This is why Chikara is fast becoming my favorite promotion of all-time.
Banner by Billy Dunlevy
Friday, July 31, 2009
Create-a-Wrestler Is Full of Awesome and Win
As you know, I discovered Chikara this year and I can't get enough. I recently subscribed to their semi-official Youtube channel and came across this gem on their latest Podcast-a-Go-Go, which features a clip from a Grizzly Redwood/Create-a-Wrestler match from 2/20 in Reading. The isolated part I have for you features CAW giving Redwood a flapjack into a pile of flapjacks:
This is why Chikara is fast becoming my favorite promotion of all-time.
This is why Chikara is fast becoming my favorite promotion of all-time.
Dutch Mantell and Savio Vega Gone from TNA
Courtesy of Jason Powell and Dot Net
Huge, huge news for TNA, especially given that Mantell carried a lot of weight with the creative team and thus was responsible for a lot of the asinine booking that TNA was featuring over the last few months. I can only speculate who'd be next, but given everything that's been going on with TNA for the last few weeks, I suspect they'll be Jeff Jarrett allies. Here's where we all get into a prayer circle and hope that Vince Russo is considered a Jarrett ally.
Huge, huge news for TNA, especially given that Mantell carried a lot of weight with the creative team and thus was responsible for a lot of the asinine booking that TNA was featuring over the last few months. I can only speculate who'd be next, but given everything that's been going on with TNA for the last few weeks, I suspect they'll be Jeff Jarrett allies. Here's where we all get into a prayer circle and hope that Vince Russo is considered a Jarrett ally.
Friday Five: Super Heavyweights
A 180 turn from the cruiserweight division, the guys who are super-huge, be it because of height or weight:
1. Who is the best big man worker you've ever seen?
2. How big is too big?
3. Bob and Crash Holly gimmick having them as "superheavyweights". Comedic classic or insulting to the intelligence?
4. Aside from Andre the Giant, who is the most iconic big man in wrestling history?
5. Does the presence of superheavyweight wrestlers hurt the "sport's" credibility?
1. Who is the best big man worker you've ever seen?
2. How big is too big?
3. Bob and Crash Holly gimmick having them as "superheavyweights". Comedic classic or insulting to the intelligence?
4. Aside from Andre the Giant, who is the most iconic big man in wrestling history?
5. Does the presence of superheavyweight wrestlers hurt the "sport's" credibility?
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Hey, look, wrestling on a wrestling program! What a novel concept!
I had my DVR playback working tonight with Tuesday's ECW and tonight's Superstars (watching an hour late after enjoying Iron Chef America with my wife, who is not a wrestling fan), and I have to say, both programs are benefitting from not being the WWE's "main" programs. A1 poster and Wrestling Observer subscriber bryce said that Dave Meltzer and Brian Alvarez often talk about why those two shows and to an extent Smackdown get the "old-school wrestling" build. RAW often gets overproduced, and thus "creative" doesn't have the time to come up with sports entertainment stuff for the other three shows.
Thank God for that.
While RAW gets all the attention, ECW and Superstars often contain wrestling action jam-packed into less than an hour's worth of run-time. Some of the matches are clunkers, but more often than not, especially on ECW, where experienced veterans such as Goldust and William Regal play jobber-to-the-up-and-comers, you're getting solid wrestling action that's better than some of their PPV matches.
This week, ECW gave us a lineup featuring Paul Burchill against Tyler Reks, Kozlov in a squash match, Goldust versus Sheamus O'Shaughnessy and a main event of Christian against Zach Ryder. Superstars had a surprisingly star-stocked lineup of John Morrison against Tyson Kidd, Yoshi Tatsu taking on Regal and the WWE Champion, Randy Orton, versus Primo Colon. None of them were bad matches. It was awesome, really, to have two hours full of matches with guys you may not get to see showcased on the bigger shows and to have them feel important without the trappings of the overarching main event story bogging it down.
Sure, RAW can have good-to-great matches at times. I look to MVP/Orton, Cena/Jericho, Jericho/Batista, the 8-man tag match featuring Ricky Steamboat right after WM and the Orton/Trips LMS match as evidence. However, there's no guarantee that you won't be subjected to Vince and company trying to pass off their lame comedy as the between-match filler. You do get the filler on ECW, but a lot of it is surprisingly old-school, featuring promos and some backstage stuff which is mostly serious in nature. Oh yeah, and Abraham Washington, but let's pretend he doesn't exist this week, just for the sake of my blood pressure.
The standout contest to me was ECW's main event, Christian taking on Zach Ryder. I can't tell you how much of a fan I've become of Ryder's character over the weeks, and with him finally stepping away from Edge's shadow, he's shown he can actually work in the ring. Ryder plays such a cheap heat gimmick, but he plays it so well. I love how he calls his opponent "bro" during the match too. Of course, Christian himself is a world-class worker, and I don't think I've ever seen him in a bad match where it was his fault. Put the two together, and you've got a great TV main.
I mean, some of the stuff Ryder pulled out was amazing. For example, towards the end of the match, he busted out a flying leg-lariat/Rocker Dropper type move where he got serious air. Christian may not be Diesel in height but he's also certainly not a Mexican mini-estrella either. Christian stepped it up a notch too, which not only shows the respect he had for the main event position and for Ryder, but in character really helped to legitimize Ryder as a main event player on Tuesday nights.
Even if RAW is in the shitter, I'm glad that the WWE hasn't completely abandoned wrestling and that I'll have ECW and Superstars for now to sate my thirst for accessible wrestling on a weekly basis. I bitch a lot about the WWE, but they do give you old-school wrestling, and I'm glad that as the market leader, they give quality on a consistent basis. I don't have to long for Comcast to pick up HDNet.
Although that won't stop me from longing and actually complaining to Comcast. You can never have too much of a good thing, but really, ROH is a much different product than the WWE, and that's a good thing.
Thank God for that.
While RAW gets all the attention, ECW and Superstars often contain wrestling action jam-packed into less than an hour's worth of run-time. Some of the matches are clunkers, but more often than not, especially on ECW, where experienced veterans such as Goldust and William Regal play jobber-to-the-up-and-comers, you're getting solid wrestling action that's better than some of their PPV matches.
This week, ECW gave us a lineup featuring Paul Burchill against Tyler Reks, Kozlov in a squash match, Goldust versus Sheamus O'Shaughnessy and a main event of Christian against Zach Ryder. Superstars had a surprisingly star-stocked lineup of John Morrison against Tyson Kidd, Yoshi Tatsu taking on Regal and the WWE Champion, Randy Orton, versus Primo Colon. None of them were bad matches. It was awesome, really, to have two hours full of matches with guys you may not get to see showcased on the bigger shows and to have them feel important without the trappings of the overarching main event story bogging it down.
Sure, RAW can have good-to-great matches at times. I look to MVP/Orton, Cena/Jericho, Jericho/Batista, the 8-man tag match featuring Ricky Steamboat right after WM and the Orton/Trips LMS match as evidence. However, there's no guarantee that you won't be subjected to Vince and company trying to pass off their lame comedy as the between-match filler. You do get the filler on ECW, but a lot of it is surprisingly old-school, featuring promos and some backstage stuff which is mostly serious in nature. Oh yeah, and Abraham Washington, but let's pretend he doesn't exist this week, just for the sake of my blood pressure.
The standout contest to me was ECW's main event, Christian taking on Zach Ryder. I can't tell you how much of a fan I've become of Ryder's character over the weeks, and with him finally stepping away from Edge's shadow, he's shown he can actually work in the ring. Ryder plays such a cheap heat gimmick, but he plays it so well. I love how he calls his opponent "bro" during the match too. Of course, Christian himself is a world-class worker, and I don't think I've ever seen him in a bad match where it was his fault. Put the two together, and you've got a great TV main.
I mean, some of the stuff Ryder pulled out was amazing. For example, towards the end of the match, he busted out a flying leg-lariat/Rocker Dropper type move where he got serious air. Christian may not be Diesel in height but he's also certainly not a Mexican mini-estrella either. Christian stepped it up a notch too, which not only shows the respect he had for the main event position and for Ryder, but in character really helped to legitimize Ryder as a main event player on Tuesday nights.
Even if RAW is in the shitter, I'm glad that the WWE hasn't completely abandoned wrestling and that I'll have ECW and Superstars for now to sate my thirst for accessible wrestling on a weekly basis. I bitch a lot about the WWE, but they do give you old-school wrestling, and I'm glad that as the market leader, they give quality on a consistent basis. I don't have to long for Comcast to pick up HDNet.
Although that won't stop me from longing and actually complaining to Comcast. You can never have too much of a good thing, but really, ROH is a much different product than the WWE, and that's a good thing.
Brian Kendrick Future Endeavored
The WWE would like to wish Brian well in all his future endeavors
It took someone blind not to see that coming after weeks of either not being used or being used as humiliating jobber fodder. The last two weeks were especially shameful, where Kendrick got jobbed out to the 50-something announcer and then 1HKOed by Kofi Kingston while jabbing with said announcer. Yeah, that'll really get him over, Vince, you schoolyard bully.
All that being said, Kendrick was never a fit for the WWE, as his chronic shortness was coupled with his lanky frame and seeming reluctance to use steroids to bulk himself up (that last part is purely conjecture on my part) made him a misfit in the land of statuesque bodies and tall, beautiful people. TNA would accomodate him, but only because he used to hold gold in the WWE. In a perfect world, Kendrick shows up to the next set of ROH TV tapings and challenges Generico or Kenny King or one of the other smaller high-flying types. Oooh, or maybe he ends up working for Chikara or even Dragon Gate USA. The possibilities are endless, which is probably more than you could have ever said for him in the WWE in the last six months.
It took someone blind not to see that coming after weeks of either not being used or being used as humiliating jobber fodder. The last two weeks were especially shameful, where Kendrick got jobbed out to the 50-something announcer and then 1HKOed by Kofi Kingston while jabbing with said announcer. Yeah, that'll really get him over, Vince, you schoolyard bully.
All that being said, Kendrick was never a fit for the WWE, as his chronic shortness was coupled with his lanky frame and seeming reluctance to use steroids to bulk himself up (that last part is purely conjecture on my part) made him a misfit in the land of statuesque bodies and tall, beautiful people. TNA would accomodate him, but only because he used to hold gold in the WWE. In a perfect world, Kendrick shows up to the next set of ROH TV tapings and challenges Generico or Kenny King or one of the other smaller high-flying types. Oooh, or maybe he ends up working for Chikara or even Dragon Gate USA. The possibilities are endless, which is probably more than you could have ever said for him in the WWE in the last six months.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
The latest on the Jarrett/Angle situation in TNA
I found this secondhand information at A1 from poster Zandrax, a Torch subscriber, who relayed this information from the latest newsletter. Basically, it's rumored that Jarrett is as good as gone, although some believe that he'll be back. There are "mixed opinions", whatever that means. The signals are just as garbled over Vince Russo. Some think he'll be out as well, while others think he'll get the head booking job if Jarrett doesn't come back. *shudder* Other guys that are as good as gone include Savio Vega and Dutch Mantell, which would be good for the company should they go. Anyone who's part of the old guard of bookers needs to be enemaed out, but at this point, there's nothing but speculation on this situation. It's really annoying for people looking for hard news, but given that TNA is a private company, they can keep things a bit more guarded than the publicly-traded WWE can.
Another really interesting TNA-related thing that has come up regards Hollywood producer and writer Jeff Katz. He's joining forces with TNA. This is huge, and you should care about this. Why? Because he's actually the first person (second if you count Kurt Angle) involved with the company to publicly say that it needs an enema and a reboot. Whether he can actually do anything or not remains to be seen, but if he takes an active approach in trying to right the ship, it could mean good things, and it could signal that maybe the Jarrett/Russo days really are over.
Another really interesting TNA-related thing that has come up regards Hollywood producer and writer Jeff Katz. He's joining forces with TNA. This is huge, and you should care about this. Why? Because he's actually the first person (second if you count Kurt Angle) involved with the company to publicly say that it needs an enema and a reboot. Whether he can actually do anything or not remains to be seen, but if he takes an active approach in trying to right the ship, it could mean good things, and it could signal that maybe the Jarrett/Russo days really are over.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Fixing TNA: The X-Division and Tag Teams
One thing that has bugged me about TNA throughout its existance has been the X-Division. No, not the wrestling or wrestlers, those aspects have been fine for the most part; however, they made it a point to create a separate "division" and not define any different rules. What makes the X-Division that much different from, say, any old midcard title contenders' list? It may seem like a minor annoyance, but it's that lack of attention to detail that just compounds the bigger problems, which for a fed like TNA, isn't good to begin with. So why don't we start by defining the X-Division, shall we?
After the jump...The X-Division will go from TNA's de facto midcard talent dump to actually having rules of its own. When the action is in the ring, the rules are strictly enforced. Five counts are strictly enforced, rope breaks, no closed fists, undressed turnbuckles are an automatic match stoppage, etc. Out of the ring, anything goes though. No DQs when out of the ring, no countouts. However, a match can only finish inside of the ring. Yeah, it sounds simplistic, but has there ever really been a set of rules like that? Probably not. Aaaaanyway, now that the division has been defined, it's time to define the roster.
Basically, the goal is to get together a roster that is credible enough that the announcers can sell the division as on par with the World Championship division and that the fans and analysts can credibly believe that it's on par with the North American/upper midcard without having to mix the two too much. Of course, if, say, Homicide or someone get over huge, they can intermingle. The divisions wouldn't be set in stone, but you'd have guys that for a time are really "X-division" guys and then guys who are "North American" guys. With that being said, here's the roster:
X-Division Wrestlers: Homicide, Bryan Danielson, Austin Aries, Kenny Omega, Elijah Burke, Consequences Creed, El Generico, Delirious, Shark Boy, Suicide, Tyler Black, Kevin Steen
This might seem like a fridge-raid on the ROH/PWG crowd with a few guys sprinkled in, but I think this is the group that brings the X-Division back to the prominence it had with Samoa Joe, AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels all feuding over the belt. Basically, you have a mix of some of the guys who are there already (Homicide, Suicide, Shark Boy, Consequences), sprinkle in one guy that the WWE really whiffed on (Burke) and then supplement it with guys from the indies who can bring something unique to the table.
Danielson and Aries give the division gravitas with the indie and hardcore wrestling fans, which is really who TNA should be going after in the first place. They're pretty much the cream of the crop when it comes to indie main eventers, well, outside of Necro Butcher and Claudio Castagnioli, but they're also on board in the NA division, and nothing says they can't float back and forth between "classes" either. Danielson as the crown jewel for the X-Division, coming in with the moniker and character of being the best wrestler in the world today, automatically gives the announcers a selling point that puts the X-Division "in-character" on par with the World Championship. Danielson can also work both sides of the fence, working heel against gimmicky guys like Suicide, Omega and Generico, and assuming a natural face role when put up against long-time rival Aries
You know my very high opinion of Aries, and really, given his insane charisma, he could be the number one heel in TNA within two weeks if they really let him loose. In a company looking to differentiate from having nothing but statuesque musclefucks in the catbird seat, Aries is the perfect poster child. He's short, but he's lean, can wrestle and has as much personality as guys like Jericho, Piper, Savage and Cena.
Omega is quirky, but in wrestling, quirky works sometimes. I mean, remember when Saturn got over by acting like a amnesiac, hanging around a mop and saying "You're welcome" all the time? If that elicited even one laugh, then this:
...and this:
...and this:
...and this:
...and everything else this guy does would make him so over that audiences' eyes would collectively bleed due to the sheer and utter awesomeness being perpetrated.
Whereas Omega would be over on just quirky awesomeness, El Generico would provide sheer likeability and face charisma. The way he carries himself in the ring makes you want to cheer him, even if you've never seen him before or even know his name. Plus, he's got a wicked fucking awesome finisher. His indie tag team partner, Kevin Steen, is pretty much what Samoa Joe was in the X-Division, only in my estimation, better both in ring presence and workrate. Plus, they could tag together in a pinch if they've got nothing better to do at the moment.
Elijah Burke is one guy that the WWE missed the boat on it seems. Many people raved over him; I barely got to watch him, but what I saw was pretty good. I'll admit this though. I just don't get Kofi Kingston though. I mean, he's not horrible, but he seems so bland at times, like he just kicks and acts happy. I have to wonder what Burke could have done given Kingston's push. Oh well, the WWE's loss will be my TNA's gain.
Delirious and Tyler Black round out the roster. Both guys ooze strange charisma, but in different ways. Delirious is more comedic with his outlandish ring attire, gibberish-speak (even so he's still better on the mic than Jeff Hardy!) and spastic ring movements, while Black plays up the goth-emo more with his srs bsnss move names and black and red attire motif. Both guys could be serious stars if given the chance, and I'd take that risk.
Next up is the tag team division. TNA's tag division as-is is better than the WWE's but that's not really all that hard to be. It can be better. The best thing is that they do have a good base, but a base that needs to be allowed to breathe without the fucking Dudley Boys stifling them. Aaaanyway...
Tag Team Wrestlers: Motor City Machine Guns, Beer Money Inc., The British Invasion, The Young Bucks, The American Wolves, Da Soul Touchaz
Again, TNA has a decent base. Beer Money is over, the MCMGs are talented and the British Invasion have promise. Three tag teams are good, but for the division to really take the lead among the mainstream, it could use a few more to challenge and amaze.
Enter the Young Bucks, the American Wolves and Da Soul Touchaz. The American Wolves, Eddy Edwards and Davey Richards, are ROH's current Tag Team Champions and indie darlings, but the Young Bucks and Soul Touchaz are more on the unknown side. The Bucks are a team of brothers, Nick and Matt Jackson, who resemble a younger Hardy Boyz in look. The difference between them and the Hardyz? Well, both of them are better workers than Jeff for one, and they actually wear real ring attire instead of what you'd probably find at Goodwill. If you want a taste as to what they can do, order the DGUSA PPV and witness what will probably end up being my match of the year for 2009: The Bucks against CIMA and Susumu Yokosuku.
