Hey Alanis, THIS Is Irony

Courtesy of FUCK YEAH! WRESTLING!: The Tumblr Page



Maybe this poster wouldn't have been as funny if it really WAS anthrax in that little baggie...

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

No More Guttaral Laughs in the WWE

Via WWE.com

Tony Atlas got the axe from the WWE today. Atlas was best known in his latest run firstly as the ne'er-do-well manager of Mark Henry and then later on as professional laugh track provider, quipper and the black Ed McMahon on the short-lived Abraham Washington Show. While Atlas' laugh was the only thing that made that "show" tolerable and one of my favorite things about wrestling last year, there wasn't much left for him to do with the company. It sucks for him though unless an indie company that can afford him brings him on as a manager or announcer or something.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Friday Five: The Draft

In the aftermath of the Draft...

1. What brand do you feel "won" the Draft?

2. What was your all-time favorite Draft moment?

3. How would you fix the Draft process if you would at all?

4. What wrestler should have moved this year that didn't?

5. Did this year's Draft feel lacking to you?

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

HoganFAIL

Stern recap courtesy of PWTorch

Here's something funny. Hulk Hogan was on Howard Stern yesterday talking about various things from wrestling to the inane bullshit pervert questions Stern likes to ask. One of the topics to come up was the subject of TNA's Knockouts division, and Hogan apparently specifically named Torrie Wilson as someone he'd like to bring in. Well, apparently, Wilson caught wind of that and had this to say on her Facebook page:



Damn, that's as big a verbal smackdown as you can get without letting any kind of snark or snippiness creep into it. Hogan also responded to a Steve Austin tweet that said, well, you look for yourself:

Flair with the brassnucks to the balls...truly the dirtiest player in the game...still. Hogan to the ring...time to change the channel.

...yeah. Not exactly a ringing endorsement. Still, Hogan responded with civility, saying he still wanted Austin to come to TNA and perhaps even wrestle him. Like that's happening. If Austin were going to work one more match, he'd probably opt for WrestleMania. On one hand, it's good to see that Hogan doesn't take the "burn every f'n bridge I can for people that even remotely cross me" path that his business associate Eric "TNA Superstar" Bischoff seems to be taking. On the other hand, his pandering to folks like Wilson and Austin come off as desperate, and it's not becoming of a guy trying to build competition to the monolithic WWE from the ground up. Eh, I guess it's good for comedy though.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Know Your Indie Wrestlers: Mike Quackenbush

Who?: Mike Quackenbush
Promotions: Chikara, DGUSA, EVOLVE, IWA-MS (alumnus), CZW (alumnus), ROH (alumnus)
Alias: Lightning, The Master of 1000 Holds
Current Affiliations: Every single tecnico in Chikara is affiliated with Quack in some way or another. Hell, even some of the rudos are as well. Quack has trained nearly every graduate of the Chikara Wrestle Factory since he and Reckless Yough opened it in 2002. Currently, his main affiliation is with Frightmare and Hallowicked in Team Frightening in both the recently completed King of Trios and in EVOLVE. He's also had close affiliation with Jigsaw and The Future Is Now (Helios, Equinox and pre-BDK Lince Dorado) in the very recent past. He also once had a very strong tie with his trainer Jorge "Skayde" Rivera until the two had a falling out very recently.

Height: 6'
Weight: 191 lbs.
Hometown: West Lawn, PA

After the jump... Wrestling Style: He's not called the Master of 1000 Holds for nothing, you know. He can work a varied style, but his bread and butter lies in lightning-fast lucha libre exchanges and holds segueing into big indie-style head drops in heated matches.

Signature Maneuvers:

Quackendriver Montage:


Alligator Clutch:


Quackenrana into Quackendriver 3:


Top 20 Moves of Mike Quackenbush:


Titles Held:

NWA Jr. Heavyweight Championship (current)
2007 Chikara King of Trios Champion (with Jigsaw and Shane Storm)
CZW Jr. Heavyweight Championship (2x)
IWA-MS Heavyweight Championship
IWA-MS Light Heavyweight Championship

Promos:

Pre-match promo against Gran Akuma:


Disappointment at Shane Storm (now STIGMA):


The previous promo referring to the events described in this video:


Forming an unlikely alliance with the Order of the Neo-Solar Temple:


Why You Should Know Mike Quackenbush:

You should know Quack because he's one of the most influential wrestlers in independent wrestling today, if not the most influential. The list of wrestler's he's trained or help train is immense and includes the compendium of guys who got their start in Chikara, including Eddie Kingston and Claudio Castagnoli, two men who are among the hottest names on the indie scene right now. Along with Reckless Youth, he's the reason Chikara exists today, and he's the driving creative force in a fed that I unabashedly consider my favorite of all-time at the present moment.

On top of all that, he's one of the best wrestlers in North America today. He can have a good match with anyone, and he's been proving it his entire career. Ever since I started following Chikara, he's never had a bad match and has produced thoroughly entertaining fare from guys such as Tursas all the way down to Frightmare and everywhere in between. Any time he's on a card, I know that at least one match is going to be excellent.

And despite him coming up on 20 years in the business, there's no real sign that he's going anywhere, unless his nagging back injuries sideline him. He's got his hands in the pot in both the Gabe Sapolsky feds (DGUSA and EVOLVE) in addition to Chikara. He's also been known to work a few ROH dates here and there. Honestly, if there's only one guy you know and really follow in the indies, it should be Mike Quackenbush. The guy's a legend, maybe the biggest legend who's never stepped foot in a WWE, WCW or TNA ring.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

This Week in Off-Topic: Super Mario Crossover

Courtesy of Newgrounds

Every once in awhile, something comes along on the Internet that is so awesome and so full of complete and utter win that the world must stop to behold it. Yesterday was one of those occasions. It was when the world at large was introduced to Newgrounds' new Flash game, Super Mario Bros. Crossover. Made by a user named Exploding Rabbit, it's a fully faithful recreation of the original Super Mario Bros. game, only now, you can choose different characters to play it. I'm not talking Luigi, Peach, Toad or any other characters from the Marioverse. I'm talking other classic NES characters from other games. Samus Aran. Bill R. Mega Man. Simon Belmont. Link.

Yes, that's right. It's a 1980s adolescent's gaming wet dream. All five new characters are controlled in the same manner as they were in their original games, which makes for some pretty interesting gameplay in the original 8-bit Mushroom Kingdom. Of course, you can also play as Mario, but really, what's the fun in that?

Rather than prattle on about this game anymore, I'm just going to shut up and let you guys play it. Seriously, it's unmitigated nostalgia with an extra added challenge heaped on top (it's actually got a nice degree of difficulty to it). Play it, and if you don't love it, then you probably have no soul.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Your Morning Lulz

You'll never look at Undertaker the same way after seeing this.



Thanks to A1 poster The Dark Knight for finding this.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Knockouts Division to Take Another Hit

Courtesy of F4W Online

Tara, formerly known as Victoria in the WWE and whose real name is Lisa Marie Varon, confirmed today on her Twitter account that she's high-tailing it out of TNA. The issue? $$$$$$$$ In my view, this is a huge blow to the Knockouts Division in that they already lost Awesome Kong and are now going to have to rely on the Beautiful People, both current and former, and a tranny with huge implants to carry a once thriving division. That is, unless they actually start using the women they have, like Hamada, Sarita, Taylor Wilde and Cheerleader Mel... oh that's right, they let her walk too. Right.

I've heard rumors that Varon wants to go back to the WWE. Honestly, she'd be a welcomed addition to the Divas roster, but I don't know what the interest from Stamford is. Either way, shitty, shitty news for TNA fans everywhere. You'd think that if they were going to focus more on the KOs that they'd shell out money for their marquee face... unless they maybe don't have the money? *cue ominous music*

Photo Credit: TNAWrestling.com

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

The Best Moves of All-Time: RAGNAROK

Momentous occasion here on TWB. This is the first ever triple-team move to make it to the BMoAT feature, mainly because they're so rare. Cohesive trios that wrestle together on a regular basis are few and far between outside of Mexico and Chikara. In honor of their winning the King of Trios (even if it involved squishing Bryce Remsburg and winning by dubious means) and by request of blog-fan Sean Williams, I submit to you a swing-gate triple-team Iconoclasm, also known as Ragnarok.



Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Wrestling Six Packs: Reasons Why Smackdown Made out Like Bandits in the Draft

The WWE Draft finished up yesterday with the Supplemental Draft moving mostly bit players and Divas around between the two brands while Melina typed in all CAPS LOCK and Fink made inappropriate but awesome comments. Now that the dust has settled, we can look at the entirety of the Draft and see who made out. Usually, both brands get a new look that improves both and freshens the scene up from the nine months prior to the Royal Rumble (the unofficial date when the brand split goes to hell for the rest of the WM-to-WM year and the build to WM begins).

A funny thing happened this year though. Smackdown didn't get a single guy who would be considered WWE royalty. If you take Undertaker out of the equation, Smackdown's roster has 7 World Championships won in the WWE among them, with three of them coming in the last 2 years by CM Punk. There's no John Cena, no Triple H, no Batista, no Randy Orton... fuck, there's not even Edge or Chris Jericho. Smackdown surely got jobbed then, right?

