According to Dave Meltzer's breaking news audio update (thanks to blog friend/reader Mike Stanton for this info), Kennedy wasn't released because of his injury, but because Randy Orton wasn't happy about the way Kennedy dropped him with a suplex in Monday's main event.
Yeah, any good will Orton has built with me in the last six months is out the window. It seems like he learned more than just how to be a boring heel from Trips when they were in Evolution. I just hope he remembers that it wasn't Kennedy who injured him before, it was that oh so careful and considerate wrestler Triple H. And I hope he remembers that for Kennedy's "mistake" in that match, Kennedy was the one who got hurt off Orton's offensive move (read: carelessness), not Orton.
Banner by Billy Dunlevy
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
MISTAAAHHHHH... Future Endeavored... Endeavored
I guess he really was hurt
Well, that sucks for him. Again, like I said the other day, this was mostly his fault, but I'm bummed because I enjoyed him. Oh well.
Well, that sucks for him. Again, like I said the other day, this was mostly his fault, but I'm bummed because I enjoyed him. Oh well.
Friday Five: Heels and Heeldom
This week's Friday Five is all about the heel, the rudo, the "bad guy". While wrestling promoters would often have you root for their babyfaces, heels on the Internet always get their share of love as well. So, in honor of the dastardly, the evil, the cowardly, here's a Friday Five dedicated to them:
1. Do you root for heels, and if so, when in your wrestling fandom did you start?
2. What is your favorite style of heel?
3. Do you think that that the roles of face and heel are too blurry today?
4. What was the dumbest heel turn of all-time?
5. Best heel of all-time... who is it?
1. Do you root for heels, and if so, when in your wrestling fandom did you start?
2. What is your favorite style of heel?
3. Do you think that that the roles of face and heel are too blurry today?
4. What was the dumbest heel turn of all-time?
5. Best heel of all-time... who is it?
John Cena, the Worker
For those of you who don't know, I frequent a wrestling message board called A1 Wrestling, which started off as a place for those banned from and/or dissatisfied by Bob Ryder's 1Wrestling boards congregated. While the boards have become more valuable for their non-wrestling conversation, it still has a vibrant wrestling forum filled with a lot of bright posters. One of them, by the handle BOOGIE, posted this gem this morning:
I'm well aware of the knocks against him, mind you. He has a limited moveset, his finishers don't look like they should be finishers, his character is stale. Yadda yadda yadda. Regardless of all those knocks, many of them which aren't true (the only one I'll even come close to agreeing with is the one about his finishers), I don't think there's anyone better at putting on a main event match in the WWE right now, and that's with a roster that includes Chris Jericho, Edge, Jeff Hardy, The Big Show, Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker.
Why does Cena deserve such praise? For one, he knows how to give and take. Much like the guy whose career his most resembles, Hulk Hogan, Cena knows how to build drama in a match by selling in a way that the opponent's offense look credible, even against a guy of his size for smaller opponents. His motions are always fluid. He can get a good match out of a bad opponent (Batista, Great Khali) and great matches out of capable opponents (Umaga, Michaels, Jericho, Edge, Show). In fact, the Michaels/Cena match from WMXXIII remains one of the best main events I've seen in the last few years, and probably ranks at least in the top 10 of WM matches ever for me.
Another thing is that Cena actually pays attention to the crowd and adjusts his match strategy accordingly. If Cena senses that the crowd is turning against him, he'll start to work a more heelish strategy and let the other guy work the babyface style against him. He also seems to relish the boos he gets, which is amazing for a guy who is pushed as the über-face that he is.
In contrast, let's look at Triple H, a guy who's been reputed to be a great worker in the past. I'll admit, he's had his share of great matches. Every time he was in the ring with Mick Foley, you could count on it being a classic. His series with The Rock was good at times. Orton, Michaels and Austin have also had good matches with him in the past. However, there is a disturbing tendency for him to really sandbag other guys, especially if they happen to pose a threat to him. For example, in 2001, before Trip tore his quad and still had the capability to be great night-in and night-out, he was the only guy in the company who couldn't have a great match with Kurt Angle or Chris Benoit. While The Rock would make guys like Jericho and Hurricane Helms look like a million bucks, Trips would borderline squash them.
In my opinion, if John Cena actually had a real Death Valley Driver for an impact finisher instead of the lameFU Attitude Adjustment (although I admit the STF is a great submission finish) and didn't salute before every match, I think he'd be loved by the Internet more than he is. I mean, there isn't a better worker in the WWE right now, and that's saying a lot given how stacked the roster is right now. I'll have to say that aside from Batista, no one that they give substantial TV time to right now can't work. Before it's all said and done, Cena will be considered an all-timer in the ring, and he'll have deserved it.
Who doesn't look good against Cena? At this point in time I'm convinced Cena could have a good match with anyone, and make them look good in the process.It got me thinking. When has John Cena ever had a consistent stretch of bad matches?
I'm well aware of the knocks against him, mind you. He has a limited moveset, his finishers don't look like they should be finishers, his character is stale. Yadda yadda yadda. Regardless of all those knocks, many of them which aren't true (the only one I'll even come close to agreeing with is the one about his finishers), I don't think there's anyone better at putting on a main event match in the WWE right now, and that's with a roster that includes Chris Jericho, Edge, Jeff Hardy, The Big Show, Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker.
Why does Cena deserve such praise? For one, he knows how to give and take. Much like the guy whose career his most resembles, Hulk Hogan, Cena knows how to build drama in a match by selling in a way that the opponent's offense look credible, even against a guy of his size for smaller opponents. His motions are always fluid. He can get a good match out of a bad opponent (Batista, Great Khali) and great matches out of capable opponents (Umaga, Michaels, Jericho, Edge, Show). In fact, the Michaels/Cena match from WMXXIII remains one of the best main events I've seen in the last few years, and probably ranks at least in the top 10 of WM matches ever for me.
Another thing is that Cena actually pays attention to the crowd and adjusts his match strategy accordingly. If Cena senses that the crowd is turning against him, he'll start to work a more heelish strategy and let the other guy work the babyface style against him. He also seems to relish the boos he gets, which is amazing for a guy who is pushed as the über-face that he is.
In contrast, let's look at Triple H, a guy who's been reputed to be a great worker in the past. I'll admit, he's had his share of great matches. Every time he was in the ring with Mick Foley, you could count on it being a classic. His series with The Rock was good at times. Orton, Michaels and Austin have also had good matches with him in the past. However, there is a disturbing tendency for him to really sandbag other guys, especially if they happen to pose a threat to him. For example, in 2001, before Trip tore his quad and still had the capability to be great night-in and night-out, he was the only guy in the company who couldn't have a great match with Kurt Angle or Chris Benoit. While The Rock would make guys like Jericho and Hurricane Helms look like a million bucks, Trips would borderline squash them.
In my opinion, if John Cena actually had a real Death Valley Driver for an impact finisher instead of the lame
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Pissing It All Away (Kennedy, Scott Hall, et al.)
Meltzer is reporting that Kennedy got injured at RAW taking the RKO. My thoughts? Well, without knowing the severity and if it'll keep him on the shelf for any amount of time, it's hard to say, but once more is revealed, more can be discussed. Still, Kennedy's proving to be a real chinadoll. Every time they look to push this guy, he gets hurt. Can you say future endeavored?
Seriously, can you think of any other guy that has pissed away more chances than Kennedy has? Vince McMahon liked him so much that he named the character after his own middle name and was given an AWESOME gimmick with the old school mic. He's won a Money in the Bank ladder match. WWE Films gave him his own movie for crying out loud. He was clearly being positioned for a main event run with his confrontation of Randy Orton.
For whatever reason, he can't stay healthy. You can say that it's bad luck, and it could very well be. Some people are just injury-prone. At the same time, there are several aggravating factors that when you consider them paint a far more damning picture. This is all Kennedy's fault if you consider that he's a poor conditioner, a steroid abuser or both. Both said practices will leave one more at risk to injury than if they took care of themselves properly.
Still, if Kennedy ends up in the future endeavor line, would he be the biggest self-destruction in wrestling history? I'd say no, but he'd be up there. There's no denying that Kennedy has the charisma to succeed at a main event level. While there is backlash against his character on the Internet, I don't disagree that he is a potential future main event player and keystone. I also think he works well in the WWE main event style and would have great matches with the guys they have there now.
However, Kennedy's potential has remained mainly untapped. Guys like Shane Douglas, Scott Hall, the Ultimate Warrior and Magnum TA to name a few, achieved a lot and could have done a lot more had they not done themselves in. Douglas showed flashes of what he could have done in the bigs, but his relentless ego caused him to be persona non grata everywhere he went except for ECW, where his bitterness and burnt bridges were allowed to be huge parts of his character. Douglas, interestingly enough, is on his way back to TNA. That should be interesting.
Scott Hall is another case of painful wasted potential. He had the look and charisma to be a top hand, but he never rose above upper-midcarder because of his addictions to booze and allegedly cocaine. The Ultimate Warrior actually had megastardom in hand, but his egomania send him from the WWF on two occasions with blowtorches on his heels.
Magnum TA is a different case. It would be callous to say that his case was a case of utter self-destruction on the levels of the three above, but it's also hard to absolve him of the blame in his own car accident. He made one mistake that most people make - not driving more carefully in the rain than on regular conditions. While he wasn't speeding, in the rain, the speed limit is too fast on a winding, rural road.
We all make that mistake and some of us pay for it, but most don't. That TA paid for it with his career is the biggest tragedy, especially since he was going to be JCP's and then WCW's answer to Hulk Hogan had he not been hurt. It was a singular moment of self-destruction. He didn't overdose on pills or burn bridges in too many promotions.
