Tuesday, July 16, 2013

When the Leviathan's Only the First Boss: A Theory on Paul Heyman's Last Line of Defense

The original Paul Heyman guy
Photo Credit: WWE.com
CM Punk last night on RAW, in his most earnest and impassioned performance yet, promised that he would hunt down everything near and dear to Paul Heyman and burn it to the ground. Heyman responded by breaking out some choice materia and summoning Leviathan's WWE analogue, Brock Lesnar. That seems to me that this battle between Heyman and Punk will come to a swift end. Of all the Paul Heyman guys, Lesnar has to be the ultimate one, right? He seems like it. He only appears occasionally, and when he does, bad things happen to those who are in his path for the most part.

If Punk's storyline were an action-adventure video game, then rolling out Lesnar as the first test would be akin to having to face off against Ganon in the first dungeon of The Legend of Zelda, especially considering that the only other Paul Heyman guy whom we readily know about right now is Curtis Axel. Somehow, I don't think that even WWE thinks anyone would buy Axel as the last thing standing between Heyman and Punk's taped fist.

I can think of two options here. One, this is the first match in a doubleheader or trilogy for Lesnar and Punk. This is the first battle where Lesnar throttles Punk and causes him to question his abilities. The other one, which is admittedly further out in leftfield but is also way juicier, is that Lesnar isn't the final boss. Neither is Axel.

No, that final Paul Heyman guy is "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.

Once upon a time, before he was an entrepreneur who provided rabid fans in Philly with ECW, Paul Heyman went by the name Paul E. Dangerously. Scorned by being "fired" from his job as an announcer, he went out and recruited five of the baddest men on the planet to be his personal hit squad: "Ravishing" Rick Rude, "The Enforcer" Arn Anderson, "Beautiful" Bobby Eaton, "The Living Legend" Larry Zbyszko, and "Stunning" Steve Austin. The Dangerous Alliance was the first collection of Paul Heyman guys (well, to be fair, the Midnight Express and Adrian Adonis were the first Dangerous Alliance, but I'm trying to build a narrative here, gawd), and as many a fan of early '90s WCW will tell you, they were one of the best stables ever.

Of that five spot, the one who benefited the most from association with Heyman was Austin. Since this story is all about blurring the boundary between the Gorilla position and stage right underneath the TitanTron, the talking point that Austin would not have been put on the path to where he was in 1996 and beyond is totally valid and totally in play here. While Austin didn't ascend to greatness in WCW because of the Alliance, he never lost Heyman as an advocate despite the clashes he had with the office.

In fact, there are a lot of similarities, though not exact, between Punk and Austin. WCW had no idea what they had with Austin, so they fired him. Heyman hired Austin to work for ECW in a short respite before the WWF took him in, and there was one seminal promo that catapulted him onto the fast track to superstardom. Again, a lot of this isn't exactly analogous, but at the same time, you don't need a Xerox machine to manufacture comparable career arcs. WWE didn't fire Punk, but they certainly didn't know what they had with him until Heyman went to bat for him. Punk also had a seminal moment on the mic that transformed him from guy with potential to bona fide main event star.

WWE couldn't have drawn the set up for this more perfectly than they have, whether they meant to or not. They've prepared the way for a match that fans have been salivating for ever since Punk and Austin started jabbing at each other on Twitter to hype up WWE '12. Austin said that he didn't want to get into the ring with Punk unless they had a real story going. Well, now Austin has an in. He can help bail out the guy who gave him his first real break in the biz from an ungrateful former protege who is pissed because he didn't recognize Heyman's greatness. If that doesn't scream "WrestleMania," nothing does.

Punk, as a performer, never seems content to go through big-picture stories the easy way. He seems to be a guy who always chooses hard mode. The Leviathan as the first boss, or in this case, really the third boss if you count Jericho as the first and Money in the Bank as the second, works if someone who has more deviousness and cunning to go with his raw ass-kicking abilities lurks further down the line. It's entirely possible that Lesnar is not only an initial test, but the planned final test. But what if this story is WWE's way of finally drawing Austin back into the ring for the one dream match that so many of its fans are salivating to see? It might be a long shot, but it's worth the dream, especially since it makes more sense than anyone would ever let on.