Wrong. Smackdown got the better end of this draft, and here are six reasons why:

1. CM Punk is now the brand's top heel

While Edge, Chris Jericho and Batista are all great heels in their own right, who's been a hotter heel in the last year tha CM Punk? Really, no one. Punk's Straight Edge Society has taken on a life of its own and deserves to have the top of the fed to itself. With Jack Swagger as his best, most established competition as a heel, Punk's TV time, highlight matches and focus will only increase from here on out.

2. There's a good chance Christian will resume his stellar 2009 feud with Jack Swagger... over the World Heavyweight Championship

Although, according to the Smackdown spoilers, Big Show is next in line for a World Championship feud, you have to believe that Christian, who has history in the erstwhile ECW with SWAGGAH~!, is among the next in line to get a World Championship shot. I think the placement of his draft announcement, right after SWAGGAH~! stood victorious over John Morrison to earn Smackdown that pick, telegraphs as much. And you know what? I'm more than fine with that. If you ask anyone who really followed the WWE or wrestling in general last year what the best feuds were for in-ring work were last year, I'd be utterly shocked if Christian/Swagger wasn't mentioned in at least half the responses. As a fan of both guys, especially together in the ring, I find this absolutely exciting.

3. There's no threat of these young lions who need protection being fed to Triple H on a regular basis

Or John Cena. Or Batista. Or Randy Orton. Smarks who've claimed that they like wrestling have said for years that they just want to see new blood get pushed and not have to fear the jobhammer from one of the WWE's elite main event types. Well, given that I'm partially in that group, I'm tickled pink that a bunch of guys that I think could and will carry a show well will finally get the chance to do it on their own and not under the crushing weight of the establishment. For those who continue to whine about Smackdown's status as a "B-show" though, chew on this. Would the Will Ferrell/Darrell Hammond/Jim Breuer/Molly Shannon/Tracy Morgan era SNL cast have fared better if they had to share the stage with Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Phil Hartman, Dana Carvey and Mike Myers? Probably not. They got their own chance to shine, and shine they did. So... given that, why on God's green earth would you complain about not having Orton, Trips or even Sheamus (who's new, but isn't pushed like he's new) come over and give the show "star power" when you have an opportunity for a fresh new cast of wrestlers to create their own?

4. Undertaker's presence on the roster will only make people better (unless he goes over everyone at will)

Forget that Undertaker came back last year and unceremoniously ended CM Punk's excellent World Championship reign for whatever reason you happen to believe. That seems to be the anomaly of '00s Taker, who, for a guy who spent the first decade of his WWF career not selling for anyone, has surprisingly and oddly become one of the most giving wrestlers on the roster. He put Brock Lesnar over huge in a Hell in a Cell match. In the last few years, he's lost several clean pinfalls to JBL, Big Show and even Vladimir Kozlov of all people. While he might heed the call from booking to carry the World Championship should ratings go in the shitter, I think both he and management know that he's on his last legs and that Smackdown is now the young lions' show. I have faith that Taker's going to at least put someone not named Kane or Big Show over in a meaningful way before he retires.

5. The worst wrestler on the roster is Kane, and Kane really ain't that bad

Okay, I'm lying. Scrooge McPoyle is the worst wrestler on the roster, and he is getting pushed fairly hard, but for all intents and purposes, well... fuck Scrooge McPoyle... err, I mean, he's a young guy and has actually improved since skulking his way onto the roster last year. Kane, however, is about as old as you'll get without delving into Finlay territory, and it seems like his aptitude for improving in the ring has plateaued. That's fine because Kane really isn't that bad. He's not Mike Knox, but then again, who can compete with that lustruous hobo beard and crossbody? BTW THANX AGAIN WWE FOR RELEASING HIM ARGGHHH!!111 Anyway... yeah, Kane with this roster is a good fit, especially with Big Show coming over and guys like Luke Gallows and Shad Gaspard on the rise.

6. This is the smark's dream roster.

Okay, maybe that's a bit of hyperbole, seeing as Bryan Danielson Daniel Bryan, Chris Jericho, Evan Bourne, Chris Hero, Davey Richards, Samoa Joe and other smark faves aren't here, but if you think about it, well, it's already got a variety of guys that are Internet favorites who are already in prime position to take the top of the card and make it their own. I submit that there's no WWE wrestler who's not an NXT rookie right now more universally loved on the Internet than CM Punk is. Christian has been the beneficiary of calls for the better part of a decade to be elevated to the main event in the WWE, even when he was in TNA. Jack SWAGGAH~! is a smark favorite. MVP... well, I like MVP. Hell, even Matt Hardy might even be poised to go to the top of the card if he loses weight and stops getting injured so damn much.

The point is, I feel like that negative reactions to this are based more in a tendency to whine and complain about everything "management" of a company does rather than enjoying the product. To me, the criticisms aren't about Smackdown being filled with guys no one likes. It's quite the contrary. I just find it funny that some of the same people who screamed in the past for Christian, Punk, Swagger, MVP and others to be featured more and Orton, Trips, Cena and others featured less are getting what they want and are still finding things to bitch about when they get exactly that. My point is... just sit back, relax and watch Smackdown. Ultimately, you and I have the power here, the power to watch Smackdown, get it good ratings and tell the WWE that yes, we do want to see fresh blood on top. This is an unprecedented opportunity, and I, quite frankly, am glad that it's happening. For that reason, Smackdown killed in this Draft, at least from an Internet fan's point of view.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Know Your Indie Wrestlers: Joey Ryan

Before I get to this, yeah, I know, King of Trios really messed up the schedule for the regular blog features. From the Archives got bumped Sunday, the Tuesday Know Your Indie Wrestler got delayed from the morning until now and I may not get a Six Pack up until tomorrow (not bumping the Six Pack, I have a great topic this week). Plus, the first entry I got up today was the KoT review. But really, KoT was so awesome that I felt like I had to give it its proper due. Once the house is in order by tomorrow, we should be back on track. Aaaaanyway....



Who?: Joey Ryan
Promotions: PWG, ROH, IWA-MS, WSX (alumnus)
Alias: The Draw, Magnum
Current Affiliations: A member of Prince Nana's Embassy in ROH along with Ernesto Osiris, Erick Stevens and others. In PWG, Ryan is joined at the hip with Scott Lost.

Height: 5'10"
Weight: 210 lbs.
Hometown: Los Angeles, CA

After the jump... Wrestling Style: Typical indie movez/highspot worker with a basic grasp of strikes and psychology as a base.

Signature Maneuvers:

Moustache Ride:


Top 10 Moves of Joey Ryan:


Titles Held:

PWG World Championship
PWG Tag Team Championship (3x, Scott Lost)
NWA World Tag Team Championships (Karl Anderson)

Promos:

Joey Ryan and Scott Lost: Then and Now


Rated "S" for Sleazy:


An NWA Promo with Tag Partner Karl Anderson:


And Just for the lulz:


Why You Should Know Joey Ryan: Joey Ryan is one of the founding members of PWG, which may be the hottest indie fed in the country, Chikara notwithstanding. As a founding member, he's got a lot of history with the fed and he's a mainstay, one that probably will never go away unless he unfortunately gets hurt like Super Dragon or gets a call from the WWE (to do more than job or appear as security during the Big Show/Mayweather match at WM24) or TNA. He's also branching out to the East Coast, having made his ROH debut last year and entrenching himself in one of the fed's oldest stables, The Embassy.

Ryan is also among the most charismatic wrestlers and best promos in the business. The guy has such great delivery, a great classic gravelly wrestling voice, so old school in tone and yet very modern in delivery. He looks like a throwback to the '70s, or at the very least a cheesy porno film, and it onloy adds to his lustre.

Either way, Ryan has flown under the radar and been a treasure known only to West Coast indie stalwarts until recently. I think he'll have no problem winning this coast over with every day he spends getting to know and work in front of the savvy ROH fans.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Three Awesome Days In South Philly: Chikara King of Trios 2010

Three days of tournament action. Three days of wrestling near-perfection. That's right, King of Trios just finished up, and I'm in utter awe. Just when you think that the bar is at a set level, Chikara comes, smashes the bar and places another one astronomically higher than where it was before. Wow. Let's get to the recaps, shall we?

Warning: Be prepared to be here for awhile, because this is a pretty wordy review!

Night 1There was such an anticipation in the air to start the event. I personally felt antsy for the whole thing to begin, to the point where once the lights went down and Louden Noxious Gavin Loudspeaker came out to start the proceedings, I marked a bit right there.

The event kicked off with FIST taking on The Throwbacks plus Matt Classic. The match began with a tip off, much to the bewilderment of both Icarus and refree Nick Papageorgio. Sugar Dunkerton tipped the ball to Dasher Hatfield, who threw the ball right back at Icarus' dome. As you would expect from a match featuring Dunkerton, Dasher and Classic, it was time for one of Chikara's patented comic relief matches, and as you would expect from Chikara, it was pretty effective. The match saw all three Throwbacks locking the Iron Claw in on Icarus, Chuck Taylor challenging Classic to a mat wrestling affair, only for Classic to reply with a backrake, Icarus and Gran Akuma unwittingly interlocking their arms together only for Dunkerton to throw down a dunk with the basketball through them to "I Believe I Can Fly", Classic doing about 10 minutes of step aerobics while he wasn't in the ring and finally, Classic downgrading a top rope dive to the outside to a second rope dive to a first rope dive to a dive off the apron. However, it would be FIST advancing after a sandwich combo enzugiri from Akuma and dropkick from Taylor into a lungblower from Icarus on Classic for the pinfall.

