Instant Feedback: Mark Henry Is No Randy Savage

I love Mark Henry (no homo). I really do. Guy's underrated as hell as a worker, and he's got an understated charisma that can be misinterpreted by some as having none. It was used for just that tonight, Miz accusing Henry of not having any personality. So, what did Henry do? He attempted to rap, thus, redefining the term epic fail for the evening.

Yeah, big mistake. The rapping granny from The Wedding Singer had more rhythm. Stick to your day job, Mark.

Par for the course, I suppose. RAW felt uneven tonight, although it wasn't for lack of trying. Verne Troyer actually showed enthusiasm for the product, interacted with guys (midcarders even!) and tried his best to be a positive part of the show. The problem was that he looked and sounded so frail that it was hard for me to even look at him. God bless the crowd for popping for him, I don't know if I would have been able to do it.

Other than that, I didn't really find all that much glaringly wrong with tonight's episode. That being said, it really wasn't all that memorable either. They advanced the Kofi/Orton feud nicely without really damaging the up-and-coming Kingston, but there was nothing happening that was as memorable as Kofi landing the double legs across Orton through the table at MSG (which is a good thing I suppose). John Cena called out Sheamus and got Carlito. Could have been interesting, and Carlito probably had a bunch of Internet Cena haters nodding in agreement, but it ended up with Carlito getting buried and a confrontation that Sheamus backed out of in order to get more heat for him, which worked. (BTW, I'm not all that broken up about Carlito's fate... he did get to cut a promo, and really, I don't like him all that much anyway).

However, regarding Sheamus, they're treading carefully. Having him back down from Cena was a smart move to get him heat without having him destroy Cena again and thus play up the "the odds are against Cena" angle yet again. Plus, he destroyed Santino and looked like a beast doing it.

The best part? We weren't subjected to a potentially awful Little People's Court segment, and furthermore, Triple H and HBK were allowed to shine as wrestlers and not caricatures for the most part. The main event was pretty good too.

While I can't find anything glaringly wrong with RAW, and while I did enjoy it for the most part, it didn't have the energy that it had last week, and that was even with the shorter runtime. I guess you can't have 'em all though.

Open the Freedom Gate: Or How a Car Accident Got Hallowicked on PPV

Just got back from the third DGUSA card, Open the Freedom Gate, where they crowned their first ever American-based Champion. Hey, remember when I predicted that it would be Davey Richards going over CIMA for the Open the Freedom Gate Championship? Yeah, I was way off. Neither guy was involved in the final fall.

I sprung for the upgrade and got to catch the dark matches. There were supposed to be three, but we were all informed that the start of the festivities would be delayed by about 15 minutes to allow all the fans to be able to get to The Arena, as there was a nasty accident on the PA Turnpike. Then, they announced that Jigsaw, who was slated to be in the six-man qualifier for the title, and Eddie Kingston, who was scheduled to be in the main dark match against Hallowicked, were caught in that traffic jam. Neither of them made it on time, so Hallowicked got bumped up to the qualifier, and then Kingston and Jigsaw were put in a match that actually made the PPV. Score for both King and Wicked!

The first dark match featured Kyle O'Reilly and Adam Cole, two up-and-comers. The crowd was hot for O'Reilly, who came out dressed in Irish-themed tights and to the Dropkick Murphys' "Shipping Up to Boston". Fun match, and O'Reilly really likes to use chain move combos. He won the match with a tornado DDT rolled into a brainbuster.

Next up, B-Boy, a familiar name whom I'd never seen before, took on Jon Moxley. Moxley had like no heat whatsoever, and was really bland. The crowd ate up B-Boy, who looked like Homicide missing some of his front teeth. Okay match that ended way too abruptly and haphazardly. Moxley hit a double-knee armbreaker out of nowhere (and not in a good, hey-the-Diamond-Cutter-can-finish-you-at-any-time out of nowhere either) and then B-Boy weakly tapped to a Fujiwara armbar. Yawn.

PPV cameras started rolling after that, and we were off with our first qualifying match, Hallowicked vs. Johnny Gargano vs. Gran Akuma vs. Lince Dorado vs. the Young Bucks. This was a very fast-paced, very indieriffic spotfest that made the most out of displaying everyone's strengths. The Bucks teased implosion throughout the match, but worked as a team for the most part until about three-quarters into the match. They tussled and the crowd ate it up. Some really jaw-dropping spots, mostly perpetrated by Lince, who cleared the guardrails on a plancha. Amazing. Akuma took the finish by hitting Gargano with a head-and-arm spider superplex and then a moonsault in rapid succession.

The next qualifier was one of the two singles matches, BxB Hulk taking on Brian Kendrick. Okay match, not much to write home about. Crowd was red-hot for Hulk though, lukewarm for Kendrick. Hulk won, and then afterwards, Kendrick cut a strange promo about how he was an artist and how he was in it for himself. He verbally threatened both ring announcer Brian Harvey and referee extraordinaire Bryce Remsberg and threw what amounted to a temper tantrum in the ring when everyone came out of the back (and by everyone, I mean Cole, O'Reilly and Moxley). Moxley got on the stick, said something that agree with what Kendrick was saying and then both of them started beating up on everyone in the vicinity. I'm guessing they'll be a tag team in the future, especially should they add tag belts for the American side (and with the Bucks, Doi/Yoshino, CIMA/Susumu, that Jimmy Jacobs vehicle they debuted in Chicago, YAMATO/Akuma and of course, the Open the Twin Gate Champions Genki Horiguchi and Ryo Saito, they certainly have enough tag teams).

Third qualifier was the Salute to Skayde, which pitted Skayde himself, Jorge Rivera against CIMA, Super Crazy and Mike Quackenbush. Very fast-paced lucha-fest. The best part of the match was Rivera and all his lucha wizardry. CIMA got the win though, which prompted a shove from Quack post-match. Don't know what they're going for exactly, but I'm guessing it'll be a feud between Skayde's two best pupils who aren't getting tossed around by Batista in the WWE.

The final qualifier and the final match for the first half of the card pitted Davey Richards against YAMATO. It was a fine match, alright, Richards with his kicks and YAMATO with his various arm strikes. Richards got some major air on a shooting star press that YAMATO actually blocked. The spot of the match came early as Richards knocked YAMATO into the front row of the crowd onto some fans with a big strike, so much so that the crowd chanted "She's hardcore!" at the chick they landed on for taking it so well.

Both guys were set up as major heels on previous cards, but both guys got really good reactions from the crowd as faces. Weird. Anyway, my prediction of Richards being the first OtFG Champion was shot to hell when YAMATO pinned him clean with the Galleria (go to about 2:10 on the video). I was stunned. Crowd loved it regardless, although I thought the match went about five minutes too long.

The best three matches of the night took place after intermission. The first one was the aforementioned battle between the two guys late to the show, Kingston and Jigsaw. If you've seen either guy wrestle in Chikara, it was like that. Very fun match, a lot of energy, a lot of counters and strikes. Kingston caught a lot of shit from the crowd for his weight. IF he can't escape that in an indie crowd, imagine how he'd be treated in the WWE should he make it there. Anyway, Jig won with a double stomp from the top.

THe next match was one-half of the main event and the match of the night from where I sat. Masato Yoshino teamed up with Naruki Doi to take on Shingo and Dragon Kid. This is the match that stemmed from Yoshino refusing to shake Kid's hand after the match they had in Chicago. This was what we'd come to expect from the DGUSA wrestlers. Lighting-fast action, a lot of high-impact moves, a lot of drama and a lot of stiffness. Match ended with Dragon Kid tapping to Yoshino with the Sol Naciente (0:59 on the vid). Afterwards, Yoshino mockingly offered his hand to Kid, which got Shingo's panties in a bunch. After Shingo and Kid were separated from them and left, the Bucks came out and challenged Yoshino and Doi to a tag match "any time, any place", which I'm assuming will either be at the next Chicago show or at the big WrestleMania shows in Phoenix. Again, I'm sensing the construction of a tag division.

The final match was the four-way elimination for the title, Akuma vs. Hulk vs. CIMA vs. YAMATO. Another fine, fun match. Akuma and YAMATO, best buds from when they ran down Quack and Skayde and double-teamed Quack and then Jig at the first DGUSA show, teamed up the entire match. In a funny bit, CIMA feigned alliance with Hulk, attacked him, offered a 3-on-1 with Akuma and YAMATO and then got attacked by the two rudos. CIMA is a riot. Really great performer all-around. I thought he'd be the one to take the final fall against Richards. He was the first to be eliminated, taking a fall against YAMATO. The two heels worked over Hulk, but Hulk worked back and found a way to take out Akuma, which left him and YAMATO for the title. Hulk, the crowd firmly behind him, took out YAMATO with a sitout tombstone and became the first ever OtFG Champion.

Post-match, Richards came out, said that there were two ways to put a Champion on notice, one being to challenge him, and before he came with the second one, he put a boot to Hulk's midsection. YAMATO came out and joined in the beatdown.

My final thought was that it was good but disappointing. The first half of the card felt like it dragged, something I didn't get at any point in the first card. I guess they set the bar so high with the first Philly card that my expectations were too high going in. Still, the second half more than made up for it, and I think that if they kept coming with shows of this caliber that it'll be a worthy once-a-year expense for a live ticket and very worth following on DVD or Youtube.

Chikara DVD Review TWO PACK: Anniversario Yang and the 2009 Sampler

While other crazies are out shopping and fighting each other for the last Zhu Zhu (or whatever the frig the hot toy of the year is), I set out to establish a-day-after-Thanksgiving tradition of my own: watching enough wrestling to make even the smarkiest smarks bleed from the eyeballs. That plan was partially thwarted as I was called into work (BOOO!), but I did get in some good viewing. ECW and TNA was viewed in the morning (the former was alright but not the best, the latter was good if only because the matches didn't suck), and then afterwards, it was onto the main event, a doubleheader of Chikara DVDs, Aniversario Yang (held May 24th) and the Sampler, which had matches from various points in the year on it.

If you don't know about Chikara's DVDs, a primer. The production values aren't slick. You aren't going to see blazing graphics, HD resolution or anything in the way of effects. This is like ECW-level (and not WWE-ECW either). However, one doesn't buy a Chikara DVD for the outstanding production.

Secondly, they don't have a steady announce team for any card. They have a rotating announce team consisting of a handful of guys take turns announcing each match. For both DVDs, we have ring announcer extraordinnaire Louden Noxious, senior referee and meter of justice Bryce Remsberg, Director of Fun Leonard F. Chikarason, senior Wrestle Factory trainer and Master of 1000 holds Mike Quackenbush, evil insectoid overlord UltraMantis Black and the Last of a Dying Breed, Eddie Kingston.