While I doubt Kennedy will be remembered as fondly or as wistfully as Magnum TA, I still hope that his latest injury isn't severe enough to be put on the shelf so we don't have to ask what if. I may be in the minority on the web, but I'm very entertained by Kennedy, and I think he can have a fine career in the WWE if he gets his act together. If he's going to continue to 'roid, he needs to be able to do it more carefully. Regardless of whether he does or not, he needs to condition himself better.
Because if he doesn't, he'll end up like Douglas, Hall and the others: remembered more for what he could have been rather than what he was.
Seriously, can you think of any other guy that has pissed away more chances than Kennedy has? Vince McMahon liked him so much that he named the character after his own middle name and was given an AWESOME gimmick with the old school mic. He's won a Money in the Bank ladder match. WWE Films gave him his own movie for crying out loud. He was clearly being positioned for a main event run with his confrontation of Randy Orton.
For whatever reason, he can't stay healthy. You can say that it's bad luck, and it could very well be. Some people are just injury-prone. At the same time, there are several aggravating factors that when you consider them paint a far more damning picture. This is all Kennedy's fault if you consider that he's a poor conditioner, a steroid abuser or both. Both said practices will leave one more at risk to injury than if they took care of themselves properly.
Still, if Kennedy ends up in the future endeavor line, would he be the biggest self-destruction in wrestling history? I'd say no, but he'd be up there. There's no denying that Kennedy has the charisma to succeed at a main event level. While there is backlash against his character on the Internet, I don't disagree that he is a potential future main event player and keystone. I also think he works well in the WWE main event style and would have great matches with the guys they have there now.
However, Kennedy's potential has remained mainly untapped. Guys like Shane Douglas, Scott Hall, the Ultimate Warrior and Magnum TA to name a few, achieved a lot and could have done a lot more had they not done themselves in. Douglas showed flashes of what he could have done in the bigs, but his relentless ego caused him to be persona non grata everywhere he went except for ECW, where his bitterness and burnt bridges were allowed to be huge parts of his character. Douglas, interestingly enough, is on his way back to TNA. That should be interesting.
Scott Hall is another case of painful wasted potential. He had the look and charisma to be a top hand, but he never rose above upper-midcarder because of his addictions to booze and allegedly cocaine. The Ultimate Warrior actually had megastardom in hand, but his egomania send him from the WWF on two occasions with blowtorches on his heels.
Magnum TA is a different case. It would be callous to say that his case was a case of utter self-destruction on the levels of the three above, but it's also hard to absolve him of the blame in his own car accident. He made one mistake that most people make - not driving more carefully in the rain than on regular conditions. While he wasn't speeding, in the rain, the speed limit is too fast on a winding, rural road.
We all make that mistake and some of us pay for it, but most don't. That TA paid for it with his career is the biggest tragedy, especially since he was going to be JCP's and then WCW's answer to Hulk Hogan had he not been hurt. It was a singular moment of self-destruction. He didn't overdose on pills or burn bridges in too many promotions.
While I doubt Kennedy will be remembered as fondly or as wistfully as Magnum TA, I still hope that his latest injury isn't severe enough to be put on the shelf so we don't have to ask what if. I may be in the minority on the web, but I'm very entertained by Kennedy, and I think he can have a fine career in the WWE if he gets his act together. If he's going to continue to 'roid, he needs to be able to do it more carefully. Regardless of whether he does or not, he needs to condition himself better.
Because if he doesn't, he'll end up like Douglas, Hall and the others: remembered more for what he could have been rather than what he was.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Vince McMahon vs. the Denver Nuggets
Go figure, the biggest mainstream wrestling story since Chris Benoit went nuts and killed his family broke last week, and I was on dipsilucious vacation. There probably isn't a whole lot to say that hasn't been said on the RAW in Denver Los Angeles debacle. The fact that it got Vince McMahon and his company mainstream sports coverage has to have Papa Bear tickled pink. (and the fact that they led off the montage of mainstream coverage on RAW with former employee Jonathan Coachman reporting on it on ESPNEWS was fucking awesome if you ask me)
However, unlike the aforementioned Benoit murders and most mainstream coverage the WWF/E has gotten since the early 90s, this story has been exceedingly positive for the company. Usually, if the WWE is going to get a shoutout on ESPN, it's because of premature deaths, drug/steroid abuse or the abject failure of non-wrestling entities (WBF, Ico-Pro, the XFL). Vince seems to be a guy that loves being in the spotlight, and I get this feeling that even if the attention is negative, somewhere deep inside of him, he's smiling. So, when the public opinion is seemingly on his side, he's gotta be happier than a pig in shit.
But I didn't really want to comment on Vince's ego. Lord knows there has been much to say about that in the past and there'll be enough to say about it in the future. Honestly, this was a perfect opportunity for the WWE to bring in more casual fans and start a mini-boom. RAW could have been the launching point for that. Instead, we got a lot of lame comedy skits. I guess they still think it's 1998.
Then again, I could be in the minority on that. Plus, the wrestling action was okay, if sparse. I haven't really heard much reaction from people who weren't watching the show already. However, I'm more inclined to believe that people who might have tuned in to watch the show out of curiosity were turned away by the stupid comedy.
People still want to see action. They want to see competition. Again, MMA's rising popularity is a testament to that. The WWE had the perfect opportunity to do that, and they squandered it. But hey, at least Vince was able to look good against another sporting organization that is having its own problems and has a chance, slim as it is, to cease operations in 2011.
However, unlike the aforementioned Benoit murders and most mainstream coverage the WWF/E has gotten since the early 90s, this story has been exceedingly positive for the company. Usually, if the WWE is going to get a shoutout on ESPN, it's because of premature deaths, drug/steroid abuse or the abject failure of non-wrestling entities (WBF, Ico-Pro, the XFL). Vince seems to be a guy that loves being in the spotlight, and I get this feeling that even if the attention is negative, somewhere deep inside of him, he's smiling. So, when the public opinion is seemingly on his side, he's gotta be happier than a pig in shit.
But I didn't really want to comment on Vince's ego. Lord knows there has been much to say about that in the past and there'll be enough to say about it in the future. Honestly, this was a perfect opportunity for the WWE to bring in more casual fans and start a mini-boom. RAW could have been the launching point for that. Instead, we got a lot of lame comedy skits. I guess they still think it's 1998.
Then again, I could be in the minority on that. Plus, the wrestling action was okay, if sparse. I haven't really heard much reaction from people who weren't watching the show already. However, I'm more inclined to believe that people who might have tuned in to watch the show out of curiosity were turned away by the stupid comedy.
People still want to see action. They want to see competition. Again, MMA's rising popularity is a testament to that. The WWE had the perfect opportunity to do that, and they squandered it. But hey, at least Vince was able to look good against another sporting organization that is having its own problems and has a chance, slim as it is, to cease operations in 2011.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The Problem with ECW's Announce Team
Often times on this blog I've praised the color commentary of one Matt Striker, and for good reason. He's probably the best color man in the company right now, adding a depth of knowledge and insight that no one can even think about doing in either of the other brands or even in TNA. Still, something has seemed off about the broadcast as of late, and it doesn't have anything to do with the wrestling. Since Todd Grisham has left, it seems like the quality has dipped, and this week, it was actually dreadful.
At several times during the broadcast, there were stretches of dead air during key stretches of the match. It almost seemed like both Striker and Josh Matthews were playing the color commentary. No one took the lead on PBP. It was awkward sounding.
It was no real fault of Striker's, but if he were more seasoned, he'd know to take the lead. He's not. All he really does right now is try to fill the broadcast with his witticisms, his nuggets of info, his insights. That's alright if he's working with someone he can work off, like Grisham or even more ideally, Jim Ross. However, Matthews is proving to be going through growing pains at the very least. He's not a PBP guy, at least not yet. You could argue that he's on the right program to grow into the role, since ECW is their rising-star brand, but at the same time, ECW needs their stars to get the same treatment as their "major" brand counterparts, especially because it is the "wrestling" brand.
For Striker to have to carry a broadcast in that capacity this early in his career is a challenge for him. While he carried Grisham, Grisham at least tried to call the action. He was fairly serviceable at it, and he and Striker had a slight rapport, rudimentarily channeling the adversarial vibe that Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan had in the late 80s/early 90s. Striker needs someone to feed off of. Whether Matthews isn't used to being a PBP guy, whether he's not good at listening to his feed in the headset and talking at the same time or whatever, he's not that guy.
That's why it baffles me that the WWE wouldn't at least try to bring someone in that's trained at doing sports PBP. Again, the announcer's booth is an area where you need to emphasize the sports part of sports entertainment. The booth is pretty much the most sports-intensive out-of-ring setting in the business. Without it, you might as well just mic the wrestlers all the time and have them say lines even in the ring as they're wrestling.
And what even makes it more baffling for the WWE not to do this is the shift in sports announcing away from calling the game and towards selling storylines during the action. Sports networks, exemplified by ABC/ESPN putting guys like Dennis Miller and Tony Kornheiser in the booth for Monday Night Football, aren't interested in having guys go monotone about the action. It's not radio anymore. You have to think that in the training phase, people realize this and are teaching announcers to look for storylines rather than monotonously calling action.
So, unless Matthews improves a lot over the next couple of weeks, it's clear that the WWE needs to get Striker off that island and into a situation where he can shine like the announcer everyone knows and loves.
And with that, I'm out for the week. I'll be heading off to Miami to embark on a Western Caribbean cruise. I won't be back until next Sunday, and there's a good chance that the next entry here won't be until next Tuesday. So please, have a great Memorial Day, and if you get bored, go back and do the Friday Fives I've posted.
See you in a week!