Da Soul Touchaz are based out of Chicago's Elite Pro Wrestling. I saw them work King of Trios night one, and they were a pretty good, kinetic tag team with a real sense of fun about them. Plus, it would give TNA an in in Chicagoland.
The final installment will cover the Knockouts and the loose ends.
After the jump...The X-Division will go from TNA's de facto midcard talent dump to actually having rules of its own. When the action is in the ring, the rules are strictly enforced. Five counts are strictly enforced, rope breaks, no closed fists, undressed turnbuckles are an automatic match stoppage, etc. Out of the ring, anything goes though. No DQs when out of the ring, no countouts. However, a match can only finish inside of the ring. Yeah, it sounds simplistic, but has there ever really been a set of rules like that? Probably not. Aaaaanyway, now that the division has been defined, it's time to define the roster.
Basically, the goal is to get together a roster that is credible enough that the announcers can sell the division as on par with the World Championship division and that the fans and analysts can credibly believe that it's on par with the North American/upper midcard without having to mix the two too much. Of course, if, say, Homicide or someone get over huge, they can intermingle. The divisions wouldn't be set in stone, but you'd have guys that for a time are really "X-division" guys and then guys who are "North American" guys. With that being said, here's the roster:
X-Division Wrestlers: Homicide, Bryan Danielson, Austin Aries, Kenny Omega, Elijah Burke, Consequences Creed, El Generico, Delirious, Shark Boy, Suicide, Tyler Black, Kevin Steen
This might seem like a fridge-raid on the ROH/PWG crowd with a few guys sprinkled in, but I think this is the group that brings the X-Division back to the prominence it had with Samoa Joe, AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels all feuding over the belt. Basically, you have a mix of some of the guys who are there already (Homicide, Suicide, Shark Boy, Consequences), sprinkle in one guy that the WWE really whiffed on (Burke) and then supplement it with guys from the indies who can bring something unique to the table.
Danielson and Aries give the division gravitas with the indie and hardcore wrestling fans, which is really who TNA should be going after in the first place. They're pretty much the cream of the crop when it comes to indie main eventers, well, outside of Necro Butcher and Claudio Castagnioli, but they're also on board in the NA division, and nothing says they can't float back and forth between "classes" either. Danielson as the crown jewel for the X-Division, coming in with the moniker and character of being the best wrestler in the world today, automatically gives the announcers a selling point that puts the X-Division "in-character" on par with the World Championship. Danielson can also work both sides of the fence, working heel against gimmicky guys like Suicide, Omega and Generico, and assuming a natural face role when put up against long-time rival Aries
You know my very high opinion of Aries, and really, given his insane charisma, he could be the number one heel in TNA within two weeks if they really let him loose. In a company looking to differentiate from having nothing but statuesque musclefucks in the catbird seat, Aries is the perfect poster child. He's short, but he's lean, can wrestle and has as much personality as guys like Jericho, Piper, Savage and Cena.
Omega is quirky, but in wrestling, quirky works sometimes. I mean, remember when Saturn got over by acting like a amnesiac, hanging around a mop and saying "You're welcome" all the time? If that elicited even one laugh, then this:
...and this:
...and this:
...and this:
...and everything else this guy does would make him so over that audiences' eyes would collectively bleed due to the sheer and utter awesomeness being perpetrated.
Whereas Omega would be over on just quirky awesomeness, El Generico would provide sheer likeability and face charisma. The way he carries himself in the ring makes you want to cheer him, even if you've never seen him before or even know his name. Plus, he's got a wicked fucking awesome finisher. His indie tag team partner, Kevin Steen, is pretty much what Samoa Joe was in the X-Division, only in my estimation, better both in ring presence and workrate. Plus, they could tag together in a pinch if they've got nothing better to do at the moment.
Elijah Burke is one guy that the WWE missed the boat on it seems. Many people raved over him; I barely got to watch him, but what I saw was pretty good. I'll admit this though. I just don't get Kofi Kingston though. I mean, he's not horrible, but he seems so bland at times, like he just kicks and acts happy. I have to wonder what Burke could have done given Kingston's push. Oh well, the WWE's loss will be my TNA's gain.
Delirious and Tyler Black round out the roster. Both guys ooze strange charisma, but in different ways. Delirious is more comedic with his outlandish ring attire, gibberish-speak (even so he's still better on the mic than Jeff Hardy!) and spastic ring movements, while Black plays up the goth-emo more with his srs bsnss move names and black and red attire motif. Both guys could be serious stars if given the chance, and I'd take that risk.
Next up is the tag team division. TNA's tag division as-is is better than the WWE's but that's not really all that hard to be. It can be better. The best thing is that they do have a good base, but a base that needs to be allowed to breathe without the fucking Dudley Boys stifling them. Aaaanyway...
Tag Team Wrestlers: Motor City Machine Guns, Beer Money Inc., The British Invasion, The Young Bucks, The American Wolves, Da Soul Touchaz
Again, TNA has a decent base. Beer Money is over, the MCMGs are talented and the British Invasion have promise. Three tag teams are good, but for the division to really take the lead among the mainstream, it could use a few more to challenge and amaze.
Enter the Young Bucks, the American Wolves and Da Soul Touchaz. The American Wolves, Eddy Edwards and Davey Richards, are ROH's current Tag Team Champions and indie darlings, but the Young Bucks and Soul Touchaz are more on the unknown side. The Bucks are a team of brothers, Nick and Matt Jackson, who resemble a younger Hardy Boyz in look. The difference between them and the Hardyz? Well, both of them are better workers than Jeff for one, and they actually wear real ring attire instead of what you'd probably find at Goodwill. If you want a taste as to what they can do, order the DGUSA PPV and witness what will probably end up being my match of the year for 2009: The Bucks against CIMA and Susumu Yokosuku.
Da Soul Touchaz are based out of Chicago's Elite Pro Wrestling. I saw them work King of Trios night one, and they were a pretty good, kinetic tag team with a real sense of fun about them. Plus, it would give TNA an in in Chicagoland.
The final installment will cover the Knockouts and the loose ends.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Instant Feedback: Raw is Shaq
Compared to last week, RAW was a shining paragon of wrestling television at its finest, but then again, compared to last week, your average episode of Impact would look somewhat passable. I've been saying all along that RAW hasn't been consistently awful, but the one constant has been its almost sinusoidal in its quality for the last year. This week was a good week, but still with very, very baffling and downright infuriating elements.
For one... would it fucking kill them to elevate someone new into the WWE Championship picture? I deluded myself into believing that they were really going to put Mark Henry in that SummerSlam main event. I mean, Trips didn't win his match, and maybe, just maybe, they would have put Miz over Cena somehow. But that WWE midcard star making machine struck again, having Cena bury the everloving hell out of Miz for a second time in three matches and beating him for the third time in as many tries (the RAW match after the Bash was a good showcase for Miz, but in context of the rest of the feud, it did NOTHING for him since it was sandwiched between Ls).
Two, would it fucking kill Triple H to SELL the fucking knee? Oh yeah, he did after Cody Rhodes worked it over during the match, but he just got billy-clubbed backstage. No limp? No prolonged effects? Oh, I forgot, it was Triple H against Legacy, so it's okay. Well, I will give them one thing for that match. They actually made Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, Jr. look like real superstars instead of job absorbers, although I didn't understand why Trips would have been DQed if he hit DiBiase. Sometimes the WWE's explanation of rules makes no sense whatsoever. But anyway, it's a start.
Three... the main problem that I have with Beat the Clock is that the guy who isn't officially "entered" into the fray gets jobbed hard. In reality, Evan Bourne should be going to SummerSlam to take on Randy Orton. I mean, he got the quickest pinfall, right? Right? But no, he wasn't the guy beating the clock. I know it would fuck their booking, but at the same time, you could have done something in-ring related and not had the veneer of being unfair to Bourne and the other guys who were the "fodder".
That all being said, I didn't think RAW was awful tonight. I would say it was good, even with the glaring mistakes, because it was a show built around the action in the ring. When the focus is on the matches and not on bullshit comedy, it works. Even the backstage skits were funnier, maybe because Shaq has more comedic presence in his pinky fingernail than ZZ Top does in their entire bodies, but hey, it all worked. Even Cole hamming it up like the douchebag he is worked in context with Shaq leaving him hanging.
And aside from Kendrick getting squashed and the awful-for-TV but okay-for-the-live-crowd Chavo/Hornswoggle feud, the in-ring action was good. Carlito and Henry have differing styles, but the match wasn't horrible. Say what you want about Chris Masters, but he was booked smartly and he played his role well. Again, Legacy was made to look smart and credible against Triple H, even if the big nosed crap pusher could have done more to sell the knee. The women's match was good mainly because Beth Phoenix, Mickie James and Gail Kim were allowed to control the pace instead of the spot-o-matic other divas. Finally, the main event worked. Cryme Tyme is an underrated team, and I really like both guys as wrestlers. It helps that they're in there against perhaps the best wrestler in the world today and maybe the best big man of all-time.
Honestly, while I finished watching still wanting a little bit more quality from them, it was a huge step in the right direction. The thing is they can't just deviate from that plan and go back to pushing asinine and lame comedy for the next show. I have a bad feeling that's how next week will pan out. I mean, Jeremy Piven is a good comedic actor, but I don't get the warm and fuzzies like I did with Shaq or with Seth Green or when they teased Dusty Rhodes.
In one final note... anyone else catch Shaq kissing Jericho on the forehead and then Jericho going all cross-eyed in reaction? That was totally weird, but I think Jericho selling it made it work. Fuckin' A. That's why I've had a mancrush on the Lionheart for the last 12 years.
For one... would it fucking kill them to elevate someone new into the WWE Championship picture? I deluded myself into believing that they were really going to put Mark Henry in that SummerSlam main event. I mean, Trips didn't win his match, and maybe, just maybe, they would have put Miz over Cena somehow. But that WWE midcard star making machine struck again, having Cena bury the everloving hell out of Miz for a second time in three matches and beating him for the third time in as many tries (the RAW match after the Bash was a good showcase for Miz, but in context of the rest of the feud, it did NOTHING for him since it was sandwiched between Ls).
Two, would it fucking kill Triple H to SELL the fucking knee? Oh yeah, he did after Cody Rhodes worked it over during the match, but he just got billy-clubbed backstage. No limp? No prolonged effects? Oh, I forgot, it was Triple H against Legacy, so it's okay. Well, I will give them one thing for that match. They actually made Rhodes and Ted DiBiase, Jr. look like real superstars instead of job absorbers, although I didn't understand why Trips would have been DQed if he hit DiBiase. Sometimes the WWE's explanation of rules makes no sense whatsoever. But anyway, it's a start.
Three... the main problem that I have with Beat the Clock is that the guy who isn't officially "entered" into the fray gets jobbed hard. In reality, Evan Bourne should be going to SummerSlam to take on Randy Orton. I mean, he got the quickest pinfall, right? Right? But no, he wasn't the guy beating the clock. I know it would fuck their booking, but at the same time, you could have done something in-ring related and not had the veneer of being unfair to Bourne and the other guys who were the "fodder".
That all being said, I didn't think RAW was awful tonight. I would say it was good, even with the glaring mistakes, because it was a show built around the action in the ring. When the focus is on the matches and not on bullshit comedy, it works. Even the backstage skits were funnier, maybe because Shaq has more comedic presence in his pinky fingernail than ZZ Top does in their entire bodies, but hey, it all worked. Even Cole hamming it up like the douchebag he is worked in context with Shaq leaving him hanging.
And aside from Kendrick getting squashed and the awful-for-TV but okay-for-the-live-crowd Chavo/Hornswoggle feud, the in-ring action was good. Carlito and Henry have differing styles, but the match wasn't horrible. Say what you want about Chris Masters, but he was booked smartly and he played his role well. Again, Legacy was made to look smart and credible against Triple H, even if the big nosed crap pusher could have done more to sell the knee. The women's match was good mainly because Beth Phoenix, Mickie James and Gail Kim were allowed to control the pace instead of the spot-o-matic other divas. Finally, the main event worked. Cryme Tyme is an underrated team, and I really like both guys as wrestlers. It helps that they're in there against perhaps the best wrestler in the world today and maybe the best big man of all-time.
Honestly, while I finished watching still wanting a little bit more quality from them, it was a huge step in the right direction. The thing is they can't just deviate from that plan and go back to pushing asinine and lame comedy for the next show. I have a bad feeling that's how next week will pan out. I mean, Jeremy Piven is a good comedic actor, but I don't get the warm and fuzzies like I did with Shaq or with Seth Green or when they teased Dusty Rhodes.
In one final note... anyone else catch Shaq kissing Jericho on the forehead and then Jericho going all cross-eyed in reaction? That was totally weird, but I think Jericho selling it made it work. Fuckin' A. That's why I've had a mancrush on the Lionheart for the last 12 years.
ROH to Monday Nights
From the horse's mouth itself
Sorry I wasn't on this as soon as it happened, but I was out in the field for my job. Nothing earth-shattering, but Monday nights are a better night for wrestling than Saturdays anyway. Of course, it would be better if Comcast didn't cockblock HDNet. I think I might have to call them up and complain.
Sorry I wasn't on this as soon as it happened, but I was out in the field for my job. Nothing earth-shattering, but Monday nights are a better night for wrestling than Saturdays anyway. Of course, it would be better if Comcast didn't cockblock HDNet. I think I might have to call them up and complain.
Fixing TNA: Main Event and Upper Midcard
Of the many problems the company has, the roster isn't one of them. Well, it is in a way, but it's mostly in the utilization. It seems like every former WCW or WWE guy that comes through the gates is pushed to the moon. Meanwhile, AJ Styles has been with the company seven years and he's jobbing lame titles to Kevin Nash and waiting to get his shot to carry the promotion as "The Man" like he should be right now. Yeah, because that's how you build an identity. *rolls eyes*
With good booking, any roster can work, but at the same time, a big part of having identity is creating stars of your own, or at the very least taking the other guy's castoffs and reinventing them if they have the talent so that it seems like they're TNA originals. Paul Heyman did just that with ECW. When you saw Raven, he wasn't Scotty Flamingo or Johnny Polo. He was Raven. In fact, you had to have a smart friend or the Internet to figure it out. It was that good. TNA needs to do that, and therefore, there needs to be an enema at the top of the card. Guys need to either go completely or be reassigned into NPC roles, like Booker and Nash, who have value in the roles I outlined last time, or Sting and even Scott Steiner, who have value as road agents. But that they're wrestling and winning titles is just ludicrous. There needs to be a paradigm shift. Here's where it should come:
After the jump...
Main Event Wrestlers: Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Abyss, Jay Lethal
None of those six names should really surprise you excepting maybe Lethal and I guess Angle after that rant. However, here's the deal on Kurt Angle. While he's probably legitimately out of his mind and definitely someone who came in after being King Shit of Fuck Mountain in the WWE, he's one of those signings that make sense, a superstar to supplement a roster that should have been comprised of originals. Angle remains mainly because he's still a great wrestler and a name talent that can be used to both sell PPVs and, when the time comes, put over the other guys as legitimate threats. We've all seen Angle at his best in the WWE, so it goes without saying that if he were to get back to that level in TNA, it'd be a plus for them.
AJ Styles is a no-brainer really. The guy is talented, charismatic and loyal. He should be the face of the company. I'd build it around him with Angle and Samoa Joe as his heel challengers.
Speaking of Joe, first thing would be to wipe the penis off his face. Next, he goes back to being the "Joe's gonna kill you" assassin-type techincal marvel who chokes people out and feels no remorse over doing it. He's the one guy who's going to take the most rehabbing, but it'll be worth it because he does have a certain animal charisma, and I think as a heel, he could be a viable asset to feud with a bunch of guys, not just Daniels or Styles.
Daniels and Lethal are both smallish, but at this point, I'm building a company that is the opposite of what the WWE is. Because I want to put it out there that ability > look, why not push two of the most gifted smaller guys out there? Plus, let's face it, how many MMA superstars are roided out of their minds? Boxers? Legit tough guys? In fact, most legit fighters will tell you that the big muscleheads wouldn't be able to do much because they'd be immobile. Lethal presents an interesting case because he's been Black Machismo for so long. I'd be inclined to let him run with it, just because aside from the DVD, Macho Man hasn't been in the consciousness of the WWE forever, and really, a tribute gimmick isn't bad when it's done well. I mean, do I need to remind you that Ric Flair wasn't the original Nature Boy, and that turned out just fine?
Finally, there's Abyss, another guy who's been with the company forever and has a potential niche as a monster-type. Yeah, he's not a very good worker in the Angle/Joe/Styles sense, but he's not horrible and can fill the role for an underdog to take down on the way up, like say, Hernandez.
Of course, those six guys would comprise the TNA World Championship Division for the next few months. The next level down would compete for the Legends Championship... yeah I know, it's a lame name and a lame title, but hear me out. Instead of just ditching the title altogether and shoving everyone in the midcard in the X-Division, why not rename the title and keep it around, something like the TNA North American Championship? That would work. Here's that division:
North American Level Wrestlers: Hernandez, Cody Deaner, D'Lo Brown, Claudio Castagnioli, Necro Butcher, Ken Anderson, Umaga, Ken Doane, Jethro Holliday, Nigel McGuinness
Here you have a fair mix of indie talent, TNA guys and WWE castoffs that need to be reinvented. They at least tried with Jethro Holliday (the former Trevor Murdoch), so that's a start. Anderson is another guy that is acceptable to bring over as is, but he can't be mentioning the WWE all the time. That's one of the things that I hate about TNA, their propensity to mention the WWE, mention history, almost putting what happens over there over what's going on in the fed itself.
