Very, very good column. I'm not gonna do all of the Wrestling Rules he laid out, because a lot of what he says here echoes what I feel. Let's break down the more salient points:
The World Title means EVERYTHING: This applies to all titles really but the World Title has to be the main focus of the company. Credibility needs to be restored to the Titles. Titles can not be flip flopped all over the place. Fans need to be able to follow title lineage, and any time the title changes hands it needs to be a significant event. The World Title should only be defended in a 1 on 1 match. You could argue for 3 ways but in that event they need to be elimination so the best man wins and the former champ is always beaten to lose the title. The World Title means you are the best individual wrestler in the company and it should never be on the line in a match where other factors or other people can play a major role in determining who the best is.
A-fucking-men. This goes back to my rant against the Backlash main event. Now, Triple H in theory did the right thing by jobbing the title to Randy Orton himself rather than letting Batista or Shane McMuffintop do it for him, but Batista had a major role in costing Trips the belt. This speaks to the last sentence in that quote. You don't set up a situation where the best wrestler in the company isn't going to be holding the World Championship.
Simplify the Product: Not every match needs to have an angle. Wrestlers are professional fighters they can be booked in matches just because it is their job. The angle or motivation for the match is that if they win they make more money and if they win enough they get a title shot. Simple angles can be spun from matches and their results, not everything needs to be a storyline. Fewer segments and focusing on one or two main angles per show will make for a far more effective and memorable program.
Wrestlers wrestling because it's their job? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! Seriously though, MMA is so popular not because guys have flamboyant personalities or because people get invested in who wins and who loses each match. Competition is angle enough most of the time.
As an aside, I really don't think that Vince McMahon and co. and the brainless braintrust that runs TNA are totally to blame for this shift away from wins and losses. If the folks at ESPN, Fox and other sporting outlets had their way, it wouldn't be about wins and losses, it'd be about the stories. I mean, why else would the top story on ESPN.com yesterday be about Brett Favre meeting with the Vikings... not signing, not being traded to, not playing, but meeting with them, while playoff games in two major sports were taking place? I mean, whenever teams from two less desireable markets make a championship game or series, the announcers and columnists and "experts" lament that ratings are going to be down because the teams aren't from "big" markets. We've come to the point where ESPN reports rumors and conjecture as if they were news on their Bottom Line. So maybe the wrestling braintrusts are trying to make their product more like sports.
The big problem with that, though, is that there's a substantial backlash against the sports media juggernauts for their TMZ-like approach to sports nowadays. This groundswell in favor of emphasis on competition ain't just happening in wrestling, folks.
Bring back Managers and Valets: ...Now on to Valets. Not every girl needs to be having wrestling matches, and throwing 10 of them out there in 3 minute tag matches servers no purpose what so ever. Valets, like Managers can differentiate and help liven up the individual male talent on the roster. Dawn Marie made me who I was in ECW. She gave me depth and character that I never could have developed on my own. Take the girls who look the part and have the personality and pair them with guys who need an extra something to stand out. You can still keep the Women’s division alive, just do it with the girls who can work.
Thank you, Lance. For anyone who's tried to sit through Michelle McCool and Maria blown-spot-fest with that fugly blonde troll trying to act all serious afterwards with her "MDT" heel hook, that passage was for you. I don't know why the WWE has to force us to believe that every woman can work. They obviously can't, especially to the tune of having two different women's titles. There's no reason why the division can't be pared down and the less talented women in the ring, girls like Maria, McCool, Kelly Kelly et al. can't just be eye candy or play a role that doesn't involve them stinking up the joint for 3 minutes and then being foisted on the crowd as a serious threat. Mickie James, Gail Kim, Beth Phoenix, Nattie Niedhart and Melina make up a solid core of women who can work in the company. That's all you need for a niche division.
To TNA's credit, their Knockouts division is one of the only things they've ever done right. They also seem to have the concept of valet somewhat alive with Jenna Morasca and Sharmell, among others. Still, I wouldn't put it past them to have Nash/Morasca vs. Booker/Sharmell in the coming weeks.
Basically, I agree with Storm's take wholeheartedly, which is why I didn't reprint the whole thing here. I didn't just want to put "amen" or "I agree" after every passage. Everyone who's a wrestling fan would do well to read the column. It's easy to follow and if you're really a wrestling fan, you'll be nodding your head in agreement and wondering why Storm doesn't have the book somewhere.
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