Aniversario YangAY was a solid wrestling event, no weak matches and two really solid matches anchoring the top of the card. The opener was a shortish fun match featuring Los Ice Creams taking on the Roughnecks of Brodie Lee and Grizzly Redwood. This was basically the second generation dairy luchadors tooling the straight-man Roughnecks team, who sold their antics pretty well. The best was Los Ice Creams climbing the corners repeatedly for pops, much to the annoyance of Brodie and Grizzly. Kingston was on commentary for this match, talking up his stablemates. He kept referring to Grizzly as "Brodie's boy" when he was doing bad and then talking him up when he was doing well. Classic. The finish was nice too, Grizzly pinning both Ice Creams at the same time with the help of Brodie's foot on his back.

Ophidian and Arik Cannon in a singles match next. It started off slow, but then went into countermania, the best being Ophidian countering a brainbuster almost surprisingly smoothly into the Ophidian Death Grip (cobra clutch for the uninitiated). I didn't like the finish because I don't normally like Dusty finishes, but at least they kept the Amasis interference to a simplistic minimum.

Third match on the card was a trios match between the Order of the Neo Solar Temple, featuring Mantis, Crossbones and a freshly-hypnotized Delirious at the time taking on the Saturday Night Slam Masters, aka the Super Smash Bros. and Create-a-Wrestler. I like CAW in his regular form, but if given the choice, I really, really hope they break tradition and let him stay Dasher Hatfield forever and ever. Anyway, kind of a sloppy match, but still entertaining. Most notable was Player Dos' struggles performing power moves on the MASSIVE Crossbones. He failed with the body slam early, but hit a friggin' impressive looking Death Valley driver later on. Still, the ONST took the win.

Fourth match featured the Unstable teaming of Colin Delaney, who is easily the most entertaining heel who doesn't wear a snake mask in the company, and Vin Gerard taking on D'Lo Brown and Glacier. If you remember back to my review of KoT night 1, the Unstable got a win in the main event over Brown, Glacier and Al Snow. Furthermore, Vin Gerard had two unanswered wins against Glacier at that point. I have to say, D'Lo's facial expressions during the match were awesome. The guy is emotive and knows how to play to a crowd. The match finished up with D'Lo locking Delaney in the Chikara Special, which was a nice nod to the company and everything.

Next up was a pseudo-squash, 2.0, a team consisting of IWS mainstays Jagged and Shane Matthews, taking it to the Sea Donsters, featuring Hydra and Tim Donst. If you've been following Chikara recently, you know they split up at YLC VII and now Hydra is bye-bye after losing a Loser Leaves Town match at the season's penultimate show in Easton (the Season Finale saw Vökoder reveal himself as Tim Donst... Donst is Vökoder? Vökoder is Donst???), and this match is where it started after Hydra took the pin in short and too-easy a fashion. The best parts of the match were the pre-match "promo" from 2.0 where they didn't say anything and marquee text at the bottom of the screen said they were keeping their mouths shut til they got their first point, Matthews going apeshit putting everyone, including his partner, into a Boston crab, and of course, Bryce acknowledging Ziasaurus' birthday. She's a good friend of the blog and an occasional reader, so it's awesome hearing that kind of connection to celebrity.

The last match on disc 1 was an atomico, or an 8-man tag team match for the uninitated, pitting Helios, Jigsaw, Lince Dorado and Quack against Hallowicked, Frightmare, Cheech and Cloudy. In a bit of awesome, Cheech and Cloudy both came out dressed as Fright and Wicked, so there were two sets of Incoherence. This match was a bit disappointing though. It exemplified a lot of what I don't like about Americanized indie-lucha in the over contrivation of moves, flips and such. I like a good high-flying wrestler and match (as you'll read later), but a lot of the offense in the match looked unbelievable, like harder to swallow than RVD's WWE offense. Helios is the main offender in that department, but all the entire Future Is Now stable (Lince and Equinox) are guilty of it at times. Still, entertaining fare, with Incoherence Squared picking up the duke.

Disc 2 had the goods though. The first match on that one was a return match between Claudio Castagnoli and Eddie Kingston. I didn't have high hopes for this match since I thought their affair at YLC VII was bland and slow (funny since that match happened after the one I viewed on DVD). It started out that way, but it picked up. Both men showed the storytelling and emotion that will help them succeed at the next level in the spotlight. I especially liked that Kingston won with a Majistrol cradle, brawler outwrestling the wrestler. It was the kind of performance that can get someone to change their mind about a guy like Kingston.

If that match was filled with emotion, story and drama, the main event took that and amped it up a hundred-fold. It was a hair-vs.-masks match between Team FIST (Icarus and Chuck Taylor... Gran Akuma being in it would have been silly since he's already bald!) against The Colony's team of Fire and Soldier Ants. While it didn't have the innate personal vibe to it that Castagnoli/Kingston had, you could tell that it was the end of an intense feud just for the hair/mask stip. You don't have to love lucha libre to know that losing your mask or having to get shaved bald is a big, big deal in wrestling, and these guys wrestled like it. It was jaw-dropping spot after jaw-dropping spot. AT one point, Soldier Ant was carted off to the back after taking an Omega Driver through a table from Taylor, leaving Fire Ant to fend for himself, which he did admirably. When Soldier returned, you could hear the Arena explode. The Colony pulled it out, and even watching six months later, I felt a little emotional and took pride in seeing FIST get shaved bald.

All in all, I'd say that it was a good show. It probably would have felt better being there live, because the Arena is still a great place to watch a show, but hey, it's still great that you can get the feeling for a show on DVD without having great production values.

Sampler 2009Next up on the list was the Sampler, which I got for a scant $2. The first two matches on the DVD were also on AY, so I skipped them. In retrospect, I probably should have gotten another show, but in the long run, who cares?

The first match I did watch was from King of Trios night 3, a semi-final match between the whole of Team FIST and The Future Is Now. Like in the atomico match from AY, I got somewhat annoyed at Helios' mass array of contrived moves, but the other two guys kept it to a minimum. I was a bit disappointed that Gran Akuma didn't kick someone's head off. If it wouldn't spit in the face of continuity or the face/heel spectrum in Chikara, Akuma, Fire Ant and Davey Richards would be one really, really fucking sick King of Trios team for 2010 as a squad that just kicked you into submission. Anyway, FIST won, but you knew that, since they ended up beating Team Uppercut in the finals.

The next match was from KoT night 2, and it could very well be my match of the year. It'll at least be in the top 5. It was a four-way elimination match pitting El Generico, Kota Ibushi, Nick Jackson of the Young Bucks and Jigsaw against each other in the Rey de Voladores tournament, a mini-tournament pitting high-flying wrestlers against each other. This was a spotfest, but it was a mighty spotfest, as each wrestler was game to try and outdo the other one. They gave us a taste of this one in Podcast-a-Go-Go 180, but the entire match proved to be the main course that that clip appetized us for. Any four of these guys could make it in the WWE or TNA with their high-flying skills.

The last match on the compilation was from Revelation X, all the way back from January 25th. It was a Campeonetos de Parejas match (Chikara's Tag Team Championship, for the uninitiated) featuring the Osirian Portal (c) taking on the Colony. Another fantastic match with a lot of great spots, drama and even some comedy mixed in (look for Amasis to sell the shin at a very inappropriate time). The Portal ends up retaining in a relatively clean fashion, but it's very suspenseful and entertaining.

I'm not sure if the Sampler is still available, but you can pick up Aniversario Yang, or any Chikara shows they still have in stock at Smart Mark Video's website. The DVDs are reasonably priced, and it's fun for the whole family. Yeah, I may sound like a shill, but Chikara is a fed I believe in so much. They provide a great alternative for people looking to watch wrestling with a lighter heart or who want a real family friendly promotion, not one that only pays catering to the kids lip-service. It has plenty of colorful characters, great ring action, and hey, it gives you a chance to be on the cutting edge without having to wear skinny jeans or listen to MGMT.

And now, hopefully this will be the start of a new Black Friday tradition. As a wrestling fan, I can't think of a better way to spend the day after gorging my belly with food than gorging my mind with wrestling!

What I'm Thankful For

Thanksgiving is a scant three hours away in the Eastern time zone, and as the name of the holiday suggests, we all give thanks on this day that is also set aside for watching football (or what the Detroit Lions pass off as football) and gorging ourselves on turkey, stuffing, potatoes and pies. So, let me take this opportunity to let you know what I'm thankful for, as a wrestling blogger in the wrestling business.

- Chris Jericho logging the most TV hours on WWE programming, providing enjoyment on both flagship programs and on ECW occasionally. As a Jerichoholic, I'm proud of him and am ecstatic that they count on him, because that means I get to watch him more.

- Living in the most major hub for indie wrestling in America. ROH, Chikara, JAPW, CZW, DGUSA and EVOLVE are just a few feds that run shows regularly in the Philadelphia area, and the major venues they run out of are veritable stones' throws away.

- A roster of varied and diverse talents on WWE television. It used to be that only a handful of guys were worth watching in the 'E. Not anymore. I can count on both hands the guys who induce channel-changing when they enter the ring, something that enhances my enjoyment of all 6 hours of television they put on.

- Austin Aries, Claudio Castagnoli, Delirious, El Generico, the Young Bucks, Colt Cabana and all the other incredibly fun and talented wrestlers who make ROH TV tapings worth going to, even if the booking kinda sucks

- Bryan Danielson getting his chance to get paid the big bucks while being awesome in a WWE ring (when it happens, of course)

- The very existence of Chikara, a fed that combines awesome action with a sense of humor you won't find anywhere else

- That the WWE is taking a chance on CM Punk as a franchise player

- The massive amounts of great wrestling that can be found on DVD, On Demand or on Youtube, especially older footage, keeping the legend of the greats of the past alive and well in the hearts and minds of today's wrestling fans.

And finally, I'm thankful that wrestling exists, because without it, I'd have to find other ways to keep myself busy for hours on end.

Not-So-Instant Feedback: That Sucked Hardcore

I finally caught up with Impact from this past week on my DVR, and let me say, I wasn't impressed at all. Coming off the heels of the most critically acclaimed PPV in the company's recent history, I thought I was in for a treat. Yeah, well that treat didn't come until there were ten minutes left in the show, when there was a decent tag match between Christopher Daniels and Desmond "Nigel" Wolfe, and Kurt Angle and AJ Styles. To be expected, those are four great workers in a setting where they could shine.