The second match of the evening saw Team Big Japan taking on Team Frightning. This was the first of several special apperances from BJW referee Nippon Ni, an anomalous female ref. This was my personal favorite match of the first night, as not only did we have the contrast in body types between the bulky BJW team of Daisuke Sekimoto, Okobayashi and Kankuro Hoshino (who had enough scarring on his back to last three lifetimes) and the lanky, American cruiser-indie built team of Mike Quackenbush, Hallowicked and Frightmare. Frightmare did in this match what he does best all the time - take big moves and sell like a Champ. There was a point in the beginning of the match where I thought Okobayashi was going to accidentally break poor Frightmare in half. The real revelation in this match for me though was Sekimoto, who was a BEAST. The guy throws the meanest, most vicious looking vertical suplex I've ever seen in my life. He also German suplexed Quack and Frighmare at the same time. Sick. BJW got the surprise win as Frightmare tapped to a cutthroat torture rack from Okobayashi.

I have to say, the real star of this match was Sekimoto. I can see why he has a fan following and had people wanting him to face Eddie Kingston on Night 3. The guy was this year's Kota Ibushi, only if Kota Ibushi weren't a high-flying spot machine but a stiff, barrell-chested head-dropper. I guess I mean to say he was this year's standout puro import.

Third match was supposed to be the BDK team of Claudio Castagnoli, Ares and Tursas taking on Skayde, Turbo and Valiente, but because Skayde allegedly pulled a greedy douchebag move, they weren't there. I say allegedly because I've only heard one side of the story, but still.... let's not get into that. Anyway, they did what they usually do to fill in a replacement by bringing out the lucky Phillies hat and drawing from it. The first two choices of Well Dunn and Strikeforce weren't in the house when Bryce Remsburg went to fetch them. However, the place blew up when he did come back with the Osirian Portal. Gavin and Bryce were about to draw the third name when Dieter von Stiegerwalt, the Chikara Director of Fun, came out and demanded that BDK ring announcer Jakob Hammermeir pull a name from the BDK hat. And it was... Sara del Rey.

The First Lady of the BDK did everything in her power to help her teammates beat the Portal. Her first foray into the squared circle saw her attempt to lay down for Tursas. She kept sabotaging the Portal at every turn, keeping Amasis from making saves for Ophidian, distracting Bryce when it would have behooved the BDK for her to do so and generally being a little shit. The Portal got her neutralized for a bit with their Snake Charm taunt, but she still got her mitts on the Portal enough for them to get caught up and distracted. The BDK snagged Ophidian in their triple-team swing-around Iconoclasm they do called the Ragnarok. It's quite an impressive move to see live, actually. Ophidian ate the pin and then got beaten down further after the match.

The fourth match, the UnStable vs. Team Osaka Pro, was the weakest one on the Night 1 card. Maybe it's because I don't like Vin Gerard or STIGMA all that much, but I just couldn't get into it, but I didn't really notice much out of it aside from how athletic and insanely fast Atsushi Kotoge was. Man, he was quicker than a hiccup to borrow a phrase from Good Ol' JR. Delaney ate a German suplex hold from Daisuke Harada and Osaka Pro moved on.

Intermission was next, and I met Colt Cabana, who must have been there to give Matt Classic a lift to and from the Arena. I bought an autographed picture of him from his Scotty Goldman days and a Colt Cabana pin. Awesome! He's very down to earth and approachable. A veritable cool guy and friend of the blog (even if he doesn't realize it!).

First match after break was the tilt between the Jack of All Trios, Aeroform and Johnny Gargano, taking on the Colony. This was my first exposure to Aeroform, and let me say, I was very impressed. I particularly took a shine to Louis Lyndon, who had a Last Dragon/Bruce Leroy thing going on with his detachable afro and kung-fu style. Anyway, as has been the custom, Green Ant was the punching bag for the Colony for most of the beginning of the match. He was cornered and did the whole face-in-peril thing pretty well as well, par for the course. The Colony ended up making a comeback and winning when Fire Ant hit Flip Kendrick with the Beach Break.

Match six came up next as the Bruderschaft B-Team of Lince Dorado, Tim Donst and Pinkie Sanchez took on the F1rst Family of Arik Cannon and the North Star Express of Darin Corbin and Ryan Cruz. Pre-match, Ryan Cruz got up on the turnbuckles to appeal to the fans and got a good pop. Indignantly, Donst got up and tried to appeal and got booed. Corbin followed and got a cheer, then Lince for a boo, then Cannon with a cheer and then Pinkie with a boo. Then, referee Papageorgio got up on the turnbuckle and got cheered for the first time I can remember. Wow, the BDK must be doing a great job at creating heel heat if Papageorgio is going to get a pop in opposition to them.

The match itself was a fun sprint with a lot of cool spots. I was really impressed by the NSE for the first time, as they did some cool stuff. For example early on, after a standard Irish whip from Donst where he dropped to the canvas to duck out of the way of the running Cruz, Cruz quickly countered it into a pinning combo. It sounds like it was something trivial, but you know how many times you see that spot on a card and no one thinks to throw a counter like that? It's the little things that really make a match stand out, y'know? The other thing that really stood out to me during the match was how good Pinkie was at heeling it up. Not only is he really good at drawing heat, but the guy's facial expressions, especially when he's about to eat a move from his opponent, are absolutely golden. I wouldn't be sad at all if he ended up winning Young Lions Cup this year, even if he is a dirty BDK traitor.

Anyway, back to the match and let's talk about Darin Corbin for a second, who had a nice stretch in the match where he was the first white guy ever to pull off a Spinarooni successfully (or as I like to call it, a Gingerooni). He followed that up by hitting a springboard tornado DDT on Donst using Pinkie's knees as the launch pad. Amazing. I'm sorry for ever calling the NSE whitebread or generic, because they really brought it in this match. However, it would be the BDK who'd end up with the win after Lince took out everyone on the outside with a tornillo from the top and then Pinkie rolling Cruz back into the ring and locking in the Inverted Chikara Special for the tap out win. I'd also be remiss if I didn't mention that the guys sitting behind me remarked that Donst "looked like Jigglypuff". It wouldn't have been so funny if I didn't right there see the resemblence. Well played. Line of the weekend.

The next match was our second comic relief tilt of the night, Team Delicioso, consisting of Los Ice Creams and CURRY MAN~!~!~! taking on Team Perros del Mal. The first impression I got was from how small Cuije, PdM's mini, is in person. I mean, he was smaller than Mascarita Dorada, and that's pretty tiny. His diminutiveness was a huge source of comedy for the match, as at one point, Alebrije and one of the Ice Creams had a tug of war with him and even played catch with him. They teased throwing him out into the crowd, which is what happens to him on a regular basis in Mexico, but it didn't come to pass. Although the match was pretty humorous, it was on the sloppy side. The Ice Creams seemed to be a bit out of kilter, and really, their heel schtick didn't really fit with CURRY MAN~!~!~!'s antics as well as I would have liked. Also, El Orientale botched a rana, which looked a tad ugly. Still, it wasn't enough for me to not enjoy the match. PdM got the win after Alebrije dropped Cuije onto one of the Ice Creams from the military press position into a splash. Neat finish.

After the match, Loudspeaker came back out to draw the Chikara Raffle for the evening, and then a couple got into the ring. The guy went down on one knee and proposed to the girl. Despite the pleas from the males in the crowd, she said yes. Honestly, while I love my wife and wouldn't trade her for anything in the world, I'd kill for her to be even remotely interested in Chikara let alone want to go to the events with me enough that I could propose to her INSIDE THE RING AT THE F'N ECW ARENA! So. Jealous. All that aside though, it was a nice moment. Congrats to that couple whose names escape me right now. Not like they're among my dozens... AND DOZENS of readers, but hey, it's nice to dream, y'know?

The... *rumblerumblerumblerumblerumble* MAAAAAAAAINNNN EVENT~! of the evening was the Jackson 3 (the Young Bucks and their lil' bro Malachi) vs. Helios, Jigsaw and Equinox from The Future Is Now. I was coming into this match expecting a major spotfest, and after some feeling out (I had joked that we were going to see a mat classic here and if you judged it by the first five minutes, I was looking to be right!), the fireworks started to fly. The real star of the match here was Malachi, who was making his first ever East Coast appearance after cutting his teeth out in Reseda and Burbank for PWG. For a kid who was still supposedly green, he looked really crisp in the ring. He really brought it. TFIN won after Helios hit his 630 Senton on Malachi for the pin. After the match, Loudspeaker and TFIN put over Malachi, but the Bucks didn't have any of it and yelled at their little brother for costing them the match. The Bucks are really dedicated to their TNA heel characters. It was effective though.

