Monday, December 23, 2013

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, December 23

Merry Christmas from Down Under!
Photo Credit: Emma
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. AJ Lee (Last Week: 1) - Oh man, her turn on commentary Friday night on Smackdown was ether. STRAIGHT ETHER. Tell me again why she's not one of the faces of WWE - not just the Divas, but the entire WWE - again?

2. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 2) - I had really good Texas-style brisket on Saturday night. I know the link between Texan cuisine and Summerlyn is tenuous at best. I just had to tell you guys that.

3. George Costanza (Last Week: Not Ranked) - In honor of the holiday season, I have made a GENEROUS donation in your name to the Human Fund. The Human Fund - it's money for people. Happy Festivus, everyone!

4. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 3) - Honestly, if I were Bryan, I would have cracked John Cena in the jaw for trying to speak on my behalf Monday. Then again, I guess the gesture of friendship was nice, y'know?

5. Cookies (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Twitter has this insane war between pie lovers and cake aficionados, and I think it's silly. For one, cake and pie are both great, but the main reason is that neither can hold a candle to the cookie. The holiday season is prime cookie season. My wife baked like a shitload of cookies, and I have been trying my hardest not to eat all of them.

6. Mark Henry (Last Week: 7) - After an unfortunate incident where Henry accidentally ate all Santa's reindeer, he personally volunteered to pull the sleigh himself. I expect Christmas deliveries to be made with time zones to spare this year.

7. The Krampus (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Watch the latest Christmas episode of American Dad and you'll understand.

8. Eddie "Eddie Edwards" Edwards (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Sure, he made his NXT debut and got a new name, but his biggest achievement of the week? Performing a hotel room Perfect-plex. WUUUUT.

9. Emma (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Of all the NXT women who took pictures in elf costumes, Emma looked the most believable. I wonder if her dance is really just a secret elf toy-making technique...

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: She celebrates every holiday possible so she can stock up for gum for the entire year.