Umaga would probably have to be reinvented a little bit, but I think he'd be a good second for Samoa Joe. I'd redo him as sort of a silent bodyguard, an anti-Samoan gimmicked Samoan, a slick savage to coin a phrase.
Necro Butcher is so obviously over in the indies, and he's got the size and the raw unorthodox charisma that I think would translate well to the big stage. Why he hasn't been approached by either company is beyond me. He and Hernandez would have a great big-man feud, one that people would be talking about for a long time. McGuinness and Castagnioli are no-brainers as well, although McGuinness' penchant for getting hurt is a red flag, especially since chinadoll Anderson is in the same sort of mix.
Ken Doane was a late addition to that division, but my eyes were opened at DGUSA. He played his role so well. He can work in my TNA any time. Same for D'Lo Brown, whom I thought got an unfair shake years ago with the Droz thing and again this past run, where he was signed but not given any TV time. D'Lo would be great in ECW in the Goldust veteran-jobber-to-the-up-and-comers role where his sole duty would be to put on great matches with the rookies he's putting over. But their loss would be my TNA's gain.
Rounding out would be Cody Deaner, who is one of the lone bright spots of the fed as is right now.
Next installment will be dedicated to the X-Division and Tag Teams.
With good booking, any roster can work, but at the same time, a big part of having identity is creating stars of your own, or at the very least taking the other guy's castoffs and reinventing them if they have the talent so that it seems like they're TNA originals. Paul Heyman did just that with ECW. When you saw Raven, he wasn't Scotty Flamingo or Johnny Polo. He was Raven. In fact, you had to have a smart friend or the Internet to figure it out. It was that good. TNA needs to do that, and therefore, there needs to be an enema at the top of the card. Guys need to either go completely or be reassigned into NPC roles, like Booker and Nash, who have value in the roles I outlined last time, or Sting and even Scott Steiner, who have value as road agents. But that they're wrestling and winning titles is just ludicrous. There needs to be a paradigm shift. Here's where it should come:
After the jump...
Main Event Wrestlers: Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Abyss, Jay Lethal
None of those six names should really surprise you excepting maybe Lethal and I guess Angle after that rant. However, here's the deal on Kurt Angle. While he's probably legitimately out of his mind and definitely someone who came in after being King Shit of Fuck Mountain in the WWE, he's one of those signings that make sense, a superstar to supplement a roster that should have been comprised of originals. Angle remains mainly because he's still a great wrestler and a name talent that can be used to both sell PPVs and, when the time comes, put over the other guys as legitimate threats. We've all seen Angle at his best in the WWE, so it goes without saying that if he were to get back to that level in TNA, it'd be a plus for them.
AJ Styles is a no-brainer really. The guy is talented, charismatic and loyal. He should be the face of the company. I'd build it around him with Angle and Samoa Joe as his heel challengers.
Speaking of Joe, first thing would be to wipe the penis off his face. Next, he goes back to being the "Joe's gonna kill you" assassin-type techincal marvel who chokes people out and feels no remorse over doing it. He's the one guy who's going to take the most rehabbing, but it'll be worth it because he does have a certain animal charisma, and I think as a heel, he could be a viable asset to feud with a bunch of guys, not just Daniels or Styles.
Daniels and Lethal are both smallish, but at this point, I'm building a company that is the opposite of what the WWE is. Because I want to put it out there that ability > look, why not push two of the most gifted smaller guys out there? Plus, let's face it, how many MMA superstars are roided out of their minds? Boxers? Legit tough guys? In fact, most legit fighters will tell you that the big muscleheads wouldn't be able to do much because they'd be immobile. Lethal presents an interesting case because he's been Black Machismo for so long. I'd be inclined to let him run with it, just because aside from the DVD, Macho Man hasn't been in the consciousness of the WWE forever, and really, a tribute gimmick isn't bad when it's done well. I mean, do I need to remind you that Ric Flair wasn't the original Nature Boy, and that turned out just fine?
Finally, there's Abyss, another guy who's been with the company forever and has a potential niche as a monster-type. Yeah, he's not a very good worker in the Angle/Joe/Styles sense, but he's not horrible and can fill the role for an underdog to take down on the way up, like say, Hernandez.
Of course, those six guys would comprise the TNA World Championship Division for the next few months. The next level down would compete for the Legends Championship... yeah I know, it's a lame name and a lame title, but hear me out. Instead of just ditching the title altogether and shoving everyone in the midcard in the X-Division, why not rename the title and keep it around, something like the TNA North American Championship? That would work. Here's that division:
North American Level Wrestlers: Hernandez, Cody Deaner, D'Lo Brown, Claudio Castagnioli, Necro Butcher, Ken Anderson, Umaga, Ken Doane, Jethro Holliday, Nigel McGuinness
Here you have a fair mix of indie talent, TNA guys and WWE castoffs that need to be reinvented. They at least tried with Jethro Holliday (the former Trevor Murdoch), so that's a start. Anderson is another guy that is acceptable to bring over as is, but he can't be mentioning the WWE all the time. That's one of the things that I hate about TNA, their propensity to mention the WWE, mention history, almost putting what happens over there over what's going on in the fed itself.
Umaga would probably have to be reinvented a little bit, but I think he'd be a good second for Samoa Joe. I'd redo him as sort of a silent bodyguard, an anti-Samoan gimmicked Samoan, a slick savage to coin a phrase.
Necro Butcher is so obviously over in the indies, and he's got the size and the raw unorthodox charisma that I think would translate well to the big stage. Why he hasn't been approached by either company is beyond me. He and Hernandez would have a great big-man feud, one that people would be talking about for a long time. McGuinness and Castagnioli are no-brainers as well, although McGuinness' penchant for getting hurt is a red flag, especially since chinadoll Anderson is in the same sort of mix.
Ken Doane was a late addition to that division, but my eyes were opened at DGUSA. He played his role so well. He can work in my TNA any time. Same for D'Lo Brown, whom I thought got an unfair shake years ago with the Droz thing and again this past run, where he was signed but not given any TV time. D'Lo would be great in ECW in the Goldust veteran-jobber-to-the-up-and-comers role where his sole duty would be to put on great matches with the rookies he's putting over. But their loss would be my TNA's gain.
Rounding out would be Cody Deaner, who is one of the lone bright spots of the fed as is right now.
Next installment will be dedicated to the X-Division and Tag Teams.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Open the Historic Gate: Or THE BEST WRESTLING SHOW EVER~!~!~!
I just got back from Dragon Gate USA's historic first show, and let me say, without hyperbole that it was the best wrestling show I have ever seen in my life. Honestly, I have to think about it to come up with something that comes remotely close. Seven matches, all of them at least 3-and-a-half stars or better. The close quarters of the ECW Arena. Familiar and new faces. Tag team wrestling that featured more tag team psychology in one night than the WWE has shown in the last 18 months. A hot, hot crowd. This show had it all.
I missed the opening opening match as we were in line outside the arena waiting to get in. WE ended up upgrading our tickets to 5th row, but it was too late for us to see the match. I heard it was a fun battle royale type though.
Dawn Marie was our host, and although she put on a little weight, she still looked real good. Her ring announcing left something to be desired, but hey, if that's the worst part of the night (and it was), then it was gonna be a good show.
First match was Yamato against BxB Hulk. This was a fun opener, and the crowd was really behind Hulk. Yamato was probably the most over heel of the night. Hulk has some really, really good kicks. Good match, but he spent the end of the match playing up the "I'm really gonna finish him" angle, but attempted one too many finishers, missing on a top-rope move. Yamato capitalized and won after hitting a head drop (I'm foggy on what exactly it was).
Second match featured two gaijin, Ken "Kenny Dykstra" Doane against 2 Cold Scorpio. Doane played heel, and he wasn't helped by the crowd, our group included, giving him shit for several different reasons. Some of the chants:
"We want Ziggler" (in reference to his former Spirit Squad member and WWE up-and-comer)
"We want Mickie" (James, Doane's former girlfriend)
"Kenny Dykstra"
"You got fired"
"Vince don't like you"
He was eating it up though. This was a really fun match. Doane did the heel thing with a lot of restholds, chinlocks and sleepers, really ticked the crowd off. When Scorpio was on offense, he played up the confident veteran, almost toying with Doane. Scorpio still had it, proving that even at his age he's still one of the best in the world. Finish saw Scorp hit a nice corkscrew front-flip leg drop. They played up the respect angle at the end, and the crowd gave Doane his due.
Next up was the Chikara 8-man tag. The crowd was really hot for this, as the entire tecnico team (Mike Quackenbush, the Colony and Jigsaw) as did Hallowicked on the rudo team (HW being a rudo in name only for the match). Great match with a lot of great psychology. Amasis spent a good amount of his ring-time hamming it up, which was great. Gran Akuma's kicks made gunshots look tame. There were a lot of really cool team-up moves, and Quack actually looked really good for having just come back off back surgery. Again, there was more tag team psychology in this one match than you'd see in 18 months in the WWE. The best was when Jigsaw was going to go for a tope suicida on one of the rudos, and Gran Akuma just comes out of nowhere and belts him from the apron before he can launch. The finish was really one of those "special-move-o-mania" clear outs with Jigsaw and I want to say Icarus left in the ring. Jigsaw hit the Jig 'n Tonic (go to 1:20 on that video for a visual). Game over.
Quack cut a promo after the match putting over Jorge Rivera, trainer for most of the Chikara and Dragon Gate guys, and then talking about the "sibling rivalry" between the partner promotions. He issued an open challenge, which was seemingly answered by Yamato, who kicked Quack in the nuts and attacked him after saying how much he didn't respect Quack, Rivera and Chikara. Jigsaw made the save, but then Gran Akuma came out, seemingly as back-up until he kicked Jigsaw in the nuts and then started to attack Quack as well. The rest of the Chikarmy came out from the back and cleared out the ring, and thus we had set up for the Chicago show.
Next match was a barnburner between Masato Yoshino and Dragon Kid. This match was so fast-paced, as JR would say, quicker than a hiccup. I mean, it was AMAZING how quickly and crisply these guys moved. Both guys were big high flyers and DK got the duke. Post match, 2 Cold Scorpio made another appearance. He put over all the history from the Arena, mentioning Psycosis, Sabu, Rey Mysterio, Eddy Guerrero and Dean Malenko. Then he put over DK and Yoshino, saying they were the new legends of the Arena and that there needed to be a rematch, which I can only assume will happen at the Chicago show.
Intermission was next. When we came back, Dawn Marie announced that the next show in Philly would be in November and would be called "Open the Freedom Gate". It will be an 8-man, one-night tournament to crown the first ever Open the Freedom Gate Champion, which will basically become the American equivalent to the Open the Dream Gate Championship, DGJapan's main title. If you can't tell already, I will be attending that one too.
The first match after intermission was the match of the night. The Young Bucks, whom I remember from the Chikara King of Trios tournament, took on Susumu Yokosuku and CIMA. There were so many great spots, so many sick moves, so many big bumps, so many memorable moments... I didn't want this match to end. The most memorable spot out of the bunch happened right in front of our section, actually. Yokosuku draped one of the Bucks across the guardrail and held him there. CIMA went into the crowd, leapt onto the guardrail, springboarding (for lack of a better term) off the rail and onto the Jackson brother's outstretched abdomen with a double-stomp. It was a sight to behold, and in a match with more big spots than Philly has cheesesteaks, it stood out as the spot of the night. We chanted "Warriors! Warriors!" on more than one occasion. The Bucks got the big win after a big highspot flurry on Yokosuku. Afterwards, both teams got in the ring and congratulated each other on the match. Then, one of the Bucks got on the mic and basically said they were the best team in the world and were challenging anyone in the back. After watching that, I'd be hard-pressed to think of any team in the big two companies better than they were. Of course, there are a bunch of great tag teams on the indie-level, like the Osirian Portal, Los Ice Creams, the Super Smash Bros., the American Wolves and Generico/Steen, but the Bucks can hang with those teams like they did with two of the best wrestlers in the world.
The only problem with the main event was that the crowd was so drained by the tag match. I know I was. I barely had any juice for the main, but it was still another great match, this one between Shingo and Open the Dream Gate Champion Naruki Doi. There was a lot of head-dropping and stiff striking in this match. Shingo sold the leg most of the match, and there was a lot of trading blows. Doi got the win, as expected, with the Muscular Bomb. As sick as it looked on streaming video, it looked that much nastier in person. Doi is a true performer, although I thought Shingo would make more of an immediate impact Stateside.
Honestly, if you weren't there tonight, you missed out on a great show. I strongly urge you to order this on pay-per-view, more than anything else I've ever recommended in my entire life. The matches were fantastic, the crowd was hot and I honestly don't think you need to know much about the wrestlers going in, because you'll learn about who they are in each match you watch.
And special shoutouts to Tom Kingsmill and Sean McLaughlin for coming out with me tonight, and to all the folks out there that I met up from various corners of the world, including Marty Day, Stan Mikita, Mikey Nunes and the Connecticut Playaz, and of course Zia-saurus Hiltey and her Paul Bearer t-shirt. I had a great time tonight, and I hope all you guys did too.
I missed the opening opening match as we were in line outside the arena waiting to get in. WE ended up upgrading our tickets to 5th row, but it was too late for us to see the match. I heard it was a fun battle royale type though.
Dawn Marie was our host, and although she put on a little weight, she still looked real good. Her ring announcing left something to be desired, but hey, if that's the worst part of the night (and it was), then it was gonna be a good show.
First match was Yamato against BxB Hulk. This was a fun opener, and the crowd was really behind Hulk. Yamato was probably the most over heel of the night. Hulk has some really, really good kicks. Good match, but he spent the end of the match playing up the "I'm really gonna finish him" angle, but attempted one too many finishers, missing on a top-rope move. Yamato capitalized and won after hitting a head drop (I'm foggy on what exactly it was).
Second match featured two gaijin, Ken "Kenny Dykstra" Doane against 2 Cold Scorpio. Doane played heel, and he wasn't helped by the crowd, our group included, giving him shit for several different reasons. Some of the chants:
"We want Ziggler" (in reference to his former Spirit Squad member and WWE up-and-comer)
"We want Mickie" (James, Doane's former girlfriend)
"Kenny Dykstra"
"You got fired"
"Vince don't like you"
He was eating it up though. This was a really fun match. Doane did the heel thing with a lot of restholds, chinlocks and sleepers, really ticked the crowd off. When Scorpio was on offense, he played up the confident veteran, almost toying with Doane. Scorpio still had it, proving that even at his age he's still one of the best in the world. Finish saw Scorp hit a nice corkscrew front-flip leg drop. They played up the respect angle at the end, and the crowd gave Doane his due.
Next up was the Chikara 8-man tag. The crowd was really hot for this, as the entire tecnico team (Mike Quackenbush, the Colony and Jigsaw) as did Hallowicked on the rudo team (HW being a rudo in name only for the match). Great match with a lot of great psychology. Amasis spent a good amount of his ring-time hamming it up, which was great. Gran Akuma's kicks made gunshots look tame. There were a lot of really cool team-up moves, and Quack actually looked really good for having just come back off back surgery. Again, there was more tag team psychology in this one match than you'd see in 18 months in the WWE. The best was when Jigsaw was going to go for a tope suicida on one of the rudos, and Gran Akuma just comes out of nowhere and belts him from the apron before he can launch. The finish was really one of those "special-move-o-mania" clear outs with Jigsaw and I want to say Icarus left in the ring. Jigsaw hit the Jig 'n Tonic (go to 1:20 on that video for a visual). Game over.
Quack cut a promo after the match putting over Jorge Rivera, trainer for most of the Chikara and Dragon Gate guys, and then talking about the "sibling rivalry" between the partner promotions. He issued an open challenge, which was seemingly answered by Yamato, who kicked Quack in the nuts and attacked him after saying how much he didn't respect Quack, Rivera and Chikara. Jigsaw made the save, but then Gran Akuma came out, seemingly as back-up until he kicked Jigsaw in the nuts and then started to attack Quack as well. The rest of the Chikarmy came out from the back and cleared out the ring, and thus we had set up for the Chicago show.
Next match was a barnburner between Masato Yoshino and Dragon Kid. This match was so fast-paced, as JR would say, quicker than a hiccup. I mean, it was AMAZING how quickly and crisply these guys moved. Both guys were big high flyers and DK got the duke. Post match, 2 Cold Scorpio made another appearance. He put over all the history from the Arena, mentioning Psycosis, Sabu, Rey Mysterio, Eddy Guerrero and Dean Malenko. Then he put over DK and Yoshino, saying they were the new legends of the Arena and that there needed to be a rematch, which I can only assume will happen at the Chicago show.
Intermission was next. When we came back, Dawn Marie announced that the next show in Philly would be in November and would be called "Open the Freedom Gate". It will be an 8-man, one-night tournament to crown the first ever Open the Freedom Gate Champion, which will basically become the American equivalent to the Open the Dream Gate Championship, DGJapan's main title. If you can't tell already, I will be attending that one too.