Night 1 was in the books, and I thought it was a very solid but draining card. The only match that really didn't deliver was UnStable/Team Osaka Pro. Everything else had something going on that made me get invested in the match. By the time the card was over, I was drained. If I was drained, I couldn't imagine how the wrestlers felt, but to their credit, most of them were out there after the show, shaking hands, hawking and signing merch and mingling with the Chikara fan faithful.

Next up was the Fan Conclave. I ended up not going because I ended up sleeping in and then had some chores to do. If I could do it all over again, I'd have gotten up earlier and made my way down there, because judging from the Podcast-a-Go-Go, it was an awesome spectacle. I have regrets now. Take a look:



Night 2Later on that evening, the Arena was set up for Night 2, and again, the anticipation in the air was palpable. Said anticipation was made even more cutting any time Team Mexico was brought up during the pre-show broadcasting of the Podcast-a-Go-Go on the Arena's closed-circuit TV system. Anytime Skayde's erstwhile team was brought up it was BOOOOOOOOOOO!!! from most of the crowd.

First match of the evening was Brodie Lee's open challenge. He came out all pissed off like he usually does, getting heckled from the crowd for everything from his gravy-stained wifebeater to the fact that he has no friends. He got a mic and cut a promo about how he's tired of being overlooked and called to the back for someone to come out, and out from the back came none other than...

...GRIZZLY REDWOOD~!

The crowd exploded for the diminuative lumberjack as he charged to the ring to exact revenge on Brodie for unceremoniously booting him out of the Roughnecks. This was the shortest full match of the three-night event. Grizz was feisty, but Brodie put him away in short order with a big boot out of the Irish whip. I'm hoping that Grizz sticks around, because he's a tailor-made character for Chikara as well as a fun wrestler in his own right.

Match 2 was the first of four quarterfinal matches, Team BJW vs. TFIN. Given the showing Big Japan put on in Night 1, I expected a similar mismatch of sizes affair with the smaller TFIN guys, and I was right. Again, Sekimoto was the star of the match. The guy's vertical suplex looks like it's an effective move. I mean, when you can make a whitebread vertical suplex look like a WWE-quality finishing grade maneuver, you're doing something right. Okobayashi joined in the stiff-o parade nearly taking Jigsaw's head off with a lariat. The spot of the match though, and maybe the most awe-inspiring spot of the entire tournament, was the stacked German suplex in the corner towards the end of the match. Helios was sitting on the top turnbuckle facing the crowd. Okobayashi grabbed him as if to go for a German superplex, but then Jigsaw grabbed him. Then, just as it looked Jig was going to fire, Sekimoto came over, grabbed Jig, thrust back and took all three guys with him. My. Jaw. Dropped. While I was impressed with him the night previous, I became a full on Sekimoto fan at that moment.

From that point, it was just bedlam, a tumult of spots that was punctuated by Helios hitting the 630 on Sekimoto and Sekimoto kicking out WITH AUTHORITY on a 1 count. Even though the stacked German was more impressive, that got the biggest pop from the crowd out of sheer surprise, since the 630 is Helios' signature finisher. Hoshino, Okobayashi, Equinox and Jig then made it outside the ring and Helios was going for a Space Flying Tiger Drop when Sekimoto charged in from the side, caught Helios mid move and nailed him with a German suplex hold for the 1-2-3.

I know I've said before that I'm not the biggest TFIN fan, Jigsaw excluded (he's awesome), but they earned my respect those first two nights, Helios especially. The way he bumped for Sekimoto was sublime, and his aerial offense is breattaking. I wanna give props to Jig as well, because he was awesome, running around the ring and just making the match seem busy without making it seem clustery if you understand what I'm trying to say. I'm glad Gabe Sapolsky has taken notice, and I hope that ROH does too, because Jig could be a stalwart in the indies for years to come, and I couldn't think of anyone better to become the next Ki/Punk/Joe/Danielson/DR-type.

Next up was the first of two Rey de Voladores eliminators, featuring Malachi Jackson, Amasis, flip Kendrick and Matt "M-Dogg 20" Cross. This match was what you'd expect from a RdV qualifier, a lot of high spots, a lot of requisite dives to the outside. Cross was the big focus of the match, and he wasn't bad here. The first two eliminations came simultaneously, with Amasis eliminating Kendrick with a 450 splash and Cross taking out Malachi with a shooting star press. Shortly thereafter, Cross took out Amasis with a standing SSP.

Match saw the BDK A-Team taking on Team Perros del Mal. Again, Cuije was at the center of the match, especially with the comically contrasted-in-size Tursas teasing squishing him like a little bug. The first three or so encounters between the two saw Tursas booting Cuije clear across the ring. The match ended with Claudio, Ares, Alebrije and El Orientale brawling on the outside, leaving Cuije all alone with Tursas, and Tursas squished the poor little guy with a splash. Cuije was carried out with his boots blown clean off, and the Perros team basked in the cheers that Team Mexico would also have gotten had they actually showed up.

I thought this match could have had a lot more in the way of cool spots. I thought that if this was going to be Cuije's last appearance for the weekend (which it was), that he should have gotten thrown into the crowd. They also missed out on a chance to have Claudio his big spin record from Night 1 last year (100 spins on Grizz) on the smaller, lighter Cuije. Hell, he could have done it with one hand! That being said, it was still a decent match.

Intermission was next, and afterwards, we were treated to an unannounced match between Christopher Daniels and Hallowicked. This was a nice surprise for the crowd, and both men got some pretty healthy chants. It the first time that the Arena crowd was really divided between two competitors all weekend. Much like in the F1rst/BDK B-Team match last night, there was another routine rope-running spot that was countered into a pin that I thought was really cool. Daniels did the whole leapfrog over a running Wicked, but Wicked caught him midair and brought him down for a school-boy roll-up. Again, how many times does the leapfrog spot happen over the course of a card? I love when guys do stuff that spices up the most commonplace of spots. It just makes the match that much more special. Also during the match, some dude in the crowd started chanting "TNA!" at Daniels and got the shit booed out of him. Very lulz-worthy. Finish was Daniels, who was heeling it up the whole match, grabbing Papageorgio while Hallowicked was trying to land the Graveyard Smash. He knocked Wicked over and nailed the Best Moonsault Ever for the win.

Next up saw Team Osaka Pro doing battle with FIST. For as much as their match with the UnStable bored me last night, this one opened my eyes to the sheer awesomeness that the Osaka boys brought to the table. For one, for as quick as Kotoge looked the previous night, he was about 10 times faster Night 2. He also got tossed out of the ring, Royal Rumble-style, at one point and landed on his feet, sticking the landing. Even more amazing, Tadasuke just destroyed Gran Akuma with a DEADLIFT brainbuster. Not that FIST were slouching this match, because all three heeled it up pretty good and really put the Osaka Pro guys over huge as threats. The match ended with a flash pin, FIST in control, but Tadasuke rolling up Chuck Taylor with a tights-pulling school boy. Osaka Pro shockingly advanced, making it two Japanese squads in the final four.

Match 7 was the second RdV eliminator, with Ophidian, Frightmare, Cheech Hernandez nad CZW up-and-comer Rich Swann, who could purportedly do a standing 450 splash, participating. The star of this match was Frightmare, who was just running around all over the place, hitting high-energy moves and bouncing around the ring like a pinball every time he got hit with a move himself. I think over the last year or so following Chikara, Frightmare has become one of my favorites not because of his offense or because he's got a cool character (both of those are very likeable qualities that he has though). It's because he wrestles with such a youthful exuberance. He's one of the runts of the roster, so he's always getting tossed around and abused, be it by the Tursases and Crossbones of the world, or even by folks who wouldn't be able to intimidate anyone else BUT Frightmare on the roster with their size like the Ladies of the Bruderschaft. But he always sells to make his opponents look good, very reminiscent of Evan Bourne in that way, and he's always going at full speed when the match dictates a fast pace. When he hits a big move, he's celebrating with the crowd so much that Wicked has to rein him in sometimes. Keeping in mind that Frightmare's still somewhat of a rookie, it fits perfectly in his character.

Anyway, this was a pretty entertaining spotfest through the first two eliminations - the first being Rick Swann getting taken out by Frightmare's moonsault knee press and the second Cheech falling victim to an Ophidian rolling clutch pin. However, when it came down to Frightmare and Ophidian, that's where the action started to pick up BIG TIME. Both guys kept digging deep and hitting each other with everything they had. Up to this point, Frightmare had been just a punching bag in the fed, a guy who'd be there to absorb losses for Incoherence and learn. This was his coming out party, as he hung with Ophidian and dealt him everything he dished out back and then some. I can't praise the end portion of this match enough. Sadly though, it did have to end, and it culminated with Ophidian countering a top rope set up from Frightmare into an avalanche Egyptian (Canadian) Destroyer. Normally, I hate the Canadian Destroyer, but it actually does look credible when done off the top. Well done end to a well done match.

