Monday, February 24, 2014

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, February 24

Gonna miss you, Egon
Photo via PDX Retro
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Harold Ramis (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Ramis passed away today at the age of 69. He was best known for his role as Egon Spengler in the Ghostbusters movies, but the man wrote and directed some of the other seminal comedies of the '80s and '90s, including Animal House and Groundhog Day. The man was a cinematic titan, and the least I can do to honor him is put him up top here today.

2. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 2) - Seriously, what more does Bryan have to do to prove that he's the best wrestler on this Earth? Well, considering that Antonio Cesaro tried to top his deathlock/Northern Lights suplex combo by German suplexing John Cena with Bryan in the Attitude Adjustment, I'd say the gauntlet's continually being thrown. But he's up for the challenge. You know it to be true.

3. AJ Lee (Last Week: 3) - I know I'm getting into objectification territory, but when she taunted Cameron with that half-a-butt-touch, the only thing I could think about was her replacing trading Tamina Snuka for Naomi. For reasons. Shut up, I can slip into my lizard brain once in awhile.

4. Jason Collins (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Collins made history by being the first openly gay athlete to play in major American team sports last night. That fact is a big deal. YUUUUGE if you weeeelllll.

5. Mark Henry (Last Week: 6) - Henry showed he has the voice and the delivery for an analyst's job. He just needs to be a bit more confident in what he has to say. He just needs to treat his phrasing like a wig that needs to be split.

6. Michael Sam (Last Week: 7) - One GOP lobbyist is trying to draft a bill banning homosexuals from the NFL. Homophobes be scared. They be rill scared.

7. Davey Vega (Last Week: Not Ranked) - He pulled the ol' fake retirement ruse at ACW last night, showing that the rubes will buy anything they're presented.

8. Homemade Spaghetti and Meatballs (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Regular pasta is great, but when you make it yourself or buy it from a reputable pasta maker fresh, it's SO FUCKING GOOD YESSSSSSSS.


10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: She's pitching a show for the Network on the best gum swats by Mr. Perfect, despite the fact that she's uneasy about glorifying such a waste of chewing gum.