The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, April 14

MEETING OF THE TITANS
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - Main evented WrestleMania on Sunday in the most boss way possible, chewed up scenery with Hulk Hogan on Tuesday, and then Friday got married. Yep, I'd say he had a good week.

2. Hulk Hogan (Last Week: Not Ranked) - WHAT'CHA GONNA DO, BROTHER, WHEN THE LARGEST BEARD IN THE WORLD RUNS WILD ON YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. Also, relevant.

3. Paige (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Not only did she capture the Divas Championship in her first match on the main roster, but she also was kind enough to bail her mom out of prison after she killed Pegaboo. Haha, just kidding, no single big city police force can take down Saraya Knight.

4. Calamari Siciliano (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Any old schmuck can fry calamari, but only the most enterprising folks toss it in scampi sauce and serve it with capers and pickled veggies like Jojo's right outside of Atlantic City. YISSS.

5. LuFisto (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Honestly, if my spirit guide and best friend had been decapitated in front of me by the most unhinged psychopath in wrestling, I might have gone home. Not LuFisto though. Nope, not LuFisto.

6. Kevin Harvey (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Then again, Harvey, in aiding LuFisto in her victory against Knight, may have wagered more bodily harm since I'm pretty sure Sweet Saraya could and probably would break every bone in his body, grind them up, and make celebratory bread for her aforementioned daughter.

7. Mark Henry (Last Week: 8) - Henry is going to go hibernate until he's needed to punch Brock Lesnar in the neck after Money in the Bank. He will eat all the bears in the cave he chooses as a pre-nap snack.

8. Sansa Stark (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The only thing stopping her from doing the Nae-Nae after her ex-fiance King Joffrey croaked was that she might have been thrown in the clink with her new husband. Still, finally things are looking up for the ginger Stark child.

9. AJ Lee (Last Week: 2) - I can't fault Lee for losing the Divas Championship due to excessive hubris. To be fair, she ain't faced a challenge like Paige.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: She has learned Jedi spirit projection so that she can never have to miss another SHIMMER weekend again, no matter how hectic her schedule becomes.