Time for the MAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNN EVENNNNNNT~! The Colony battled the BDK B-Team. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't like to throw around heavy praise this early in the year, but I think Night 2's main event is my leader in the clubhouse for Match of the Year thus far. It started with a flourish, as the Colony faked out the BDK guys with feint planchas, luring them into the ring for a jolly good stomping. The advantage was short-lived, as the BDK regained the advantage shortly thereafter, keeping Soldier Ant isolated for most of the match. All three were in full cocky heel mode and keeping the tags quick for maximum beatdownage. At one point, Donst was doing sit-ups while he had Soldier Ant in a leg lock. Pinkie was Pinkie and Lince turned the smarm up to 11. It was great.

The Ants finally rallied and we could all tell there was a finish coming with the way bedlam was erupting with the planchas and the top rope moves and the tornillos and the GLAY-VIN... sorry, Professor Frink moment. With each successive near fall, you could hear the crowd gasping, either for a monumental sigh for a BDK win or an epic cheer if the Colony won. At one point, it looked as if Donst had Soldier Ant right where he wanted him, and Pinkie was about to finish Fire Ant with a Burning Snicklefritz on the apron. Fire Ant shrugged him off and BAH GAWD BAH GAWD BAH GAWD damn near killed Pinkie with a Beach Break on said apron. Then, in the ring, Soldier Ant made some slick moves and locked in the Chikara Special on Donst. With Pinkie killified on the outside of the ring and Green Ant keeping Lince from getting in to break it up, Donst only had one option...

*taptaptaptaptaptaptaptap*

Bryce called for the bell, but you couldn't hear it over the EXPLOSIVE ROAR of the crowd. Once Donst starting pounding the mat, all the tension in the Arena crested into a tsunami of joy. The BDK lost! The BDK lost! Finally, a clean pinfall or submission loss, and it was the Colony to do it in the last match on what turned out to be another stellar card. The crowd chanted "You tapped out" to Donst as he, Lince and Pinkie slinked to the back. Jakob Hammermeir was beside himself, while Gavin Loudspeaker hugged everyone at ringside he possibly could. To say that this was one of two of the most satisfying main events I've ever been witness to would be an understatement (the other one was obviously Austin going KICKWHAMSTUNNER on Michaels at WrestleMania XIV).

The awesome, awesome main event topped off what was an epic second half of the card. That second half saved the somewhat lacking first half, delivering four solid-to-monstrously awesome matches in succession. And to think, there was still one more show to go before it was all said and done.

Night 3Ah, Night 3. The strain of Night 2's festivities wore out Gavin Loudspeaker's voice so that he talked with a slight frog in his throat. The final night's festivities opened with The Colony taking on Osaka Pro. Before the match, a fan sitting in front of me handed a bag of Domino's sugar to Soldier Ant, who handed it off to Green Ant, who looked at it like "Jackpot". They brought the bag into the ring which took the Osaka team aback a bit. Bryce took the bag and held it up as if it were at stake in the match. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I love Chikara Pro Wrestling.

Onto the match, you know the Law of Diminishing Returns, right? Yeah, Team Osaka Pro is the exact opposite of that; their performances got better with every night of the tournament. After two matches of playing the faces, they adapted super-well into heeling things up. Tadasuke spent a good portion of the beginning of the match messing with the antennae on Fire Ant's mask, which Fire Ant sold, naturally. Again, do I need to say it? It wasn't long before they turned the match into a track meet/air show, and with Kotoge running around like a jackrabbit on crack and the propensity of all three Ants to take to the air, it's not a shock. There were a couple of really cool spots out of the Ant Hill set up. One was Fire Ant getting the heave-ho from his partners into a senton atomico (think Swanton) out of the ring onto all three of the Osaka Pro guys. For the finish, they topped even that, as they launched Green Ant from the Ant Hill... while standing on the top rope. Yep, Soldier Ant and Fire Ant were on the top rope and Green Ant splashed Tadasuke from their hands. CRAZY AMAZING. Colony wins and the Osaka Pro guys, the good sports they are, awarded them the bag of sugar after the match.

Next match was the other semifinal, Big Japan vs. the Bruderschaft A-Team. Finally, the BDK didn't face a team that was functionally handicapped in some way and finally, Big Japan faced a team that actually had comparable size. It was the inverse in terms of pacing and tenor of the semifinal that preceded it. But for everything in terms of flying, quickness and lucha libre spirit that OPW/Colony had, BJW/BDK matched in terms of stiffness, power and puroresu ethic. There was a nice spot where Hoshino went all sumo and tried to knock Tursas down, and Okobayashi therw a nice deadlift suplex on Ares, but the big drama of the match was the question of whether Sekimoto could give Tursas a German suplex? I have to wonder if the building's foundations, already shaken and weakened by the crowd reacting to the previous night's main event finish, would have disintegrated from the reaction to such a suplex. Thankfully for the Arena and disappointingly for the we the fans, the suplex was only teased. Ares foiled the attempt and shortly thereafter, nailed Hoshino with a Tiger Driver for the pin, setting up a second straight Colony main event against some form of the Bruderschaft.

Next up was an unannounced match between Chuck Taylor and El Orientale. While Orientale was probably the most "serious" of the Perros del Mal team, he still brought some humor to the match, mainly in the beginning with his UNO-chop-DOS-chop-TRES-surprise eye poke sequence. Things did end up getting serious, and both guys broke out some pretty sweet submissions. Taylor would get the last tap though, defeating Orientale via a single leg torture crab.

Match numbaaaah 4 was the annual tag gauntlet. Starting off were the Throwbacks tacking on the UnStable duo of Vin Gerard and STIGMA. Fun opening tilt which saw stereo corner punches by the Throwbacks on the UnStable. The only problem was that while Dasher got all the way to 10, Sugar only made it to 3 on Gerard before he countered with a backslide to win.

The next team out from the back was worth the entire price of admission for Night 3 by itself. Yes, we were treated to the team of Steve "The Turtle" Weiner and DRAGON DRAGON~!



If you're a fan of Chikara, you already are marking out just seeing the picture or remembering back to the match. If not, well... yes, someone actually wrestles in that get up. It's as awesome as it sounds. Blogfan Sean McLaughlin, who came to Night 3 with me, and I spent the entire time marking out, from the time when Dragon Dragon came out until the time he tapped out to a Vin Gerard STF. All good things must come to an end, but the memories of Dragon Dragon will stay with me forever, or at least until I become senile in my old age.

Team 4 was The Future Is Now, consisting of Helios and Equinox. They eliminated the UnStable in somewhat short order as Equinox spiked Gerard with a Memphis piledriver and pin. After the UnStable was dispatched, Aeroform came out. I was a bit disappointed here as they didn't really do much, although I learned later that Kendrick had been working hurt. Equinox landed a KTFO punch on Kendrick and thusly, Aeroform was gone.

Next team out was the North Star Express, and again, the mark out pants went on. First, there was Corbin running the ropes until he tired himself out, which lead directly into a slow-motion sequence which saw even the crowd chanting "This... is... awesome" in super slo-mo. Once action sped back up, Cruz got a nice pin combo on Helios.

Team numbaaaaaah 7 was the Order of the Neo-Solar Temple, who despite their rudo status, got a nice pop. It just goes to prove that rudos are cool and that UltraMantis Black is incapable of being booed in Philly anymore. At least I'd like to think so. Then again, I think he might have used the Eye of Tyr on me before the BDK swindled him out of it. Oh well. It was a nice, brisk jaunt which saw Mantis and Crossbones shout "RUDOS!" to a boisterous cheer from the crowd before Mantis spiked Corbin with the Praying Mantis Bomb.

Next out was Incoherence who actually took out the Order in very short order with a Hallowicked enzugiri on Crossbones and pinfall. That led into Team FIST coming out. They did the whole punching-bag thing on Frightmare for awhile, but then Incoherence started making a comeback, and Frightmare actually got the fall spiking Icarus with a crucifix driver.

That led up to the climactic final team coming out, the Ladies of the Bruderschaft, Sara del Rey and Daizee Haze. The women again took to picking on poor little Frightmare, and all looked lost when they hit their Sara piledriver into a Daizee German suplex on the frenetic ball of kinetic energy. Thankfully, Wicked came in last second and broke the pin up. The match ended with Incoherence getting the upper hand and Wicked finishing off Daizee with a Rydeen bomb (think D'Lo's Sky High). For the second time in two events, the BDK suffered a pinfall/submission defeat. The chinks in the armor started to show, and in the process, Incoherence earned themselves three points and a shot at the Campeonatos de Parejas.

Intermission was next, and right at the end, well, just take a look for yourself:



Yep, a story-based Chikara video game where the focus is UltraMantis Black reanimating former Chikara characters in the fight against the BDK. Want.

Man, did that promo give Christopher Daniels and Eddie Kingston a tough act to follow eh? Good thing both are top-flight wrestlers who answered the bell admirably. Kingston spent most of the beginning of the match flustering Daniels with strikes and brawling techinique. Daniels turned the match around and made it competitive, adding in some of his heel antics on top of it. Kingston had him on the ropes, but Daniels tried again the finish he did the night previous by pulling Bryce into his grasps to block a Backfist to the Future attempt. Before he could get off the BME, Kingston yanked him off the ropes and nailed him with the Backfist for the win. Oh, but that's not where things ended. Yep, someone came out from the back to talk to Kingston and that someone?

TOMMY. DREAMER.