At several times during the broadcast, there were stretches of dead air during key stretches of the match. It almost seemed like both Striker and Josh Matthews were playing the color commentary. No one took the lead on PBP. It was awkward sounding.
It was no real fault of Striker's, but if he were more seasoned, he'd know to take the lead. He's not. All he really does right now is try to fill the broadcast with his witticisms, his nuggets of info, his insights. That's alright if he's working with someone he can work off, like Grisham or even more ideally, Jim Ross. However, Matthews is proving to be going through growing pains at the very least. He's not a PBP guy, at least not yet. You could argue that he's on the right program to grow into the role, since ECW is their rising-star brand, but at the same time, ECW needs their stars to get the same treatment as their "major" brand counterparts, especially because it is the "wrestling" brand.
For Striker to have to carry a broadcast in that capacity this early in his career is a challenge for him. While he carried Grisham, Grisham at least tried to call the action. He was fairly serviceable at it, and he and Striker had a slight rapport, rudimentarily channeling the adversarial vibe that Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan had in the late 80s/early 90s. Striker needs someone to feed off of. Whether Matthews isn't used to being a PBP guy, whether he's not good at listening to his feed in the headset and talking at the same time or whatever, he's not that guy.
That's why it baffles me that the WWE wouldn't at least try to bring someone in that's trained at doing sports PBP. Again, the announcer's booth is an area where you need to emphasize the sports part of sports entertainment. The booth is pretty much the most sports-intensive out-of-ring setting in the business. Without it, you might as well just mic the wrestlers all the time and have them say lines even in the ring as they're wrestling.
And what even makes it more baffling for the WWE not to do this is the shift in sports announcing away from calling the game and towards selling storylines during the action. Sports networks, exemplified by ABC/ESPN putting guys like Dennis Miller and Tony Kornheiser in the booth for Monday Night Football, aren't interested in having guys go monotone about the action. It's not radio anymore. You have to think that in the training phase, people realize this and are teaching announcers to look for storylines rather than monotonously calling action.
So, unless Matthews improves a lot over the next couple of weeks, it's clear that the WWE needs to get Striker off that island and into a situation where he can shine like the announcer everyone knows and loves.
And with that, I'm out for the week. I'll be heading off to Miami to embark on a Western Caribbean cruise. I won't be back until next Sunday, and there's a good chance that the next entry here won't be until next Tuesday. So please, have a great Memorial Day, and if you get bored, go back and do the Friday Fives I've posted.
See you in a week!
Friday, May 15, 2009
Friday Five: Pay-Per-View Extravaganzas
This Sunday, the WWE presents Judgment Day live on PPV. No, I'm not a shill for the 'E (although I did pass by their offices to-and-from Maine this week), but you have to admit that that's a good approximation of how they present their PPV events when they do shill. Regardless, this week's Friday Five is all about the PPV event. It used to be that only the biggest events were on PPV. I remember the days of the Big Four quarterly events for the WWF and WCW. With the expansion of the product, more PPV events were added and now, the WWE averages more than one PPV a month. That wouldn't be bad if they didn't put the kibosh on brand-exclusive PPVs. Anyway, here are your questions for this week's Friday Five:
1. What was the first PPV card you remember watching?
2. Should they bring back brand-exclusive PPVs in the WWE?
3. What PPV main event do you remember thinking "Man, there's no way this is going to be any good," and then were suprised at how good it was?
4. Would you consider buying a PPV from a company that didn't have regular, widespread American TV coverage? (ie, Chikara, ROH, NJPW, AAA, etc.)
5. Predict WrestleMania XXVII's main event (not 2010, but 2011).
1. What was the first PPV card you remember watching?
2. Should they bring back brand-exclusive PPVs in the WWE?
3. What PPV main event do you remember thinking "Man, there's no way this is going to be any good," and then were suprised at how good it was?
4. Would you consider buying a PPV from a company that didn't have regular, widespread American TV coverage? (ie, Chikara, ROH, NJPW, AAA, etc.)
5. Predict WrestleMania XXVII's main event (not 2010, but 2011).
Thursday, May 14, 2009
From the Archives: Eddie Guerrero Double Feature
Just as the title says, we're double-dipping into the impressive catalog of one Eddie Guerrero. Both matches are from the Japan days, from New Japan Pro Wrestling to be specific. This first one is from the legendary Super J Cup 1994 Tournament, the one that Chris Benoit won with a top rope WildBomb on Great Sasuke. This is a first round match featuring Eddie Guerrero as Black Tiger II against a very young-looking TAKA Michinoku:
It's a very offensive-paced match. A lot of back-and-forth, some good counters, especially a spot where Eddie just ACCORDIONS TAKA with a powerbomb out of a rana attempt. The crowd is very much into this match and is behind TAKA over the gaijin Tiger. I should note that I watched the entire tournament back in 2001, courtesy of Matt Talbot. Lives up to the hype in all respects. A lot of legends in their early days in this tourney.
The next match features Eddie against fellow Radical Dean Malenko. It takes place June 15, 1993:
If you can get past Eddie's mullet and loud, Bret Hart-inspired 90s-tastic tights, it's a good match ;) In all seriousness though, this match serves as a contrast to the former one. Eddie, out of the BTII costume, is in more of a wrestling match here rather than an offensive tradeoff. In the ring with one of the great techincal wrestlers of our time, Eddie proves that he is game no matter what the style. Look out for some good high flying stuff from Eddie, as well as a nice powerbomb with a jackknife pin follow-up.
It's a very offensive-paced match. A lot of back-and-forth, some good counters, especially a spot where Eddie just ACCORDIONS TAKA with a powerbomb out of a rana attempt. The crowd is very much into this match and is behind TAKA over the gaijin Tiger. I should note that I watched the entire tournament back in 2001, courtesy of Matt Talbot. Lives up to the hype in all respects. A lot of legends in their early days in this tourney.
The next match features Eddie against fellow Radical Dean Malenko. It takes place June 15, 1993:
If you can get past Eddie's mullet and loud, Bret Hart-inspired 90s-tastic tights, it's a good match ;) In all seriousness though, this match serves as a contrast to the former one. Eddie, out of the BTII costume, is in more of a wrestling match here rather than an offensive tradeoff. In the ring with one of the great techincal wrestlers of our time, Eddie proves that he is game no matter what the style. Look out for some good high flying stuff from Eddie, as well as a nice powerbomb with a jackknife pin follow-up.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Best Moves of All-Time: Art Barr's Frogsplash
The frogsplash is one of the most common high-flying finishers in wrestling. Many people do it, from the ridiculous (Hornswoggle) to the sublime (RVD). The best frogsplash is one you probably haven't seen though. I know I haven't until recently. Does the name Art Barr ring a bell to you? If it doesn't, he was an up-and-comer in the wrestling industry in the late 80s/early 90s. He actually wrestled in Mexico, both under a mask as Love Machine and without one. He was also very close friends with one Eddie Guerrero. They formed a tag team in Mexico and brought the house down at the special crossover event When Worlds Collide against El Hijo del Santo and Octagon. Sadly but typically of wrestlers, Barr passed away just as he was about to join ECW in 1994. In tribute to his friend, Eddie started using the frogsplash. Oddly enough, after Eddie's death, his nephew Chavo started using it in tribute to his uncle.
Still, of all the ones I've seen - and I've seen more than a few - Barr's is the best. You be the judge:
Still, of all the ones I've seen - and I've seen more than a few - Barr's is the best. You be the judge:
Monday, May 11, 2009
Lance Storm in ROH
Storm to wrestle in two ROH Toronto shows
Storm has a history with ROH, having wrestled Bryan Danielson for their World Championship back in 2006. If you're a ROHBot, this is good news, since Storm is well-received in the promotion. I personally find him bland in the ring, even in ECW where he was freer to do things he couldn't do in WCW or the WWE. I'd rather have him behind the book.
Storm has a history with ROH, having wrestled Bryan Danielson for their World Championship back in 2006. If you're a ROHBot, this is good news, since Storm is well-received in the promotion. I personally find him bland in the ring, even in ECW where he was freer to do things he couldn't do in WCW or the WWE. I'd rather have him behind the book.
Tommy Dreamer
For those who don't watch ECW nowadays, you may be missing a farewell tour for one of the most underrated wrestlers of the last 20 years. Tommy Dreamer, a guy who has been wrestling under the banner of ECW, be it as Eastern Championship Wrestling, Extreme Championship Wrestling as it's own entity or the WWE version of that same Extreme fed, is seemingly at the end of his career in the ring. At least that's what the storyline says. We all know that wrestlers are like rock bands - a farewell tour usually never means that they're never wrestling again. Ric Flair so far has been the exception rather than the rule, and at times, the WWE teased a return to the ring from the Nature Boy, usually involving one Chris Jericho.
That being the case for most wrestlers, there's reason to believe that there's more Flair in Dreamer than there is, say, Jimmy Valiant. Dreamer was called the "Innovator of Violence" in his heyday for good reason. A lot of the extreme warfare he put himself through has resulted in him becoming a broken shell of himself right now. Most people think he's one of the worst, if not the worst worker in the ECW brand right now. I think that could be the case, although for his condition, he can still pop a crowd, still hit his spots and can still pace himself in the ring. If he's the worst in the brand, it's because the rest of the roster is so friggin' good. Whether good or bad though, I can't imagine his body being able to handle the rigors of a WWE work schedule.
So, when his contract expires in June, whether he wins the ECW Championship or not, I expect him to at least retire from the WWE. Whether he goes to ROH, TNA or another indie to work, or whether he stays in the WWE as a NPC or a road agent, I don't think he'll be working in any WWE brand as a full-time wrestler anymore. Meltzer has reported that current interim ECW GM Tiffany won't kayfabed into the full-time position. I was very high on her on her first night, but since then, she really hasn't shown she could be an authority figure. She's too bland, too soft. She's better suited as a valet, or in a role where she can show more emotions (since I'm sure the WWE is telling her that only Vickie Guerrero is allowed to be an emotional female character as GM).