The first match after intermission was the match of the night. The Young Bucks, whom I remember from the Chikara King of Trios tournament, took on Susumu Yokosuku and CIMA. There were so many great spots, so many sick moves, so many big bumps, so many memorable moments... I didn't want this match to end. The most memorable spot out of the bunch happened right in front of our section, actually. Yokosuku draped one of the Bucks across the guardrail and held him there. CIMA went into the crowd, leapt onto the guardrail, springboarding (for lack of a better term) off the rail and onto the Jackson brother's outstretched abdomen with a double-stomp. It was a sight to behold, and in a match with more big spots than Philly has cheesesteaks, it stood out as the spot of the night. We chanted "Warriors! Warriors!" on more than one occasion. The Bucks got the big win after a big highspot flurry on Yokosuku. Afterwards, both teams got in the ring and congratulated each other on the match. Then, one of the Bucks got on the mic and basically said they were the best team in the world and were challenging anyone in the back. After watching that, I'd be hard-pressed to think of any team in the big two companies better than they were. Of course, there are a bunch of great tag teams on the indie-level, like the Osirian Portal, Los Ice Creams, the Super Smash Bros., the American Wolves and Generico/Steen, but the Bucks can hang with those teams like they did with two of the best wrestlers in the world.
The only problem with the main event was that the crowd was so drained by the tag match. I know I was. I barely had any juice for the main, but it was still another great match, this one between Shingo and Open the Dream Gate Champion Naruki Doi. There was a lot of head-dropping and stiff striking in this match. Shingo sold the leg most of the match, and there was a lot of trading blows. Doi got the win, as expected, with the Muscular Bomb. As sick as it looked on streaming video, it looked that much nastier in person. Doi is a true performer, although I thought Shingo would make more of an immediate impact Stateside.
Honestly, if you weren't there tonight, you missed out on a great show. I strongly urge you to order this on pay-per-view, more than anything else I've ever recommended in my entire life. The matches were fantastic, the crowd was hot and I honestly don't think you need to know much about the wrestlers going in, because you'll learn about who they are in each match you watch.
And special shoutouts to Tom Kingsmill and Sean McLaughlin for coming out with me tonight, and to all the folks out there that I met up from various corners of the world, including Marty Day, Stan Mikita, Mikey Nunes and the Connecticut Playaz, and of course Zia-saurus Hiltey and her Paul Bearer t-shirt. I had a great time tonight, and I hope all you guys did too.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Paul Heyman: "WWE and TNA fail the future"
Paul Heyman on the lack of new talent being scouted by the big promotions
While I wouldn't want him to book my fed, I still can't deny that Heyman is a solid booking and wrestling mind. Spot on commentary. Even in the WWE, where they give lip-service to building new stars, they really are gunshy. I mean hurray hurray, they're letting CM Punk run with the ball, but what about MVP? Mark Henry? Rey Mysterio? The Miz? Why are these guys relegated to secondary titles and spot appearances instead of breaking up the monotony of Triple H/Randy Orton or Edge/Jeff Hardy PPV mains?
While I wouldn't want him to book my fed, I still can't deny that Heyman is a solid booking and wrestling mind. Spot on commentary. Even in the WWE, where they give lip-service to building new stars, they really are gunshy. I mean hurray hurray, they're letting CM Punk run with the ball, but what about MVP? Mark Henry? Rey Mysterio? The Miz? Why are these guys relegated to secondary titles and spot appearances instead of breaking up the monotony of Triple H/Randy Orton or Edge/Jeff Hardy PPV mains?
Fixing TNA: Front Office and Non-Wrestlers
TNA is in trouble. Regardless of what some delusional fans will tell you, the company is flagging badly. Their flagship television program, Impact, has struggled to beat the WWE's "C" show, ECW, in the last few weeks in the ratings. It's rumored that Slammiversary only did 7,000 buys, although that's been somewhat refuted. Still, I can't imagine the buyrate being much higher than 20,000 in this economy.
With the WWE having its own problems with ratings and buyrates, you'd think that this would be a great opportunity for TNA to catch up, but they aren't. They're making huge, fundamental mistakes that keep them from catching up. Mostly all of it can be blamed on the multi-headed booking and writing staff they have trying to recreate 1998 with 1998's stars, rehashing tired ideas, pushing broken down old men and creating storylines and feuds that make no sense and matches that are spotty in their quality at best. Their announcers can't get a plate of delicious flapjacks over to hungry lumberjacks at the end of a hard day of outdoor strength conditioning. (bee-tee-dubya, that video is fuckin' awesome if you skip past the redneck Brisco promo... Grizzly Redwood, Daizee Haze and Delirious are all full of awesome and win, and the Chris Hero promo was really, really good too) It's all a dreadful mess.
At this point, the front office of TNA is in dire need of an enema to clear it out. The top of the card needs an enema as well. The whole company needs to be refocused and reimagined. Instead of having 1998's stars trying to recreate another Attitude Era WWF, they should be carving out their own identity. There was a great thread at A1 started by poster Highland Arab about what you'd do if you bought TNA from Dixie Carter. I gave my short-form answer, but here is where I'll explain all my choices. It's a little tl;dr, but if you're a fan of these kinds of things, then this is right up your alley:
After the jump... TOM HOLZERMAN RESHAPES TNA~!
Head Booker: Lance Storm, and no one else
Again, since most of what ails TNA is in the front office, it's time to give it a fresh start with someone fresh and intelligent, yet grounded in tried and true old-school booking ideas. Enter Lance Storm. While I always found him boring both as a character and a wrestler, there's no doubt that I'm in the minority. Most hardcore wrestling fans thought Storm was very good at what he did. That doesn't mean I won't give him his due in the ring; he was an effective heel despite his lack of charisma. Where he shines to me is in his post-wrestling career, where he's been one of the best wrestling columnists on the Internet. Here's one of his very best, a screed on the Rules of Wrestling.
Storm's biggest criticism would be that he has no experience booking a promotion. While fully aware of that fact, I see him, in football terms, as a "hot coordinator", a fresh face that may have a different take on things or a better handling of certain aspects of the game than, say, your retread bookers. Jim Cornette and Paul Heyman, I'm looking in your directions.
I know, I know, hold on, both Corny and Paul E. are both respected wrestling minds, and I do think they would have their positives as full-on booker of TNA. HOWEVER, both of them have their big minuses either. I feel like Cornette has become a bit delusional over the years and obsessed with running down the WWE. It seems that in every other non-TNA appearance he makes, he's criticizing how the WWE handles Christian or saying something disparaging the market leader. Why would I want someone obsessed with trashing the competition as my booker? The best way to trash the competition is by producing a better product. Plus, he's the same guy that thinks Matt Morgan is "the pinnacle of TNA". Pass.
Heyman would be a little better of a choice given that he's been successful in the last two decades with two different companies (ECW in the '90s and WWE: Smackdown in the Aughts). He knows how to balance cutting edge with classic, but he also knows how to, and doesn't feel ashamed to, piss people off. Yeah, you need that if you're going to be an effective leader, but Heyman is a bit too polarizing for my tastes.
So, this is where Storm comes in. He's worked for Heyman before, so he knows a thing or two about what made ECW tick. He's young for a front office guy, so he can stick around for awhile. Most importantly, he knows that it's crucial for a company to build its own identity. He was in ECW when it was high and WCW when it was low. No doubt he watches enough wrestling to see which ideas are good and which ones are bad. He's definitely the guy I want.
In-Character Commissioner: Booker T
While I don't think Booker can still keep up with the roster I have in mind, I still think he's an awesome character and can have a place in my TNA any day. So, with Barack Obama as the first African-American President, why not have the most over African-American wrestler this side of The Rock take the position of in-character authority figure? Booker has the charisma to make the role work, and he's been a beloved member of the WWE, WCW and TNA rosters, so he has the respect in his favor.
While it may seem counterintuitive for someone of that stature to be in a role that preferably shouldn't be a huge part of the show, it will work for when Booker is needed. And even if he isn't making Earth-shattering decisions week in and week or not getting into feuds with wrestlers (which he won't in my redesign), he can still stump for you to watch the show in advertisements and promos.
Commentators: Mike Goldberg and Kevin Nash
Mike Tenay and Don West should just rename themselves Drizzling and Shits, because that's what they are. Tenay has this rep for being an amazing announcer because he "knows so much about the business". I'm sorry, but that only makes half a good announcer. You have to be able to deliver those facts in a way that gets the viewing audience to care about the wrestler. To me, he just spouts off empty facts because they're there, not because it helps anyone in the ring. Add that to the fact that he doesn't have a play-by-play announcer's tenor or pace and he's the worst man possible for the job... well, except for this guy:
West is slightly more tolerable, but only because of the unintentional comedy level. The guy is a blustery blowhard who does nothing to get the wrestlers over. He just sits there and tries to make his quips that fail miserably. A quipping color commentator would work if the PBP guy was solid, but again, it's not in this situation. TNA's announcing situation is only slightly better than its front office one.
Enter Mike Goldberg. The WWE made a play to get him away from UFC when they stupidly decided that Joey Styles wasn't the right PBP guy for ECW anymore (despite the fact that he's better than all the PBP guys they have right now except Jim Ross). Goldberg turned them down, but he listened, which means he could possibly be had. Of course, the big criticism is that Goldberg doesn't know much about wrestling. He's a UFC guy through and through, and I'm not sure he was even a pro-wrestling fan to begin with. However, he brings a few things to the table. One is name recognition. Fans will hear that Goldberg has jumped ship and think that maybe TNA is becoming a bit more "real". Two is exerience calling one-on-one fights. While many people will be quick to point out the differences between pro wrestling and mixed martial arts, there are plenty of similarities and even crossover moves (especially with Kurt Angle, Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar having competed or wanting to compete in both). Three is professionalism. Goldberg from all accounts is 100% professional and dedicated to his craft. Therefore, you wouldn't have a situation like when Mike Adamle called Jeff Hardy "Jeff Harvey" at WrestleMania. It's a gamble, but not as much a gamble as going with an unknown at this point.
To replace West, I'd put Kevin Nash in the booth. Again, Nash isn't a guy I want on my roster to wrestle, especially at the speed I'd demand out of the roster, but you can't deny his personality and connection to the business. I always thought he had great charisma, and many people have pointed out to me how well he'd do as an announcer. I have my reservations about this pick moreso than Goldberg if only for the tendency Nash has to put himself over and bury everyone else in promos, and that's the opposite of what a color commentator should be doing. However, I think if he were put in that chair and positioned away from the action, he could be persuaded to do right by the roster. Besides, it's much easier to find a color commentator than it is to find a PBP guy. Why not start out with a guy with superior mic skills?
That's it for now. Next installment will be the main event and upper midcard wrestlers.
With the WWE having its own problems with ratings and buyrates, you'd think that this would be a great opportunity for TNA to catch up, but they aren't. They're making huge, fundamental mistakes that keep them from catching up. Mostly all of it can be blamed on the multi-headed booking and writing staff they have trying to recreate 1998 with 1998's stars, rehashing tired ideas, pushing broken down old men and creating storylines and feuds that make no sense and matches that are spotty in their quality at best. Their announcers can't get a plate of delicious flapjacks over to hungry lumberjacks at the end of a hard day of outdoor strength conditioning. (bee-tee-dubya, that video is fuckin' awesome if you skip past the redneck Brisco promo... Grizzly Redwood, Daizee Haze and Delirious are all full of awesome and win, and the Chris Hero promo was really, really good too) It's all a dreadful mess.
At this point, the front office of TNA is in dire need of an enema to clear it out. The top of the card needs an enema as well. The whole company needs to be refocused and reimagined. Instead of having 1998's stars trying to recreate another Attitude Era WWF, they should be carving out their own identity. There was a great thread at A1 started by poster Highland Arab about what you'd do if you bought TNA from Dixie Carter. I gave my short-form answer, but here is where I'll explain all my choices. It's a little tl;dr, but if you're a fan of these kinds of things, then this is right up your alley:
After the jump... TOM HOLZERMAN RESHAPES TNA~!
Head Booker: Lance Storm, and no one else
Again, since most of what ails TNA is in the front office, it's time to give it a fresh start with someone fresh and intelligent, yet grounded in tried and true old-school booking ideas. Enter Lance Storm. While I always found him boring both as a character and a wrestler, there's no doubt that I'm in the minority. Most hardcore wrestling fans thought Storm was very good at what he did. That doesn't mean I won't give him his due in the ring; he was an effective heel despite his lack of charisma. Where he shines to me is in his post-wrestling career, where he's been one of the best wrestling columnists on the Internet. Here's one of his very best, a screed on the Rules of Wrestling.
Storm's biggest criticism would be that he has no experience booking a promotion. While fully aware of that fact, I see him, in football terms, as a "hot coordinator", a fresh face that may have a different take on things or a better handling of certain aspects of the game than, say, your retread bookers. Jim Cornette and Paul Heyman, I'm looking in your directions.
I know, I know, hold on, both Corny and Paul E. are both respected wrestling minds, and I do think they would have their positives as full-on booker of TNA. HOWEVER, both of them have their big minuses either. I feel like Cornette has become a bit delusional over the years and obsessed with running down the WWE. It seems that in every other non-TNA appearance he makes, he's criticizing how the WWE handles Christian or saying something disparaging the market leader. Why would I want someone obsessed with trashing the competition as my booker? The best way to trash the competition is by producing a better product. Plus, he's the same guy that thinks Matt Morgan is "the pinnacle of TNA". Pass.
Heyman would be a little better of a choice given that he's been successful in the last two decades with two different companies (ECW in the '90s and WWE: Smackdown in the Aughts). He knows how to balance cutting edge with classic, but he also knows how to, and doesn't feel ashamed to, piss people off. Yeah, you need that if you're going to be an effective leader, but Heyman is a bit too polarizing for my tastes.
So, this is where Storm comes in. He's worked for Heyman before, so he knows a thing or two about what made ECW tick. He's young for a front office guy, so he can stick around for awhile. Most importantly, he knows that it's crucial for a company to build its own identity. He was in ECW when it was high and WCW when it was low. No doubt he watches enough wrestling to see which ideas are good and which ones are bad. He's definitely the guy I want.
In-Character Commissioner: Booker T
While I don't think Booker can still keep up with the roster I have in mind, I still think he's an awesome character and can have a place in my TNA any day. So, with Barack Obama as the first African-American President, why not have the most over African-American wrestler this side of The Rock take the position of in-character authority figure? Booker has the charisma to make the role work, and he's been a beloved member of the WWE, WCW and TNA rosters, so he has the respect in his favor.
While it may seem counterintuitive for someone of that stature to be in a role that preferably shouldn't be a huge part of the show, it will work for when Booker is needed. And even if he isn't making Earth-shattering decisions week in and week or not getting into feuds with wrestlers (which he won't in my redesign), he can still stump for you to watch the show in advertisements and promos.
Commentators: Mike Goldberg and Kevin Nash
Mike Tenay and Don West should just rename themselves Drizzling and Shits, because that's what they are. Tenay has this rep for being an amazing announcer because he "knows so much about the business". I'm sorry, but that only makes half a good announcer. You have to be able to deliver those facts in a way that gets the viewing audience to care about the wrestler. To me, he just spouts off empty facts because they're there, not because it helps anyone in the ring. Add that to the fact that he doesn't have a play-by-play announcer's tenor or pace and he's the worst man possible for the job... well, except for this guy:
West is slightly more tolerable, but only because of the unintentional comedy level. The guy is a blustery blowhard who does nothing to get the wrestlers over. He just sits there and tries to make his quips that fail miserably. A quipping color commentator would work if the PBP guy was solid, but again, it's not in this situation. TNA's announcing situation is only slightly better than its front office one.
Enter Mike Goldberg. The WWE made a play to get him away from UFC when they stupidly decided that Joey Styles wasn't the right PBP guy for ECW anymore (despite the fact that he's better than all the PBP guys they have right now except Jim Ross). Goldberg turned them down, but he listened, which means he could possibly be had. Of course, the big criticism is that Goldberg doesn't know much about wrestling. He's a UFC guy through and through, and I'm not sure he was even a pro-wrestling fan to begin with. However, he brings a few things to the table. One is name recognition. Fans will hear that Goldberg has jumped ship and think that maybe TNA is becoming a bit more "real". Two is exerience calling one-on-one fights. While many people will be quick to point out the differences between pro wrestling and mixed martial arts, there are plenty of similarities and even crossover moves (especially with Kurt Angle, Bobby Lashley and Brock Lesnar having competed or wanting to compete in both). Three is professionalism. Goldberg from all accounts is 100% professional and dedicated to his craft. Therefore, you wouldn't have a situation like when Mike Adamle called Jeff Hardy "Jeff Harvey" at WrestleMania. It's a gamble, but not as much a gamble as going with an unknown at this point.
To replace West, I'd put Kevin Nash in the booth. Again, Nash isn't a guy I want on my roster to wrestle, especially at the speed I'd demand out of the roster, but you can't deny his personality and connection to the business. I always thought he had great charisma, and many people have pointed out to me how well he'd do as an announcer. I have my reservations about this pick moreso than Goldberg if only for the tendency Nash has to put himself over and bury everyone else in promos, and that's the opposite of what a color commentator should be doing. However, I think if he were put in that chair and positioned away from the action, he could be persuaded to do right by the roster. Besides, it's much easier to find a color commentator than it is to find a PBP guy. Why not start out with a guy with superior mic skills?
That's it for now. Next installment will be the main event and upper midcard wrestlers.
Friday Five: RIP
Early death almost seems like a job requirement for wrestling. It sucks, but it's a part of the business and sadly, of fandom.
1. Which wrestler do you miss the most?
2. Is the heavy schedule a major factor in natural cause deaths?
3. Which died-before-his-time wrestler had the brightest potential future ahead of him/her?
4. Are you even surprised anymore when you hear about a wrestler dying young?
5. Two-plus years later, looking back, do you think Chris Benoit's double murder-suicide had that great an effect on fans coming in or leaving wrestling?