Dreamer had a mic and started putting over the fans, the Arena and then the fed and the action itself, saying in reference to DRAGON DRAGON that he "loved that shit", to which Kingston chided him that he couldn't say that. Think about it. When Eddie Kingston is correcting you on your language, something's up. Think about it more. Tommy Dreamer marked for Dragon Dragon. Do you NEED any more validation? I think not. Anyway, Dreamer offered to do for Kingston what Terry Funk did for him all those years ago, and they announced a match for the May 23rd show in Union City, NJ. Now, some people crapped on this because "OH TEH NOES TOMMY DREAMER IZ SO OLD LOL". You know what I say to that? Fuck you. You know why? Tommy Dreamer isn't being brought in to dominate. He's being brought in to help put over the guy who's his natural heir in the business, and you know what? For a guy like me who grew up on ECW, for a guy who marked for Tommy Dreamer and knows all he meant to the business, it was fucking cool. And most of the people, if not all of them in attendance, agreed with me.

The next match of the evening saw the Young Bucks taking on Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw in my favorite match of the night. This was exactly the kind of match you'd expect from the four guys in the ring, only amped up to 11. The Jackson Boys, Jig and Quack all brought their A-games. The Bucks were really on point with their tag team offense, hitting a bevy of double-team moves on both guys, although Quack had a really sweet counter off a sunset flip powerbomb to the outside with a double stomp to Matt's chest. Both teams teased finisher at various points of the match, but the fall went to QuackSaw after Jig countered the rolling forward slam portion of More Bang For Your Buck, causing Nick to miss the 450 splash part. It allowed Quack to scoop Nick up for a Jig 'n Tonic spiked with a flying double stomp from the top by Jigsaw. After the match, both Quack and Jig tried to show sportsmanship, but the Bucks heeled it up and high-tailed it out of there.

Next up was the Rey de Voladores final, and it was... disappointing. Cross and Ophidian really didn't mesh together, and furthermore, Cross, who actually looked serviceable Night 2 and got some chants, was clearly not over. I don't want to take a dump on this match because both guys tried and it was Ophidian's big breakout singles moment, but I was disappointed with the match.

Finally, we got to the.... MAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNN EEVVEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNT~! for the entire card. Bruderschaft des Kreuzes. Colony. King of Trios Championship. The Colony came out like gangbusters, showing the BDK team no quarter whatsoever. They came out with such fire and intensity that Tursas actually sold for Green Ant. It was unreal just how the Colony was taking it to a BDK squad that really wasn't challenged much until this point. I mean, even the BJW match never seemed in question. They hit an early triple team version of Ants Go Marching on Claudio and looked to put them away with the same Super Ant Hill Splash they used to put Osaka Pro away, but Tursas foiled it at the last second.

Then, in one of the most amazing sequences I have ever seen, Tursas ran the ropes at Fire Ant only for Fire Ant to low bridge the top rope and send Tursas toppling over the top with his momentum sending him hurtling into the guardrail and flipping over it. Yes, that's right, the only guy to go involuntarily over the guardrail all weekend (Icarus went over too, but he was running away from Matt Classic) was the largest competitor in the fed. To follow it up, what did Fire Ant do? He climbed a friggin' support beam after Tursas had made it back to the floor and splashed both Tursas and Ares from about 15 feet up in the air. By this point, I had actually written on my notepad "Too much awesome to write things down anymore". It had gotten to the point where I just wanted to mark out, to invest as a fan in the match, so I did. What I do recall was the match going back and forth, just chaos everywhere. Green Ant and Claudio traded submissions at one point, the Green Ant cloverleaf into the inverted Chikara Special into the Chikara Special. The way Frightmare was made the previous night, Green Ant was made into a bona fide main event-level threat on Night 3. He really came into his own.

Between this match and the first 8-man tag at A Touch of Class, one thing really has stood out to me in some of the more heated BDK/Chikara matches. It actually feels like watching a war unfold before my eyes. Not a wrestling match, but a war, like these guys really do hate each other. The chaos, the madness, it's all perfect.

Anyway, back to the match, after all that, things got really interesting. Bryce got accidentally bumped by an errant move, I forget exactly what, and to follow it up, Tursas sized the fallen senior referee up and hit him with a running splash. Bryce got squished. I was sad. To follow it up, Tursas got walloped and the Colony nailed an Ant Hill Splash on Ares. Out comes replacement referee and 2-year Chikara exile Derek Sabato who comes out just in time to call Ares kicking out at two. There was a big problem with that.

Ares never kicked out. Sabato's dirty. Sabato's dirty. Sabato is El Hijo del Nick Patrick. Holy shit.

The Colony was in disbelief. The crowd was in disbelief. The Claudio and Tursas moseyed over to the two arguing ants and low-blowed them to NO disciplinary action. Fire Ant was held up by Claudio and Tursas. Ares came running in. Ragnarok. Insanely and unnecessarily fast count from Sabato.

Your 2010 King of Trios, the Bruderschaft des Kreuzes. The fans were in riot mode almost, screaming at Jakob Hammermeir, the wrestlers, at the situation. Some were calling for Chikara Commissioner Dave Coulier to intervene. It was madness. But it was a fitting cap for the whole event. It was the perfect end to a chapter of a story that wasn't ready to be finished yet.

While some amongst the smarky unrest hated this finish, I loved it. It put the hammer down and re-established the BDK as a dominant faction by a new means when the old means, chicanery through Dieter and dominance in the ring, wasn't working. The cracks started to show in the foundation, and the patch wasn't going to be jobbing KoT clean. It wasn't going to be doing some weaksauce cheating to win and look like weasels. It wasn't going to be winning clean either, not after the momentum that Chikara and the Colony in specific had garnered. It was going to be through throwing down yet another monolithic obstacle... the crooked referee. If you're hopping off the bandwagon, that's fine, but I'm more intrigued than ever.

All that being said, I have never spent $63 better on anything wrestling related than what I did on those tickets. Chikara time and again proves that they are the market leaders when it comes to quality. They don't sell the most like the WWE, but their product is the best. I strongly, strongly, VERY strongly recommend that you buy the DVDs when they come out and experience the awesome for yourselves. These words can only do so much justice.

Photo Credits: Zia Hiltey - Please visit her Flickr site to view her excellent photography from Chikara to everything else.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Instant Feedback: Will the Last One to Leave Smackdown Please Turn Off the Lights

I take one of three things from the Draft RAW tonight. One, they caught wind of the Internet speculation that Randy Orton and Sheamus were going to Smackdown and pulled a Vince Russo to try and swerve the 'Net. Two, they really don't have any faith that Smackdown's numbers will improve on SyFy and are just preparing to go through the motions while having their big guns roll on Mondays. Three, they're trying to get the most mileage out of their remaining network TV time and trying to build main eventers on Smackdown before pulling a trade to get Orton, etc. over there when the SyFy move comes.

Normally, this is where I would go into some profanity laced tirade about how the WWE doesn't know what they're doing, but since I'm on such a high after King of Trios weekend (recap coming tomorrow, I swear.... SUPER busy today), I'm gonna give the WWE a pass here and actually just sit back and see where they're going. I mean, a show whose biggest names are Christian, Jack SWAGGAH~!, Kofi Kingston and CM Punk is like crack for a fan like me who enjoys those guys more by and large over the Cenas, Batistas and Triple Hs of the world (Which isn't to say I don't enjoy them... it's just I enjoy Punk and Christian more). So hey, who knows at this point. I sure know that I don't.

As for the show itself, well, RAW was kinda just there. It started off really strong with a pretty decent Unified Tag Team Championship match where a real-live, honest-to-God tag team in the Hart Dynasty won the belts. As much as I like ShoMiz (and boy, did they telegraph Show moving to Smackdown with that breakup), I'm glad to see that a real tag team has the straps now and that maybe, just maybe, they'll move back to having an honest-to-God tag division. Then after that, it kinda just flatlined. I mean, it wasn't terrible, but it was boring. Usually, they bring their A-games for the three hour shows, and last year's draft show seemed so much better both right after it happened and in retrospect. There wasn't a Cena/Swagger to anchor the card. I think this is where not having ECW hurt the most, because now, it's just pingponging guys back and forth between two shows, and the matches become either predictable or frustrating.

Oh well. But hey, if this means we get a World Championship program between CM Punk and Christian before long, sign me up. Tonight's show may not have been all that exciting, and the future for Smackdown may not be good for business, but really, I'm just along for the ride at this point.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

TWB Draft Spectacular Analysis: Through My Eyes

This is the first in what I hope will be a series of content coming from our Draft Spectacular on Wednesday. Naturally, it's my thoughts on the whole proceedings and some insight into what I did with my picks as well as some thoughts on other picks. Let's get started with Round 1:

Round 1
1. KoppoKick - John Cena

Not surprising, although I thought he'd go for either Punk or Jericho here. Cena's the closest thing to a guaranteed bank today. Plus, he's a great wrestler and would fit in with "smark workrate" feds as well.

After the jump...2. PizzaBodySlam - Chris Jericho

THE BASTARD! That was my thought. Well, it wasn't, but it was. I wanted to get my favorite wrestler, naturally. However, it didn't end my world.

