The Past Is Prologue: Total Divas, Season 2, Penultimate Episode

Bryan and Bella (and Josie!) get prepared for their wedding
Photo Credit: WWE.com

In the cliche "this is how your life goes" sector, the wedding is expressed as an important step to the process. I, of course, find that cliche to be potentially toxic, as marriage can be a terrifying thing especially when mixed with self-doubt, insecurity, and not wanting to feel alone despite the realization that being together could be far worse. I am the son of this type of home. My sister and I turned out fine, but at the same time, the marriage clearly didn't. My mom and dad were terrible matches for each other and ultimately my dad played the cliche abandoned father.

Without going too much into personal details, marriage is a painful thing in my family. I've wondered if my own self-doubt has averted me from even attempting relationships, much less the fear that marriage only leads to court battles over children, revelations of a poor lifestyle, or even just the pure terror of raising a child. I have no doubts that people don't go through this thought process, however, not the least of which would be the main patriarch of this site, who seems to be in a happy marriage and is a loving father for all I know. Marriage just kind of makes me fearful, though.

Funnily enough, I say this as I'm referring to the two part finale that documents the wedding of Bryan Danielson and Brianna Garcia in as much as two seemingly genuine people that actually care about each other and would not emotionally or physically destroy the other. I mean, they even made their own adorable couples' Facebook page. They clearly like what wrestling has brought them, but see themselves as more interesting than that. Brie has a throwaway line in the episode where she asks what song would be perfect for the wedding dance, offhandedly mentioning Blitzen Trapper in likely the first and last ever mention the beloved alt country band will ever receive on WWE television.

In that extent, I would be happy to see them turn out well. But even the most graceful of couples can have something that doesn't work out. I don't want to be a Debbie Downer about this. The actual wedding (which naturally is concurrent with the Payback pay-per-view and the storyline wrench that Brie could be fired and probably could easily be in a situation where she is fired in storyline by the company that will air her wedding) airs this Sunday and I suppose it will go as smoothly as expected, with the assumption that John Cena will be told Nikki Bella was once married (spoiler: he won't give a shit), Summer Rae will change everything that has made her a sympathetic flawed character (spoiler: she's just one of the girls now), and Eva Marie will come out to K-Kwik's "Gettin' Rowdy" and I will be so happy (spoiler: I'm lying, that will never happen).

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By the way, I can't promise anything, but I'd love to use this entry to call out some of the other folks that have recapped this program for a Skype chat or podcast recording or something. I'd like Kayfabe Comedy and the like to be involved. If that doesn't happen, Kayfabe Comedy wanted me to do fan fiction with him of Total Divas being like Twin Peaks. Either way, next week's entry won't be the very last time I'm talking Total Divas.