Monday, March 1, 2010

Instant Feedback: Real Talk with John Cena

It was a tale of two shows. On one hand, you had a superb interview/promo type show that moved a lot of stuff along towards WrestleMania. The Triple H/HBK promo to start the show was effective. I didn't want to like it, but they had good delivery. The Vince/Bret stuff was pretty good too. Vince was on fire as he usually is, although unless this ends with Bret faking everyone out with his injury and totally rolling Vince at WM, I don't see how the hokey car accident bullshit is more effective than maybe Batista with a "vicious attack to the head!" or something. (or maybe not since Batista isn't the safest worker out there...) Even the Cheech and Chong stuff was passable in terms of their terrible comedy. I mean, I'm as tired as anyone of seeing guys like William Regal or Primo Colon get their only apperances on the show in minute cameos during bullshit comedy segments, but the old stoners were legitimately funny.

The real star of the show though was the promo battle between Cena and Batista. It wasn't perfect by any means. Batista's delivery, though improved as a smarmy heel, still needs work, and there was a point when Cena was replying to Batista's claims that he should be the star and face of the company when I thought he was going into stock material and didn't sell what Batista was saying. That being out of the way, I thought it was out-of-the-park awesome. This is how you work "real life" into a match build to make it hot, not by referencing shit that happened backstage ten years ago that half the audience doesn't even get, Bischoff. Plus, I marked when Cena said he was spitting "real talk". I would love to see a wrestler use that as his catchphrase, but yeah.

On the other hand... if this was supposed to be a wrestling show well, it was barely evident. The first match was pretty good. Ted DiBiase and Randy Orton did well in the ring, and I'm really digging Orton of late in the ring. He's growing out of leaning on the restholds and really developing an offense. Since the crowd is turning him face, it's only natural that he adds a little more pizzazz to his offensive repertoire. Besides, DiBiase and Rhodes both have growing to do, and in the WWE, you grow more as a heel. Just look at the buzzes behind guys like MVP, Mr. Kennedy, Mark Henry and John Morrison and see how they dissipated with their face turns. Sure, they were more over with the fans, but they lost something behind their delivery. Then again, they could afford to lose edge in exchange for face pops. I don't think Legacy is at that point yet.

That being said, the other three matches and glorified dirty-old-man fest were, well... bad. The two MitB qualifiers being squashes... Christ, way to make it appear like the front office knows who really deserves a spot for consideration. I could see Santino getting squashed, but Zack Ryder? Really? You couldn't have given the match some time for Ryder to actually look like he belonged in the same ring? I mean, I know you're in a corner because Chavo Guerrero broke his ankle and now you don't have a heel comedy jobber, but fuck, Zack Ryder is a future star. MVP should be a favorite to win MitB, but at least make him break a sweat.

The tag title match was on its way to being something decent. I can overlook Shawn Michaels' strikes looking about as flaccid as my dick after watching Two Girls, One Cup because it was probably a sign that he was going to do the job. However, that finish, Michaels just staring at Undertaker on the TitanTron... it's overused. How many times in the last year have they done a finish similar to that, where a guy appears on the TitanTron, or theme music plays, or they come out onto the top of the stage and it causes a flash pin? Honestly, they should have either put ShowMiz over clean and had Sheamus lay out DX after the match, or they should have had Sheamus cause the DQ, or they should have had some other kind of creative mindgame played by Undertaker instead of that weaksauce ending.

The dichotomy was pretty frustrating, but for this week, I'll take the good over the bad. Maybe it's because I'm in a good mood with NXT and think that it's going to deliver again tomorrow. Maybe it's because I'm a mark for Douchebagtista. Maybe I'm working on little sleep over the last couple of weeks and think if I don't praise RAW, they'll send Mad Dog Vachon after me to eat my soul. Or maybe I'm losing my jadedness. I don't know. Either way though, I'm hoping they bring their A-game out next week, because even if TNA seems to have no fucking clue what they're doing, they can still leech audience just by invoking the word competition. Here's hoping for two strong shows next Monday.