The rumor is that Dreamer will take over the role after his wrestling contract expires. While I love Tommy in the ring and think his character was always entertaining, I don't think it would translate well into a position of authority. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy that can go out and start making proclamations every week. I know that if he was left to make sporadic appearances as an impartial GM that didn't drive the action every week, then it might work, but we all know that the WWE likes to have their authority figures be people who make the shows happen, rather than letting the wrestlers do it. ECW was a brand that was left alone for the most part, with Teddy Long making few appearances, but you just never know anymore.
Whether it happens or not, there's still the question of whether they'll actually give Dreamer a run with the ECW Championship before he leaves. I personally would, but I'm a Dreamer mark and I also give bonus points for loyalty. It makes sense from a business standpoint as well. Even though Christian is over as the ECW Champion and Jack Swagger is a guy who needs it more than either of the two, Dreamer is perhaps the most over guy in the company right now. He still gets loud pops and crowd cheers as the only real link left to the original ECW left. To give him a title win would be to acknowledge his contributions to the business and the impact that the original fed had.
It doesn't have to be a long reign. He can win the title at Judgement Day in a three-way with Christian and Swagger and then lose it the next ECW show to any number of contenders... the aforementioned Christian and Swagger, Finlay, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry or my personal pick, Vladimir Kozlov. Then, you give him a sendoff with fanfare and then if he's the next GM, you bring him back the next show.
Whatever happens though, Tommy Dreamer is a guy who deserves his due. He's one of the most selfless wrestlers in an industry full of greed and ego. He's always put company over himself, and in the end, he'll be remembered for it more than some of the guys who did so much to sabotage others so they and their friends could be on top.
That being the case for most wrestlers, there's reason to believe that there's more Flair in Dreamer than there is, say, Jimmy Valiant. Dreamer was called the "Innovator of Violence" in his heyday for good reason. A lot of the extreme warfare he put himself through has resulted in him becoming a broken shell of himself right now. Most people think he's one of the worst, if not the worst worker in the ECW brand right now. I think that could be the case, although for his condition, he can still pop a crowd, still hit his spots and can still pace himself in the ring. If he's the worst in the brand, it's because the rest of the roster is so friggin' good. Whether good or bad though, I can't imagine his body being able to handle the rigors of a WWE work schedule.
So, when his contract expires in June, whether he wins the ECW Championship or not, I expect him to at least retire from the WWE. Whether he goes to ROH, TNA or another indie to work, or whether he stays in the WWE as a NPC or a road agent, I don't think he'll be working in any WWE brand as a full-time wrestler anymore. Meltzer has reported that current interim ECW GM Tiffany won't kayfabed into the full-time position. I was very high on her on her first night, but since then, she really hasn't shown she could be an authority figure. She's too bland, too soft. She's better suited as a valet, or in a role where she can show more emotions (since I'm sure the WWE is telling her that only Vickie Guerrero is allowed to be an emotional female character as GM).
The rumor is that Dreamer will take over the role after his wrestling contract expires. While I love Tommy in the ring and think his character was always entertaining, I don't think it would translate well into a position of authority. He doesn't seem like the kind of guy that can go out and start making proclamations every week. I know that if he was left to make sporadic appearances as an impartial GM that didn't drive the action every week, then it might work, but we all know that the WWE likes to have their authority figures be people who make the shows happen, rather than letting the wrestlers do it. ECW was a brand that was left alone for the most part, with Teddy Long making few appearances, but you just never know anymore.
Whether it happens or not, there's still the question of whether they'll actually give Dreamer a run with the ECW Championship before he leaves. I personally would, but I'm a Dreamer mark and I also give bonus points for loyalty. It makes sense from a business standpoint as well. Even though Christian is over as the ECW Champion and Jack Swagger is a guy who needs it more than either of the two, Dreamer is perhaps the most over guy in the company right now. He still gets loud pops and crowd cheers as the only real link left to the original ECW left. To give him a title win would be to acknowledge his contributions to the business and the impact that the original fed had.
It doesn't have to be a long reign. He can win the title at Judgement Day in a three-way with Christian and Swagger and then lose it the next ECW show to any number of contenders... the aforementioned Christian and Swagger, Finlay, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry or my personal pick, Vladimir Kozlov. Then, you give him a sendoff with fanfare and then if he's the next GM, you bring him back the next show.
Whatever happens though, Tommy Dreamer is a guy who deserves his due. He's one of the most selfless wrestlers in an industry full of greed and ego. He's always put company over himself, and in the end, he'll be remembered for it more than some of the guys who did so much to sabotage others so they and their friends could be on top.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Friday Five - Tag Teams
Alright, I'm starting up yet another feature, this one will be based on reader participation! The "Friday Five" meme has been one of the most popular on the 'Net for a long time. In fact, I can remember in the days before The Great A1 Split from 1Wrestling when Norko Kipte (SupTool at 1Bob and currently at A1) would post his wrestling-oriented version every Friday. I used to look forward to that all the time. I figured that it would be a good way to get readers involved (i.e. fish for comments! :p).
We start off this feature with what has become a lost art in mainstream wrestling today - tag team wrestling. Although it's seemingly on its death bed, tag wrestling is not forgotten since the WWE is releasing an Allied Powers DVD dedicated to the best in tag wrestling throughout the years. If only they concentrated on it in their current product...
Anyway, without further ado:
1. What is your favorite all-time tag team?
2. What has been the best tag match you've seen in the last year?
3. Could a six-man title work nowadays?
4. Is the "enemies winning the Tag Titles" angle played out?
And finally...
5. If you could take anyone in wrestling today and create your own "Smackdown Six" to build a program around, who would it be?
With the idea of the "Smackdown Six" being six guys split up into three different teams that feuded at the top of the card, a la what the Paul Heyman-booked Smackdown brand had with Los Guerreros, Edge/Rey Mysterio and Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit in 2002.
I'll be back with my answers in comment later.
We start off this feature with what has become a lost art in mainstream wrestling today - tag team wrestling. Although it's seemingly on its death bed, tag wrestling is not forgotten since the WWE is releasing an Allied Powers DVD dedicated to the best in tag wrestling throughout the years. If only they concentrated on it in their current product...
Anyway, without further ado:
1. What is your favorite all-time tag team?
2. What has been the best tag match you've seen in the last year?
3. Could a six-man title work nowadays?
4. Is the "enemies winning the Tag Titles" angle played out?
And finally...
5. If you could take anyone in wrestling today and create your own "Smackdown Six" to build a program around, who would it be?
With the idea of the "Smackdown Six" being six guys split up into three different teams that feuded at the top of the card, a la what the Paul Heyman-booked Smackdown brand had with Los Guerreros, Edge/Rey Mysterio and Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit in 2002.
I'll be back with my answers in comment later.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Lance Storm's Seven Golden Rules
Lance Storm's mad as hell, and he's not gonna take it anymore
Very, very good column. I'm not gonna do all of the Wrestling Rules he laid out, because a lot of what he says here echoes what I feel. Let's break down the more salient points:
A-fucking-men. This goes back to my rant against the Backlash main event. Now, Triple H in theory did the right thing by jobbing the title to Randy Orton himself rather than letting Batista or Shane McMuffintop do it for him, but Batista had a major role in costing Trips the belt. This speaks to the last sentence in that quote. You don't set up a situation where the best wrestler in the company isn't going to be holding the World Championship.
Wrestlers wrestling because it's their job? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! Seriously though, MMA is so popular not because guys have flamboyant personalities or because people get invested in who wins and who loses each match. Competition is angle enough most of the time.
As an aside, I really don't think that Vince McMahon and co. and the brainless braintrust that runs TNA are totally to blame for this shift away from wins and losses. If the folks at ESPN, Fox and other sporting outlets had their way, it wouldn't be about wins and losses, it'd be about the stories. I mean, why else would the top story on ESPN.com yesterday be about Brett Favre meeting with the Vikings... not signing, not being traded to, not playing, but meeting with them, while playoff games in two major sports were taking place? I mean, whenever teams from two less desireable markets make a championship game or series, the announcers and columnists and "experts" lament that ratings are going to be down because the teams aren't from "big" markets. We've come to the point where ESPN reports rumors and conjecture as if they were news on their Bottom Line. So maybe the wrestling braintrusts are trying to make their product more like sports.
The big problem with that, though, is that there's a substantial backlash against the sports media juggernauts for their TMZ-like approach to sports nowadays. This groundswell in favor of emphasis on competition ain't just happening in wrestling, folks.
Thank you, Lance. For anyone who's tried to sit through Michelle McCool and Maria blown-spot-fest with that fugly blonde troll trying to act all serious afterwards with her "MDT" heel hook, that passage was for you. I don't know why the WWE has to force us to believe that every woman can work. They obviously can't, especially to the tune of having two different women's titles. There's no reason why the division can't be pared down and the less talented women in the ring, girls like Maria, McCool, Kelly Kelly et al. can't just be eye candy or play a role that doesn't involve them stinking up the joint for 3 minutes and then being foisted on the crowd as a serious threat. Mickie James, Gail Kim, Beth Phoenix, Nattie Niedhart and Melina make up a solid core of women who can work in the company. That's all you need for a niche division.
To TNA's credit, their Knockouts division is one of the only things they've ever done right. They also seem to have the concept of valet somewhat alive with Jenna Morasca and Sharmell, among others. Still, I wouldn't put it past them to have Nash/Morasca vs. Booker/Sharmell in the coming weeks.