3. Me - CM Punk

Punk was in my top 3 of guys I wanted to take. The other two were Cena and Jericho, so Koppo and Pizza made my first pick easy for me. I wanted Punk because he's perhaps the best heat-generating heel in the game right now, and he'll continue on that path for the next 10 years at the very least. With Punk, my search for a top babyface won't be so hard because Punk can help make babyfaces just by opposing him.

4 and 5. Dylan (for Brandon) - Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton

They were two prospects for my next pick. The ReyRey pick got raked over the coals a bit, but I like it because he already draws in the kiddie crowd. I think with proper booking, even with injury concerns, he can draw in a wider audience. Orton is a no-brainer.

6. Me - BIG DAVE BATISTA~!

First two picks for me were heels, but they're two of the best heels in the business. I know this could be a risky pick in that he's been vocal about the time he has left in the business. However, the chance at having two furnace-hot heels to help churn out face draws, as well as the fact that Batista has made bank as a face before, was too much for me to pass up.

7. PizzaBodySlam - Bryan Danielson

The first real shocking pick of the draft comes in the next-to-last selection. I have to admit, I was looking at taking Danielson fairly early, but not this early. This is clearly a match quality pick, as that's where AmDrag shines brightest. He drew for ROH, but indie crowds and national crowds are very different. Very intriguing pick that would have gotten the Mel Kiper's of the wrestling draft world up in arms. However, with Jericho as the first pick, I think Danielson would ease into a top face role and shine brightly with Jericho to play off of.

8. KoppoKick - A.J. Styles

Very good value pick for workrate and heel charisma. A great foil for John Cena, because he'll bump for him and he has the antithetical rich jetsetting playboy character to foil Cena's blue-collar, never-say-die character.

Round 2

1. KoppoKick - Rob Van Dam

A very surprising pick to me with guys such as Undertaker, Jeff Hardy and Kurt Angle on the board, but with RVD's recent title win, it does make sense. RVD has a certain freshness about him being out of the picture for so long, and that break seems to have recharged his batteries. Koppo's got himself a really strong top-end roster to start.

2. PizzaBodySlam - (His UncleTaker) The Undertaker

The Dead Man goes off the board with the 10th pick overall, and given his career resume, he deserves such praise. He's a guaranteed bank and even broken down, he can put on some really good matches. That broken down-ness might hamper his ability to go longterm, but in the short term, his drawing power is going to help PBS' fed.

3. Me - Jeff Hardy

Koppo rightly asked me whether I was still feeling Jeff Hardy Fatigue or not given this pick, and honestly, yes, I do feel it even now that he's in TNA. Still, you can't deny that he was the best babyface the WWE had from SummerSlam '08 to SummerSlam '09 and that he's still super over with the juvenile market. Of course, I'd pee test him every single day and make him ditch the whole facepaint look under threat of shoot donkey punching from Batista, but you could do worse with Hardy as a top face. That's my thinking.

4 and 5. Dylan (for Brandon) - ShoMiz

Very solid pickup and two great heel foils for Orton and Mysterio (or Orton and Van Dam as a trade later on would send Mysterio to Koppo for RVD). Miz is going to be the next big star, and now Brandon, thanks to Dylan, is going to be able to ride that wave. Show is underrated thanks to horrible booking for the last decade-plus, but he can be rebuilt. They have the technology.

6. Me - Samoa Joe

D'oh! I made this pick forgetting that Kurt Angle was still on the board, but after looking at the draft on the whole, I have no regrets, seeing as this sets up any number of money smark matches, INCLUDING Punk vs. Joe 2K10. Joe vs. Batista is also a money match waiting to happen. My plan would be to return Joe to his former indie asskicker glory, and thusly he'll be a Stone Cold for a different audience.

7. PizzaBodySlam - Kurt Angle

It's true, it's damn true, Angle is the best guy left on my board and a solid pickup for PBS. He can play both sides of the alignment coin, plus there's a dream match with Danielson waiting to happen.

8. KoppoKick - Christian

Christian is a favorite pick of mine here in that I wish I could have nabbed him, but it's also surprising given that Edge is still on the board. Maybe Koppo sees something that Vince and Co. don't? I know I do. I thought Christian was the eminently more talented member of that duo and he'll get a chance to prove his worth here.

Round 3

1. KoppoKick - Evan Bourne

Whoa! Here's another pick people might call a reach. I won't because I like Bourne a lot and think he's got a lot of potential as a top guy. However, I can see the arguments against drafting someone who's never won more than a developmental territory World Championship or a high-indie Tag Championship over, say, Triple H. Me though? I love the pick and if I were Koppo, I'd be pushing this kid to the moon and beyond.

2. PizzaBodySlam - Chris Hero

It's a run on future stars! Hero's a bona fide future main eventer to me, and he's a solid pick. Again, some might question him going this early, but hey, that's what makes a draft so intriguing.

3. Me - Mike Quackenbush

I fully admit that this pick was a reach, but I don't care. Quack is one of my favorite indie wrestlers who books and trains guys for my favorite fed in the world right now, so you're damn right I want him on my roster and I want to make sure he's locked up. He'll come aboard as sort of a "player-manager" type, a guy who'll act as an agent when he's not on the screen, a booking aide behind the scenes and a go-to guy in the ring.

4 and 5. Brandon - Goldberg and Edge

Here's where Brandon took over drafting for himself and began to irritate Dylan (whom Brandon said would be his consultant, lol) and provide lulz for the rest of the draft. Edge isn't a bad pick at all, but Goldberg, who's right now just negotiating with the WWE, is a stretch. Still, if he can get Goldberg to sign and perform and behave backstage, it's a coup.

6. Me - Jack SWAGGAH~!

I figured I'd have to get on the WWE futures train soon before I lost out. Batista, Quack and Hardy are all risks to lose time for whatever reason, so why not go with the WWE World Champion? Of course, I'd book him a lot better than they are now.

7. PizzaBodySlam - Triple H

It's not surprising that Triple H went this late seeing that all five guys who made picks here have no great love for the great constructor of the WWE's glass ceiling. There's objective reason for him to drop as well, given that he has two bad quads and is nearing the wrong side of 40. However, getting him with the 23rd pick of the draft is great value for a guy who's maybe the most recognizeable active wrestler in the world.

8. KoppoKick - Sheamus

I was looking at grabbing Sheamus as well, and looking back, I probably should have nabbed him where I got Quack, but hey, that's life. Great pick for Koppo, who had a hell of a draft up to this point and beyond.

Rather than write a huge tl;dr post profiling every draft pick, I'm just going to give you the reasoning behind my picks and let you know why I put together the roster that I put together.

Round 4, Pick 3 - Austin Aries

I couldn't get my favorite wrestler (Jericho), so I had to snap up my second favorite wrestler here. Aries has WrestleMania main event-level heat drawing abilities in addition to being one of the finest wrestlers on the indie circuit. No doubt he's my ace in the hole as a secondary top heel should Batista decide to retire on me.

Round 4, Pick 6 - MVP

I don't care what the haters say, I think MVP has at least one good main event run in him before it's all said and done. He's more effective as a heel, but he can get cheers as a face. Either way, I love his charisma and his swagger.

Round 5, Pick 3 - Beth Phoenix and Awesome Kong

This was my tag team pick. This is a geek wrestling fantasy of mine that has been welling in my head for a few months now, ever since Kong got released from TNA. I'd be willing to let the two run wild in my tag team division, wrestle against the men and try to tap into the female demographic without going all Grey's Anatomy, which would be dreadful, btw.

Round 5 Pick 6 - Kofi Kingston

Kofi showed me a lot during his feud with Randy Orton. Admittedly, I think he's still too raw for the exposure he's getting, but I think the talent is there and that he can grow into a great main event face for me. I also figure that with Quack on the roster as that "player-manager" type, Kofi's one of the guys who'll most benefit from that arrangement.

Round 6, Pick 3 - Mark Henry

I love the theme song.

All joking aside, Henry is a steady hand when he's motivated and I plan on pushing him pretty hard when he signs. Great big man wrestler who can go as a face or a heel and who has really carved his niche out among wrestling fans who don't discriminate on big men just because they're big.

Round 6, Pick 6 - Necro Butcher

I think this is the steal of the draft right here. I couldn't believe he fell this far, but then again, he's just known for death matches and ultraviolence. Yet, when I saw him at King of Trios last year and at various ROH bookings throughout the past year, I saw a guy who could command a crowd like no one else and who brawled with the best of them. No way I'm passing up a chance to have Necro come in, compete for the affections of the fans as a possible top face and have knockout programs with CM Punk and Batista.

Round 7, Pick 3 - Zack Ryder

WWWYKI. At the very worst, Ryder will be a solid midcard act a la Curt Hennig for me for the next decade. If you don't think you need midcard acts? Well, look at how instrumental guys like Arn Anderson, Hennig, Rick Rude and the the Big Boss Man were at feuding with guys who would go onto the main event.

Round 7, Pick 6 - Goldust

Goldie's veteran presence fits one of the common themes of my draft, and that is getting a cadre of ring-savvy veterans who can not only have great matches with anyone they're working with, but who can help teach the greener rooks and make them into the well-rounded stars they can be. When Dustin is in shape, there are a scant few who are better than him in the ring, and the Goldust character is one of my all-time favorites.