1. Which wrestler do you miss the most?
2. Is the heavy schedule a major factor in natural cause deaths?
3. Which died-before-his-time wrestler had the brightest potential future ahead of him/her?
4. Are you even surprised anymore when you hear about a wrestler dying young?
5. Two-plus years later, looking back, do you think Chris Benoit's double murder-suicide had that great an effect on fans coming in or leaving wrestling?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
The Best Moves of All-Time: Michinoku Driver II
TAKA Michinoku was best known for his stint in the WWF as their answer to WCW's cruiserweight revolution. He stayed on for a good while, teaming with Shoichi Funaki to form the team Kaientai. He came over from Michinoku Pro (he named himself in honor of the fed), where he came up with this move, one of the most bastardized and modified moves in professional wrestling today, the Michinoku Driver II:
If you double-click on this embed and then play the entire video, you'll see Michinoku Driver I as well.
If you double-click on this embed and then play the entire video, you'll see Michinoku Driver I as well.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
All These Guys Are Full of Awesome and Win
Thanks to "Angry" Pete Speer from the PTC forums for digging this video up, an example as to why I love indie wrestling, especially the kind that you'd find in Chikara, for example. This clip doesn't specify the fed, but it features Chris Bosh, Kevin Steen, Jigsaw, Colt Cabana, Gran Akuma, Scott Lost and Ricky Reyes, all either hitting someone or getting hit in the balls by a stationary arm called the Lioncock. Well, to be fair, Bosh and Steen are the only ones that actually perform the move. Everyone else just falls victim to it. If you don't like stupid comedy, then don't watch this video (and you probably suck too), but if you do, bask in its awesome and winning glow:
Abraham Washington
It's no secret that I hate it when a wrestling program ends with something other than a wrestling match. Talk is a big part of the game, but wrestling's still on the marquee. Granted, if the interview segment is good, then maybe I'd begrudgingly make an exception.
Abraham Washington is not one of those exceptions. In fact, he's only been on ECW for a few weeks now, and I already want to throw a javelin between his eyes. He's quite easily the worst addition to the roster in ECW's New Talent Initiative, and possibly the worst person to work the mic in the company right now. I'm pretty sure Hornswoggle is better. I mean, let's see, his material is dated, his delivery is forced, his pitch is annoying and he has no stage presence, especially compared to his two guests last night, Tommy Dreamer and Christian.
And the fact that that difficult to watch segment was at the end of ECW last night, especially during a go-home show before the PPV, is inexcusable and deplorable. Last week, Kozlov beat Dreamer clean and Shelton Benjamin beat Christian 99% cleanly. You would think that would signify their involvement in things right? Well, no. Instead, we get Kozlov picking fights with Big Zeke Jackson and Benjamin going over Goldust cleanly. Oh yeah, and some lame guy who kinda looks like a blacker Rock cracking fat jokes at Tommy Dreamer.
Couple all of that with their insistance on keeping Goldust's stuttering character, and it's just more proof that the WWE would rather peddle their weaksauce brand of comedy over building good, solid wresting-based storylines and letting their legitimately charismatic and talented wrestlers do the talking and acting. Goldust especially, seeing as he's so gifted as a performer in that character. He doesn't have to resort to stuttering just to fucking stay over.
At the center of the problems on ECW stands Washington though. The guy's show is a disgrace, and at this point, he had better be the next Ric Flair for him to make up for the micwork in the ring. The WWE keeps slipping further and further away from my favor with every dumb move they make. The sooner they realize it's all about the wrestling and more importantly, all about the wrestlers, they'll start putting better quality shows on.
Abraham Washington is not one of those exceptions. In fact, he's only been on ECW for a few weeks now, and I already want to throw a javelin between his eyes. He's quite easily the worst addition to the roster in ECW's New Talent Initiative, and possibly the worst person to work the mic in the company right now. I'm pretty sure Hornswoggle is better. I mean, let's see, his material is dated, his delivery is forced, his pitch is annoying and he has no stage presence, especially compared to his two guests last night, Tommy Dreamer and Christian.
And the fact that that difficult to watch segment was at the end of ECW last night, especially during a go-home show before the PPV, is inexcusable and deplorable. Last week, Kozlov beat Dreamer clean and Shelton Benjamin beat Christian 99% cleanly. You would think that would signify their involvement in things right? Well, no. Instead, we get Kozlov picking fights with Big Zeke Jackson and Benjamin going over Goldust cleanly. Oh yeah, and some lame guy who kinda looks like a blacker Rock cracking fat jokes at Tommy Dreamer.
Couple all of that with their insistance on keeping Goldust's stuttering character, and it's just more proof that the WWE would rather peddle their weaksauce brand of comedy over building good, solid wresting-based storylines and letting their legitimately charismatic and talented wrestlers do the talking and acting. Goldust especially, seeing as he's so gifted as a performer in that character. He doesn't have to resort to stuttering just to fucking stay over.
At the center of the problems on ECW stands Washington though. The guy's show is a disgrace, and at this point, he had better be the next Ric Flair for him to make up for the micwork in the ring. The WWE keeps slipping further and further away from my favor with every dumb move they make. The sooner they realize it's all about the wrestling and more importantly, all about the wrestlers, they'll start putting better quality shows on.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Kenny Omega Is Full of Awesome and Win
Another Youtube vid of awesomeness, this time featuring Kenny Omega brutalizing a blowup doll (no, not sexually, perv) in the ring. Thanks to JesusVonKillyourfamily of the PTC forums for finding this:
The highlight of the video? Third move in... did you catch it? The Zangief spinning piledriver from Street Fighter II? Yeah you did. Admit it. Fuckin' awesome, amirite?
The highlight of the video? Third move in... did you catch it? The Zangief spinning piledriver from Street Fighter II? Yeah you did. Admit it. Fuckin' awesome, amirite?
RAW Is Failed UPN Sitcom
Despite what you may have been reading from me on some wrestling forums (which is mainly a reaction to being condescended to, not anything with the quality of the product being discussed), RAW wasn't exactly all that great last night. In fact, it was terrible. I would have liked for this to have been the first time I had this kind of reaction, but honestly, RAW has been sketchy this year at best and wildly inconsistent with a trend to the bad at worst. I can't put it on the same levels as the Impacts that I watched earlier this year, because those shows had barely any redeeming qualities if at all. Even on the worst RAWs, like what was on last night, there was still that fun six-man tag match, a great interview segment with Miz, Mickie James and Maryse Ouellet, a pretty cool promo with Chris Jericho and Priceless Legacy and what I thought was a breakout performance in the opening segment from John Cena (breakout in that he cut a really good face promo and was himself rather than a caricature of The Rock and/or Hulk Hogan).
However, it's worthless to try and defend what was driving the show, a lame attempt at comedy, where the guys driving the action, a clearly-not-over ZZ Top, didn't have the comedic chops to deliver the subpar material delivered to them. Todd Martin from F4W Online put it well, although I only agree with part of it. It was a bad sitcom last night, one of those shows that is uncomfortable to sit through. Bad drama/action may be boring, but it's almost never cringeworthy. That's why comedy never gets the respect it deserves. It's so much harder to do well, and when it fails, it fails spectacularly.
Speaking of which, they even found a way to make Santino Marella seem unfunny. SANTINO! The most naturally charismatic wrestler they have right now and the most naturally funny wrestler they've EVER had, spent the night in a fake beard throwing out forced quips. It was truly awful.
The WWE and Vince McMahon claim so much that they're into the old school and that they honor whom came before them, but it's all lip-service. If they truly honored the past:
- There'd be a midcard
- There'd be a tag division
- There'd be less forced comedy from outside sources and more comedy and entertainment value from the people they have
- There'd be fewer repeated main events on consecutive shows
- There'd be fewer gimmick matches on free TV and less frequency of said gimmick matches at PPVs
- There'd be fewer instances where a Champion was pinned cleanly in a non-title situation
- There'd be more build for the PPV, y'know, the events that people PAY MONEY to watch
- There'd be more emphasis on WRESTLING!
Of course, while it is true that a show dedicated to nothing but wrestling matches would wear thin on people, the pendulum swinging too far the other way makes it a sitcom or a drama. Let's face it, there are writers out there that do that kind of scripting way better. The thing is finding a happy medium, giving the fans of wrestling more of what they want, which is wrestling action and their favorite wrestlers, not musicians, actors or NPCs, but WRESTLERS, being entertaining on the microphone.
They're just lucky that UFC 100 happened on a week where there was an uptick in the quality of RAW, because if it happened this past Saturday, it might have meant a figurative death in ratings. The comparisons would have been that much starker.
However, it's worthless to try and defend what was driving the show, a lame attempt at comedy, where the guys driving the action, a clearly-not-over ZZ Top, didn't have the comedic chops to deliver the subpar material delivered to them. Todd Martin from F4W Online put it well, although I only agree with part of it. It was a bad sitcom last night, one of those shows that is uncomfortable to sit through. Bad drama/action may be boring, but it's almost never cringeworthy. That's why comedy never gets the respect it deserves. It's so much harder to do well, and when it fails, it fails spectacularly.
Speaking of which, they even found a way to make Santino Marella seem unfunny. SANTINO! The most naturally charismatic wrestler they have right now and the most naturally funny wrestler they've EVER had, spent the night in a fake beard throwing out forced quips. It was truly awful.
The WWE and Vince McMahon claim so much that they're into the old school and that they honor whom came before them, but it's all lip-service. If they truly honored the past:
- There'd be a midcard
- There'd be a tag division
- There'd be less forced comedy from outside sources and more comedy and entertainment value from the people they have
- There'd be fewer repeated main events on consecutive shows
- There'd be fewer gimmick matches on free TV and less frequency of said gimmick matches at PPVs
- There'd be fewer instances where a Champion was pinned cleanly in a non-title situation
- There'd be more build for the PPV, y'know, the events that people PAY MONEY to watch
- There'd be more emphasis on WRESTLING!
Of course, while it is true that a show dedicated to nothing but wrestling matches would wear thin on people, the pendulum swinging too far the other way makes it a sitcom or a drama. Let's face it, there are writers out there that do that kind of scripting way better. The thing is finding a happy medium, giving the fans of wrestling more of what they want, which is wrestling action and their favorite wrestlers, not musicians, actors or NPCs, but WRESTLERS, being entertaining on the microphone.
They're just lucky that UFC 100 happened on a week where there was an uptick in the quality of RAW, because if it happened this past Saturday, it might have meant a figurative death in ratings. The comparisons would have been that much starker.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Follow-up on the Last Post
From F4W Online
But hey, if that's what the wrestlers want, it's what they want. Quite frankly, in a world where wrestlers aren't unionized and bookers, especially Vince McMahon, can nearly get away with murder, well, it's kinda refreshing. Still, it'd be better if the guys leading the charges weren't whackjobs (Ventura) and former (and current?) junkies (Angle).
Again, this is a hot story, and in the interest of getting stuff out, even the reputable news sources can tend to get worked, but I'll keep my eyes peeled. Hopefully, this doesn't turn out to be one giant work because again, the worked shoot is so 1997.
--Here is an update on the Jeff Jarrett/TNA/Kurt Angle situation. Ever since the mysterious TNA person on Bubba the Love Sponge said that Jarrett and Karen Angle were together, Dixie Carter ordered Jarrett to go home, which has been described publicly as him agreeing to take a leave of absence. At the house show on Saturday night, Angle was telling people that he is going to end up with booking control of the company that Jarrett had and that he won't sign a new contract if Jarrett remains in power. Nobody really know how things transpire from here. Jarrett was booked in segments on last night's show that were either tweaked or removed. The direction of the booking last night was planned before any of this went down as the TVs for the next month were written before the Bubba stuff happened, although everything involving Jarrett obviously has had to be tweaked. Generally speaking, the wrestlers are sympathetic to Kurt Angle on this one aside from those who have naturally close ties with Jarrett. TNA people are playing the tape from Bubba over and over since the guy disguised his voice, attempting to find out who started this mess and made the call. I presume, given that it's wrestling, that they all make up and try and do a television angle out of this.So yeah, it's basically a power-grab by Kurt Angle and mutiny by the TNA locker room. This is big news, although I'm not so sure how I feel about any one wrestler having that much control. Jarrett was bad, but would Kurt Angle be any better? Simon says I doubt it.
But hey, if that's what the wrestlers want, it's what they want. Quite frankly, in a world where wrestlers aren't unionized and bookers, especially Vince McMahon, can nearly get away with murder, well, it's kinda refreshing. Still, it'd be better if the guys leading the charges weren't whackjobs (Ventura) and former (and current?) junkies (Angle).
Again, this is a hot story, and in the interest of getting stuff out, even the reputable news sources can tend to get worked, but I'll keep my eyes peeled. Hopefully, this doesn't turn out to be one giant work because again, the worked shoot is so 1997.
Jarrett Gone Indefinitely
TNA had a PPV last night. I didn't watch it, and gauging from the reactions at both A1 and F4W, it was pretty atrocious. Still, I won't review something that I haven't watched, but I found a kernel of news coming from the event pretty interesting. Turns out Jeff Jarrett wasn't at the PPV last night and was pulled from television indefinitely. (Thanks, Jason Powell and The Net!) Jarrett's camp has given the reason that he's taking some time off to recharge the batteries and attend to personal matters. However, this timing is curious seeing as a pretty saucy rumor has come to the surface.
It turns out that a person claiming to be in the know backstage at TNA called up Bubba the Love Sponge's satellite radio show and said that Kurt Angle's ex-wife Karen, a former TNA television personality, has shacked up with Jarrett. He also claimed that Dixie Carter was threatening to buy out Jarrett's stake and kick him off the board of directors. The rumor has not been substantiated by anyone of note; Bubba left a message with Kurt Angle, but no one responded back to them.
Now, I'm not going to comment further on the pillow talk because really, what consenting adults do with their own time is their business and no one else's. However, the ramifications within TNA could be huge, especially if Jarrett is forced out. The only thing more shocking would have been if Linda McMahon divorced Vince, won the WWE in a settlement and then forced him out. I mean, TNA was built as a vanity promotion for Jarrett after WCW was purchased by the WWF and wouldn't take him in. Speaking of which...
That still gets me every time, although I'm not sure what's funnier, that Vince holds a grudge over something that was his fault, or that he blatantly misspells Jarrett's name, or that my indifference towards Jarrett being rammed down my throat in WCW's dying days made it funny that he was packaged "DO NOT WANT" by the WWF.
Aaaaanyway, if Jarrett is in the process of being squeezed out, could this mean that brighter days are on the horizon? Well... it depends on whether Dutch Mantell was swept out with him. Vince Russo too, although if he stays, well, at least they'll try to elevate the younger guys. I mean, Russo may be the most incoherent, uncohesive bookers of all-time, but he's got a track record of trying to get younger guys over.
Regardless of whether Jarrett leaving means potential improvement on the way, it's still a huge blow to the company's legacy. I mean he's the in-character founder, and by all means, a decent guy out of the ring when he's not trying to get the whole show booked to make him look like 1985 Hulk Hogan. For him to get squeezed out for things that should have been kept private would be embarrassing to the company and horrible for a guy who was with the company for all that time. Of course, this is all hearsay at the moment, and not a lick of it could be true. However, I smell the faintest trace of smoke in all of this, and you know the cliché.
This story will undoubtedly unfold more over the next few weeks, but for now, it could be a sign of many things for the beleaguered promotion. Jarrett could be forced out, but if I'm forced to deal with 50-somethings holding all the major belts, then what's the point? As a fan, I want to see AJ Styles and Chris Daniels and the other young guns do what they do. I want to see an alternative place for indie stars right now to get their time in the sun without having to forfeit their identity. I want to see an alternative to the WWE so I can have more wrestling to enjoy.
Is that too much to ask?
It turns out that a person claiming to be in the know backstage at TNA called up Bubba the Love Sponge's satellite radio show and said that Kurt Angle's ex-wife Karen, a former TNA television personality, has shacked up with Jarrett. He also claimed that Dixie Carter was threatening to buy out Jarrett's stake and kick him off the board of directors. The rumor has not been substantiated by anyone of note; Bubba left a message with Kurt Angle, but no one responded back to them.
Now, I'm not going to comment further on the pillow talk because really, what consenting adults do with their own time is their business and no one else's. However, the ramifications within TNA could be huge, especially if Jarrett is forced out. The only thing more shocking would have been if Linda McMahon divorced Vince, won the WWE in a settlement and then forced him out. I mean, TNA was built as a vanity promotion for Jarrett after WCW was purchased by the WWF and wouldn't take him in. Speaking of which...
That still gets me every time, although I'm not sure what's funnier, that Vince holds a grudge over something that was his fault, or that he blatantly misspells Jarrett's name, or that my indifference towards Jarrett being rammed down my throat in WCW's dying days made it funny that he was packaged "DO NOT WANT" by the WWF.
Aaaaanyway, if Jarrett is in the process of being squeezed out, could this mean that brighter days are on the horizon? Well... it depends on whether Dutch Mantell was swept out with him. Vince Russo too, although if he stays, well, at least they'll try to elevate the younger guys. I mean, Russo may be the most incoherent, uncohesive bookers of all-time, but he's got a track record of trying to get younger guys over.
Regardless of whether Jarrett leaving means potential improvement on the way, it's still a huge blow to the company's legacy. I mean he's the in-character founder, and by all means, a decent guy out of the ring when he's not trying to get the whole show booked to make him look like 1985 Hulk Hogan. For him to get squeezed out for things that should have been kept private would be embarrassing to the company and horrible for a guy who was with the company for all that time. Of course, this is all hearsay at the moment, and not a lick of it could be true. However, I smell the faintest trace of smoke in all of this, and you know the cliché.
This story will undoubtedly unfold more over the next few weeks, but for now, it could be a sign of many things for the beleaguered promotion. Jarrett could be forced out, but if I'm forced to deal with 50-somethings holding all the major belts, then what's the point? As a fan, I want to see AJ Styles and Chris Daniels and the other young guns do what they do. I want to see an alternative place for indie stars right now to get their time in the sun without having to forfeit their identity. I want to see an alternative to the WWE so I can have more wrestling to enjoy.