Basically, I agree with Storm's take wholeheartedly, which is why I didn't reprint the whole thing here. I didn't just want to put "amen" or "I agree" after every passage. Everyone who's a wrestling fan would do well to read the column. It's easy to follow and if you're really a wrestling fan, you'll be nodding your head in agreement and wondering why Storm doesn't have the book somewhere.
Very, very good column. I'm not gonna do all of the Wrestling Rules he laid out, because a lot of what he says here echoes what I feel. Let's break down the more salient points:
The World Title means EVERYTHING: This applies to all titles really but the World Title has to be the main focus of the company. Credibility needs to be restored to the Titles. Titles can not be flip flopped all over the place. Fans need to be able to follow title lineage, and any time the title changes hands it needs to be a significant event. The World Title should only be defended in a 1 on 1 match. You could argue for 3 ways but in that event they need to be elimination so the best man wins and the former champ is always beaten to lose the title. The World Title means you are the best individual wrestler in the company and it should never be on the line in a match where other factors or other people can play a major role in determining who the best is.
A-fucking-men. This goes back to my rant against the Backlash main event. Now, Triple H in theory did the right thing by jobbing the title to Randy Orton himself rather than letting Batista or Shane McMuffintop do it for him, but Batista had a major role in costing Trips the belt. This speaks to the last sentence in that quote. You don't set up a situation where the best wrestler in the company isn't going to be holding the World Championship.
Simplify the Product: Not every match needs to have an angle. Wrestlers are professional fighters they can be booked in matches just because it is their job. The angle or motivation for the match is that if they win they make more money and if they win enough they get a title shot. Simple angles can be spun from matches and their results, not everything needs to be a storyline. Fewer segments and focusing on one or two main angles per show will make for a far more effective and memorable program.
Wrestlers wrestling because it's their job? GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! Seriously though, MMA is so popular not because guys have flamboyant personalities or because people get invested in who wins and who loses each match. Competition is angle enough most of the time.
As an aside, I really don't think that Vince McMahon and co. and the brainless braintrust that runs TNA are totally to blame for this shift away from wins and losses. If the folks at ESPN, Fox and other sporting outlets had their way, it wouldn't be about wins and losses, it'd be about the stories. I mean, why else would the top story on ESPN.com yesterday be about Brett Favre meeting with the Vikings... not signing, not being traded to, not playing, but meeting with them, while playoff games in two major sports were taking place? I mean, whenever teams from two less desireable markets make a championship game or series, the announcers and columnists and "experts" lament that ratings are going to be down because the teams aren't from "big" markets. We've come to the point where ESPN reports rumors and conjecture as if they were news on their Bottom Line. So maybe the wrestling braintrusts are trying to make their product more like sports.
The big problem with that, though, is that there's a substantial backlash against the sports media juggernauts for their TMZ-like approach to sports nowadays. This groundswell in favor of emphasis on competition ain't just happening in wrestling, folks.
Bring back Managers and Valets: ...Now on to Valets. Not every girl needs to be having wrestling matches, and throwing 10 of them out there in 3 minute tag matches servers no purpose what so ever. Valets, like Managers can differentiate and help liven up the individual male talent on the roster. Dawn Marie made me who I was in ECW. She gave me depth and character that I never could have developed on my own. Take the girls who look the part and have the personality and pair them with guys who need an extra something to stand out. You can still keep the Women’s division alive, just do it with the girls who can work.
Thank you, Lance. For anyone who's tried to sit through Michelle McCool and Maria blown-spot-fest with that fugly blonde troll trying to act all serious afterwards with her "MDT" heel hook, that passage was for you. I don't know why the WWE has to force us to believe that every woman can work. They obviously can't, especially to the tune of having two different women's titles. There's no reason why the division can't be pared down and the less talented women in the ring, girls like Maria, McCool, Kelly Kelly et al. can't just be eye candy or play a role that doesn't involve them stinking up the joint for 3 minutes and then being foisted on the crowd as a serious threat. Mickie James, Gail Kim, Beth Phoenix, Nattie Niedhart and Melina make up a solid core of women who can work in the company. That's all you need for a niche division.
To TNA's credit, their Knockouts division is one of the only things they've ever done right. They also seem to have the concept of valet somewhat alive with Jenna Morasca and Sharmell, among others. Still, I wouldn't put it past them to have Nash/Morasca vs. Booker/Sharmell in the coming weeks.
Basically, I agree with Storm's take wholeheartedly, which is why I didn't reprint the whole thing here. I didn't just want to put "amen" or "I agree" after every passage. Everyone who's a wrestling fan would do well to read the column. It's easy to follow and if you're really a wrestling fan, you'll be nodding your head in agreement and wondering why Storm doesn't have the book somewhere.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
From the Archives: Chris Jericho vs. Ultimo Dragon
Firstly, is anyone else as pissed about the time change for ECW on SciFi? I'm probably showing my age, but I really can't stay up until 11 PM on consecutive nights to watch wrestling anymore, not with when I wake up in the morning. Go ahead, make fun, but I just can't do it.
Aaaaaanyway, I promised a FtA from the 90s last week and didn't deliver, so I'm giving it to you this week. This match features Chris Jericho taking on cruiserweight puro legend Ultimo Dragon in the WAR promotion in the mid 90s. I can't find the date for this match anywhere, but I can only assume it takes place between 1994 and 1995.
It's no secret that my favorite wrestler of all time is Chris Jericho. I've been a fan since his ECW TV Championship match with Pitbull #2. Despite running into political troubles, Jericho has consistently been one of the most entertaining men in and out of the ring in wrestling and has been worthy of my praise. Dragon is another admirable wrestler. Despite losing a huge chunk of time due to a surgeon's error, Dragon made inroads in and out of the ring. In the ring, he was a very influential junior and important cog in WCW's cruiserweight renaissance. Out of the ring, he gave us Toryumon directly, and from that spawned Dragon's Gate.
This match features the two colliding in one of their many encounters. Now, if you're used to the slowly paced classic matches with a lot of selling, psychology and strategically placed big spots, well, this is a total 180 from that. There's not a whole lot of extensive selling or working of body parts. The feeling out process is short and the bombs start dropping early when Jericho nails Dragon with a bridging electric chair suplex while Dragon is appealing to the ref.
I won't lie. While I enjoy a good, classic wrestling match, I'm a workrate mark at heart. Give me a ton of moves and I'll be happy. This match does just that, yet it manages to keep a good pace and not devolve totally into an indieriffic/TNA X-Division styled "let's just do some spots" match. But there are super ranas countered into powerbombs. There are Tiger suplexes. There are counters and then there are more counters. This isn't for the feint of heart, and if you thought Ultimo Dragon was overrated before, this won't help that perception. I, however, don't find anything wrong with this style, and I think that you can find quality in any style of wrestling as long as the guys working it are competant, capable and charismatic. Jericho and Dragon definitely fit that bill.
So without further ado:
Aaaaaanyway, I promised a FtA from the 90s last week and didn't deliver, so I'm giving it to you this week. This match features Chris Jericho taking on cruiserweight puro legend Ultimo Dragon in the WAR promotion in the mid 90s. I can't find the date for this match anywhere, but I can only assume it takes place between 1994 and 1995.
It's no secret that my favorite wrestler of all time is Chris Jericho. I've been a fan since his ECW TV Championship match with Pitbull #2. Despite running into political troubles, Jericho has consistently been one of the most entertaining men in and out of the ring in wrestling and has been worthy of my praise. Dragon is another admirable wrestler. Despite losing a huge chunk of time due to a surgeon's error, Dragon made inroads in and out of the ring. In the ring, he was a very influential junior and important cog in WCW's cruiserweight renaissance. Out of the ring, he gave us Toryumon directly, and from that spawned Dragon's Gate.
This match features the two colliding in one of their many encounters. Now, if you're used to the slowly paced classic matches with a lot of selling, psychology and strategically placed big spots, well, this is a total 180 from that. There's not a whole lot of extensive selling or working of body parts. The feeling out process is short and the bombs start dropping early when Jericho nails Dragon with a bridging electric chair suplex while Dragon is appealing to the ref.
I won't lie. While I enjoy a good, classic wrestling match, I'm a workrate mark at heart. Give me a ton of moves and I'll be happy. This match does just that, yet it manages to keep a good pace and not devolve totally into an indieriffic/TNA X-Division styled "let's just do some spots" match. But there are super ranas countered into powerbombs. There are Tiger suplexes. There are counters and then there are more counters. This isn't for the feint of heart, and if you thought Ultimo Dragon was overrated before, this won't help that perception. I, however, don't find anything wrong with this style, and I think that you can find quality in any style of wrestling as long as the guys working it are competant, capable and charismatic. Jericho and Dragon definitely fit that bill.
So without further ado:
RAW Is Snore
Talk about dropping the ball.
Last week, RAW seemed fresh, vibrant and ready to sprint towards the summer months with a cast of new additions, a steadily improving WWE Champion and no Triple H to anchor the program down. Talk about a 180 turn. Last night's RAW was boring, plodding and ultimately forgettable.
First thing's first... while it popped the crowd, there was no reason to have a segment that prominently featured Jillian Hall at all. If anything, that singing competition should have been saved for a commercial break, an Easter egg for the live crowd so to speak.
Second, they totally ruined a chance to add more fuel to the fire on the Miz/Cena angle. In fact, they followed my proposed angle almost to the letter... except they didn't have Miz capitalize after Show destroyed Cena. Speaking of that... the beatdown was too slow and boring. I appreciate the WWE trying to add a little gravitas to the program, but it just doesn't work.
