Highlights
- Tsubasa Kurigaki wrangled both Archibald Peck AND El Hijo del Ice Cream in a torture rack to get the victory for her squad in the opening six person tag.
- Gami cold-cocked Sawako Shimono with a hard plastic tube in the direct sight of the referee but wasn't disqualified.
- Tim Donst gave Green Ant a titty-twister.
- While Mayumi Ozaki held Cherry in the ropes, Mio Shirai spanked her in the most risque spot of the night.
- Shirai accidentally kicked Ozaki in the face, leading indirectly to Hamada winning with a variation on the AP Cross.
- Manami Toyota received the Diva Dirt Legacy Award before her match with Toshie Uematsu.
- Toyota stretched Uematsu longways with an impressive combo Mexican surfboard/chinlock.
- Chuck Taylor brandished the wrench they used to tighten the ring ropes before Bryce Rembsburg took it away from him.
- Taylor also threatened to kill everyone in the section where I was seated because they were mocking him. Most if not all those mocking him were small children.
- Team FIST retained the Campeonatos de Parejas two falls to one over The Colony.
- Aja Kong came out to Judas Priest's "The Hellion/Electric Eye".
- Sara del Rey landed a snazzy looking koppo kick to Kong from the apron.
- del Rey took a nasty shot to the head from Kong's metal trashcan while Bryce was knocked out.
- Kong promised that she would return to Philadelphia.
Observations
- Kaori Yoneyama is barely taller than the ring ropes, and this was a huge part in why the opener was so fun.
- Los Ice Creams may not be the best tag team, but they try the hardest to be goofy bad guys. I like it.
- Archibald Peck is tied for the best facial expressions in all wrestling with RD Evans. Although, has anyone ever seen those guys in the same place at the same time?
- Seriously, Kurigaki's double torture rack was the most impressive two-for-one move I've ever seen mainly because she's so compact like a bowling ball, and both Hijo and Peck are just lanky as all get out. Incredible balance needed.
- There was a lot of grumpy older woman wailing on precocious young lass action going on all night. Is this a huge theme in joshi?
- I'd totally put Gami's lariat against most men's. I thought poor Shimono was going to part ways with her head.
- A lot of matches, starting with Gami/Shimono, saw the joshis come down to the ring as seconds and thirds for the women who were in their respective promotions. I thought that was neat.
- Donst and Greenie worked a really nice World of Sport beginning to their match. Although I thought it was far from both guys' best match, I liked the mat wrestling dynamic because usually, that sort of thing happens between two tecnicos, not a tecnico and a rudo. Gave it a much different feel.
- I think I'm in love with an older woman, and her name is Mayumi Ozaki.
- No, seriously, she cheats her rear end off and makes the best facial expressions doing it. SHE IS AWESOME.
- Despite having very few double team tag moves, the Cherry/Hamada vs. Ozaki/Shirai match had a lot of really good tag psychology.
- To the untrained eye, Cherry may have been the least impressive competitor in the match, but looking through the context of her gimmick being that she's forever 18, she clearly was the most impressive in my eyes.
- Shirai and Ozaki took a double arm drag later on in the match, and they bumped in almost the exact same fashion. Again, great tag psych.
- I met Gregory Iron during intermission. Way cool guy, and I'm really rooting for him to make it to the Royal Rumble.
- Toshie Uematsu was a perfect foil for Toyota in this match. Great facial expressions and mannerisms, and probably the best selling of the night.
- I'm officially a mark for the Toyota Roll after seeing it again tonight.
- The first fall of the Campeonatos de Parejas match was just a clinic in cheating by Taylor, everything up to and including the Gargano-and-ropes assisted pinfall.
- "I WILL KILL YOU, LITTLE GIRL" - Taylor to a girl in the third row who kept calling him a loser.
- At one point during the second fall, Johnny Gargano was dance-raping Bryce as a form distraction. It was great, but Gargano had to be great because his partner is the King of Cheap Antics.
- My favorite move in the indies right now is probably Gargano's slingshot spear.
- No, seriously, as a fan of old school New Wave of British Heavy Metal, I marked my butt off for Aja Kong's theme song.
- They seem to have been defying conventional logic with Sara del Rey all year. Case in point, one might think that Kong would be the one doing the rudo Pearl Harbor, but it was del Rey attacking from the back after Kong wiped her butt rather than shake del Rey's hand. Really smart open.
- In the same vein, del Rey shouting at Kong "Too good to shake my hand, Aja?" was the best taunt all night.