Is that too much to ask?
Friday, July 17, 2009
Friday Five: Cruiserweights
Ah yes, part of what made WCW tick in the late '90s were its cruiserweights. In honor, here you go:
1. Do you think the introduction of the cruiserweight division helped or hurt the wrestlers who were introduced into it from the start?
2. Who is the most influential junior heavyweight/cruiserweight in history in your opinion?
3. Best cruiser match from WCW. Name it.
4. Would the WWE benefit from having a cruiser division today?
5. Who would be the ideal "cruiserweight bully" for a viable jr. division?
1. Do you think the introduction of the cruiserweight division helped or hurt the wrestlers who were introduced into it from the start?
2. Who is the most influential junior heavyweight/cruiserweight in history in your opinion?
3. Best cruiser match from WCW. Name it.
4. Would the WWE benefit from having a cruiser division today?
5. Who would be the ideal "cruiserweight bully" for a viable jr. division?
Subjectivity
This post really isn't completely wrestling related as it can be applied across the board in any subject where there's no concrete way of determing who's "better", mainly music, movies, television etc. However, what caused it has been spurred on by posts made by certain people at message boards I post at.
Wrestling is a unique beast. Its roots are in sport, as it's clearly an athletic endeavor to compete successfully in the squared circle, yet its predetermined nature gives it a lot more things in common with scripted entertainment. Because of that, judging it is much different than judging other "real" sports, and in fact, it causes pro wrestling to be judged much like a television show or movie. The biggest stats objectively would be money made and television ratings, but most fans would be inclined to judge it with subjective criteria like entertainment value.
That is not to say that there are no objective criteria other than money; they're just murkier to discuss, mainly because people's perspectives are different depending on the wrestling they were weaned on. Regardless, there's a general compass for what is considered good, influential or important.
What isn't covered by that compass is what entertains us. We don't always like what's important or what's influential or even what's "good". While it's undeniable that Hulk Hogan was the biggest draw of the 1980s and not a reach to say he was the most important, it's perfectly understandable for a person not to enjoy him, or to have found a lesser light, like maybe a Curt Hennig or a Magnum TA or a Ronnie Garvin to be better. You like whom you like, and sometimes, there's no rhyme or reason as to why.
That's why I find it ludicrous when people start attacking people for liking something. I mean, yeah, I come on this blog and say that Triple H sucks or TNA sucks or Randy Orton sucks or EVERYTHING SUCKS~!!!!~~~!~!~!~@!~@~!@#~!@~!@`12`12`1, but conversely, I'm not going sit here and blast someone for being a fan of any of those things I hate. Take Matt Ward, or Tchu as some may know him, the guy who co-mods the wrestling forum at PTC with me. He's a huge Triple H fan. I've had spats with him before over the more "objective" arguments, like Triple H's impact on ratings or his political machinations, but at the end of the day, I'm not going to sit here and hate on him for liking the guy. I would never belittle him or criticize him for liking Triple H, just as he'd never do the same to me for liking The Miz. And I have to say, there are scarce few other people that I respect more when it comes to discussing wrestling. That's why we moderate the forum.
On the flip side, there are people out there who think their opinions are ironclad enough to be considered fact, and you get bullshit like this:
"Yeah, Santino [Marella] is lots more entertaining if you're willing to virtually obliterate any ounce of disbeleif [sic] factor from within you. Heck, who am I kiding?! [sic] Even then, Santino is stupid (and not in a good way, in majority) at best."
(in response to me saying that Santino was more entertaining than Jim Cornette) "It's ridiculous and it's wrong... Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but some opinions are wrong."
"TNA has been excellent in the last few months, and if you don't agree, then you're biased against it and furthermore, have your head up Vince McMahon's ass."
"Who cares if David Arquette didn't make money for WCW during his short time there? You're not smart if you don't believe that it was good at the time for WCW."
Yeah, that shit doesn't fly with me at all. To tell someone that their opinions on how they're entertained are wrong is to tell them that they can't enjoy wrestling the way that they want to, and that they should enjoy it a certain way or else not watch all. That to me is elitism at its worst, and the last time I checked, wrestling isn't exactly entertainment for the social elite.
I'm not going to sit here and say that everyone's opinion is valid. Yes, there are "wrong opinions", but usually they're ones made after being presented with facts, be they true or false. If someone were to say "I think that Santino Marella is more important than Jim Cornette", that opinion would be pretty wrongheaded unless you were to discount the huge amount of influence Corny had on heel managers from his days in Smoky Mountain, JCP and the NWA. Of course if you did that, you'd be arguing in bad faith and would still be wrong.
But to say an opinion of "I am more entertained by Santino Marella than Jim Cornette" is wrong is... well, forming an opinion that is wrong, in my opinion. You're doing the exact same thing that you're accusing me of. That's pretty laughable.
It's very much possible to have a debate about wrestling without looking stupid or resorting to petty flames. Again, look at the countless debates that me and MatTchu have had at the PTC wrestling forums, or the disagreements I've had with guys like Freakfish or Linus at A1. Those arguments are ones that are being made in good faith on both sides, not ones made by people looking to push their dogma on others, or even worse, by people who come in condescending and arguing from the position that wrestling is for mouf-breathers and that since they're more refined, they know what the real score is.
Honestly, I don't care about differing opinions. They're what make the world go round. But don't call me stupid, don't call my purely subjective opinions wrong and don't condescend to me. I'm not an idiot, and I don't treat people like idiots unless they do the same to me in kind. Realize that debating subjectivity isn't a reason to get all angry at people, and everyone gets along fine.
Wrestling is a unique beast. Its roots are in sport, as it's clearly an athletic endeavor to compete successfully in the squared circle, yet its predetermined nature gives it a lot more things in common with scripted entertainment. Because of that, judging it is much different than judging other "real" sports, and in fact, it causes pro wrestling to be judged much like a television show or movie. The biggest stats objectively would be money made and television ratings, but most fans would be inclined to judge it with subjective criteria like entertainment value.
That is not to say that there are no objective criteria other than money; they're just murkier to discuss, mainly because people's perspectives are different depending on the wrestling they were weaned on. Regardless, there's a general compass for what is considered good, influential or important.
What isn't covered by that compass is what entertains us. We don't always like what's important or what's influential or even what's "good". While it's undeniable that Hulk Hogan was the biggest draw of the 1980s and not a reach to say he was the most important, it's perfectly understandable for a person not to enjoy him, or to have found a lesser light, like maybe a Curt Hennig or a Magnum TA or a Ronnie Garvin to be better. You like whom you like, and sometimes, there's no rhyme or reason as to why.
That's why I find it ludicrous when people start attacking people for liking something. I mean, yeah, I come on this blog and say that Triple H sucks or TNA sucks or Randy Orton sucks or EVERYTHING SUCKS~!!!!~~~!~!~!~@!~@~!@#~!@~!@`12`12`1, but conversely, I'm not going sit here and blast someone for being a fan of any of those things I hate. Take Matt Ward, or Tchu as some may know him, the guy who co-mods the wrestling forum at PTC with me. He's a huge Triple H fan. I've had spats with him before over the more "objective" arguments, like Triple H's impact on ratings or his political machinations, but at the end of the day, I'm not going to sit here and hate on him for liking the guy. I would never belittle him or criticize him for liking Triple H, just as he'd never do the same to me for liking The Miz. And I have to say, there are scarce few other people that I respect more when it comes to discussing wrestling. That's why we moderate the forum.
On the flip side, there are people out there who think their opinions are ironclad enough to be considered fact, and you get bullshit like this:
"Yeah, Santino [Marella] is lots more entertaining if you're willing to virtually obliterate any ounce of disbeleif [sic] factor from within you. Heck, who am I kiding?! [sic] Even then, Santino is stupid (and not in a good way, in majority) at best."
(in response to me saying that Santino was more entertaining than Jim Cornette) "It's ridiculous and it's wrong... Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but some opinions are wrong."
"TNA has been excellent in the last few months, and if you don't agree, then you're biased against it and furthermore, have your head up Vince McMahon's ass."
"Who cares if David Arquette didn't make money for WCW during his short time there? You're not smart if you don't believe that it was good at the time for WCW."
Yeah, that shit doesn't fly with me at all. To tell someone that their opinions on how they're entertained are wrong is to tell them that they can't enjoy wrestling the way that they want to, and that they should enjoy it a certain way or else not watch all. That to me is elitism at its worst, and the last time I checked, wrestling isn't exactly entertainment for the social elite.
I'm not going to sit here and say that everyone's opinion is valid. Yes, there are "wrong opinions", but usually they're ones made after being presented with facts, be they true or false. If someone were to say "I think that Santino Marella is more important than Jim Cornette", that opinion would be pretty wrongheaded unless you were to discount the huge amount of influence Corny had on heel managers from his days in Smoky Mountain, JCP and the NWA. Of course if you did that, you'd be arguing in bad faith and would still be wrong.
But to say an opinion of "I am more entertained by Santino Marella than Jim Cornette" is wrong is... well, forming an opinion that is wrong, in my opinion. You're doing the exact same thing that you're accusing me of. That's pretty laughable.
It's very much possible to have a debate about wrestling without looking stupid or resorting to petty flames. Again, look at the countless debates that me and MatTchu have had at the PTC wrestling forums, or the disagreements I've had with guys like Freakfish or Linus at A1. Those arguments are ones that are being made in good faith on both sides, not ones made by people looking to push their dogma on others, or even worse, by people who come in condescending and arguing from the position that wrestling is for mouf-breathers and that since they're more refined, they know what the real score is.
Honestly, I don't care about differing opinions. They're what make the world go round. But don't call me stupid, don't call my purely subjective opinions wrong and don't condescend to me. I'm not an idiot, and I don't treat people like idiots unless they do the same to me in kind. Realize that debating subjectivity isn't a reason to get all angry at people, and everyone gets along fine.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
The Sorting Bin: Your Lords and Saviors
This is it, the highest of the high. I've told you in the past that only five men in history have attained this level of fandom with me. In the past, this group included Hulk Hogan, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and The Rock. Right now, here's your group:
Your Lords and Saviors
Chris Jericho - What, you couldn't tell from the blog url? :p
In character, Jericho claims to be the best in the world at what he does. Frankly, there are very few instances where the kayfabe matches the honest to God truth. There is no one in the world better at what Jericho does than the former Ayatollah of Rock'n'Rollah. Sorry Bryan Danielson, sorry Kenta Kobashi, sorry everyone else trying to make that claim. This throne belongs to Y2J. I mean, Jericho was already awesome before his current, second run in the WWE. Pre-comeback, there were few people who could hold a candle in and out of the ring. However, much like Snapple is claiming to have found "better stuff" in their new ad campaign after brandishing a motto for years of "Made from the best stuff on Earth", Jericho has reached in his bag and found better stuff.
For one, is there any better heel in the game today than Jericho, excepting maybe the next guy to be mentioned here? Hell no. The guy gets crowds so riled up that they want to legit hurt him afterwards. Even now, when wrestling crowds are supposed to be smarter than they were in the heyday of kayfabe, when this would happen often, Jericho can get them lusting for his blood. You could almost say he's too good at being a heel for his own good.
And as for what he does in the ring? How many people take two years off from their trade and come back better? Jericho was an outstanding performer before leaving, but since coming back, he's arguably been the best in-ring general in the world. He knows how to work technically, he knows how to work the crowd, how to tell a story. He's had MOTY-candidates with great wrestlers like Shawn Michaels and Rey Mysterio and he's had watchable matches with slugs like Batista.
Excuse me for sounding like a raving fanboy, but Jericho is the absolute best in the world at what he does. There's no doubt in my mind. This guy can get anyone over as a face just by scowling at them. He can make a sack of potatoes look good. We're living in privileged times here, people.
Austin Aries - The only person to me who can push Jericho out of the top spot is Aries. This guy has so much charisma that he could probably make Batista interesting by just touching him with his pinky. He could play a believable heel or face, and not in the Triple H "oh, the crowd will be into me but not that into me" way. He'll have you eating out of his hand if he's on the tecnico side and wanting to kill him if he's rudo.
Case in point, Chikara King of Trios night one, Aries worked as a face in his opening round match and was so awe-inspiringly expressive and fluid that every time he was blind-tagged out, the crowd literally deflated. On the other side of the coin, at the ROH tapings from last month, he came out and absolutely DEMOLISHED the crowd. I mean, I haven't seen a heel promo like that working just on the crowd... ever. He exuded arrogance, and his delivery was so precision that you could feel him cutting into your soul with so much truth that it hurt your very being.
Honestly, this guy has the chops to hang with the big guys in the WWE. Too bad McMahon has a thing against people who aren't tall, statuesque and roided to the gills. It's his loss. Aries would kill on RAW, he'd destroy on Smackdown and he'd get people to watch ECW. Bank on it.
Your Lords and Saviors
Chris Jericho - What, you couldn't tell from the blog url? :p
In character, Jericho claims to be the best in the world at what he does. Frankly, there are very few instances where the kayfabe matches the honest to God truth. There is no one in the world better at what Jericho does than the former Ayatollah of Rock'n'Rollah. Sorry Bryan Danielson, sorry Kenta Kobashi, sorry everyone else trying to make that claim. This throne belongs to Y2J. I mean, Jericho was already awesome before his current, second run in the WWE. Pre-comeback, there were few people who could hold a candle in and out of the ring. However, much like Snapple is claiming to have found "better stuff" in their new ad campaign after brandishing a motto for years of "Made from the best stuff on Earth", Jericho has reached in his bag and found better stuff.
For one, is there any better heel in the game today than Jericho, excepting maybe the next guy to be mentioned here? Hell no. The guy gets crowds so riled up that they want to legit hurt him afterwards. Even now, when wrestling crowds are supposed to be smarter than they were in the heyday of kayfabe, when this would happen often, Jericho can get them lusting for his blood. You could almost say he's too good at being a heel for his own good.
And as for what he does in the ring? How many people take two years off from their trade and come back better? Jericho was an outstanding performer before leaving, but since coming back, he's arguably been the best in-ring general in the world. He knows how to work technically, he knows how to work the crowd, how to tell a story. He's had MOTY-candidates with great wrestlers like Shawn Michaels and Rey Mysterio and he's had watchable matches with slugs like Batista.
Excuse me for sounding like a raving fanboy, but Jericho is the absolute best in the world at what he does. There's no doubt in my mind. This guy can get anyone over as a face just by scowling at them. He can make a sack of potatoes look good. We're living in privileged times here, people.
Austin Aries - The only person to me who can push Jericho out of the top spot is Aries. This guy has so much charisma that he could probably make Batista interesting by just touching him with his pinky. He could play a believable heel or face, and not in the Triple H "oh, the crowd will be into me but not that into me" way. He'll have you eating out of his hand if he's on the tecnico side and wanting to kill him if he's rudo.
Case in point, Chikara King of Trios night one, Aries worked as a face in his opening round match and was so awe-inspiringly expressive and fluid that every time he was blind-tagged out, the crowd literally deflated. On the other side of the coin, at the ROH tapings from last month, he came out and absolutely DEMOLISHED the crowd. I mean, I haven't seen a heel promo like that working just on the crowd... ever. He exuded arrogance, and his delivery was so precision that you could feel him cutting into your soul with so much truth that it hurt your very being.
Honestly, this guy has the chops to hang with the big guys in the WWE. Too bad McMahon has a thing against people who aren't tall, statuesque and roided to the gills. It's his loss. Aries would kill on RAW, he'd destroy on Smackdown and he'd get people to watch ECW. Bank on it.
La Parka Is Full of Awesome and Win
I wish I would have reposted this when Michael Jackson passed a couple of weeks ago, but still, this wouldn't have been any less awesome no matter when I posted it. This is one of those examples that shows how much more fun wrestling is south of the border. In this clip from a couple of years ago, La Parka, who is best remembered in America as the "Chair"man of WCW, came out for one of his matches to "Thriller", replete with dancers and a Jackson impersonator. Watch this:
Seriously, isn't that full of awesome and win? I kinda wish that I could get out to see more Chikara, because this is the kind of thing you see during one of their shows.
Seriously, isn't that full of awesome and win? I kinda wish that I could get out to see more Chikara, because this is the kind of thing you see during one of their shows.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
ECW This Week
I know I come on here a lot and ask for clean finishes more on free TV. Sure, the Dusty finish has its place, especially on shows where major build towards PPVs happen, but even then, the clean finish has its place and do not preclude further building of an angle.
Cue up ECW this week. There were five matches on the card this week, impressive for an hourlong program (even if one of them was a squash). In fact, ECW this week was as much a wrestling program as you could ask for. The wrestlers wrestled, and when they didn't wrestle, they were promoing, or if you did have the backstage segment, it was *gasp* about wrestling! Holy Jesus, what a concept!
There were three really good matches to me. One was Zach Ryder beating Goldust. OF course, I'm a Goldust mark, so maybe that skews my view, but the guy is still great after all these years. The other two were very good free TV affairs, one between Tommy Dreamer and Vladimir Kozlov, and the other, the show opener, between Christian and Shelton Benjamin. Kozlov went over Dreamer clean and Benjamin beat Christian pretty clean as well. Good matches, clean finishes. No problems, right? Well, no. See, Dreamer is the ECW World Champion (the match was non-title). Christian is the number one contender. They're facing off in two weeks at Night of Champions.
I'll say it again. The Champion and number one contender both lost on free TV, clean as a whistle. That's a problem. Basically, the Champion is the best guy on the show. The number one contender is the guy who you're saying is the most deserving of facing the best guy on the show because he's won enough matches in the interim. When both of them lose in a clean fashion on the same program, you're really putting the credibility of your title match in question.