Third, what the fuck was going on with William Regal? Was he a face or a heel? Why would you have a heel challenger to MVP talk trash about another one of the heels on the program (The Miz)? For the last two or three months, the WWE has been teasing heel on heel programs, first with Edge and Show, then this past Friday on Smackdown with Edge and Jericho, and now Miz and Regal. While a heel/heel program would be more interesting, I have a feeling the crowd would shit on it or try to turn one of them face. The result of the match, with Regal causing MVP to be counted out, was just fine, and that could be a very interesting program if given the time to shine, but Regal dissing Miz was a WTF moment for me. Very surreal.
Finally... there's the main event business. I had no interest in seeing Shane McMahon again go all Superman on all three members of Legacy, so I went to bed. From all reports, I didn't miss much, since like I expected, Shane McMahon went all Superman on Legacy. A1 poster KoppoKick made an excellent point... do you realize what would happen if they gave someone like MVP the Shane push? He'd be insanely over with the crowd even more than he already is. Instead of him in the thick of challenging Orton, we get him wrestling Dolph Ziggler with one of the cackling buzzards from The View in his corner.
And don't get me started on Vickie Guerrero. She's gone from an entertaining heel accompaniment to Edge to a shrill, annoying WTF-machine. She's become the epitome of the modern authority figure... she has to have all eyes on her and she has to be the one to drive the action, not the wrestlers. Would it have been too much to make a six-man tag match as the main event, which would have given both MVP and Batista... who's only the guy challenging for the WWE Championship at the next PPV a bit more exposure. I mean, I'm the last person to clamor for more Big Dave on my screen, since I find him absolutely useless, but the fact is he's Orton's next challenger, not fucking Shane McMahon. He should have been in the main event, not being DQed because he ignored a ref's count.
All in all, it was a frustrating Monday night to be a wrestling fan. Hopefully this was a hiccup rather than the norm for the WWE's flagship, and more importantly, I hope this doesn't become the norm for Smackdown and ECW, which right now look extremely promising for the near future.
Last week, RAW seemed fresh, vibrant and ready to sprint towards the summer months with a cast of new additions, a steadily improving WWE Champion and no Triple H to anchor the program down. Talk about a 180 turn. Last night's RAW was boring, plodding and ultimately forgettable.
First thing's first... while it popped the crowd, there was no reason to have a segment that prominently featured Jillian Hall at all. If anything, that singing competition should have been saved for a commercial break, an Easter egg for the live crowd so to speak.
Second, they totally ruined a chance to add more fuel to the fire on the Miz/Cena angle. In fact, they followed my proposed angle almost to the letter... except they didn't have Miz capitalize after Show destroyed Cena. Speaking of that... the beatdown was too slow and boring. I appreciate the WWE trying to add a little gravitas to the program, but it just doesn't work.
Third, what the fuck was going on with William Regal? Was he a face or a heel? Why would you have a heel challenger to MVP talk trash about another one of the heels on the program (The Miz)? For the last two or three months, the WWE has been teasing heel on heel programs, first with Edge and Show, then this past Friday on Smackdown with Edge and Jericho, and now Miz and Regal. While a heel/heel program would be more interesting, I have a feeling the crowd would shit on it or try to turn one of them face. The result of the match, with Regal causing MVP to be counted out, was just fine, and that could be a very interesting program if given the time to shine, but Regal dissing Miz was a WTF moment for me. Very surreal.
Finally... there's the main event business. I had no interest in seeing Shane McMahon again go all Superman on all three members of Legacy, so I went to bed. From all reports, I didn't miss much, since like I expected, Shane McMahon went all Superman on Legacy. A1 poster KoppoKick made an excellent point... do you realize what would happen if they gave someone like MVP the Shane push? He'd be insanely over with the crowd even more than he already is. Instead of him in the thick of challenging Orton, we get him wrestling Dolph Ziggler with one of the cackling buzzards from The View in his corner.
And don't get me started on Vickie Guerrero. She's gone from an entertaining heel accompaniment to Edge to a shrill, annoying WTF-machine. She's become the epitome of the modern authority figure... she has to have all eyes on her and she has to be the one to drive the action, not the wrestlers. Would it have been too much to make a six-man tag match as the main event, which would have given both MVP and Batista... who's only the guy challenging for the WWE Championship at the next PPV a bit more exposure. I mean, I'm the last person to clamor for more Big Dave on my screen, since I find him absolutely useless, but the fact is he's Orton's next challenger, not fucking Shane McMahon. He should have been in the main event, not being DQed because he ignored a ref's count.
All in all, it was a frustrating Monday night to be a wrestling fan. Hopefully this was a hiccup rather than the norm for the WWE's flagship, and more importantly, I hope this doesn't become the norm for Smackdown and ECW, which right now look extremely promising for the near future.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Miz/Cena
Last week on RAW, The Miz set out to make his name as a solo wrestler on the program by calling out John Cena. From both a kayfabed character standpoint and from a storyline standpoint, this is a very, very ballsy move. Kayfabe, of course we know the perils of an unestablished guy calling out the biggest star in the company. Out-of-character is what I'm mainly interested, given how delicate the 'E needs to tread so that they don't ruin Miz in the process.
Last week was a great start. Miz called out an obviously injured Cena, who was not known to have been in the arena until his surprise appearance at the end of the Show/Batista match. He challenged Cena to a match and had the truck even play Cena's music in preparation for him to come out, which he didn't. It made Miz the heel of the night when he claimed to have a 1-0 advantage over Cena.
Without Cena being involved in this pseudo-feud, Miz has gotten over huge in its initial stages. However, the WWE must tread lightly in the coming weeks so as not to totally drop this angle or end up having Miz get crushed by Cena in an instant blowoff that if it does happen could happen as early as tonight. If done correctly, the WWE could have a months-long program on their hands that establishes Miz as a true main event heel and allows him to retain his heat even after Cena defeats him cleanly in the blowoff match. Several things have to happen for that scenario to play out though.
First thing's first, Miz has to be allowed to accumulate heat on Cena over the next few months. Even if it's superficial and Cena's attention is more focused on people like Big Show and Randy Orton, they have to allow Miz to keep playing up the angle that Cena is ducking him and that he continually has an advantage over him.
Second, Miz should always be on the periphery of Cena's stories. Even if Cena is feuding with Show et al., Miz has to become at the very least a temporary heel ally to the guy Cena is feuding with.
Third, whenever Cena and Miz are in the same match, Cena cannot go over Miz cleanly until they're ready to finish the feud. That means in tag matches, Cena can't be pinning Miz for the fall. In singles matches, if Cena wins, it's by DQ, or Miz wins via dubious means.
Finally, and most importantly, Miz has to be protected. No matches against superheavyweights. No matches against Triple H. If he's put in a match where a clean fall has to take place, it needs to be against opponents that he's clearly above so he can win. If he has to lose, it has to be because his cheating backfires, or it's because he loses by DQ.
This may seem like a tall order for a guy who just got out of the tag ranks, but the live crowd responded to him well a week ago, and there's no reason to believe it won't continue to. He was very over as a heel as part of the Mizorrison team, and I fully believe that he was as big a part of that, if not bigger than John Morrison was.
Miz also has been very solid in his solo matches so far this year. Morrison has been touted as the breakout singles star, but Miz and Primo had the far better singles match than Morrison and Carlito did in the build to WrestleMania. Miz was also great in the three way with Morrison and CM Punk for entry into Money in the Bank and in a WWE Draft Night match against Kofi Kingston that ended in DQ. He has all the tools to be a solid main event heel, so I don't really have any doubts that he should get the push outlined above.
Now, if I were booking tonight's RAW, I'd have Miz bait Cena again. This time, Cena comes out mid-promo and tells Miz that despite him being banged up from Backlash, he'll take out Miz and shut him up. Cue the Big Show coming out from the back and destroying Cena before he makes it to the ring. Show rolls Cena into the ring, and Miz hits his finisher on him for the 1-2-3. Miz can then proclaim that he's now 2-0 against Cena, while the announcers play up Big Show's brutal attack.
This does two things. One, it furthers Miz's heel push without generally hurting Cena, and two, it shifts Cena's focus from Miz back to Big Show for the time being. In the rest of the time before Judgement Day, Miz stays in the periphery, although he can keep bringing up his "wins" over Cena. Miz doesn't need to get involved with the Show/Cena feud at Judgement Day, which should end in a schmozzy finish to continue the feud until the ECW-themed PPV (whatever it's going to be called).
Meanwhile, Miz is inserted into, and wins, semi-high profile feuds against names like maybe Kofi Kingston, MVP or even Shawn Michaels. This way, Miz has some momentum going forward and he can hang his hat on a few good wins.
However at One Night Stand/Night of Extreme/(insert hardcore-sounding PPV name here), Miz HAS to be involved in the finish of the Show/Cena match to set up a Miz/Cena PPV match at Great American Bash. I don't think you can afford to drag this feud out longer than that, and I think that GAB is a good enough PPV that you can have this match be a sub-main or even main event.
Of course, Cena would go over clean here, but by this time, Miz would have established himself as a wrestler capable of hanging with a guy like Cena. Afterwards, you hammer the point home by having Miz capture the United States Championship at either Night of Champions or SummerSlam (probably SummerSlam, since NoC could be before GAB on the PPV schedule... too many damn PPVs!) and go onto hold it for a long time, defeating quality opponents on the way before dropping the belt at, say, the Rumble against Evan Bourne for example.
While I don't think that it will play out exactly like I think it should, I do think the WWE has big things planned for The Miz. While my optimism is there, it is guarded, and hopefully, I don't get let down by them blowing off what could be a very good and elevating feud super early. The WWE has gotten a lot better at this over the years, but there's enough anecdotal evidence to say that they might just drop it. That scares me.
However, I'd rather be optimistic, because when Miz says he's a future World Champion in character, I believe it from a realistic standpoint. He's got all the tools, and if this feud is played out right, it'll be his launching pad.
BE JEALOUS!
Last week was a great start. Miz called out an obviously injured Cena, who was not known to have been in the arena until his surprise appearance at the end of the Show/Batista match. He challenged Cena to a match and had the truck even play Cena's music in preparation for him to come out, which he didn't. It made Miz the heel of the night when he claimed to have a 1-0 advantage over Cena.
Without Cena being involved in this pseudo-feud, Miz has gotten over huge in its initial stages. However, the WWE must tread lightly in the coming weeks so as not to totally drop this angle or end up having Miz get crushed by Cena in an instant blowoff that if it does happen could happen as early as tonight. If done correctly, the WWE could have a months-long program on their hands that establishes Miz as a true main event heel and allows him to retain his heat even after Cena defeats him cleanly in the blowoff match. Several things have to happen for that scenario to play out though.
First thing's first, Miz has to be allowed to accumulate heat on Cena over the next few months. Even if it's superficial and Cena's attention is more focused on people like Big Show and Randy Orton, they have to allow Miz to keep playing up the angle that Cena is ducking him and that he continually has an advantage over him.
Second, Miz should always be on the periphery of Cena's stories. Even if Cena is feuding with Show et al., Miz has to become at the very least a temporary heel ally to the guy Cena is feuding with.
Third, whenever Cena and Miz are in the same match, Cena cannot go over Miz cleanly until they're ready to finish the feud. That means in tag matches, Cena can't be pinning Miz for the fall. In singles matches, if Cena wins, it's by DQ, or Miz wins via dubious means.
Finally, and most importantly, Miz has to be protected. No matches against superheavyweights. No matches against Triple H. If he's put in a match where a clean fall has to take place, it needs to be against opponents that he's clearly above so he can win. If he has to lose, it has to be because his cheating backfires, or it's because he loses by DQ.
This may seem like a tall order for a guy who just got out of the tag ranks, but the live crowd responded to him well a week ago, and there's no reason to believe it won't continue to. He was very over as a heel as part of the Mizorrison team, and I fully believe that he was as big a part of that, if not bigger than John Morrison was.
Miz also has been very solid in his solo matches so far this year. Morrison has been touted as the breakout singles star, but Miz and Primo had the far better singles match than Morrison and Carlito did in the build to WrestleMania. Miz was also great in the three way with Morrison and CM Punk for entry into Money in the Bank and in a WWE Draft Night match against Kofi Kingston that ended in DQ. He has all the tools to be a solid main event heel, so I don't really have any doubts that he should get the push outlined above.
Now, if I were booking tonight's RAW, I'd have Miz bait Cena again. This time, Cena comes out mid-promo and tells Miz that despite him being banged up from Backlash, he'll take out Miz and shut him up. Cue the Big Show coming out from the back and destroying Cena before he makes it to the ring. Show rolls Cena into the ring, and Miz hits his finisher on him for the 1-2-3. Miz can then proclaim that he's now 2-0 against Cena, while the announcers play up Big Show's brutal attack.
This does two things. One, it furthers Miz's heel push without generally hurting Cena, and two, it shifts Cena's focus from Miz back to Big Show for the time being. In the rest of the time before Judgement Day, Miz stays in the periphery, although he can keep bringing up his "wins" over Cena. Miz doesn't need to get involved with the Show/Cena feud at Judgement Day, which should end in a schmozzy finish to continue the feud until the ECW-themed PPV (whatever it's going to be called).
Meanwhile, Miz is inserted into, and wins, semi-high profile feuds against names like maybe Kofi Kingston, MVP or even Shawn Michaels. This way, Miz has some momentum going forward and he can hang his hat on a few good wins.
However at One Night Stand/Night of Extreme/(insert hardcore-sounding PPV name here), Miz HAS to be involved in the finish of the Show/Cena match to set up a Miz/Cena PPV match at Great American Bash. I don't think you can afford to drag this feud out longer than that, and I think that GAB is a good enough PPV that you can have this match be a sub-main or even main event.
Of course, Cena would go over clean here, but by this time, Miz would have established himself as a wrestler capable of hanging with a guy like Cena. Afterwards, you hammer the point home by having Miz capture the United States Championship at either Night of Champions or SummerSlam (probably SummerSlam, since NoC could be before GAB on the PPV schedule... too many damn PPVs!) and go onto hold it for a long time, defeating quality opponents on the way before dropping the belt at, say, the Rumble against Evan Bourne for example.
While I don't think that it will play out exactly like I think it should, I do think the WWE has big things planned for The Miz. While my optimism is there, it is guarded, and hopefully, I don't get let down by them blowing off what could be a very good and elevating feud super early. The WWE has gotten a lot better at this over the years, but there's enough anecdotal evidence to say that they might just drop it. That scares me.
However, I'd rather be optimistic, because when Miz says he's a future World Champion in character, I believe it from a realistic standpoint. He's got all the tools, and if this feud is played out right, it'll be his launching pad.
BE JEALOUS!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Old-School Show Review: WCW Uncensored '96
Me and a few friends (one of them being commenter Sean) set out to watch some old wreslting tapes tonight. Out of the bunch, I picked out WCW Uncensored '96 from Tupelo, MS, which was one of the last WCW shows before the nWo really began. The match-listing on the back looked appealing because there was an Eddie Guerrero match, a match between Lord Steven Regal and the Belfast Bruiser (whom I correctly assumed was Finlay) and a Chicago street fight between the Road Warriors and Sting and Booker T. Plus the main event sounded like it could have been fun. The MegaPowers in a weird sort of Doomsday Gauntlet thing against a list of guys that included Kevin Sullivan, Arn Anderson and Ric Flair. Could have been good.
Yeah, it wasn't any good. I was wrong.
First problem was the announce booth. The three-man booth is very hard to pull off well. WCW was a big proponent of the three-man booth for most of the time when it was on top, and it's no surprise that even when it was beating the WWF in the ratings and in critical praise, the broadcasting still paled to whatever booth the WWF had, as long as that booth didn't contain Kevin Kelly, Michael Cole or Jonathan Coachman. Of course, when two-thirds of your booth sucks and shouldn't be announcing anyway, and the other guy is a HoFer clearly phoning it in, it's a recipe for disaster.
The three men I'm referring to are Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan. Heenan is one of the greatest, if not the greatest, heel color commentator of all-time, but you'd never know it if you just watched him in WCW. It's clear that he's forcing lines all the time, and when he's doing his schtick, it's either no-sold or Schiavone painfully tries to channel Gorilla Monsoon and half-heartedly say "just stop it." Rhodes is so mushmouthed that I swear that if you stuffed his mouth full of cotton balls, it'd sound perfectly clear. He's entertaining as hell to watch if just to make fun of him, but from a technical standpoint, not only can't you understand him, what you can understand is so inane and banal.
Then there's Schiavone, who could very well be the worst PBP man ever. He's not as bad here, since most of what submarined him in the later years was the constant proclaming that "such and such an event is the greatest thing in the history of our sport" and talking over cruiserweight matches and other "non-essential" matches with talk about what happened with the nWo or how great the main event was going to be for that Nitro or PPV. Still, he doesn't have an ear for direction or flow of a match, and he often miscalls moves. It's awful.
Now, onto the matches themselves, the first one was Konnan, dressed in what I can only describe were his old Max Moon tights put through a paper shredder, taking on a new-to-America Eddie Guerrero. I was really looking forward to this match, and it was okay, but both guys were really not crisp in their spots. There were some cool moves and back and forths, and I really appreciate that they were working with the back-and-forth submissions and counters, but a lot of them were slightly botched enough that you could see that they were off a half-step at least. One of the bright spots in the match was Konnan giving Eddie the Black Tiger Bomb, or a sitout Razor's Edge for those who've never seen Eddie do one. The announcers kinda just shrugged this off as just another powerbomb. To the untrained ear, it would have been okay, but if Matt Striker were calling this match, he definitely would have noted that Konnan was taking a page out of Eddie Guerrero's playbook. That's what separates a good announcer from an average or bad one. They don't just call moves or half-heartedly sell a story. They actually give you insight.
Anyway, Konnan won after a confusing finish where there was a hurricanrana attempt that ended in Eddie selling a lowblow that Konnan could only have pulled off with his head. It was a very disappointing finish to a disappointing match, given who was in it. I don't care what anyone says, before Konnan became immobile, he was a decent-at-worst wrestler.
Next up, it was Lord Steven Regal in his full blueblood Englishman glory taking on a very different looking Fit Finlay, billed as the "Belfast Bruiser." I swear, Finlay had one of the most hideous wrestling haircuts ever. It was a hyper-mullet. Anyway, the match was a very fun brawl, a potato fest between two of the edgiest workers in the company, two of the most misused workers in the company. It's amazing how both Regal and Finlay were in WCW for the length of time they were and never once sniffed as much exposure that they've gotten from the WWE in this past decade alone. Of course, they had to go and ruin the best match on the card with a run-in finish from Dave Taylor and "Robert Eaton". Amazing how they tried to reinvent one-half of the Midnight Express into a blue-blood heel. Fuck if wrestling promoters aren't stupid sometimes.
The next three matches were nondescript in their sucktitude, so we fast-fowarded through them. The lowlights included early DDP's frizz-fro hair cut, Ed Leslie's nightmare-inducing tights and The Giant finishing off some fat guy with the big boot and a legdrop.
