Monday, March 24, 2014

The Past is Prologue: Total Divas Season 2, Episode 2

Eva Marie has pics on the web? Who cares.
Photo Credit:
I'm getting very sad at this time of year and I'm starting to wonder if it is affecting my enjoyment of reality show fodder. This isn't a good time for writing therapy, so I'm going to avoid doing that, but needless to say I'm kind of on my down crest. My job is fine, but I could use something that really pushes my creativity beyond a pitch to buy printers. I'm okay, my car actually starts, and I don't feel like the most undesirable person on the planet. So what gives? I don't know, maybe it's that little streak wherein getting to know people suddenly reveals their worst qualities. The type of behavior you believe you would put your foot down on if you met them in the first week is now awful behavior you passively accept because you're already broken. You're afraid you won't find anything else. Life broke you.

So anyways, Total Divas is a television show on the E! Network and is not at all what I'm attempting to make into a metaphor here. Not at all. Still, the return episodes have been pretty joyless. I mean, there are still jokes, but hardly of the caliber of last season's efforts. I guess it is finally the time for everyone to really become a real shit to each other. Then again, I think I am blind to this or frankly just stupid. This has always been Total Divas' knock. The cattiness is both the draw and the detriment. I don't know why suddenly I've come to realize this. Total Divas actually makes me feel either dumber or simply just gullible.

And honestly, I don't know if that will ever change. I feel like I've peeled back just a bit too far. It's like when Daniel Bryan on a random RAW episode does a goofy one off joke about Stephanie McMahon, but I interpret it as "he's kind of acting like a sexist." I'll be honest, I think I blame myself in that regard. I cannot interpret the story in its obvious text or the context of the company or the context of the reality show where women more or less become husks of humans. This is depressing. I am a bit depressed or a lot depressed. I just wanted to write a comical Total Divas review, because that is what I always do. And I'm writing this because I do feel all I wrote is worth asking, because if I honestly disliked everything about the show, I wouldn't watch or write a review about the damn thing.

I also wonder how seriously I take some dumb bullshit that is meant to be reality fodder. The whole crux of the episode is that some salacious photos of Eva Marie were on the internet and that Ariane found them and that the obvious workplace "everyone has seen them" arc was on. And that part is probably mostly staged. I don't think said photos are all that pornographic in nature and I imagine main roster talent have done more salacious things for the very company they work for. Let me reveal that I know this is dumb. But this whole storyline turned me off. It was the sort of passive acceptance we've heard about. I don't have sympathy for it all, really. I don't feel affected. I don't care. This is reality television that reveals the immediate In The Company of Men-like potential of humanity. Which, whatever. Wrestlers aren't exactly holders of a moral barometer. But this isn't fun television. At all. This isn't comeuppance or horrible bitchiness or whatever. It just feels kind of like I was wrong.

Anyways, here's a list. No blurbs, really. Just names.

1. Daniel Bryan's bus
2. Daniel Bryan
3. Summer Rae
4. Brie Bella
5. Titus O'Neil
6. John Cena
7. Nikki Bella
8. Trinity
9. Nattie
10. Eva Marie