Now, I can see the Kozlov thing happening as it did. Kozlov only lost to Christian last week because of an exposed turnbuckle, and they seem to be angling to get him into the title match to make it a three-way. Of course, I'm not so much a fan of the non-title match anyway, and I think the WWE uses it as a crutch lately, but okay, it's a title mechanism. This current storyline calls for it.
But Benjamin over Christian? You could argue that Christian shouldn't have gone over Benjamin in that situation either, and I would be hard-pressed to disagree. Benjamin needs a lot of strong wins to wash the taste of the flash loss to Yoshi Tatsu two weeks ago. In that case, Christian and Benjamin should have been held apart, or at the very least, the finish of that match should have had Kozlov involved more than just the distraction he had mid-match. In fact, if they had had Kozlov's distraction cause the loss outright, that would have provided for a better overall finish in the grand scheme of things.
But now, you have two guys who aren't in the title match that, in kayfabe, have legitimate claims to get into it. Will they pull the trigger on both guys, or just one? Or neither? At this point, I can't read this angle, but since they seem to do right by ECW in terms of it being an old-school wrestling show, I'm more willing to give them leeway here. Even if neither guy gets in, and it's a part of a greater angle that maybe gets Tiffany fired or sets up something for SummerSlam so that ECW can have more than just two guys on their second or third biggest PPV of the year, then maybe I can go for it. Right now though, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth that the top two guys lost how they did.
Don't get me wrong though. I like that they're injecting more clean finishes into the program, and hopefully, with this new crop of wrestlers coming in, they can rebound from losing Evan Bourne, The Harts, Mark Henry and Jack SWAGGAH~! without taking too much of a quality hit. I really like what I see so far, especially from Zach Ryder and Big Zeke Jackson. I hope people aren't too quick to give up on ECW even though a lot of what made it so good for the first half of the year have moved onto other brands.
Cue up ECW this week. There were five matches on the card this week, impressive for an hourlong program (even if one of them was a squash). In fact, ECW this week was as much a wrestling program as you could ask for. The wrestlers wrestled, and when they didn't wrestle, they were promoing, or if you did have the backstage segment, it was *gasp* about wrestling! Holy Jesus, what a concept!
There were three really good matches to me. One was Zach Ryder beating Goldust. OF course, I'm a Goldust mark, so maybe that skews my view, but the guy is still great after all these years. The other two were very good free TV affairs, one between Tommy Dreamer and Vladimir Kozlov, and the other, the show opener, between Christian and Shelton Benjamin. Kozlov went over Dreamer clean and Benjamin beat Christian pretty clean as well. Good matches, clean finishes. No problems, right? Well, no. See, Dreamer is the ECW World Champion (the match was non-title). Christian is the number one contender. They're facing off in two weeks at Night of Champions.
I'll say it again. The Champion and number one contender both lost on free TV, clean as a whistle. That's a problem. Basically, the Champion is the best guy on the show. The number one contender is the guy who you're saying is the most deserving of facing the best guy on the show because he's won enough matches in the interim. When both of them lose in a clean fashion on the same program, you're really putting the credibility of your title match in question.
Now, I can see the Kozlov thing happening as it did. Kozlov only lost to Christian last week because of an exposed turnbuckle, and they seem to be angling to get him into the title match to make it a three-way. Of course, I'm not so much a fan of the non-title match anyway, and I think the WWE uses it as a crutch lately, but okay, it's a title mechanism. This current storyline calls for it.
But Benjamin over Christian? You could argue that Christian shouldn't have gone over Benjamin in that situation either, and I would be hard-pressed to disagree. Benjamin needs a lot of strong wins to wash the taste of the flash loss to Yoshi Tatsu two weeks ago. In that case, Christian and Benjamin should have been held apart, or at the very least, the finish of that match should have had Kozlov involved more than just the distraction he had mid-match. In fact, if they had had Kozlov's distraction cause the loss outright, that would have provided for a better overall finish in the grand scheme of things.
But now, you have two guys who aren't in the title match that, in kayfabe, have legitimate claims to get into it. Will they pull the trigger on both guys, or just one? Or neither? At this point, I can't read this angle, but since they seem to do right by ECW in terms of it being an old-school wrestling show, I'm more willing to give them leeway here. Even if neither guy gets in, and it's a part of a greater angle that maybe gets Tiffany fired or sets up something for SummerSlam so that ECW can have more than just two guys on their second or third biggest PPV of the year, then maybe I can go for it. Right now though, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth that the top two guys lost how they did.
Don't get me wrong though. I like that they're injecting more clean finishes into the program, and hopefully, with this new crop of wrestlers coming in, they can rebound from losing Evan Bourne, The Harts, Mark Henry and Jack SWAGGAH~! without taking too much of a quality hit. I really like what I see so far, especially from Zach Ryder and Big Zeke Jackson. I hope people aren't too quick to give up on ECW even though a lot of what made it so good for the first half of the year have moved onto other brands.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
RAW Is Just There (or, Mandatory UFC 100 Post)
In case you were living under a rock this weekend, UFC 100 took place to the fanfare of an estimated 1.5 million buys on PPV. The burgeoning juggernaut of MMA seemed to have its breakout moment, capped off by former WWE superstar Brock Lesnar defending his UFC Heavyweight Championship against Frank Mir. After that, he cut a heel promo, again showcasing how much of a hypocritical douchebag he is for dissing wrestling in one breath and using what he learned in his time in the business to further himself in the world of legitimate combat in the next.
(As an aside, for all you MMA fans out there who are pissed off at Skip Bayless for implying the sport is worked... don't waste your breath. He makes a habit out of dissing Philadelphia fans using the most inane logic and most sweeping generalizations possible. He's not worth it.)
Two nights later, Monday Night RAW aired to very little fanfare initially, but it turned out to be a pretty entertaining show featuring some comedic interjections from Seth Green.
Now, you may be asking yourself, what does one have to do with the other, other than Lesnar's past with the WWE making the comparison superficially germane? Simple. This could be professional wrestling's death knell as a mainstream player in America. Yeah, I know, it seems like hyperbole, but that's only if you don't account for how popular MMA is becoming in this country. If you just watch ESPN, you'd think that MMA is just for the fringe. It certainly got that kind of coverage, no more than what the English Premiere League, the NHL or the Tour de France would get. God forbid they take any time away from covering which Yankee player is having indigestion, Who's Now or the in-depth reasons on why Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson on the eve of her birthday.
But the numbers don't lie. The 1.5M buy projection probably will not be too far off the truth. Compare that to WrestleMania this year; the grandadddy of them all did about 900K or so. People blamed the economy. Even so, UFC did 600K more buys. Yeah. Couple that with Facebook and Twitter activity for the event going off the charts. UFC 100 trended at or close to the top. The only other sporting-related topic that came remotely close was the murder of boxer Arturo Gatti.
But death knell? It could happen. Let's face it. MMA is a giant. It's a monster. People love it because it's real, the people are real. The charisma shown isn't clouded by the stigma of cheese that can come with pro wrestling. It would take a lot to derail its momentum right now, like people dying every other card from here on out, or the admission that it was indeed worked, or that steroids are a bigger problem there than in pro wrestling. Even then, it would probably take a combination of those things instead of just one catastrophic moment of epic fail. And what does the WWE have to counter it?
John Cena. Triple H. Jeff Hardy. Not exactly a murderer's row there. Sure, wrestling fans may love them. I like them, well, two-thirds of them. Fuck Triple H. (someone at PTC just won $1000 vBucks :p) But it's not like having 1965 Buddy Rodgers, 1987 Hulk Hogan and 2000 Rock on the roster.
Even now, in the sort of upspike that wrestling has seemingly gone through in the last five years, ratings aren't changing all that much. PPV buys and house show gates may be marginally improving. The growth rates and the gross numbers aren't even trending close to MMA. For years since he bought WCW, Vince McMahon has been working under the assumption that he had no more competition in the sports entertainment business and was now competing with other prime-time television dramas and reality shows. He was wrong. He underestimated MMA, UFC particularly, and now, he's behind the 8-ball. They're going to leech his audience to the point where if there were fans of both deciding what they were going to spend their disposable income on that month, they'd probably spend it on UFC rather than WWE for PPV.
So what can McMahon do to overtake the lead? Nothing short of finding the next big guy. That is to say he's not catching with MMA anytime soon. The thing is, he shouldn't even try. It's too late. The shame part of it is that RAW wasn't completely awful last night. In fact, in the last few months, RAW's quality has sort of fluctuated. That being said, the highs are pretty high. But last night, you had a mainstream crossover that didn't completely feel embarrassing to watch, a guest host who was funny and popped the crowd in a wrestling match without tarishing the credibility of the wrestlers (Seth Green > Shane McMahon in that regard). You had good wrestling action, some good promos. And the best part? NO PROLONGED RECAPS!!! IT WAS FUCKIN' AWESOME!!! BAHAHAH... *ahem*, excuse me. I mean, if they stayed at that quality every week, I'd be a happy wrestling fan.
But then again, I don't like MMA all that much to begin with. It's not me VKM has to worry about keeping happy. That's why RAW couldn't afford to be just good last night. Last night's show was already kinda doomed by the Home Run Derby, but coming in the wake of the biggest MMA show ever? FUGGEDDABOUTIT!
Now that the game has changed, McMahon and crew need to bring their A material every week. First thing's first, they need to start creating new main event stars. While finding a new Rock/Hogan/Austin is unlikely at best, it's still possible, and you aren't going to find him by recycling the same old Orton/Trips/Cena/Batista/Hardy/Edge main programs. They need to find out what they have with guys like MVP, Jack SWAGGAH~!, The Miz, Christian and Shelton Benjamin, among others. At worst, they have a bunch of other guys to throw in the main event and potentially draw them money on the Trips/Cena/J. Hardy level.
Two, they need to learn the lesson from the Trump RAW three weeks ago and lessen the commercial time on the show. Supplement the revenue lost from the cut commercials by presenting certain portions of the program from them. I mean, it worked with Kentucky Grilled Chicken. I'm sure there will be other companies wanting to get their new or revamped products out there.
Third, they need to up the quality level, up the intelligence. Even if they don't draw in new audience, they need to show potential sponsors that they market to an audience that, y'know, HAS disposable income. That way, they can charge more for commercials, run fewer commercials... you get the idea.
Again, none of this will give the WWE the inside track at beating out MMA, but what it will do is keep people's options open. People will have a harder time shunning the WWE and pro wrestling completely if what's accessible to them is a quality product (which rules out TNA completely), and if it ever comes to a sink-or-swim moment for the company and the industry on a whole, wrestling won't automatically drown in the wake left by the aircraft carrier known as mixed-martial arts.
(As an aside, for all you MMA fans out there who are pissed off at Skip Bayless for implying the sport is worked... don't waste your breath. He makes a habit out of dissing Philadelphia fans using the most inane logic and most sweeping generalizations possible. He's not worth it.)
Two nights later, Monday Night RAW aired to very little fanfare initially, but it turned out to be a pretty entertaining show featuring some comedic interjections from Seth Green.
Now, you may be asking yourself, what does one have to do with the other, other than Lesnar's past with the WWE making the comparison superficially germane? Simple. This could be professional wrestling's death knell as a mainstream player in America. Yeah, I know, it seems like hyperbole, but that's only if you don't account for how popular MMA is becoming in this country. If you just watch ESPN, you'd think that MMA is just for the fringe. It certainly got that kind of coverage, no more than what the English Premiere League, the NHL or the Tour de France would get. God forbid they take any time away from covering which Yankee player is having indigestion, Who's Now or the in-depth reasons on why Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson on the eve of her birthday.
But the numbers don't lie. The 1.5M buy projection probably will not be too far off the truth. Compare that to WrestleMania this year; the grandadddy of them all did about 900K or so. People blamed the economy. Even so, UFC did 600K more buys. Yeah. Couple that with Facebook and Twitter activity for the event going off the charts. UFC 100 trended at or close to the top. The only other sporting-related topic that came remotely close was the murder of boxer Arturo Gatti.
But death knell? It could happen. Let's face it. MMA is a giant. It's a monster. People love it because it's real, the people are real. The charisma shown isn't clouded by the stigma of cheese that can come with pro wrestling. It would take a lot to derail its momentum right now, like people dying every other card from here on out, or the admission that it was indeed worked, or that steroids are a bigger problem there than in pro wrestling. Even then, it would probably take a combination of those things instead of just one catastrophic moment of epic fail. And what does the WWE have to counter it?
John Cena. Triple H. Jeff Hardy. Not exactly a murderer's row there. Sure, wrestling fans may love them. I like them, well, two-thirds of them. Fuck Triple H. (someone at PTC just won $1000 vBucks :p) But it's not like having 1965 Buddy Rodgers, 1987 Hulk Hogan and 2000 Rock on the roster.
Even now, in the sort of upspike that wrestling has seemingly gone through in the last five years, ratings aren't changing all that much. PPV buys and house show gates may be marginally improving. The growth rates and the gross numbers aren't even trending close to MMA. For years since he bought WCW, Vince McMahon has been working under the assumption that he had no more competition in the sports entertainment business and was now competing with other prime-time television dramas and reality shows. He was wrong. He underestimated MMA, UFC particularly, and now, he's behind the 8-ball. They're going to leech his audience to the point where if there were fans of both deciding what they were going to spend their disposable income on that month, they'd probably spend it on UFC rather than WWE for PPV.
So what can McMahon do to overtake the lead? Nothing short of finding the next big guy. That is to say he's not catching with MMA anytime soon. The thing is, he shouldn't even try. It's too late. The shame part of it is that RAW wasn't completely awful last night. In fact, in the last few months, RAW's quality has sort of fluctuated. That being said, the highs are pretty high. But last night, you had a mainstream crossover that didn't completely feel embarrassing to watch, a guest host who was funny and popped the crowd in a wrestling match without tarishing the credibility of the wrestlers (Seth Green > Shane McMahon in that regard). You had good wrestling action, some good promos. And the best part? NO PROLONGED RECAPS!!! IT WAS FUCKIN' AWESOME!!! BAHAHAH... *ahem*, excuse me. I mean, if they stayed at that quality every week, I'd be a happy wrestling fan.
But then again, I don't like MMA all that much to begin with. It's not me VKM has to worry about keeping happy. That's why RAW couldn't afford to be just good last night. Last night's show was already kinda doomed by the Home Run Derby, but coming in the wake of the biggest MMA show ever? FUGGEDDABOUTIT!
Now that the game has changed, McMahon and crew need to bring their A material every week. First thing's first, they need to start creating new main event stars. While finding a new Rock/Hogan/Austin is unlikely at best, it's still possible, and you aren't going to find him by recycling the same old Orton/Trips/Cena/Batista/Hardy/Edge main programs. They need to find out what they have with guys like MVP, Jack SWAGGAH~!, The Miz, Christian and Shelton Benjamin, among others. At worst, they have a bunch of other guys to throw in the main event and potentially draw them money on the Trips/Cena/J. Hardy level.
Two, they need to learn the lesson from the Trump RAW three weeks ago and lessen the commercial time on the show. Supplement the revenue lost from the cut commercials by presenting certain portions of the program from them. I mean, it worked with Kentucky Grilled Chicken. I'm sure there will be other companies wanting to get their new or revamped products out there.
Third, they need to up the quality level, up the intelligence. Even if they don't draw in new audience, they need to show potential sponsors that they market to an audience that, y'know, HAS disposable income. That way, they can charge more for commercials, run fewer commercials... you get the idea.
Again, none of this will give the WWE the inside track at beating out MMA, but what it will do is keep people's options open. People will have a harder time shunning the WWE and pro wrestling completely if what's accessible to them is a quality product (which rules out TNA completely), and if it ever comes to a sink-or-swim moment for the company and the industry on a whole, wrestling won't automatically drown in the wake left by the aircraft carrier known as mixed-martial arts.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Friday Five Answer Compendium
On a Monday, no less :) Still, Monday is a slogging day, and we need any reminder of Friday to help us through. Without further ado:
After the jump...Tag Teams
1. What is your favorite all-time tag team?
It would be too easy to say the Road Warriors, but I only really saw them after their real heyday in the NWA in the 80s. So my answer is Edge and Christian. Great comedic heel workers, and they're two of my favorites now that they're singles workers as well.
2. What has been the best tag match you've seen in the last year?
Claudio Castignioli, Bryan Danielson and Dave Taylor vs. Eddie Kingston, Grizzly Redwood and Brodie Lee at Chikara King of Trios night one.
3. Could a six-man title work nowadays?
In Chikara, yes. In the WWE or TNA? Only if they learned how to manage their rosters instead of being lazy and future endeavoring everyone who doesn't get over right away. This goes double for the WWE, since they have THREE FUCKING BRANDS that they could feature a trios belt.
4. Is the "enemies winning the Tag Titles" angle played out?
It was great for Austin and Michaels back in the day given the circumstances. Every time since then, it's been played.
5. If you could take anyone in wrestling today and create your own "Smackdown Six" to build a program around, who would it be?
Tyson Kidd and DH Smith (heel) vs. Evan Bourne and Bryan Danielson (face) vs. CM Punk and Colt Cabana (tweener)
PPV Extravaganzas
1. What was the first PPV card you remember watching?
WrestleMania VII. I was amped for it too because of Hogan/Slaughter.
2. Should they bring back brand-exclusive PPVs in the WWE?
YES! Advertising and making people care about the product was more the issue than Smackdown or ECW being "inferior" brands. That way, you can have prolonged feuds with guys wrestling for three PPVs in a row without it seeming like overkill.