Up to that... well, the wrestling was boring at best and horrendous at worst. I don't see where the love for Sarita and Alissa Flash comes from, unless I just watched a rare bad match, because it was terrible. Both women telegraphed spots. I felt like I was watching something fake instead of watching something that was staged (big difference). Oh, and by the way, that run in at the end from Traci Brooks... her punches are so bad they make Shane McMahon look like fucking Floyd Mayweather, Jr. The same kind of unbelievably bad move-botching was present with the six-man rematch. It moved so slow and the action looked so unbelievable that I had to fast forward through it. I mean, those trash-can lid shots D'Angelo Dinero threw at Bubba Ray? Weaker than the weakest weaksauce I've seen in the worst of the watered down 24/7 Hardcore Title days shots. That was just embarrassing. It's clear that the Dudz can't keep up anymore, and I've never really been a fan of Rhino. Hamada/Wilde was okay, but people were pimping it as a match of the week type deal. It just looked like a bunch of spots thrown together. I mean, that's not bad in and of itself, but there was no flow.

Also... who's fucking idea was the ODB interview segment? If I wasn't watching that by myself, I would have been embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. Homicide deserves better, and I suppose ODB does too. Sadly, that was the most memorable backstage segment, other than all the Hogan hype, which I predict will wear thin sooner rather than later. Hogan needs to get his ass there. I don't care if they have a launch date set up. TNA is just not good enough at creating a sustained buzz.

I want to like TNA, and I want it to do well, but they're just not giving me anything to latch onto. Shoddy presentation will do that. The bush-league atmosphere is TNA's biggest problem, and that filters down to the wrestling. If they gave a shit about how they looked appearance wise, then maybe they'd have road agents who cared more about getting matches down pat. It's just a picture of malaise.

I mean for one, the announcers don't know how to get anything over. All the "Titantrons" (for lack of a better term) are bland and repetitive in a bad way. The theme songs don't stick out. The camera work is terrible. I got a more professional vibe watching ECW back in the '90s, and those production values suuuuuucked.

It's just so frustrating to have the one company that could give the WWE a run for its money be so bad. Still, I guess it's worth following for the few good matches and the flashes of brilliance they have every once in a while. I guess.

It's Not Danielson, but It'll Do (Possible Developmental Call-Up)

Via Dot Net

Low Ki, known as Kaval in FCW, worked a dark match at the Smackdown tapings tonight, beating Paul Burchill. While this probably doesn't mean a whole lot in the way of anything, I'm going to put my speculating glasses on and assume that he's on his way to the main roster, probably as Burchill's replacement in ECW. Again, this is only conjecture on my behalf.

Still, this is a good sign, as Ki was battling some injury issues down in FLA. Good to see him back on track and I'm excited to see what he can do if they bring him to ECW.

What They're Saying About Sheamus

What is the web saying about Sheamus' elevation last night?

Good Ol' JR

Sheamus has found himself in a great spot to help begin building his long term foundation in WWE. I read where some pundits felt the incident between the young Irishman and John Cena was "flat." I disagree. Obviously, the crowd sitting in their seats over three hours is challenging, has an influence but isn't the real reason. However, let's all remember that Sheamus hasn't been on Raw in any significant role for, what, a month, 5 weeks? Sheamus has not even been in a long term personal issue with a main event, Raw wrestler yet...until now. Bottom line is that Sheamus' persona is still evolving and the next two weeks and then TLC is highly important to Sheamus' development. At worst, the WWE has made a new, fresh main event for a PPV and from where I sit that is a good thing.

JR has the same outlook as me on this. Great minds think alike!

Interesting to note from the full blog piece, JR doesn't think that The Rock will put the tights on if he hosts RAW. Dang...

Todd Martin

I would have absolutely raved about this show except for the ending... To me, the three big keys to sustained success in wrestling are wrestling ability, speaking ability and charisma. I’m cool with pushing anyone who has any of these elements. But to me, Sheamus has none. He hasn’t shown he can talk. He’s not a good wrestler. And I don’t think he has any charisma. He’s just a big stiff with a gimmicky look. The wrestler he most reminds me of is Mordecai, complete with basically the same finisher. If you don’t remember Mordecai, well, there’s a reason for that. I know Vince will always have the size fetish, but it’s so frustrating that here they are determined to put a new guy in the top picture and it’s this loser instead of one of two dozen more talented and entertaining performers.

I disagree about the assessment of Sheamus, but an opinion is an opinion.

Jason Powell of Dot Net

The beatdown angle left plenty to be desired. For that matter, the table match announcement was flat. The crowd was pretty dead by this point, but I can't blame them for not getting excited about a table match stipulation being used for a pay-per-view World Title match. Overall, though, this was a fun show. There were some frustrating moments (see anything involving DX), but it's cool to know that we're finally getting a fresh title match at the next pay-per-view.

Sheamus O'Shaunessy: Too Soon?

We've all been clamoring for a new main event wrestler to be elevated on the RAW side for the last year or so. While Smackdown gave us Jeff Hardy and CM Punk and looks primed to give us John Morrison sooner rather than later, RAW seemed to stagnate with the same Orton/Cena/DX merry-go-round, with a little Batista sprinkled in for good measure. Yeah, Cena and Big Show feuded, but once Cena won the title, that feud was dropped like it was hot.

So when Jesse "The Body" Ventura came out last night and said he was going to give us a new contender to one of the major World Championships, all of us, including the fans in attendance who popped at the notion of elevation happening right before their eyes, got excited. Would it be Kofi Kingston's next step in his kingmaking? Maybe we get to see what Legacy, either piecemeal or as a unit, could do in a singles program after shining in their tag feud with DX. Would it be The Miz looking to exact revenge on Cena for his summer humiliation, or maybe Jack Swagger looking to one-up Miz and give some payback to The Champ for beating him at the Draft?

Instead, we got Sheamus O'Shaunessy, the pale Irishman who wowed ECW crowds with his feud against Goldust, but who was just one month into his RAW residency. It is undeniable that Sheamus is a future player in the WWE. He's one of the rare size-fetish guys who has working ability and mic skills to be able to pull off a main event run for years to come. But right now? Is he really ready?

While I contest that he's heatless right now, you can't say that he's getting as much heel heat as even Batista, a guy whom fans still want to cheer. I laid out the positives last night, but while I won't kill the WWE for the decision, I can't praise them for it either. I can only go forward with cautious optimism and the precedents set with past guys, including Cena himself and Brock Lesnar. But even by my fuzzy recollection, both Cena and Lesnar had better initial reactions, didn't they? At this point, my only guide would be Youtube, and once I get off work, maybe that's what I'll look for.

Then again, for every Cena, there's a Mordecai, as resident F4W RAW recapper Todd Martin compared Sheamus to. Sheamus could be getting too much too soon, and I would hate to see someone as talented as the Irish Warrior get wasted because he got Ronnie Garvin'd. Still, I have my reasons to keep my optimism tempered. For that optimism to be rewarded, they have to tread extremely carefully. Sheamus needs to be protected, and the finish to the TLC match needs to be carefully laid out so as to keep Sheamus strong but have Cena get a decisive win.

The more I think about it, the more worried I get, but it doesn't change the fact that we're not getting Orton/Cena or Cena/DX again. It doesn't change the fact that RAW was great television for the first time arguably since the Dusty RAW. There's reason for hope, even if the WWE is notorious for destroying hope like their wrestlers destroy announce tables.

Instant Feedback: Thankful for The Body!

Last week, I chose not to say anything negative about RAW because it was relatively the best one they had in a month. There were heaps of crap, but the good deserved to be mentioned because they improved. This week, I say nothing negative about RAW because there wasn't a whole lot negative to say. In fact, aside from having to see Michelle McCool fug up the screen with her horrible promo non-skills and the trailer for another shitty WWE movie, I'd say there was nothing wrong with the show tonight.

Best RAW of the year? Yeah, best RAW of the year.

Again, it starts with a guest host who CARES about the product and knows how to get both the product over as well as the thing he's shilling. Jesse Ventura may not have been the best guest host, but he had the best show to work with, and he fucking knocked it out of the park. He was also the perfect voice for the shake-up that happened on this show. The Body made his political career as an outsider, be it for good as the Reform party candidate that beat out both major parties to win the governorship of Minnesota, or the bad as a voice for the whack-job "Truthers" who think 9/11 was an inside job. He's a guy who stirs the pot, makes change, and who better to be a part of an elevation like this? This show was how it was done.

Consider that John Cena made CM Punk look like a million bucks before winning the match. Yeah, Punk was already in the main event, but he took a decided demotion after Jeff Hardy went on drug vacation sabbatical and the brass decided that Undertaker, Kane and Batista would be more effective selling tickets and garnering ratings. Having him in a prolonged TV match where he looked to have the kayfabe best wrestler in the company beaten at several points does wonders for his credibility, and it actually makes me and hopefully everyone else salivate for a future Cena/Punk program.

Also consider that Kofi Kingston got the better of Randy Orton once again. I winced when Ventura put Orton in the Breakthrough BR, but I should have had more faith. Even as Kofi was eliminated by Sheamus, he still was made to look like a star by continuing to have Orton's number. That will be an off-the-charts match for TLC.

Finally, and this is a big finally, they shook up the WWE Championship picture, something that the fans have been asking for forever now. Would I have picked someone other than Sheamus? Truth is, yeah, I would have. First choice would have been Jack Swagger, then Miz and then Legacy, either as a three-way match or as a one-on-one between Cena and DiBiase or Rhodes (prefer DiBiase because he's more ready). HOWEVER, while the choice is questionable, the sentiment is appreciated. Sheamus' plusses outweigh his minuses here, even if just barely. He may not be hot enough to lose a title shot on PPV without major, major protection (and let's face it, Sheamus ain't winning nor should he win), and the guy only has one major feud under his belt. However, he's starting to get over as a heel and he's one of the few guys on the roster who has physical credibility enough to look like he belongs with Cena.

The question remains... will this be a good decision? Well, who knows. It all depends on how they tread with Sheamus, and I emphasize that it'll have to be very carefully. However, it definitely started off on the right foot. I want to be hopeful, and with the RAW that just happened, I almost can't dash the hope even if the WWE has a terrible, terrible track record. I understand that skepticism, and yes, I reiterate that there were better choices than Sheamus. However, sometimes you just have to take a stab in the dark.

ETA: I'd be remiss not to talk about the reunion of a lifetime, the Body/McMahon team-up in the broadcast booth. I liked it, but didn't love it, mainly because Vince wasn't the enthusiastic Vince of old. Still... they called the match well, gave insight and ribbed each other... good times!

Hilarious Hogan Interview

From KoppoKick via an unknown source

I don't know where KK found it, but it's fuuuunny in most parts, poingnant in some. I wholeheartedly agree with this passage, btw:

Question: Hulk, if there was one thing you could change about the wrestling industry at this point in time what would it be? How will Hulk Hogan revolutionize the wrestling industry yet again?

Hulk Hogan: Well, the one thing I would change and I'm going to change is..I hate the writers. I cannot stand that they have a writing team sitting in the back telling the wrestlers what to say and telling the wrestlers what to do in the ring. That's one of the reasons why I went to TNA because the other promotion that's what they're all about - scripting the verbiage and scripting the matches and telling the wrestlers what to do. They have a team of writers in the back that don't understand this business, that have never been to the big show, that have never been in the big main events. All the writers are either wrestlers that are midcard wrestlers or they were family members that were handed a pen and paper and told, "You've learned what you've learned from our family now keep writing". They've never learned the wrestling business from being in the middle of the ring in the main event in front of 20, 30, 40, 90 thousand people.

lol @ TNA, Pt. 2324123

Courtesy of F4W Online

Found this gem on Meltzer's site:

-- No TNA Impact on Christmas Eve as they're doing an all-day Star Wars Marathon.

That is fucking rich right there. Shows how much faith Spike has in TNA, doesn't it? Re-upping, advertising, anything Spike does for TNA doesn't speak as loudly as this. If you had faith in the product, you'd put it on on a holiday to anchor ratings instead of relying on showing Star Wars movies as a desperate plea to get people to watch the network.

Dot Net Is Full of Useful News Today

Note #1
Note #2, both courtesy of Dot Net

Some interesting notes reported by Jason Powell's Dot Net today. The first note says that both Rey Mysterio and Big Show are going under the knife for knee surgeries. Mysterio's injury is bad. Show's... they don't know yet. Hopefully it's minor, because JeriShow vs. Edge and Christian at WrestleMania would be a fucking money match. Second note builds off the first one, with Jim Ross basically saying that we're gonna see Batista move into the challenger's spot against Undertaker for the World Championship, confirming my hopes from last night. As bad as Batista is against most foes, he's always been good against Undertaker, a testament to the carrying power of the Dead Man.

Piggie James? FU, WWE

The best thing about DVRing wrestling shows is that it allows me to skip over the chaff, the stuff I know is going to suck. Batista/Mysterio contract signing? Pass. RAW Rebound? Pass. Shill for a shitty John Cena movie? Ultimate pass. WWE Divas wrestling? Well, unless it's any combination of Mickie James, Beth Phoenix or Nattie Niedhart, or any one of those three taking on Maryse or Melina, I'm probably skipping that too.

Given that information, I skipped over the Mickie James/Layla El match on Smackdown, and I'm glad I did, because I probably would have thrown something at the television. Apparently, Michelle McCool interrupted the match in front of a farm backdrop, making light of Mickie's "weight problem" by calling her "Piggie James". Furthermore, this isn't all just some angle; it's part of an attempt by management to get Mickie to drop a few pounds because she doesn't fit the Diva image.

Bull-fucking-shit. If Mickie James is fat, then that makes me three Yokozunas. Does she have love handles on her lower back? Kinda. She's a bit round, but you know what? That's what people call HEALTHY! Take a look at Michelle McCool by comparison. Don't look at her face (in fact, from the pictures I've seen of the offending skit, the pig get up she had on improves on her god-awful looks), look at her body. You can almost see her ribs. She's skinny as a rail. I don't know where guys get off thinking that only Kate Moss/Nicole Ritchie types are attractive. Kim Kardashian, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez and other women who actually have a little meat on their bones get the fires stoked for male (and lesbian) America... why can't the WWE take a cue from them?

This isn't anything new for the WWE though. They've had an image-obsession problem for the longest time. It's just that it never really came through for the women until recently, when they ran the reprehensible "Molly Holly is fat" angle. The image obsession has always been with the men of the company. Historically, tall, statuesque and usually roided-out-of-their-minds talents were the ones who got big pushes, and the smaller talents were left to mill about as job fodder until they went to either WCW or now, TNA. Sure, Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels back then, and CM Punk and Christian now don't fit that mold, but there are exceptions to every rule for one, and two, well then and now are special times in the company, times where it was and is under fire for steroid abuse and distribution.

At times, this obsession lead to the company pushing guys who clearly weren't talented enough to hang. Still, wrestling is becoming more and more a smaller man's game, now that the genetically gifted freaks are more going to other sports, and McMahon can't afford to be a chooser when he's been reduced to being a beggar in the market. So with the genetics out the window and the government sniffing his ass for steroids, well... he kinda has no choice.

But with women? You don't need great genetics or illegal performance enhancers to look good. You just need two bags of saline or silicone in the chest, two fingers down the throat, and if necessary, plastic surgery to turn offending body parts from liabilities to assets. If McMahon can't play the superficially obsessive game with the men, he sure as hell will do it with the women, blindly ignoring that it's variety that's the spice of life, and that if he's going to insist on putting EVERY Diva he signs into a wrestling ring, actual wrestling ability has to factor in at some point.

Of course, Mickie was vindicated last night at Survivor Series with her team reigning victorious over Queen Fugly. There's probably an entire shitty feud upcoming between Mickie and McCool which will go far in showing whether the Piggie James stuff was just feud fodder or whether they're really set on burying their most talented female wrestler because she's a bit doughy in the middle. Regardless of how it turns out, the Piggie James stuff sends the wrong message. For a fanbase that is as shallow as the WWE's is (remember, Vickie Guerrero was heeled for being "fat and ugly"), it's a bad way to differentiate a heel from a face in that manner. Plus, it's just bad form altogether.

Anorexia is bad, people.

Instant Feedback: Even the Divas Match Wasn't Terrible

Survivor Series came and went, and I have to say, there wasn't a bad match on the card. As the title says, even the Divas match was okay for what it was. I won't spend much time analyzing it, but it wasn't terrible.

The other matches I can give more than faint praise to. The opener was superb as it was surprising. I thought they were totally going to get Morrison's heat back from Bragging Rights by having him take out all three remaining members of Miz's team, but they didn't. Even after teasing the comeback, it was awesomely squelched by Sheamus's pump kick to counter the flying chuck. Even though I really don't think Drew MacIntyre is all that good, he carried himself well. Miz leading a stable featuring Sheamus and MacIntyre would be pretty sweet if you ask me.

Batista/Mysterio was what it should have been. Batista looks best when he gets to throw guys around, and that's what he did. I loved the finish, and it allows for multiple things. I'm hoping for them to segue into Taker/Batista for TLC, but it could also allow for ReyRey to go down the "fighting underdog" route if they're not shelving him for awhile. Also, kudos to the Washington crowd for chanting "one more time" at Batista after the slam onto the chair. I shouldn't have loved it, but I did.

The Smackdown three-way was good for what it was. They're probably going to keep going down the road of teasing the breakup between JeriShow, which is the last thing they should do, but whatever, the match was entertaining. The RAW three-way though... they knocked that one out of the park. Honestly, my only complaint was that they didn't end the match with Triple H pinning Cena after HBK gave him Sweet Chin Music. That would have been a perfect jumping point for a feud between HHH and HBK, or even another involvement with Cena. I know, I know, I was bitching about the staleness of the main event, but I admit that it would have been intriguing to see them continue that feud with the angle of Michaels causing the winning blow but not winning the match. Still, I can live with how it ended. One of the better three way matches I've seen in awhile.

The match of the night, and maybe the WWE's match of the year, was the Team Kofi vs. Team Orton match. A lot of great psychology, good one-on-one matchups (especially novel ones), plus a star-making finish that dropped my jaw. They made Kofi Kingston tonight. You can't ask for a better star-making performance than having him take out Punk and Orton, arguably the top two heels in the company, in a six-second span to finish the match. The spot of the night, though, for me at least, was when they had Christian hit the Killswitch on Orton, only to have Punk make the save. I really thought they were going to go through with it, which would have given Christian the ultimate rub, but you can't argue with the finish of the match.

Kofi Kingston, you have arrived.

'Rasslin' Six Packs: Change of Scenery

A change of scenery can do a wrestler a world of good. A guy struggling in the WWE can become revitalized if he moved to the indies or TNA. This installment of the six packs is going to list six guys whom I think could use a change of scenery and what the actual scenery I'd like to see them in is. It's not going to be anything too too major or petty - no Triple H to the Siberian Wrestling Collective or anything like that. However, I think these guys would be more entertaining in other roles than where they are now:

NOTE: All of these may very well be unrealistic, but still...

1. Matt Hardy, from Smackdown to DGUSA

I'm not going to speculate on Matt Hardy's happiness level with the WWE, but he's looked like he's been going through the motions lately, ever since before his brother left the company. There are a few things factoring into that. Crowds seemed to have rejected him as anything but a Hardy Boy. He's gotten out of shape. He seems to be lost in the shuffle with no real mobility - he'll always be in one spot because of his last name, but he's not doing himself any favors to get moved past that spot.

SO I had this thought. What if Matt Hardy got in shape, got motivated and went to DGUSA? Yeah, I know, if he got motivated and in shape, he'd be better off where he is, and he has legions of fans, but from where I sit, the Hardy Boy schtick is kinda tired. I can only see Hardy work the same spots I've seen him work for the last 15 years so many times. Going to DGUSA would give Hardy a platform to work a style similar to the one he worked in OMEGA before coming to the WWF. Yeah, he's older, but if he got in shape, I'd be very interested to see how he'd work in a more freestyle environment against both the Toryumon/DG vets and the indie guys they've brought in, in front of an audience that would appreciate the deviance from the Team Xtreme formula.

2. Jamie Noble, from RAW to ROH

Jamie Noble is "officially retired" after taking a BRUTAL powerbomb from Sheamus O'Shaunessy, and will probably become a road agent for the company. However, I'm not done enjoying him in the ring. I always thought he was a decent cruiser-type worker who really didn't have the stage to shine in the WWE. He was always a misfit for the company, and didn't ever replicate what he did in ROH as James Gibson.

So why not go back there? ROH has become somewhat of a haven for older wrestlers looking for a place to go when the WWE and TNA don't really want much to do with them. It's been a nice stop for guys like Jerry Lynn, D'Lo Brown and now Steve Corino. Noble could be a nice opponent for a great number of guys in the fed, and he wouldn't have to resort to getting nearly killed to make a statement for the fans in attendance.

3. Ken Doane, from the indies to TNA

A lot of people pegged him for superstardom, but his attitude apparently got in the way. So why should he go from indie bookings to TNA, a place with a notoriously unstructured locker room? Well, I'd take the gamble if I got to see him on TV getting a shot. Doane is a talented heat magnet.

Of course, TNA would have to resist the urge to brand him in a way that builds off his WWE work. They've succeeded with D'Angelo Dinero... others not so much.

4. Masato Tanaka, from Japan to ECW

It's not like I've seen much of Tanaka in Japan to think he needs a change of scenery there, but I've always enjoyed him in the ring and would love to see him back in America. He's one of the last links to the original ECW that hasn't been tried yet. Unlike most other ECW alums, Tanaka doesn't seem to be used up. I'd love to see him in the new ECW as a mentor for Yoshi Tatsu and in matches against guys like William Regal, Tommy Dreamer and Paul Burchill.

5. Jay Lethal, from TNA to Smackdown

If there's a youth movement going on in TNA, someone forgot to tell Jay Lethal. He's gone from being a hot X-Division titlist and rising star to jobbing to Jim Niedhart. Even though he's shown the most with a gimmick that's an "homage" to put it lightly, Lethal's in-ring ability and charisma have shown through in spades. A fresh start in the WWE would do wonders for him, like it has fellow TNA castoff Ron "R-Truth" Killings.

6. Shelton Benjamin, from ECW to EVOLVE

This is the biggest pipe dream of all. Benjamin ain't going anywhere, especially to an indie start-up whose biggest name to date is either Davey Richards or Mike Quackenbush. However, what has his biggest bugaboo been? Being entertaining outside of the ring. What have people praised him on? His ring work, athleticism and raw talent. What upcoming fed is looking to promote the sport aspect of things rather than the angle aspect? EVOLVE. Even though it'll never happen, it would be a fantastic change of scenery since Benjamin would be allowed to let his matches do the talking rather than his awkward baritone.

Friday Five: Favorite Match by So-and-So 2

The second one of these:

1. What was your favorite Bob Backlund match?

2. What was your favorite La Parka match?

3. What was your favorite Chris Hero match?

4. What was your favorite Sabu match?

5. What was your favorite Bob Holly match?

Next Four RAW Guest Hosts Revealed

Via Dot Net

We all know about Jesse Ventura next week, but after that, the next three guest hosts are Verne Troyer, Mark Cuban and Dennis Miller. I have no idea what to think about them. Troyer is out of date, but he's relevant to the company. Cuban could be good, but he owns HDNet, which airs the "competition" (although ROH is as much competition to the WWE as the Roman Catholic High School Cahillites are to the Dallas Cowboys). Miller is the wild card, as he's funny and articulate, but whose link to the product I may have to question. Does he have something to shill? A quick check of Google news search says no, so maybe it'll be good. Miller's show will coincide with the Slammy Awards, so that could turn out to be interesting.

I'm still holding out hope for the It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia gang to host an episode. On the bright side, I hear it's not a question of "if" but "when" for The Rock. As long as we don't get any ZZ Top/Osbourne/NASCAR shithead-caliber hosts, I have high hopes for the future of the guest host experiment.

Tommy Dreamer Interview from the Preston and Steve Show

The Interview

This bit of audio was from the Preston and Steve Show, which is only the most awesome morning show in the history of morning shows. It's broadcast here in Philly on 93.3 FM WMMR, but you can podcast it if you don't live in the area.

Anyway, they had Tommy Dreamer in the studio yesterday to help promote the ECW/Smackdown tapings that took place at the Wachovia Center last night. Dreamer talked about a number of things, including how many concussions he's had over his career (hint, it's too fucking many), how Vince McMahon is a very hands-on boss and about how he got swept up in Phillies fever this past October.

Preston and Steve always get wrestlers into the studio when they can. They've had Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle and John Cena in studio, and 'MMR always helps promote and give away tickets to WWE or TNA events.

Special thanks to the show's super producer, Marisa Magnatta, for isolating the clip and allowing me to share it with you.

Lance Storm Makes a Funny

From a Q&A he did on his site

Again, Lance Storm proves to be more entertaining as a retired wrestling commentator than he was as an active competitor:

Q: Do you ever wish you could have wrestled a Best-Of-5 series against Steve "Mongo" McMichael, with the 5th match of the series being an Iron Man match? How would you have prepared for such an opponent?

A: I’d have probably just quit the business.

el-oh-el

Humorous List: Laws of Wrestling Physics

From TWF

Some of them don't make sense, some of them are dumb, but most of them capture the utter absurdity of wrestling logic. My favorite one:

If you win the Royal Rumble, HHH will still main event Wrestlemania anyways.

Thanks to Sean McLaughlin for finding this!

ETA: Looking at some of these suggests the list might be a little dated, but still humorous no less.

Instant Feedback: No TitanTron? No Problem!

I'll forgo the negativity for this review, not because there wasn't anything to be negative about. No no no, there were a few things to pick at, most glaringly being DX attacking a midget for doing what they want everyone in the audience to do, but because this RAW was fun and was really the best one they've had in probably a month. It all started with the guest host, who was someone who had charisma and, here's the key, CARED ABOUT THE PRODUCT!

Say what you want about Da Maniac Rowdy Roddy Piper, but the guy isn't an all-timer because he looks pretty. He's one of the great mic-workers of all time, and he showed it tonight with some classic lines that didn't get the love from the crowd that I thought they deserved. Uncharacteristically dead crowd in New York tonight, I expected better. Come to think of it, a few of their go-to markets have been pretty lame lately. Philly by all accounts wasn't all that hoppin' for Night of Champions. A message to everyone going to the Smackdown tapings tomorrow night... MAKE SOME NOISE! Don't let Jacksonville or Boston upstage us!

That out of the way, I thought they did a good job doing a show at their trademark arena. The opening match was great, and I like the dedication to pushing The Miz. He's the one heel they're giving clean wins to, and he's getting over. The Swagger/Bourne squash was pretty cool too, although I hope they don't continue down that road. I've said this many times before, but a Bourne/Miz/Swagger three-way for the US Title at Tables, Ladders and Chairs would be pretty sweet.

I also love what they're doing with Sheamus. I half-expected them to have Danielson come out and answer the challenge (even though it would have put them in a lose-lose situation), but what they ended up doing with it, having Sheamus bully the ring crew guy and then boot Lawler's head halfway to Bayonne afterwards was fantastic. Hopefully it doesn't lead to an announcer feud, but even if it does, I think Lawler can be a good foil for him.

Solid show all around. I'm looking forward to next week. I wonder if Ventura's going to work any of his crazy Truther theories into his act for the show...

ETA: Forgot to add... AMAZING spot from Kofi with the double legs across Orton's chest. IN one month, he's gone from meh to one of my favorites. I think they just sold me on Survivor Series.

Randy Orton Sells Like a Champ

No really, this isn't embarassing at all. And to think, this was put over to be more deadly than most wrestlers' main offenses. While I think Shane leaving the WWE was a bad move for the backstage morale, fuck, at least we'll never be subjected to this anymore.

Thanks to A1 poster The Dark Knight for finding this.

The Verdict On: Lance Storm

Lance Storm seems like the kind of guy that would get the Internet in a swooning fit over. He was a great technical wrestler, he wrestled for the original ECW and he was always underpushed in the eyes of many Internet fans. However, I've come to realize that more people don't care for him than thought. And here I was thinking I was the only one on the Net who didn't think too highly of Storm's wrestling ability.

While I think he'd be a tremendous booker (he's actually gotten a job booking for a local promotion) and I always enjoy reading his takes on wrestling, the guy never did it for me in the ring or on the stick. So, whose camp are you in?

Pros
- Solid technical wrestling background
- Two great catchphrases
- Leader of one of the hotter stables at the end of WCW
- Says a lot of smart things about wrestling theory and booking

Cons
- Not a very exciting worker, and was probably not as nuanced as he was boring
- Had a tendency to be boring on the microphone
- Can sound sanctimonious on his website

So, what say you, oh Internet? What's the verdict on Lance Storm?

Revamping the Survivor Series Card

Survivor Series is a scant 9 days away, and while it looks like an appetizing card just for the two five-man elimination matches and just the history and its status as a Big 4 PPV, I can't help but feel like they dropped the ball with the other matches. They're lazily teasing tag team breakups with both World Title matches, both of them being mains where no one new is being introduced into the main event. The one fresh money feud they have going is being brought to a one-on-one match way too early, especially since there could have been a way to have them face off while saving a one-on-one encounter for a future PPV, like, I don't know, WrestleMania? And really, the only feds in the world who have the womanpower to pull off 10-women tag matches are SHIMMER and TNA.

The beauty of Survivor Series and the upcoming Royal Rumble is that the events have built-in main-event type matches where you can experiment with an odd title match. The WWE had the chance to do that with them ending the Orton/Cena feud 4EVA!!11 at Bragging Rights and with DX entangled with JeriShow. Instead, we got retreads and the brands mirroring each other. Then again, aside from elevating CM Punk and giving Legacy a cup of coffee, the WWE has been slow up the star-building uptake this year. In fact, they pretty much gave the Internet and the fed's critics a slap in the face when the night after BR, they had John Cena come out and say no one wanted to see Legacy challenge for the titles because it would be "the same ol' same ol'", referring to the fact that Legacy was in name only associated with Orton at that point. Of course, I see the merit in that, but at the same time, Legacy themselves, especially Ted DiBiase, are new, fresh and exciting superstars. Plus, aside from buying Orton his stock car, they've been dissociated from Orton since before SummerSlam, when Trips and HBK started feuding with them as a separate entity while Orton and Cena tangled up. It got to the point where Orton would rather have used JeriShow as his henchmen rather than Legacy.

After the jump... Still, I wouldn't have put Legacy in the title match at Survivor Series for the sheer reason that there's still plenty of mileage in a Legacy dissolution angle down the road and putting them in the title picture now would be a little too much too soon. What would I do? Well first, let's list the current card:

WWE Championship Match
John Cena (c) vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H

World Championship Match
Undertaker (c) vs. The Big Show vs. Chris Jericho

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Traditional Survivor Series Matches
Team Orton - Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, CM Punk and William Regal
vs.
Team Kingston - Kofi Kingston, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth and Christian

Team Miz - The Miz, Jack Swagger, Sheamus O'Shaunessy, Drew MacIntyre and Dolph Ziggler
vs.
Team Morrison - John Morrison, Matt Hardy, Finlay, Evan Bourne and Shelton Benjamin

Team Melina - Melina, Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres
vs.
Team Fugly Cum Dumpster Michelle - Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Alicia Fox and Jillian Hall

Again, the two men's team matches look good. Everything else looks bad at worst to tired-but-having-potential at best. What would make it better? Well, let's break it down match by match.

First up, there's the WWE Championship match. Right now, the RAW main event has had some combination of Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Randy Orton, Batista or Cena for the longest time. Batista's on Smackdown, Orton's banned from facing Cena for the time being, so you have a few options. Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Triple H and Shawn Michaels or something new. The WWE went with option 3. I'm going to present you option four:

WWE Championship Match
John Cena (c) vs. Jack Swagger vs. The Miz

Jack Swagger or The Miz, yeah, but both of them? Didn't their poorly developed feud start after Bragging Rights? Yeah, but they do have good chemistry together, and short of turning one of them face, this is the best option. This match works for a few reasons. One, it's allows Cena to retain the title over two up-and-comers in a PPV main event without burying them. Basically, you have the finish with one of the heels setting up Cena for a decisive victory via finisher. Like Miz has Cena set up for the Skull-Crushing Finale, but Swagger interrupts and nails Miz with the SWAGGAH BOMBUUUU~! before Miz can get the move off. Then as Swagger is gloating over Miz, Cena hits him with the FU Attitude Adjustment and wins.

Two, it puts a strong face presence in the Miz/Swagger festivities. While I'd love to have them put Evan Bourne in their fray and make it an awesome three-way feud for the US Title, Survivor Series really isn't for secondary title defenses with the elimination matches on the slate. John Cena is probably the strongest face on the RAW side right now. Swagger is one of the guys who could be the next big thing, and Miz could be even bigger, plus he has history and heat with Cena.

So what do you do with the other title match? Well how about:

World Championship Match
Undertaker (c) vs. Kane

Undertaker/Kane? Isn't that the most stale match you could have? Well, yes and no. It's been done to death in the past, but recently speaking, it's relatively fresh. Fresher than Taker/Show at least. Batista is tangled up with Mysterio, and Jericho, who'd be the freshest matchup, is needed with Show to anchor the biggest elimination match. Punk could have filled in, but he's already done three PPV matches plus at least two SD TV matches with Taker, and the last thing I want to do is burn out a good thing early.

Still, Kane? Show's reasoning for turning at Bragging Rights was a solid one, but the way I'd book it would be the Smackdown roster, sans Jericho of course, not being too happy with winning the way they won and wanting retribution on Show, especially Kane who was supposedly Jericho's right hand man for the match. Kane lays out the challenge and beats Show, clean or otherwise, with the contendership on the line.

But why? Well, I think Kane deserves some love for being a good soldier and remaining an effective character all these years. I wouldn't strap him here, but a moment in the sun at a big PPV wouldn't be too much to ask. And it's not like he's going in there against someone he's never faced before. He and Taker have good rapport. It wouldn't be the best match in terms of quality, but it wouldn't be bathroom-break quality.

While having a 10-Diva tag match would be an awful idea, I get what the WWE is trying to do promoting Divas on all their shows. That's fine, but let's keep the utterly horrible women wrestlers to a minimum, and keep them all in the same match, which brings me to:

Two-Fall Divas Double Championship Fatal Fourway Match
Melina (c - Divas) vs. Michelle McCool (c - Women's) vs. Mickie James vs. Alicia Fox

I'd rather have Beth Phoenix in there over Alicia, but that would make the match too Smackdown-heavy, and they seem to be high on Alicia as a wrestler. For what reason, I'll never know. Anyway, I'd envision this match being like the WrestleMania 2000 double-fall three way for the European and Intercontinental Championships with Kurt Angle, Jericho and the Murderin' Midget. First fall for the pretty butterfly title and the second for the Women's Championship. This is for the bookers to make that change-for-change's-sake booking that they like to do with the Divas, even if it just meant Melina winning the Women's fall and Ms. Fugly winning the pretty butterfly fall.

Now, onto the elimination matches, which should be the centerpieces of the show. They're what Survivor Series are all about. They serve plenty of purposes - showcasing wrestlers who don't normally get on PPV, advancing feuds while still protecting the people involved and so on and so forth. Having taken JeriShow and DX out of the title matches, the logical thing would be to continue their feud with reinforcements, so:

The World Warriors
Chris Jericho, Big Show (co-captains), Sheamus O'Shaunessy, Drew MacIntyre and William Regal
vs.
The DX Army
Triple H, Shawn Michaels (co-captains), Shelton Benjamin, R-Truth and Christian

I give JeriShow the international flavor because he's Canadian and it would be fun to have him recruit guys who weren't leeches and parasites like most Americans. Triple H's team would follow the feuds. The next elimination match is actually a tweaking of a match they're running. Of everything the WWE is doing right now, the current feud between Kofi Kingston and Randy Orton, at least until Legacy started race baiting in the VIP lounge on Monday. Be that as it may, here's my tweak on the match:

Kingston's Kings
Kofi Kingston (captain), MVP, Mark Henry, JTG and Shad Gaspard
vs.
Legacy Immortal
Randy Orton (captain), Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Tyson Kidd and DH Smith

Same lineup except replacing R-Truth and Christian with Cryme Tyme and Punk and Regal with the Harts. Honestly, Punk should be heading his own team, and the Harts fit the Legacy motif better as second generation superstars. Speaking of Punk:

Straight from the Edge
CM Punk (captain), Batista, Dolph Ziggler, Zack Ryder and Mike Knox
vs.
Shamans and Gurus
John Morrison (captain), Rey Mysterio, Evan Bourne, Finlay and Yoshi Tatsu

Since one of the elimination matches is primarily concerned with a RAW feud, why not bring together a match based on Smackdown tensions? Integrating Rey/Batista into an elimination match, as well as cultivating heat between two of the future main event rocks on the Smackdown side (Punk and Morrison) makes for a stellar match that doesn't really feel like an undercard match, even though that's where its placement would most likely be. Basically, this would be Batista's way of ducking Mysterio after turning on him, claiming that he doesn't want Mysterio to get in his way. Rather than take the one-on-one challenge, Batista can inform Rey that he's joined Punk's team, to which Rey would join Morrison's team. And yeah, this was just a shameless way of getting Zack Ryder on PPV FINALLY! Woo woo woo, you know it.

With a little tweaking and retrofitting the book, a potentially tired card can turn into something fresher and more exciting. While the WWE doesn't need fresh and exciting to maintain its stranglehold on the market lead (lol TNA), it could use it to get some extra bump in its cash influx and to keep the fans that it already has interested. Hopefully, with Kingston, MVP, Morrison and other heretofore unknown guys ready to jump to main event status, that will change. Hopefully. *sigh*

Friday Five: In Memory of Eddie Guerrero

Today is the 4th anniversary of the passing of Eddie Guerrero, one of the most beloved wrestlers in the history of the sport. In his honor, a Friday Five:

1. What was your favorite Eddie match?

2. If Eddie were still around today, where would he be?

3. Was the Randy Orton "Eddie's in hell" angle tasteless even by wrestling standards, or was it something that the Internet got too butt-hurt over?

4. Given that he broke out and became a main eventer and Champion in the WWE, did WCW misuse him?

5. Even with Eddie dying because of drugs taking a toll on his body, even after he cleaned up, and with Benoit being Benoit, does the WrestleMania XX moment, with the two friends as Champions embracing in the ring still hold up for you?

WWE on Food Network: "Hey, uh, the Miz, you ah-probably suck, enh?"

So the Food Network's race-against-the-clock series, Dinner Impossible, aired its WWE-centric episode last night. I caught it on DVR tonight and I have to say, it was pretty entertaining. The show taped at SummerSlam, and chef Robert Irvine was tasked with making dishes based off WWE signature moves like the RKO and Sweet Chin Music. The WWE provided him with some soux chefs - The Miz, Jim Ross, Santino Marella and Gail Kim.

The show was what you'd expect if you're a fan of it. IF you're not, well, basically, Chef Irvine, who's put under the gun to cater big parties in short amounts of time, yells at people and creates beautiful and tasty looking dishes. On this show, Stephanie McMahon and the Big Show basically gave him 9 hours to cater an event for 300 WWE VIPs with foods based off the aforementioned signature moves. As you'd expect, the wrestling help, mainly Santino and Miz, gave Chef Irvine trouble at every turn. Miz was with the team for the whole time, and his best moments included him riding around the supermarket in one of those motorized carts and ripping apart chicken like a barbarian when he was tasked with separating it for JR to cook some BBQ chicken. He also got into a war of words and a scuffle with Santino, which provided humor for the viewers and angst for Irvine.

After awhile, both Miz and Santino proved capable in the kitchen, capable enough for Irvine to get his food out to the VIPs, which included Linda McMahon, Mike Knox, David Koechner and non-celebrities. The dishes looked like they'd be really good. I'm not a fish guy and the idea of frog legs kinda repulses me. Other than that, they conjured up a mouthwatering "Pedigree" dish out of lobster medallion and short-rib atop mashed potato. Miz's Skull-Crushing Bon Bon, which was a bon-bon infused with raspberry puree, looked damn good too. If you're a fan of cooking shows and wrestling, watch this show. It'll be worth the hour, and Food Network usually reruns the shit out of their programming.

One other note... Chef Irvine is JACKED. When Santino entered the kitchen, he flexed as per his shirt, and Irvine followed suit. His biceps are huge. I'm wondering if Vince got him on the phone after seeing the show to see if he wanted a contract! Actually, in all seriousness, Robert Irvine as a guest host on RAW might work. He has built in heat with Miz and Santino already...

WWE to Stacy Kiebler: DO NOT WANT!, Wrestling Fans to WWE: *facepalm*

via Dot Net's Twitter feed

Yeah, so Stacy Kiebler was chomping at the bit to guest host RAW, and apparently, the WWE rebuffed her desires. Yeah, because the people who primarily watch your programming, the 18-49 males that have kept in there watching despite the lip service paid to wanting kids to tune in more, don't want to see one of the most attractive former Divas ever come back and be an engaging and knowledgeable guest host who happens also to be a fan. No, let's get more vapid NASCAR drivers who couldn't tell Dwayne Johnson from Kofi Kingston, or washed-up reality stars who keep saying they have no idea who anyone on the show is. Oooh, ooh, I know, or maybe you could get even more classic rockers devoid of personality to do nothing but forced, pre-taped segments that make even the most naturally charismatic men on the roster look flat and boring by association~!

I hate the WWE so much sometimes.

The Best Moves Ever: The Flying Elbow Drop

I hate when Michael Cole overuses the term "vintage". Most of the time he uses the term, it doesn't fit. It usually elicits a quiet hate, but I get audibly pissed when he calls Shawn Michaels' elbow drop from the top "vintage HBK". It's not that I don't like HBK using the move; moves get passed on generationally all the time, but while it's become vintage Shawn Michaels, to me, it will always, always, ALWAYS be associated with one man, perhaps the most underappreciated wrestler of all time, the Macho Man Randy Savage.

By all rights, an elbow drilling someone in the chest should finish a man 100% of the time, if not be threatening to kill him. A lot of old-school finishers today might look weak in comparison, even if in the context of the times and the guy doing it, they still hold up (the perfect example is Hogan's leg drop). But the TR elbow? That always looked like death. Savage may have been the picture of crazy on the mic and in the ring, but for a brief moment in time, whenever he ascended the turnbuckles, spread his arms akimbo and leapt, driving the elbow into the chest of whomever was unlucky enough to receive it, he looked like the most graceful human being in the arena. Here's clip of him doing the move to Shawn Michaels in what can only be described in the most a propos way to present it:

Instant Feedback: RAW Is a Bread-Filled Meatloaf

It really is pathetic that the WWE doesn't have enough faith in its wrestlers and angles going into one of their biggest PPVs that they have to fill time with NASCAR fluff segments and a pointless replay of the worst segment from last week. Torgo from the A1 Boards called it a throwaway show, and I'd be hard-pressed to disagree. That being said, there were some good moments, like Bourne/Swagger and Henry/Orton. The VIP Lounge was really good too. I'm getting to the point that I'm getting really, really excited every time they give Kofi Kingston a chance to talk. This guy's a revelation. If/when his ringwork catches up with his mic skills and charisma, I think we're talking potential franchise player, like Cena levels. Plus, Chris Jericho was making things awesome whenever he was on screen.

That being said, the show started off very slow, and John Cena was valium in the announce booth. As engaging as DX was last week, Cena was dreadful this week, which was a shame because he's usually better than this on the mic. Speaking of DX, they felt on the annoying side this week. I'm getting to the point where I'm just tired of seeing them prance around, and I really hope they do something drastic at Survivor Series, like break them up and feud them going into WrestleMania.

I'm really also not feeling the heel vs. heel feud dynamic between The Miz and Jack Swagger. Isn't the goal of having worked matches to give the audience a rooting interest? Then again, Evan Bourne has been an integral part of the feud (which would turn it from pointless to awesome) and the crowd seems to have made Miz the face-by-proxy. Still, I can't think that the WWE would pull the trigger on a Miz face turn already. I can't help but thinking that they would have done a lot better to have Swagger take on Cena at Survivor Series for the title and set JeriShow and DX aside for a traditional SS match, maybe JeriShow, Zack Ryder, Batista and CM Punk vs. DX, Rey Mysterio, Yoshi Tatsu and Goldust or something, with Undertaker defending against... I don't know, help me out here. I guess how they have it is good. Still...

I'm hoping that once the Rumble-to-WM swing begins that we get a more vibrant product, because right now, the dullness is just killing me. About the only thing that's interesting to me outside of what Jericho and Show are doing each week is Kofi Kingston... not a bad thing, but I want more out of my flagship show, plz.

'Rasslin' Six Packs: Wrestling Longshots That Would Be AWESOME

Today, I post the first of what I hope will be many really cool six-packs. If you don't know the concept of a six-pack, well, it's easy enough to follow along. Today's six-pack - six things that have a long shot of happening but would be really freakin' sweet if they did. These things aren't likely to happen (read: Claudio Castagnoli or Davey Richards getting signed to WWE deals), nor are they really impossible (read: Brock Lesnar forsaking MMA and coming back to pro wrestling). Without further ado...

1. Chikara gets a wrestling game made in the style of WWE No Mercy

Most fans agree that No Mercy is one of, if not the best, wrestling game ever (Fire Pro, using a similar engine, gets a lot of love as well). There has been chatter that an updated version would be released on the Wii Virtual Console, but it's been just that... chatter. Honestly, it would be great if the Aki guys could break free of THQ and develop an awesome video game for the most awesome fed going today... Chikara! Imagine having fully functional Quack, Jig, the Portal, the Colony, Akuma and others to play in the most user-friendly match interface ever. It's a wrestling nerd's wet dream, but admit it... you'd buy it and play it too, if just so you can get taunts like this:



Just an aside... Koppo, can I get an "AMEN" to vouch for the awesomeness of UMB?

2. Bryan Danielson and Jack Swagger are in one of the big two title matches at WMXXVII

We all know the WWE is slow on the uptake when it comes to young stars, but there's always hope that Danielson can catch fire and become the new prototype for professional wrestling's present. Of course, it would take an act of God for that to happen, but hey, it's possible. It happened for Lesnar. Fifteen months is plenty of time for a guy to catch fire, and the best opponent for him out of the guys on the roster who would be ideal candidates for a WM main event is Jack Swagger.

Wait wait wait, I want the WWE to elevate two guys by the time two WrestleManias come to pass? Again, it's a slim chance, but it would be awesome. Imagine the matches. There'd be a lot of good amateur flavor, a lot of great submissions, a lot of swagger (no pun intended), a lot of hot tempers. It would be an Internet fan's dream.

3. PWG usurps ROH and TNA as the #2 wrestling company in America and provides a real mainstream alternative to the WWE

This is actually not all that far-fetched, even if PWG has a long way to go before getting on the radars of most wrestling fans out East. It's already got the attentions of the hardcore fans, who have deemed it the best wrestling in the USA right now. PWG has a lot of the big names of the indie world working dates for it - Chris Hero, El Generico, Colt Cabana, Kevin Steen among others - and it's has gotten some big stars to take root there, including RVD (upcoming) and the MCMGs. It's got its identity, its own vibe. It's a mash-up of lucharesu with California flair and personality. Plus, it's better booked than both ROH and TNA at this point. It's not a lock to catch on, but worse things could happen. PWG counter-weighing the WWE's East Coast juggernaut status on the Left Coast might actually be the best thing that could happen for American wrestling.

4. The Rock wrestles one more match if/when he hosts Monday Night RAW

You know that Rocky's gonna host RAW at some point. He's already hinted as much in his legendary 10th Anniversary Smackdown promo. With his movie commitments, insurance concerns may preclude him from doing what every red-blooded wrestling fan wants to see... but what if it doesn't? What if The Rock is able to wrestle one more match?

While my selfish side wants Rock to come back full-time, I can be sustained by the memories of one last match for The Great One. A tilt with CM Punk, a classic rekindling of any one of his great feuds with Triple H, Big Show or Chris Jericho, a veritable passing of the torch to MVP.... the possibilities are endless. Rock was a wrestler unappreciated in his time, but if given one more match, he'd give everyone a memory to hang onto.

5. The Miz breaks through into the main event... as a face!?!?!

The Miz is almost certain to break into the main event at least eventually. He's getting too much exposure not to. Most people think it'll be as a heel, and he is a natural heel. However, in this pointless heel/heel feud with Swagger, the crowd has been slightly getting behind Miz, and in a weird twist of fate, they're starting to complete his signature catchphrase. Rocky started out as a heel getting the fans to "sing along" with him. While I don't think it'd be wise if they turned him face, you can't fight the crowd. Well, actually... nevermind. They've fought the crowd naturally turning Randy Orton face for the last 8 months. Still, Miz as a top face is intriguing.

6. The piledriver is unbanned in the WWE

This could very well happen if the WWE realizes that the move can be performed safely if both guys learn how to do the move properly. I'm not saying it should be brought back wholesale, but as a special, big match move, it'd be awesome to see pulled off. I think that it might make a comeback. The WWE has given us the German Suplex and Regalplex back. They're slightly changing with the times. The piledriver is a quintessential wrestling move. If the WWE realizes that proper training is more important than image, it'll be back.

TNA and the WCW Model

With Hogan joining TNA, in his words, to take over and run things, there has been a lot of chatter on the Internet as to what it means for the company in its struggles to provide honest-to-goodness competition to the WWE as market leader. While the decision is questionable - Hogan and Eric Bischoff both saw WCW, a successful company with lots of financial backing, sink and fail under their partial watch - it still carries hope as the combo was a big reason why WCW was able to beat the WWF in the late '90s for the weeks that it was on top.

Everyone knows what BiscHogan needs to do to get to that point. They need to create an identity that is unique and not a copycat of the WWE's current model. Competition arises when two or more companies try to gain a majority share of the market using different approaches. For example, the cola market is being competed in mainly by Pepsi and Coca-Cola. They both make colas, but Coke's formula is based off a heavy syrup, while Pepsi's formula is lighter and based more off straight cane sugar. In the '90s, the WWF was Pepsi and WCW Coke.

Now, imagine that at some point, Coke goes out of business and a new competitor arises to fill its void. A new company comes in looking to fill the void left by Coke's departure, but instead of coming in with a new formula or even a new twist on Coke's old formula, they ape Pepsi's formula almost to a tee. Then, they start hiring Pepsi's former employees to make it and their former ad reps to come up with the campaigns that are eerily similar to old Pepsi commercials and often keep Pepsi in their mouths. Now, I'm not an expert in marketing, but to me, that sounds like a recipe for failure. If you're going to have that strategy, your cola had better execute on the Pepsi formula exceptionally well, much better than Pepsi does and even then, Pepsi has the history, the name cache and the brand loyalty that will make it hard for a copycat to get over and really succeed in a market they dominate.

So, if it sounds ass-tarded for a cola company to follow that business model, what does it say for a wrestling company, especially one that doesn't really need to reinvent the wheel in order to fill a market need. All they need to do is to give the people who liked WCW something similar to what their demand would dictate. No, I don't mean bait-and-switch and false grandeur, but on the old-school wrestling-based storytelling and top heel model that JCP and later WCW utilized to become competitors to the WWF.

All the while, people including myself have been saying that TNA needs to push a bigtime hero as the big face for the company when the answer is right there. WCW and JCP always hit it big with having the heels be the dominant Champions while the faces chasing them were interchangeable, always different to the hero model of the WWF/E fending off multiple heel challengers in successive months. The WWF/E had Sammartino, Hogan, Hart, Michaels, Austin and Cena, whereas at its most successful, WCW had Flair, the Horsemen, Sullivan, Vader and the nWo. Sting and Luger were never the big stars that they could have been, and by the same token, Rude, Perfect and Undertaker would have been monsters had they been in a promotion where the heel was king.

So in a way, Sting's passing of the torch to AJ Styles is a propos, or at least it should be. Sting was forever playing the plucky underdog, the guy who'd always rise up to defeat the heel menace, whether it was Flair or the nWo. Whether he succeeded or not... well, we can chalk that up to bad booking. Regardless, Styles would be better served to be a main event stopgap, a vanquisher rather than a superman.

With BiscHogan coming in, you'd hope that TNA sees this as a way to resurrect the WCW mentality without making the same mistakes. Sadly, from what I'm seeing on PWSpyware's Twitter feed, Hogan is looking to bring in his cronies and more WWE retreads. Ugh. Still, PWS's feed distributes news from the Site That Shall Not Be Linked, so maybe they got their news wrong or are just making shit up.

Regardless, TNA has the pieces in place. They have credible dominant-type heels like Angle and Samoa Joe. They have plucky, rootable faces in Styles and Hernandez. The pieces are in place. It's just that they need to learn from the mistakes of failures past and get rid of those that would perpetrate the WWE-imitator mentality (i.e. Vince Russo).

Sadly, I don't have the faith that they will. It's nice to dream though.

The Finalized Card for Open the Freedom Gate

From the DGUSA site

The card is finally completed for the Open the Freedom Gate event on November 28th at the ECW Arena. Looking at it, I'm pretty psyched. Here goes:

Main Event #1
Naruki Doi and Masato Yoshino vs. Shingo and Dragon Kid

This match should be a barnburner, and given what went down at the first two events, I'm thinking there'll be a lot of emotion and stiffness mixed in. It won't be an exhibition in MOVEZ~! and head dropping, which is what excites me most about it.

Open the Freedom Gate Title Tourney

I was a bit skeptical of the format when it was announced, but the matches announced thus far look really, really intriguting. Here they are:

Brian Kendrick vs. BxB Hulk

Very good high-energy bout. I'm thinking this should be the proper show opener, although I'm thinking they'll really open with one of the multi-man matches, like...

Johnny Gargano vs. Matt Jackson vs. Nick Jackson vs. Jigsaw vs. Gran Akuma vs. Lince Dorado

This will most likely open, and I think it'll be a dazzling spotfest. I'm looking forward to seeing Gargano, who is really big in the Midwest and about whom I've heard plenty of good things. The others in the match all have solid pedigrees.

Mike Quackenbush vs. CIMA vs. Super Crazy vs. Jorge "Skayde" Rivera

Holy Lucha Libre, Batman! This could steal the show, as long as Super Crazy isn't blown up and Quack is fully recovered from his bad back that's hampered him all year long.

YAMATO vs. Davey Richards

It's a bit odd that they'd pair up two of the biggest heels from the first two shows in one of the matches. I was kinda hoping for a Richards/Doi or YAMATO/Quack for a tourney match for sense-making purposes, but I have no doubts about the quality here.

The second part of the main is the four-way elimination match for the belt itself. The only match I really think is easy to call is Richards going over YAMATO. I really think they're going to strap DR here, and I don't blame them. He's hot property right now. If I were a betting man, I'd say that we're going to see DR, CIMA, Kendrick and Akuma in the finals with DR pinning CIMA to take the title.

Golden Circle/VIP Bonus Match
Eddie Kingston vs. Hallowicked

This could be fun, but alas, I won't be able to see it.

The card looks stacked on paper. With how good the first show was and the rave reviews the Chicago show is getting (I'm gonna try to catch it on PPV this week), there's no reason to believe that this won't deliver.

One final note, Gabe Sapolsky and Richards are getting behind a new promotion called EVOLVE, which is still in the developmental stages. The Site That Shall Not Be Linked has the story. This is interesting since DR is a big player in ROH, and ROH and DGUSA/Sapolsky are rivals in the indie world right now. EVOLVE will be set to compete with ROH directly as it'll be based in the Northeast. I wonder what this'll mean for Richards going forward.

Friday Five: Hulk Hogan

In honor of him "taking over" in TNA...

1. How strong a case does Hogan have for Wrestler of the '80s? How about '90s?

2. What was your favorite Hulk Hogan moment?

3. Hogan's ring work, underrated or ranked just fine?

4. How does Hogan's backstage rep change your view of him if at all?

5. Do you think Hogan going to TNA is a good thing?

ROH on HDNet Taping, 11/5: or HOLY CRAP! Necro Did a Frankensteiner!

Another round of ROH TV tapings and another eventful evening of wrestling and storyline advancement. As always, Ring of Honor puts on a good show for the taping crowd, which is as good as Philly is going to get for the foreseeable future. Half-waving ROH is better than no ROH, I says. Jim Cornette was out signing autographs and schmoozing, but I didn't go over because it was Jim Cornette and not someone awesome like El Generico or Colt Cabana.

Your pre-taping matches featured a tag match between two generic teams no one cared about. The heels tried getting heat by bringing up the World Series. They bombed hard. Then, Sugarfoot Payne came out wearing no padding in his crotchal region much to the horror of the people in the front rows (us included). He beat some guy named Tony Luke. We made cheesesteak cracks the whole match. Final one was a tag match featuring some dudes against Grizzly Redwood and Bobby Dempsey, who continues to be the most over guy at the ECW Arena despite being nothing more than a jobber to the main roster.

The main tapings started with Cornette calling the roster out for an announcement. He implemented a "Pick Six" format where the 12 best guys on the roster as deemed by the ROH offices would wrestle each taping cycle to determine the six top contenders to the title. Austin Aries came out fashionably late to Cornette's chagrin, and Corny mocked the A Double L Double as a farce (that being the lottery Aries has been using to name challengers as of late). He then made a title match for the end of the tapings as Aries vs. Kenny Omega vs. Davey Richards vs. Roderick Strong. Funny, Richards and Strong were both named to Pick Six matches for the duration of the tapings, but they got to forgo the process beforehand and get a shot at the title. Honestly, Adam Pearce needs to stop trying to emulate the WWE and TNA and actually go with what got ROH there.

First match is a Pick Six match, Delirious vs. Kenny King. It was a pretty fun affair, and Delirious is crazy over as well. Best spot in the match was when he licked the plams of his hands and rubbed it into King's face. We tried to get a "You have swine flu" chant directed at King, but as with most of our chants, it fell flat. Delirious won, which is good. I'd love to see him and Aries tangle.

Next up were a couple of squashes. Erick Stevens just bulldozed through some poor kid, and Steve Corino made an appearance in street clothes. He gave his jobber a forfeit win, and then suckered him into a sneak attack afterwards. Good to see Corino, although I'm not sure where he fits in the new ROH.

Main event of the first set of tapings was another Pick Six match, Tyler Black vs. Sonjay Dutt. Dutt had amazing backne going. I was praying Black didn't pull a lungblower out, because it would have covered the crowd in pus. The match went about five minutes too long and it bored the hell out of me. I don't see what everyone else sees in Black. The crowd seems to want him to be the next World Champion... but what does he do other than project the image that he cuts himself at night? I guess I don't get it. But yeah, the match just seemed like two indie spot monkeys running through the motions, trying to fit as many counters and holds into a period of time with no pacing. Pass.

After intermission, Chris Hero came out and bitched about not being booked in the Pick Six. HE then put over his elbow strikes as the most deadly in ROH and his physique as the most statuesque, both which elicited Claudio Castagnoli to come out and dispute both. Corny made another apperance and told Hero that he would be booked against Omega in the next set of tapings, while Claudio's match in the Pick Six would be "later tonight". Segue into some poor jobber coming out to eat a bunch of elbows from Hero. I think I got Hero to turn and look at me when I shouted "Hero, using an elbow? THAT'S A SHOCK!" Regardless of my tauntings, Hero looked the part of a next-level talent from entrance to exit. I love his Death Blow finisher, and he's improving his mic skills and ring presence.

Next up was Necro Butcher taking on Joey Ryan. Now, I'm not the biggest Necro fan, but the dude had the spot of the night when he hit Ryan with a Frankensteiner. I repeat, big, oafy Necro Butcher nailed a Frankensteiner in the match. It was awesome. I gave Necro the "I'm not worthy" for that, and really, it's one of my top 10 spots of the year. Necro won via DQ when Ryan shot baby powder into his eyes. Embassy beat down was interrupted by one Erick Stevens. I admit, if they're switching partners on Necro for this extended feud, Stevens ain't a bad choice. He's better than Brent Albright, I'll tell ya.

Main event of the second taping was Claudio taking on Cabana. Very fun match, and again, I got annoyed when people started chanting "boring" at the chain wrestling. I won't rant this time. Colt and Claudio have really good chemistry together, plus it's always fun mocking Prince Nana.

No intermission for the final tapings, as we get right into it with what I thought was the match of the night. The Briscoes took on El Generico and Kevin Steen in what was yet another fantastic match in a great year for tag team wrestling. As much as I hate their characters, the Briscoes are fantastic tag workers, and Generico and Steen are such a treat to watch. The match was for a Tag Title shot at Final Battle, which is an amazing testament to how fast Eddie Edwards is recovering from that horriffic break he had a month back. IT also telegraphed the finish, unless Pearce is a glutton for punishing his fans by retreading SteenErico/Wolves pt. 2394823904823. Briscoes won after a spike TD '91. BEE TEE DUBYA, Jay Briscoe almost had Dutt beat in the backne department.

The second best match of the night was the main event four-way. Usually, those kinds of matches turn clusterfuck really fast, but everyone involved had a great sense of pacing and of when to duck out of the ring and when to be in the action. All four had some amazing strikeage going on. A lot of stiff kicks and punches. While I didn't get the attention of the Wolves like I did last time, I did get Shane Hagadorn to go back and forth with me. I called him "Lumbergh", he said it didn't fit. I replied "Yeah it does, I mean, you're the goober in a shirt and tie standing next to a dude with two first names," at which Edwards gave me a sidelong glance in disgust. Hagadorn replied with siccing Edwards on me, to which I told him I had a lawyer on retainer. Classic. Again, the best thing to do if you're a heel is to interact with the crowd. We'll respect you for it, even if we boo the crap out of you when you're in character.

Anyway, Aries retained after picking the bones on Omega after Strong hit him with a Tiger Driver, and then he got the fuck out of dodge. Great weasel finish for the company's top weasel heel. Aries is still your overlord. Aries somehow made it back to the ring to get his vest, and then Tyler Black came out and chased him off, motioning to the crowd that he was coming for the title. MEH TO YOU, TYLER BLACK!

All in all, another good show. Honestly, if you want to see a good wrestling show and don't want to pay a lot of money, between ROH and Chikara, you got it made in the shade in Philly.