We got into the last two matches, both of which were clusterfucks with annoying camera angles. The first one was a big disappointment given who was in it. One would expect Sting, Booker T and the Road Warriors to have a fun "Chicago Street Fight" styled brawl, but instead, it was boring, plodding and at the end, too overbooked. (and at least the WWF had the common decency to have their Road Warrior Chicago Street Fight, y'know, IN CHICAGO and not Tupleo) The action barely moved out of the ring area, and the split-screen featuring action in two different areas was hard to follow and annoying.
The main event was worse. First, the structure itself was a monstrosity of idiocy that was set up AWAY from the main ring and AWAY from the lines of sight of most people in the crowd. It's hard enough to see through a chain-link fence sitting in the mezzanine section when it's right in front of you. Imagine that when you have to turn your head towards the entrance and squint just to see the outline of Hogan's yellow boot.
They spent a good five minutes explaining how Savage and Hogan were going to have to pin or make the guys in the one cage submit before they could move onto the next one, and then during the match, Heenan said that there were no trap doors. So what happens in the first cage? Hogan and Savage escape through trap door. The guys in the first cage, Ric Flair and Arn Anderson, are supposedly eliminated then... except both of them come back and figure into the finish of the match. Then you have Hogan and Sullivan both leaving the cage, and the announcers not knowing whether that meant both of them had won, or lost or whatever. A good portion of the match happened OUTSIDE of the structure and even into the main ring. The final two competitors in the match, Tiny "Z Gangster" Lister and some fat guy called Ultimate Solution, didn't even come out until the match was almost over. Hogan and Savage countered being outnumbered 5-2 in the final cage by using powder and frying pans that Leslie brought to the cage for them. Not that there'd be anything wrong with using weapons but... frying pans? Hogan also busted out like a million eye-rakes. I thought he was the face here?
And to top things off, Lex Luger puts on a loaded glove to knock out Savage, who's being held by Flair. Luger winds up and swings. Savage ducks and Luger stops short of Flair. He then goes "fuck it" and nails Flair in the face. Then, Hogan and Savage both go to leave the cage to win the match, y'know, the cage that they didn't get into after brawling around OUTSIDE OF IT for a good 20 minutes, until Savage remembers, "Oh shit, I think I was supposed to pin somebody". So he scurries back into the ring to pin Flair, who by the account of the announcers had already been eliminated, and win the match while everyone else in the cage looked on like slack-jawed yokels.
I don't know why we even watched it as long as we did given how bad it was. I guess it was like watching a trainwreck.
One thing was clear though. WCW clearly needed a swift kick in the ass at this point to get back on track. Luckily for them, they were about a month or two away from getting Scott Hall and Kevin Nash on their television programming to change the American wrestling landscape forever. Although they would eventually fuck that up too due to the same bad booking and egos running wild, it worked as a quick fix that had a lot of staying power for them. Still, it was no excuse for putting on a lousy PPV like that. If I had bought that, I would have written a letter to Ted Turner himself asking for a refund.
I mean, when you get a bad match out of Eddie Guerrero against a quality opponent... you know it's time to regroup.
Yeah, it wasn't any good. I was wrong.
First problem was the announce booth. The three-man booth is very hard to pull off well. WCW was a big proponent of the three-man booth for most of the time when it was on top, and it's no surprise that even when it was beating the WWF in the ratings and in critical praise, the broadcasting still paled to whatever booth the WWF had, as long as that booth didn't contain Kevin Kelly, Michael Cole or Jonathan Coachman. Of course, when two-thirds of your booth sucks and shouldn't be announcing anyway, and the other guy is a HoFer clearly phoning it in, it's a recipe for disaster.
The three men I'm referring to are Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan. Heenan is one of the greatest, if not the greatest, heel color commentator of all-time, but you'd never know it if you just watched him in WCW. It's clear that he's forcing lines all the time, and when he's doing his schtick, it's either no-sold or Schiavone painfully tries to channel Gorilla Monsoon and half-heartedly say "just stop it." Rhodes is so mushmouthed that I swear that if you stuffed his mouth full of cotton balls, it'd sound perfectly clear. He's entertaining as hell to watch if just to make fun of him, but from a technical standpoint, not only can't you understand him, what you can understand is so inane and banal.
Then there's Schiavone, who could very well be the worst PBP man ever. He's not as bad here, since most of what submarined him in the later years was the constant proclaming that "such and such an event is the greatest thing in the history of our sport" and talking over cruiserweight matches and other "non-essential" matches with talk about what happened with the nWo or how great the main event was going to be for that Nitro or PPV. Still, he doesn't have an ear for direction or flow of a match, and he often miscalls moves. It's awful.
Now, onto the matches themselves, the first one was Konnan, dressed in what I can only describe were his old Max Moon tights put through a paper shredder, taking on a new-to-America Eddie Guerrero. I was really looking forward to this match, and it was okay, but both guys were really not crisp in their spots. There were some cool moves and back and forths, and I really appreciate that they were working with the back-and-forth submissions and counters, but a lot of them were slightly botched enough that you could see that they were off a half-step at least. One of the bright spots in the match was Konnan giving Eddie the Black Tiger Bomb, or a sitout Razor's Edge for those who've never seen Eddie do one. The announcers kinda just shrugged this off as just another powerbomb. To the untrained ear, it would have been okay, but if Matt Striker were calling this match, he definitely would have noted that Konnan was taking a page out of Eddie Guerrero's playbook. That's what separates a good announcer from an average or bad one. They don't just call moves or half-heartedly sell a story. They actually give you insight.
Anyway, Konnan won after a confusing finish where there was a hurricanrana attempt that ended in Eddie selling a lowblow that Konnan could only have pulled off with his head. It was a very disappointing finish to a disappointing match, given who was in it. I don't care what anyone says, before Konnan became immobile, he was a decent-at-worst wrestler.
Next up, it was Lord Steven Regal in his full blueblood Englishman glory taking on a very different looking Fit Finlay, billed as the "Belfast Bruiser." I swear, Finlay had one of the most hideous wrestling haircuts ever. It was a hyper-mullet. Anyway, the match was a very fun brawl, a potato fest between two of the edgiest workers in the company, two of the most misused workers in the company. It's amazing how both Regal and Finlay were in WCW for the length of time they were and never once sniffed as much exposure that they've gotten from the WWE in this past decade alone. Of course, they had to go and ruin the best match on the card with a run-in finish from Dave Taylor and "Robert Eaton". Amazing how they tried to reinvent one-half of the Midnight Express into a blue-blood heel. Fuck if wrestling promoters aren't stupid sometimes.
The next three matches were nondescript in their sucktitude, so we fast-fowarded through them. The lowlights included early DDP's frizz-fro hair cut, Ed Leslie's nightmare-inducing tights and The Giant finishing off some fat guy with the big boot and a legdrop.
We got into the last two matches, both of which were clusterfucks with annoying camera angles. The first one was a big disappointment given who was in it. One would expect Sting, Booker T and the Road Warriors to have a fun "Chicago Street Fight" styled brawl, but instead, it was boring, plodding and at the end, too overbooked. (and at least the WWF had the common decency to have their Road Warrior Chicago Street Fight, y'know, IN CHICAGO and not Tupleo) The action barely moved out of the ring area, and the split-screen featuring action in two different areas was hard to follow and annoying.
The main event was worse. First, the structure itself was a monstrosity of idiocy that was set up AWAY from the main ring and AWAY from the lines of sight of most people in the crowd. It's hard enough to see through a chain-link fence sitting in the mezzanine section when it's right in front of you. Imagine that when you have to turn your head towards the entrance and squint just to see the outline of Hogan's yellow boot.
They spent a good five minutes explaining how Savage and Hogan were going to have to pin or make the guys in the one cage submit before they could move onto the next one, and then during the match, Heenan said that there were no trap doors. So what happens in the first cage? Hogan and Savage escape through trap door. The guys in the first cage, Ric Flair and Arn Anderson, are supposedly eliminated then... except both of them come back and figure into the finish of the match. Then you have Hogan and Sullivan both leaving the cage, and the announcers not knowing whether that meant both of them had won, or lost or whatever. A good portion of the match happened OUTSIDE of the structure and even into the main ring. The final two competitors in the match, Tiny "Z Gangster" Lister and some fat guy called Ultimate Solution, didn't even come out until the match was almost over. Hogan and Savage countered being outnumbered 5-2 in the final cage by using powder and frying pans that Leslie brought to the cage for them. Not that there'd be anything wrong with using weapons but... frying pans? Hogan also busted out like a million eye-rakes. I thought he was the face here?
And to top things off, Lex Luger puts on a loaded glove to knock out Savage, who's being held by Flair. Luger winds up and swings. Savage ducks and Luger stops short of Flair. He then goes "fuck it" and nails Flair in the face. Then, Hogan and Savage both go to leave the cage to win the match, y'know, the cage that they didn't get into after brawling around OUTSIDE OF IT for a good 20 minutes, until Savage remembers, "Oh shit, I think I was supposed to pin somebody". So he scurries back into the ring to pin Flair, who by the account of the announcers had already been eliminated, and win the match while everyone else in the cage looked on like slack-jawed yokels.
I don't know why we even watched it as long as we did given how bad it was. I guess it was like watching a trainwreck.
One thing was clear though. WCW clearly needed a swift kick in the ass at this point to get back on track. Luckily for them, they were about a month or two away from getting Scott Hall and Kevin Nash on their television programming to change the American wrestling landscape forever. Although they would eventually fuck that up too due to the same bad booking and egos running wild, it worked as a quick fix that had a lot of staying power for them. Still, it was no excuse for putting on a lousy PPV like that. If I had bought that, I would have written a letter to Ted Turner himself asking for a refund.
I mean, when you get a bad match out of Eddie Guerrero against a quality opponent... you know it's time to regroup.
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