Round 8, Pick 3 - Wade Barrett

Barrett fits the other common theme, picking up the young, fresh stars of tomorrow and building them strongly for the long haul. Outside of Danielson, there's no one on NXT that has the tools that Barrett has to succeed at the next level, and to be honest, I think Barrett's a better long-term pro prospect than Danielson is. I know, I have to turn in my indie-cred card, but still, the truth's the truth.

Round 8, Pick 6 - El Generico

Generico's another personal favorite of mine, and a guy I think can carry both young and old audiences with his raucous, high-energy style and expressive demeanor. Even if he doesn't speak a lick of English in character, he has magnetism, something that's very important for any wrestler.

Round 9, Pick 3 - Finlay

Another savvy veteran pick, Finlay is maybe the best brawler in the world and he's 53. Imagine the slugfests with Necro Butcher. The thing is, I'm not sure if Finlay's even slowing down, as he's one of those old codgers who probably won't show signs of creaking out until the moment he dies.

Round 9, Pick 6 - Delirious

He's another guy who doesn't speak English in character but has so much animal magnetism that he can get crowds behind him just by shouting and frenetically pacing about the ring.

Round 10, Pick 3 - Skip Sheffield

YYYWID. Sheffield is another one of the NXT rooks I really like, and shoot, I think I'd like having him around to develop into a dopey face brawler.

Round 10, Pick 6 - Christopher Daniels

I wondered when I picked him how the hell he lasted this long. Great value pick.

Round 11, Pick 3 - Kevin Steen and Steve Corino

My second tag team pick, this one was sort of a no-brainer already having Generico on the roster. It fits into both my themes, Steen as the future star, Corino as the ring-savvy vet. Plus, Corino/Necro... would that set the record for most blood lost in a wrestling match or what?

Round 11, Pick 6 - UltraMantis Black

I almost picked Colt Cabana here, but I let my Chikara mark-dom get the better of me and picked Mantis, who's a great talker, a decent worker and if all else fails, a color commentator who can get my product over in the future.

Just to recap:
Bryce Remsburg Wrestling

CM Punk
Batista
Jeff Hardy
Samoa Joe
Mike Quackenbush
Jack SWAGGAH~!
Austin Aries
MVP
Beth Phoenix
Awesome Kong
Kofi Kingston
Mark Henry
Necro Butcher
Zack Ryder
Goldust
Wade Barrett
El Generico
Finlay
Delirious
Skip Sheffield
Christopher Daniels
Kevin Steen
Steve Corino
UltraMantis Black

I think that's a good haul, don't you?

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Weekend Wrap-Up: Extreme Kings of Draft

- Chikara King of Trios was... AWESOME. I'm going to give a full recap later, but with that string of three shows, Chikara has surpassed the original ECW as my favorite all-time fed. Amazing.

- Speaking of KoT, the Fan Conclave was Saturday, and while I wasn't able to go, I heard it was a hootenanny. Blog-friend Ziasaurus Hiltey was charged with taking the family-style photographs for the show and of course she did a good job. Also notable was Chikaraoke, which random Chikara wrestlers came up to sing songs with fans. Apparently, Crossbones killed it, and who am I to judge? For all we know, that could be Ruben Studdard underneath that mask. Also, Louden Noxious Gavin Loudspeaker had a concert, which between that and his Night 2 celebratory yelling blew his voice out for Night 3. I think I'm gonna have to make it a point to go to the Conclave next year. That is, if they have a King of Trios.

- WWE Extreme Rules took place last night. I'm seeing mixed reviews for the show, but I heard some good things about the main event between John Cena and Batista. Cena obviously retained, although Batista will appear and most likely wrestle on tonight's Draft RAW. He's still on his way out unless something drastic changes. Jack SWAGGAH~! retained his title as well. The only new Champion was Beth Phoenix taking the Women's Championship off the skeletal Michelle McCool. Also notable was Joey Mercury/Matthews' return to the WWE as an apparent fourth SES disciple. He ran in and cost Rey Mysterio his match against CM Punk.

- Speaking of the Draft, it's tonight. I'm just going to sit back and watch it (maybe tonight, maybe later on), but if you want a preview, Camel Clutch Blog Senior Editor Eric Gargiulo has a nice read on the subject. Speaking of drafts, expect the first bit of TWB Draft Spectacular analysis to be up today (knock on wood).

- Jeff Hardy announced to the world Saturday that he didn't quite care for RAW on Monday. Yeah, neither did I and judging from the overwhelming majority of people who viewed both shows. Still, coming from Jeff Hardy, as a contracted TNA talent, it comes off as hacky and partisan. Okay, not any different from the toxic spew that Eric Bischoff spouts every other half minute. The funny part of this to me is that Hardy is hanging by a thread in TNA as it is. The company that eagerly signed up Kurt Angle after he got fired from the WWE for being deemed too dangerous for their 3 strikes policy is thinking about cutting ties with Jeff Hardy for being a mess. Granted, Angle has cleaned his act up, but the point is that Hardy isn't and he should probably worry more about keeping his act together instead of mouthing off about the competition. Shannon Moore had harsh words for the WWE as well re: the mass future endeavorings, but the dude's a toolbag anyway.

- ROH ran shows in both Dayton and Chicago on Friday and Saturday, respectively. I haven't seen much in the way of reviews for the Dayton show, but I heard RAVE reviews for the Chicago main event of the come-as-you-are street fight of Kevin Steen and Steve Corino vs. Colt Cabana and El Generico. I may have to seek that DVD out when they release it. I have heard it's a little on the CZW-bloody side, but hey, a little violence never hurt anyone, has it? Wait, don't answer that.

Photo Credit: Zia Hiltey - Please visit her Flickr site to view her excellent photography from Chikara to everything else.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Batista's Last Match Is... Tonight?

PWSpyware reporting, via the A1 Boards

Batista, who's been rumbling for awhile that he wants to leave wrestling to pursue a career in acting, may be wrestling his final WWE match tonight. He wants out, and I can't say I blame him. He's getting up there in years, and hell, if he has an in in Hollywood, then he should take it. Given his closeness with Ric Flair in their WWE tenure together and given how much of a joke Flair has become now, I'm sure that helped his decision along.

For us the fans, well, at least for me, this is a huge, huge bummer. Batista was never my favorite wrestler, but in the last six months, he's been one of hte most interesting guys, if not THE most interesting guy on the roster (CM Punk notwithstanding). This also creates a big void at the top of the card for the WWE. Batista is one of the few wrestlers on the roster who's a guaranteed bank as a face and who can draw heat effectively as a top heel. He'll be missed.

Maybe now, they'll stop booking Jack Swagger like dogshit and they'll maybe look at giving Mike Knox a... oh that's right, they fired Mike Knox. Man, sucks to be the WWE, doesn't it?

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Know Your Indie Wrestlers: The Order of the Neo-Solar Temple

Who?: UltraMantis Black and Crossbones
Promotions: Chikara
Alias: Mantis is also known as the Angry Insect Evildoer
Current Affiliations: They form the stable the Order of the Neo-Solar Temple, which includes a brainwashed Delirious (although he is currently MIA). Also, Mantis is part of the Chikara Commentation Station Guild (unofficial title given by me) along with Gavin Loudspeaker, Bryce Remsburg, Eddie Kingston, Leonard F. Chikarason and Mike Quackenbush.

Height: Mantis 6' Crossbones 5'11"
Weight: Mantis 206 lbs. Crossbones 240 lbs.
Hometown: Parts Unknown

After the jump... Wrestling Style: Mantis - Puroresu-influenced technical wizard. He likes to rely on head-drops as much as he does his minions doing his bidding.
Crossbones - Big man offense with some martial arts mixed in. He's a relative giant in a fed where Sara del Rey is as physically comparable to most of the male roster as she would be in an average women's fed.

Signature Maneuvers:

Praying Mantis Bomb:


Top 10 Moves of UltraMantis Black:


Top 10 Moves of Crossbones:


Titles Held:

None as of yet

Promos:

Responding to the BDK's actions


Preparing to face the Colony


Old-school Crossbones promo


Why You Should Know UltraMantis Black and Crossbones: Mantis is an essential Chikara personality. He's got his hand in many different pots, be it hosting the Podcast-a-Go-Go, being a part of several of the fed's essential feuds and matches or being the most warmly received member of the Commentation Station by fans of Chikara. Being a member of the fed from the very beginning, none of this should come as shocking.

Mantis represents a comically evil element that is essential to the fabric of the promotion, especially its family-friendliness. He's a classic villain that makes the product easy for kids to latch onto, while having a ring acumen that makes it easy for adult wrestling nerds like myself to latch onto. While he may be easily glossed over right now due to the BDK/Chikara war (that he helped start but is now ducking from) and the fact that the Order lost Delirious and couldn't compete in King of Trios, forgetting him when thinking about the cogs that make Chikara work would be a disservice and a downright travesty.

Crossbones serves as Mantis' loyal lackey, and while he doesn't seem to be much to consider, the guy's a loyal soldier and he's fun to watch in the ring.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!