- Aja Kong is Sara del Rey's idol, right? One would think that that would tip her off not to headbutt Kong. Ever. The Japanese Monster reinforced that point by bashing her head against the turnbuckle several times after the attempt.
- For a moment, when del Rey was hitting Kong to a whole wall of no-sell, I was almost reminded of Rocky Balboa vs. Ivan Drago. Almost.
- If anyone in the greater Philadelphia area felt a minor earthquake this evening, it was probably a direct result of del Rey nailing Kong with a MASSIVE German suplex.
- I know this is all staged, but even so, if I were Bryce Remsburg, I totally would have had to have changed my shorts after the match when Kong was in his face, livid over the loss.
- After the event, I met del Rey and had a total schoolboy reaction. I mean, I could barely talk, let alone get up the nerve to ask for a picture. Before anyone makes any smart-assed remarks about it being remotely sexual, I'd have been the same way if it were Bryan Danielson.
Match of the Night - Mio Shirai and Mayumi Ozaki vs. Cherry and Ayako Hamada - I almost wanted to vote for del Rey/Kong here, and believe me, it was a close choice, one that I couldn't take lightly. That being said, the main event, though totally awesome, not disappointing, left me wanting a little more. The tag match was closer to attaining perfection for me. From opening bell, when the rudos waylaid Hamada off the apron and started to decimate Cherry by spanking her, I got the feeling I was about to watch something special.
The opening portion of the match was just a display in brutality. With the way Ozaki was chowing down on Cherry's hands during this first heat portion, I wondered whether she was going to break out the wasabi, soy and candied ginger with that human sashimi. The thing was that the carnage could have been a lot worse. Shirai was on the apron teasing breaking out the chains. While that might have flown in SMASH, I wonder if they would have let that go in the more family-friendly Chikara. That portion didn't end with a hot tag, as Cherry made a decent comeback. This match didn't have the classic Rock 'n Roll Express-driven formula to it. When Cherry did make the hot tag, Hamada came rushing in only to fan on a leaping kick.
Whenever Hamada was in the match, the action just felt like it went to another level. Like, any of her exchanges with either member of the other team was so rooted in defense and countering. It felt like it was an elite exchange every time out, dodging kicks, blocking strikes. Compare that to Cherry who played up her role as the forever 18 novice, and it was a perfect compare-contrast tag team. The finish of the match was very exciting. I thought that the kick to the mush of Ozaki from Shirai would have led directly into the finish, since the two were wrestling each other the next night anyway. It didn't, but it was close. Still, all in all it was a pretty terrific match, one that got the crowd going out of its early doldrums.
Overall Impressions - I've been saying all along that Mike Quackenbush and Chikara have wanted to give its fans an education in joshi for the last 18 months. Tonight was the beginning of the final exam period, where the amounts of material put forth might have seemed a bit daunting at first. I think that manifested in the crowd reactions. The first three matches kinda had muted crowds to them. Of course, one of those matches was a tilt between two Chikara originals, but I also didn't think they had the best match they could have had.
That being said, the tag match woke everyone up, and I think people started paying attention, taking notes and really getting into what joshi was all about. It's more than just women beating the piss out of each other. It's about character and nuance, not just the stiff moves. IT was in the way Gami underestimated Shimono's guile to the point where she had to cheat her ass off to stay ahead. It was in the way Cherry seemingly intentionally looked lost in the ring sometimes because that's what 18 year old girls do. It was in the subtle role reversal in the main event, where it was the supposed underdog student taking it to the super rudo monster teacher. For a post-season event that had very little in the way of overarching storyline impact, it was so full of care and nuance. That's dedication to the art.
After tonight, I know I got much more of a better understanding and appreciation as to what joshi is as an artform in the greater framework of professional wrestling. It's not too hard to understand, but at the same time, there's a lot to miss. These performers and this environment were clear examples of that kind of attention to detail that can be found in the joshi culture.
Results
Kaori Yoneyama, Tsubasa Kurigaki and Hanako Nakamori d. Archibald Peck, El Hijo del Ice Cream and Ice Cream Jr.
Gami d. Sawako Shimono
Tim Donst d. Green Ant
Ayako Hamada and Cherry d. Mio Shirai and Mayumi Ozaki
Manami Toyota d. Toshie Uematsu
Team FIST (Chuck Taylor and Johnny Gargano) d. The Colony (Fire and Soldier Ants) 2 falls to 1 to retain the Campeonatos de Parejas
Sara del Rey d. Aja Kong
