WrestleMania Countdown: Triple H vs. Randy Orton

In a match that's for WAY MORE THAN THE WWE TITLE!!!!1

World Wrestling Entertainment Champion

Triple H

vs.

2009 Royal Rumble Winner

Randy Orton

If the Edge/Cena/Show match build was overkill, this build was beating a dead horse with another dead horse. But the compacted version. Trips didn't like that Orton and Priceless conspired to eliminate him at the Rumble. He really didn't like it when Orton went around and punted his in-laws and RKOed his wife, thus revealing the worst-kept kayfabe secret in all the land. A Benny Hill reenactment, a home invasion, a no-contact stipulation that was violated just days after it was implemented, a total squishifying of Cody Rhodes and two primo endings to RAW in a row later, here we are. Oh yeah, if Triple H gets diqualified or counted out, he can lose the title.

It's no secret that I hate both competitors involved in this match. It's also no secret that I'm not a huge fan of VKM's satanic spawn being on camera. I almost have nothing to look forward to in this match, but it'll probably close the show and we'll get one of those rare bummer-ends to WrestleMania, like the year they closed with Austin/Rock, turned Austin heel and spent the better part of the year trying to keep him all heeled up despite the fact the fans shat all over it and wanted him to turn back face. Still, it's a WrestleMania main event, and it could surprise. I mean, how many times do you look back at a match that you never thought you'd like going into it and were amazed? Probably more than a few.

That being said, for how awful the build for this match was for the better part of two months, the last two weeks started to make up for it. It was almost like the Crash-TV/zomg edgy writing contingient was overthrown by the guys on the staff who knew how to build a classic wrestling event. I'll give anything a chance, even if it involves people that I can never, ever find myself rooting for, as long as it's compelling. I'm probably different in that regard, as most people wouldn't care if the story's good if they can't find someone to identify with.

Still, I really hope that for future big events, that the booking staff sees the writing on the wall and notices how much their former target demographic has flocked towards MMA, where the storyline 99 times out of 100 is "can fighter x beat fighter y?" When that's the target storyline, it lends itself to great TV. It doesn't mean that you don't have to have the gaudy segments and bombastic characters. That is what will always set wrestling apart from MMA. I mean, look at the Michaels/Taker feud. The overarching storyline was "can Michaels end Taker's WM streak?" Simple, effective, but it didn't stop them from having those funeral segments at the end of the build and those segments were well-done because they focused on one guy trying to get a mental advantage over the other guy going into the bout. That's all you need.

Leave home invasions for network drama series. Just give me wrestling and stuff that involves wrestling.

Now, what do I expect from this match? I expect there to be a lot of drama over Triple H losing his shit and getting himself disqualified, but having to hold back because the title still means something to him. I expect Randy Orton to use a lot of rest holds. I expect a ref bump and a clusterfuck featuring Priceless and the McMahon boys. And I expect Stephanie to swerve the world, hit Trips with a sledgehammer or something and allow Randy Orton to get the win, thus joining Legacy and yeah yeah yeah.

What do I want to happen? A very localized fissure in the Earth's crust to swallow up Stephanie, Trips and Randy Orton and take them away from us for good. Okay, for real, I just don't want to be annoyed. This is the match I care least about.