3. What PPV main event do you remember thinking "Man, there's no way this is going to be any good," and then were suprised at how good it was?
No Way Out 2009, which had two really good Elimination Chamber matches and a pretty cool HBK/JBL match. I thought the card would have been donkey shit. Oh yeah, and Travis Beaven brought that Obamatized Santino sign.
4. Would you consider buying a PPV from a company that didn't have regular, widespread American TV coverage? (ie, Chikara, ROH, NJPW, AAA, etc.)
Fuck and yes. If Chikara were to announce a PPV, I'd order it yesterday.
5. Predict WrestleMania XXVII's main event (not 2010, but 2011).
The cynic in me says John Cena vs. Randy Orton. The optimist says Triple H vs. MVP with MVP going over.
Heels and Heeldom
1. Do you root for heels, and if so, when in your wrestling fandom did you start?
Sometimes. I root for wrestlers, not alignments. The first heel I sorta rooted for was Yokozuna, but the first one I really started getting into was Chris Jericho
2. What is your favorite style of heel?
Chickenshit
3. Do you think that that the roles of face and heel are too blurry today?
Yes and no. I think that too many faces do heelish things and that they also don't have the heels act any differently. I would love to see things go to a place where people didn't root for someone on alignment and that wrestlers acted a certain way all the time instead of having several turns over the course of a career. That would allow people in, say, Philadelphia to give a face reaction to someone who'd get booed out of the arena in, say, Dallas.
4. What was the dumbest heel turn of all-time?
Rikishi after it was revealed that he ran over Steve Austin.
5. Best heel of all-time... who is it?
Ric Flair, with Roddy Piper and Ted DiBiase close behind and the Dudley Boys having an honorable mention for getting every East Coast crowd to want to kill them in their ECW days.
Tournament Time
1. What was your favorite tournament in wrestling, all-time?
Suepr J-Cup 1994, with the first PPV-televized KotR as a distant second.
2. Aside from Steve Austin, do you think there was anyone who really used King of the Ring to vault themselves further than what they already were?
Bret Hart and Kurt Angle are the only ones that you can make a good argument for. Every one else was either a bad choice or cursed in some way.
3. True or false: There definitely needs to be a good, tag team tournament in one of the big feds.
FUCK YES! If the WWE were really serious about revitalizing their tag team division, they'd run a tournament to establish it.
4. Should the WWE bring back King of the Ring as a PPV event?
I'm on the fence on this one. I like the idea of one-night tournaments, but KotR denotes that one of the top names should win. I'd say they need to bring back a one-nighter, but rename it as "Breakout Cup" (lame name, short notice, bite me) or something and try to elevate someone with it.
5. Eight men, one night, one venue. Book your dream tournament.
Chris Jericho, Austin Aries, Mike Quackenbush (whom I forgot to mention in the sorting bin and would put as one of my favorites), Rey Mysterio, CM Punk, Claudio Castagnioli, Bryan Danielson and The Great Sasuske. ECW Arena. Jericho d. Mysterio, Quack d. Punk, Danielson d. Castagnioli, Aries d. Sasuke. Jericho d. Quack. Aries d. Danielson. Jericho d. Aries.
Fussin' and Feudin'
1. What makes up a good feud in your mind?
Three things: both guys seem evenly matched to the point where you can realistically believe either guy can go over, the matches are good, and the storylines associated aren't ass-tarded.
2. What two wrestlers do you think would have had a great feud but never had the chance to back in the day?
Michaels and Savage. If Michaels' singles push started a year earlier, he could have had a raucously great feud with the Macho Man.
3. What was the feud you had the highest hopes for but ended up fizzling out?
Jericho and Benoit vs. Trips and Austin, through no fault of any party involved though
4. Does the WWE overkill feuds today with having the same match happen at four or more PPVs in a row?
Yes. Part of it is the schedule, but part of it is that they act like no one has a memory longer than three weeks. Nothing's memorable because they do it to death and there's too much sensory overload.
5. Best feud ever. NAME IT!
Flair/Steamboat
Puroresu
1. Are you an avid watcher of puro?
No, but I want to be. I've seen enough of it to want to get into it.
2. If you answered yes to 1, what is your opinion of it, and if you answered no, what is your preconceived notion towards it, be it ignorant or informed?
Head-dropping, intricate psychology and a bad rap for no-selling that's only partially true.
3. Who was your favorite Japanese wrestler to cross over to America?
Full-time, Yoshihiro Tajiri. Part-time, The Great Sasuke.
4. Do you think their style of big moves, clean finishes, emphasis on strikes, varied match finishes (i.e. not just finisher or flash pin to end a match) and closeness to "real sport" would fly in America? If not all of it, what aspects?
All of it can work, especially in pro wrestling where there's limitless potential to create unique matches between two of the same individuals.
5. Does the fact that Misawa died in the ring turn you off to becoming a puro fan in the future?
Not at all.
Dub-See-Dub
1. Who was the closest WCW original in your opinion to reaching the level of Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin or The Rock?
Ric Flair at the beginning, Goldberg near the end.
2. What was your favorite WCW match?
Benoit/Hart, Owen Tribute Match
3. Where did WCW ultimately start go go wrong in your opinion?
Sting/Hogan at Starrcade with the fast count that wasn't fast
4. Would they have benefitted from having a better PBP guy than Tony Schiavone?
YES! If I had to hear "This is the greatest night in the history of our sport" any more than I did, I'd have thrown a brick through my TV.
5. Was WCW a vanity project for Ted Turner?
It started out that way, but later on, the vanity was passed on, to Hogan, Bischoff, Dusty, Russo, anyone who could get their hands on the book and push themselves. If they had spent more time building new stars and their own identity (which they started to with the cruiser division and the "invasion" storyline), they'd be around today.
USA~! USA~!
1. Who was your favorite United States Champion?
That I've seen? Probably MVP, who did a lot to legitimize the belt recently. Old-school WCW, I'd go with Raven.
2. Is the foreign menace still a good way to get a heel over to the main event?
If booked smartly, maybe. The majority of wrestling crowds seem to skew conservative, so it could work. Still though, America's getting smarter, and I think a better heel that has been virtually untapped would be a Democrat/Liberal.
3. When you were younger, did you try to do wrestling moves in the pool?
Fuck yeah! That was about the only opportunity I had to do them without hurting myself trying to perform them :p
4. Lex Luger, Hulk Hogan, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, "The Patriot" Del Wilkes or Kurt Angle (or other): Which one was the quintessential all-American face and why?
Hacksaw Jim Duggan, because he's the only one who made it a part of his gimmick and did it so well.
5. If you were going to invite five wrestlers to a cookout, which ones would you invite?
Chris Jericho for the awesomeness, Steve Austin for the beer, Ted DiBiase for the Kobe beef burgers, Jim Ross for the BBQ sauce and Jimmy Wang Yang for the fireworks
Women in Wrestling
1. Who has the best women's scene today, TNA, WWE or the indies?
I don't follow the indie scene as much, but I will say TNA's women are overrated while the WWE's... well RAW's are underrated, but Smackdown's suck
2. What is your feeling on man-woman violence in wrestling?
Domestic abuse should never be depicted. That being said, as long as the women are portrayed to at least look like they belong in the altercation, I see no problem with it.
3. All-time best valet. Name her.
Sensational Sherri
4. All-time best women's wrestler. Name her.
Bull Nakano
5. All-time hottest woman in wrestling. Name her.
Tammy Lynn Sytch, circa 1996 or Trish Stratus. Take your pick.
After the jump...Tag Teams
1. What is your favorite all-time tag team?
It would be too easy to say the Road Warriors, but I only really saw them after their real heyday in the NWA in the 80s. So my answer is Edge and Christian. Great comedic heel workers, and they're two of my favorites now that they're singles workers as well.
2. What has been the best tag match you've seen in the last year?
Claudio Castignioli, Bryan Danielson and Dave Taylor vs. Eddie Kingston, Grizzly Redwood and Brodie Lee at Chikara King of Trios night one.
3. Could a six-man title work nowadays?
In Chikara, yes. In the WWE or TNA? Only if they learned how to manage their rosters instead of being lazy and future endeavoring everyone who doesn't get over right away. This goes double for the WWE, since they have THREE FUCKING BRANDS that they could feature a trios belt.
4. Is the "enemies winning the Tag Titles" angle played out?
It was great for Austin and Michaels back in the day given the circumstances. Every time since then, it's been played.
5. If you could take anyone in wrestling today and create your own "Smackdown Six" to build a program around, who would it be?
Tyson Kidd and DH Smith (heel) vs. Evan Bourne and Bryan Danielson (face) vs. CM Punk and Colt Cabana (tweener)
PPV Extravaganzas
1. What was the first PPV card you remember watching?
WrestleMania VII. I was amped for it too because of Hogan/Slaughter.
2. Should they bring back brand-exclusive PPVs in the WWE?
YES! Advertising and making people care about the product was more the issue than Smackdown or ECW being "inferior" brands. That way, you can have prolonged feuds with guys wrestling for three PPVs in a row without it seeming like overkill.
3. What PPV main event do you remember thinking "Man, there's no way this is going to be any good," and then were suprised at how good it was?
No Way Out 2009, which had two really good Elimination Chamber matches and a pretty cool HBK/JBL match. I thought the card would have been donkey shit. Oh yeah, and Travis Beaven brought that Obamatized Santino sign.
4. Would you consider buying a PPV from a company that didn't have regular, widespread American TV coverage? (ie, Chikara, ROH, NJPW, AAA, etc.)
Fuck and yes. If Chikara were to announce a PPV, I'd order it yesterday.
5. Predict WrestleMania XXVII's main event (not 2010, but 2011).
The cynic in me says John Cena vs. Randy Orton. The optimist says Triple H vs. MVP with MVP going over.
Heels and Heeldom
1. Do you root for heels, and if so, when in your wrestling fandom did you start?
Sometimes. I root for wrestlers, not alignments. The first heel I sorta rooted for was Yokozuna, but the first one I really started getting into was Chris Jericho
2. What is your favorite style of heel?
Chickenshit
3. Do you think that that the roles of face and heel are too blurry today?
Yes and no. I think that too many faces do heelish things and that they also don't have the heels act any differently. I would love to see things go to a place where people didn't root for someone on alignment and that wrestlers acted a certain way all the time instead of having several turns over the course of a career. That would allow people in, say, Philadelphia to give a face reaction to someone who'd get booed out of the arena in, say, Dallas.
4. What was the dumbest heel turn of all-time?
Rikishi after it was revealed that he ran over Steve Austin.
5. Best heel of all-time... who is it?
Ric Flair, with Roddy Piper and Ted DiBiase close behind and the Dudley Boys having an honorable mention for getting every East Coast crowd to want to kill them in their ECW days.
Tournament Time
1. What was your favorite tournament in wrestling, all-time?
Suepr J-Cup 1994, with the first PPV-televized KotR as a distant second.
2. Aside from Steve Austin, do you think there was anyone who really used King of the Ring to vault themselves further than what they already were?
Bret Hart and Kurt Angle are the only ones that you can make a good argument for. Every one else was either a bad choice or cursed in some way.
3. True or false: There definitely needs to be a good, tag team tournament in one of the big feds.
FUCK YES! If the WWE were really serious about revitalizing their tag team division, they'd run a tournament to establish it.
4. Should the WWE bring back King of the Ring as a PPV event?
I'm on the fence on this one. I like the idea of one-night tournaments, but KotR denotes that one of the top names should win. I'd say they need to bring back a one-nighter, but rename it as "Breakout Cup" (lame name, short notice, bite me) or something and try to elevate someone with it.
5. Eight men, one night, one venue. Book your dream tournament.
Chris Jericho, Austin Aries, Mike Quackenbush (whom I forgot to mention in the sorting bin and would put as one of my favorites), Rey Mysterio, CM Punk, Claudio Castagnioli, Bryan Danielson and The Great Sasuske. ECW Arena. Jericho d. Mysterio, Quack d. Punk, Danielson d. Castagnioli, Aries d. Sasuke. Jericho d. Quack. Aries d. Danielson. Jericho d. Aries.
Fussin' and Feudin'
1. What makes up a good feud in your mind?
Three things: both guys seem evenly matched to the point where you can realistically believe either guy can go over, the matches are good, and the storylines associated aren't ass-tarded.
2. What two wrestlers do you think would have had a great feud but never had the chance to back in the day?
Michaels and Savage. If Michaels' singles push started a year earlier, he could have had a raucously great feud with the Macho Man.
3. What was the feud you had the highest hopes for but ended up fizzling out?
Jericho and Benoit vs. Trips and Austin, through no fault of any party involved though
4. Does the WWE overkill feuds today with having the same match happen at four or more PPVs in a row?
Yes. Part of it is the schedule, but part of it is that they act like no one has a memory longer than three weeks. Nothing's memorable because they do it to death and there's too much sensory overload.
5. Best feud ever. NAME IT!
Flair/Steamboat
Puroresu
1. Are you an avid watcher of puro?
No, but I want to be. I've seen enough of it to want to get into it.
2. If you answered yes to 1, what is your opinion of it, and if you answered no, what is your preconceived notion towards it, be it ignorant or informed?
Head-dropping, intricate psychology and a bad rap for no-selling that's only partially true.
3. Who was your favorite Japanese wrestler to cross over to America?
Full-time, Yoshihiro Tajiri. Part-time, The Great Sasuke.
4. Do you think their style of big moves, clean finishes, emphasis on strikes, varied match finishes (i.e. not just finisher or flash pin to end a match) and closeness to "real sport" would fly in America? If not all of it, what aspects?
All of it can work, especially in pro wrestling where there's limitless potential to create unique matches between two of the same individuals.
5. Does the fact that Misawa died in the ring turn you off to becoming a puro fan in the future?
Not at all.
Dub-See-Dub
1. Who was the closest WCW original in your opinion to reaching the level of Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin or The Rock?
Ric Flair at the beginning, Goldberg near the end.
2. What was your favorite WCW match?
Benoit/Hart, Owen Tribute Match
3. Where did WCW ultimately start go go wrong in your opinion?
Sting/Hogan at Starrcade with the fast count that wasn't fast
4. Would they have benefitted from having a better PBP guy than Tony Schiavone?
YES! If I had to hear "This is the greatest night in the history of our sport" any more than I did, I'd have thrown a brick through my TV.
5. Was WCW a vanity project for Ted Turner?
It started out that way, but later on, the vanity was passed on, to Hogan, Bischoff, Dusty, Russo, anyone who could get their hands on the book and push themselves. If they had spent more time building new stars and their own identity (which they started to with the cruiser division and the "invasion" storyline), they'd be around today.
USA~! USA~!
1. Who was your favorite United States Champion?
That I've seen? Probably MVP, who did a lot to legitimize the belt recently. Old-school WCW, I'd go with Raven.
2. Is the foreign menace still a good way to get a heel over to the main event?
If booked smartly, maybe. The majority of wrestling crowds seem to skew conservative, so it could work. Still though, America's getting smarter, and I think a better heel that has been virtually untapped would be a Democrat/Liberal.
3. When you were younger, did you try to do wrestling moves in the pool?
Fuck yeah! That was about the only opportunity I had to do them without hurting myself trying to perform them :p
4. Lex Luger, Hulk Hogan, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, "The Patriot" Del Wilkes or Kurt Angle (or other): Which one was the quintessential all-American face and why?
Hacksaw Jim Duggan, because he's the only one who made it a part of his gimmick and did it so well.
5. If you were going to invite five wrestlers to a cookout, which ones would you invite?
Chris Jericho for the awesomeness, Steve Austin for the beer, Ted DiBiase for the Kobe beef burgers, Jim Ross for the BBQ sauce and Jimmy Wang Yang for the fireworks
Women in Wrestling
1. Who has the best women's scene today, TNA, WWE or the indies?
I don't follow the indie scene as much, but I will say TNA's women are overrated while the WWE's... well RAW's are underrated, but Smackdown's suck
2. What is your feeling on man-woman violence in wrestling?
Domestic abuse should never be depicted. That being said, as long as the women are portrayed to at least look like they belong in the altercation, I see no problem with it.
3. All-time best valet. Name her.
Sensational Sherri
4. All-time best women's wrestler. Name her.
Bull Nakano
5. All-time hottest woman in wrestling. Name her.
Tammy Lynn Sytch, circa 1996 or Trish Stratus. Take your pick.
The Best Moves Ever: SSP
The Shooting Star Press has become the sort of benchmark of high-flying moves allowed in the mainstream (read: WWE). It has been done by only a few people stateside, most recently by Evan Bourne. The move's origin comes from Japan though, by the legendary Jushin Thunder Liger. Liger innovated the move, and here's one of the early uses of it from 1990:
For fans like us who've seen this move done from standing position, it might not be all that impressive to watch, but at the time, as with many of the things that folks like Liger, Sasuske, Benoit, Guerrero, Art Barr, Misawa, Kawada and the like were doing, it was a sight to behold.
For fans like us who've seen this move done from standing position, it might not be all that impressive to watch, but at the time, as with many of the things that folks like Liger, Sasuske, Benoit, Guerrero, Art Barr, Misawa, Kawada and the like were doing, it was a sight to behold.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Santino Marella: Comedic God Among Men
Thanks to PTC poster JesusVonKillyourfamily for finding this gem. This is from a 15-man battle royale in Brisbane, Australia. Thank God for illegally smuggled-in camcorders!
Seriously, after watching that, is there any doubt that Santino should get at least a half-hour every week to make everyone laugh? It's amazing that Triple H could keep a straight face there. I saw Cena cracking up.
Seriously, after watching that, is there any doubt that Santino should get at least a half-hour every week to make everyone laugh? It's amazing that Triple H could keep a straight face there. I saw Cena cracking up.
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