Thursday, February 6, 2014

Best Coast Bias: This Episode Brought To You By The Letter E

Everything he do -- especially in his home state -- he do it big
Photo Credit:
The biggest E of them all right now, of course, is the one who's Intercontinental Champion. The ex-Hawkeye returned not only to his home state in the Wiz Khalifa singlet but also came back to a familiar opponent in Curtis Axel. This was a homecoming for the rising star, and the choice of Axel as opponent was appropriate as such; as any college football fan knows, what you want for your homecoming game is a guaranteed W, and even dating back to last summer at Full Sail Axel's never been better than Big.

Here, not even the usual tropes could save Curtis Axel from the inevitable Ending; not only did he not have control coming back from the show's final break, but the new Champion kicked out of the former's father's signature coup de gras that in his well-meaning hands can only be truly dubbed the Imperfectplex. He tried to cheat, he tried to stall, and he even succeded at being temporarily crafty. All it did was delay an inevitable belly-to-Bayley (both the standing and overhead varietals), the 747 splash, and the infamous over-the-shoulder gutbuster.

Another E, sadly, is for Eh. When you look at a preview and see Zach Ryder v. Alberto del Rio, this is the knowledgeable person's reaction to have. It's one thing to know how a match is going to go; it's another thing entirely when your guess of how long the match would last comes so close that you'd be playing Plinko under the Price Is Right rules. It was actually a bit surprising that Ryder got in as much work as he did, even connecting with the BroBoot in his biggest moment. The crowd reacted well to him, which was another pleasant surprise. And as for Del Rio, he seems to be by circumstance absolutely trapped in no man's land, the ceiling for the majority but the floor for the minority that makes the biggest names, the king nothing of a scorched earth no matter how impressive his rope-hung double stomp is, how precisely he connects with the Codearmbreaker (™ Best Coast Bias) or how crisp his tilt-a-whirl backbreaker connects. Having nothing to offer him besides a douchebag powerbombing him again, we find out the other thing E stands for in WWEME this week...

...EMMATAINMENT. Oh, sure, Miz had a match with Fandango, but c'mon son. When Emma finally got to walk out from behind the curtain, it was a proud moment for us Emmacrats, especially with her bouncy NXT theme untouched and a spattering of bubbles welcoming her on her way to the ring to commentate. Hell, she and Santino still suck at greeting each other, and since this is all leading to what was the funniest match seen in this circle in 2013 -- where the crowd jumpers turned superstars went up against SummerFan down Full Sail way -- it was very, very welcome to see. It also helped that in addition to being funny with malapropisms Santino also noted some good points from both men's offense and what it was like to be in the ring with them. (You know what's not good? Miz's Emma Dance. It's like his figure four. Son, you may mean well, but....son. Go back to the rebound clothesline well, you're good at that.)

It'll be dimly remembered that Fandango barely got in any offense, or has been completely out of sorts since the lovely blonde from Down Under jumped to the big leagues. It might be remembered more so for everybody not named Tom Phillips Emma Dancing to celebrate a perfectly adequate victory from the self-proclaimed awesome one and it being a rare moment where NXT's levity was brought untouched to a (slightly?) bigger audience and not losing anything in the translation for it. If Main Event is to continue into year 3 and beyond for the mega diehards that favor it for its more straightforward presentations of the professional grappling, it could do worse than emmalating NXT and bringing it up wholesale when need be. Hell, that'd make it yet another E: