Thursday, January 2, 2014

The Royal Rumble by (Entry) Numbers: 7

The Snake, the only man to draw 7 three times
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Winners: None
Final four: Triple H (2nd, 2009); Edge (3rd, 2005)
Multiple draws: Jake Roberts (1989, 1996, 1997); Steve Blackman (1999, 2000)
Longest: Triple H (2009), 49:55
Shortest: Jonathan Coachman (2006): 0:30.
Most eliminations: Seven — Diesel (1994)

Perhaps the most notable fact associated with the seventh entry spot is that twice the same man drew the same number two years in a row — Steve Blackman in 1999 and 2000, and Jake “the Snake” Roberts in 1996 and 1997, which actually were his second and third time entering at seven after doing so in his second Rumble in 1989. Roberts has been in seven Rumbles, all but once entering in the first ten spots. There’s a lot of buzz on him being one of the “legends” entries in this year’s bout, and if that turns out to be the case, here’s hoping he makes it four times entering seventh.

Another anomaly, though largely insignificant, is the repetition of notable stars eliminating the seventh entrant in consecutive Rumbles. Andre the Giant did so in 1989 (Roberts) and 1990 (Warlord). Steve Austin matched him in 1997 (Roberts again) and 1998 (8-Ball). And CM Punk pulled it off in 2010 (Zack Ryder) and 2011 (John Morrison). That’s the kind of thing that means absolutely nothing in the big picture, but there’s an outside chance Sheamus can join the club in 2014.

But enough with the oddities — who’s the best No. 7 ever? This is another entry spot that’s produced no winners, but two men nearly one. The edge for who had the better overall showing goes not to Edge himself, who finished third in 2005, lasting 40:19 and ousting five men, but to good ol’ Triple H, who in 2009 went 49:55 and made six eliminations before Randy Orton dumped him to win the match. They’d go on to deliver a remarkably underwhelming main event a few months later at WrestleMania XXV.

An argument could be made to pass over both final four finishers to single out Diesel as the greatest No. 7 ever. In 1994, still largely seen more as Shawn Michaels’ bodyguard than an actual competitive threat, Diesel put the WWF on notice with seven eliminations in just short of 18 minutes in the ring — a remarkable run at the time, though three min since have logged seven eliminations in less time.

Though Diesel’s run through the field came only one year after Yokozuna tossed seven men (in 14:53) en route to a victory, the Samoan “sumo” superstar entered his Rumble on a dominant streak and a heavy (no pun intended) favorite to win the match and the guaranteed title shot. Diesel, as noted, used the Rumble as a coming out party. He tossed Bart Gunn, Scott Steiner, Owen Hart, Kwang, Bob Backlund, Billy Gunn, and Virgil before five men ganged up on him. A few months later the bodyguard was Intercontinental Champion, he won tag team gold in August and was WWF Champion by the end of November — a title he defended successfully at the 1995 Rumble.

When Diesel tossed Billy Gunn he became just the second wrestler in Rumble history to eliminate both members of the same tag team in the same night (Hulk Hogan ousted both Brain Busters in 1989 and Demolition members Crush and Smash in 1991). Oddly enough the Gunns became the only team to double up on the distinction when in 1995 Crush and Dick Murdoch dumped Billy and Bart.

Another No. 7 joined this exclusive club in 2012 — Mick Foley (then clearly in the “legend” phase of his career) showed then tag-champs Primo and Epico to the floor. He also dumped Justin Gabriel in a highly productive 6:34 (the eighth-shortest stint of the 48 entrants who logged three eliminations), in what technically was his best Rumble performance ever. Taking account all his personalities, Foley entered a Rumble seven times. His three showings in 1998 were cumulatively more impactful than one turn in 2012, but there’s got to be some sort of asterisk for that outlier.

After Triple H, Edge, Diesel and Foley, the seventh spot serves up a giant turd sandwich. Some 16 of 26 entrants made zero eliminations. Eight men failed to last four minutes, eight more failed to last ten. The worst of the worst is Jonathan Coachman lasting 30 seconds in 2006, but the worst actual wrestler designation goes to Zack Ryder’s 32 seconds in 2010.

Long Island Iced Z has been in three Rumbles for a total of 3:49 and no eliminations. The only person with a worse record is Bushwhacker Luke, who racked up just 3:24 in his three Rumbles. Ryder was eliminated by CM Punk (2010), Daniel Bryan (2011) and Randy Orton (2013), while Luke met his fate at the hands of Hulk Hogan (1989), Earthquake (1991) and Shawn Michaels (1995). I’m not sure what to make of any of that information except to say both men only wish they could have Scotty 2 Hotty’s sterling mark of 4:24 over three Rumbles, and in the grand history of pro wrestling, Bushwhacker Luke warrants significantly more esteem than Zack Ryder.

Year
Wrestler
Dur.
Out
El.
Eliminated By
1988
Jim Brunzell
0:12:06
5
1
Volkoff
1989
Jake Roberts
0:02:08
3
0
Andre
1990
Warlord
0:08:16
5
0
Andre
1991
Saba Simba
0:02:27
2
0
Martel
1992
Tito Santana
0:13:55
9
1
Michaels
1993
Jerry Lawler
0:14:35
6
1
Perfect
1994
Diesel
0:17:41
13
7
Bigelow, Mabel, Holly, Michaels, Crush
1995
Tom Prichard
0:05:30
6
0
Michaels
1996
Jake Roberts
0:14:39
6
2
Vader
1997
Jake Roberts
0:01:10
6
0
Austin
1998
Ron Harris (8-Ball)
0:30:43
14
1
Austin
1999
Steve Blackman
0:07:22
4
0
Mabel, Singh
2000
Steve Blackman
0:00:44
6
0
Rikishi
2001
Raven
0:08:51
9
0
Kane
2002
Billy Gunn
0:03:37
7
1
Undertaker
2003
Chavo Guerrero
0:07:10
8
0
Edge
2004
Matt Hardy
0:14:18
8
0
Duprée
2005
Edge
0:40:19
28
5
Batista, Cena
2006
Jonathan Coachman
0:00:30
4
0
Big Show
2007
Sabu
0:05:28
4
0
Kane
2008
Tommy Dreamer
0:02:09
3
0
Batista
2009
Triple H
0:49:55
29
6
Orton
2010
Zack Ryder
0:00:32
6
0
Punk
2011
John Morrison
0:13:24
10
0
Punk
2012
Mick Foley
0:06:34
8
3
C. Rhodes
2013
Titus O'Neil
0:07:30
3
0
Sheamus