Follow Friday: Hacksaw Jim Duggan (Fake but Hilarious) and Zoo with Roy

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

To counteract the raging wave of Anglophilia sweeping the nation today, I figure today's Follow Friday will be swathed in the awesome that is USA! USA! USA! USA! Yes, for those prescient enough to see where I'm going, it's time to follow Hacksaw Jim Duggan on Twitter.

No, it's not the real Hacksaw, but I tend to think if he were really on Twitter, it would be boring, much like George "The Animal" Steele is right now. This fake Hacksaw, whom you can find @HacksawJDuggan, is absurdly amazing. Seriously, every tweet this guy comes out with is 100% finely distilled hilarity in 140 characters or less. Samples:

Jimmy Snuka's original nickname was "Super High" HooOoOo! That dude did a ton of coke. USA! (listens to Free Bird solo, steps onto balcony)

Went to get a haircut. Had to wait for Marty Jannetty to get his mullet perfect. Then I waited for Brutus to clean all the broken glass.

I live my life like I'm constantly in a Rocky IV montage. HooOooOoo! USA! USA! (runs on beach, chops down tree, powerslams a punching bag)

Seriously, how is that not the most awesome account in the history of awesome accounts?

The second in this two-fer today has nothing to do with anything I described above. AT ALL. The man is the mysterious, possibly penguin-esque Zoo with Roy, author of the critically-acclaimed Phillies bolg, I Want to Go to the Zoo with Roy Halladay. You can find him on Twitter @zoowithroy. Why do I urge you to follow this fine, upstanding Philadelphia expat living in DC today? Two reasons. One is that I didn't really give you a topical baseball account to follow for Opening Day. So what if he's region-specific? He's hilarious! Secondly, he's getting his own beer to be brewed by Iron Hill. HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THAT? As a blogger, I really don't care if I ever get linked by a major site or make millions of dollars making cracks at Vince McMahon or whatever, but getting a beer named in my honor? FUCK YEAH, THAT'S THE PINNACLE OF WHY I'M IN THIS MEDIUM, BABY! Seriously though, beer or no beer, Phillies fan or hater, you gotta follow Zoo with Roy. He brings the lulz in a far different manner than faux-Duggan, but still in a way that can be appreciated by all.

Unless you don't like baseball. Then you're probably not American.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!