Does that title describe this show or wrestling in general?
Wow. I really shouldn't've lead with an existential crisis.
Watching Main Event this week gave me the feeling I used to get when Community wasn't working. (It's a shame it only lasted three seasons, isn't it? Though at least Alison Brie will have a soft landing with Mad Men.) You can see some of the greatness poking out in drips and drabs, but you don't know when. It's like trying to turn 4 crackers into dinner. Your stomach knows it got something, but what was there was flimsy and it wasn't satisfying enough to quell the rumbles now coming forth.
Sure, we got no Miz on commentary since he opted to commit suicide by Lesnar Monday night. But his replacement JBL and Cole were more concerned about busting each other's chops than the matches in front of them, one of which at least was in the decent/very goodish range.
Of course, in Main Event fashion, it was the leadoff with the Pedophile facing the Albin---uh, Cody Rhodes v. Sheamus. I don't know why no one can write comedy for Main Event, but the whole lead-in started promising (Cody complaining about former World Champions getting put into SmackDown's Chamber when a perfectly dashing man stood ringside about to launch a sit-in over never getting his chance) and then devolved into Sheamus doing some bad imitations of the major players in WWE's power structure (pause for laughter). Of course, with Sheamus added to Cena's Justice League vs. the Shield at EC the outcome was less in doubt then ever, even with both men working hard in-ring via Cody's 0.3 Ziggler bump almost into our living rooms towards a cameraman from the apron and Sheamus once again sprucing up his move set with a single-arm DDT and even more impressively a one-two punch of spinebustering Cody into the post before fallaway slamming him into the barrier. The match told a fine story of Cody being able to outchain wrestle Sheamus early before Sheamus just overpowering him towards the inevitable Brogue Kick.
And then Damien Sandow came off of that into a fine promo continuing to have his best friend's back, which not only featured him slandering the ignorami in the audience but capping things off with an acidic "Bearded goatface, I summon thee!" Who knew Sandow was such a fan of Spoon? They fired up Revamp of the Valkryies, I sang DAN IEL BRY AN along to it like every decent human being should...and the match didn't even go five minutes and was more about Kane causing an "accidental" distraction by setting off his pyro and distracting Bryan, who promptly got Terminused. This win, properly done, should've bumped Damien up a notch in the eyes of the audience; instead it took a backseat to the continuing imploding Team Hell No story and was cut off with a lack of time that didn't let it fully develop into what it could've been. Given the opener, there was plenty of fat to cut there that would've been better served here.
Suddenly, without warning, thanks to Aksana and; Tamina chatting up Brodus Clay it went from McMahon programming (no, I didn't just almost misspell pogromming, how dare you) to the Real Housewives of Main Event. Hell, Tensai was on the side of the milk carton after last week's event's somehow. The ensuing tag that closed the show and sent the kids home happy was...how do the French say...not good. While Naomi showed some promise, Cole selling her like the black Trish Stratus I could've done without.
Main Event, you had all these awesome ingredients. But you used too much salt and not enough cumin this week, or something. In the end result this would prompt a negative Yelp review.
Let the hosses hoss. Save the comedy. Use the women who can actually wrestle.
Also, you should let that Daniel Bryan fella do more things. He's good at the things.
Wow. I really shouldn't've lead with an existential crisis.
Watching Main Event this week gave me the feeling I used to get when Community wasn't working. (It's a shame it only lasted three seasons, isn't it? Though at least Alison Brie will have a soft landing with Mad Men.) You can see some of the greatness poking out in drips and drabs, but you don't know when. It's like trying to turn 4 crackers into dinner. Your stomach knows it got something, but what was there was flimsy and it wasn't satisfying enough to quell the rumbles now coming forth.
Sure, we got no Miz on commentary since he opted to commit suicide by Lesnar Monday night. But his replacement JBL and Cole were more concerned about busting each other's chops than the matches in front of them, one of which at least was in the decent/very goodish range.
Of course, in Main Event fashion, it was the leadoff with the Pedophile facing the Albin---uh, Cody Rhodes v. Sheamus. I don't know why no one can write comedy for Main Event, but the whole lead-in started promising (Cody complaining about former World Champions getting put into SmackDown's Chamber when a perfectly dashing man stood ringside about to launch a sit-in over never getting his chance) and then devolved into Sheamus doing some bad imitations of the major players in WWE's power structure (pause for laughter). Of course, with Sheamus added to Cena's Justice League vs. the Shield at EC the outcome was less in doubt then ever, even with both men working hard in-ring via Cody's 0.3 Ziggler bump almost into our living rooms towards a cameraman from the apron and Sheamus once again sprucing up his move set with a single-arm DDT and even more impressively a one-two punch of spinebustering Cody into the post before fallaway slamming him into the barrier. The match told a fine story of Cody being able to outchain wrestle Sheamus early before Sheamus just overpowering him towards the inevitable Brogue Kick.
And then Damien Sandow came off of that into a fine promo continuing to have his best friend's back, which not only featured him slandering the ignorami in the audience but capping things off with an acidic "Bearded goatface, I summon thee!" Who knew Sandow was such a fan of Spoon? They fired up Revamp of the Valkryies, I sang DAN IEL BRY AN along to it like every decent human being should...and the match didn't even go five minutes and was more about Kane causing an "accidental" distraction by setting off his pyro and distracting Bryan, who promptly got Terminused. This win, properly done, should've bumped Damien up a notch in the eyes of the audience; instead it took a backseat to the continuing imploding Team Hell No story and was cut off with a lack of time that didn't let it fully develop into what it could've been. Given the opener, there was plenty of fat to cut there that would've been better served here.
Suddenly, without warning, thanks to Aksana and; Tamina chatting up Brodus Clay it went from McMahon programming (no, I didn't just almost misspell pogromming, how dare you) to the Real Housewives of Main Event. Hell, Tensai was on the side of the milk carton after last week's event's somehow. The ensuing tag that closed the show and sent the kids home happy was...how do the French say...not good. While Naomi showed some promise, Cole selling her like the black Trish Stratus I could've done without.
Main Event, you had all these awesome ingredients. But you used too much salt and not enough cumin this week, or something. In the end result this would prompt a negative Yelp review.
Let the hosses hoss. Save the comedy. Use the women who can actually wrestle.
Also, you should let that Daniel Bryan fella do more things. He's good at the things.
