Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Best Coast Bias: Because Good Is Dumb

Is this about to be the new Face of the Company?  No, seriously: is it?
Photo credit:
One of the ripple effects of our main man D-Bry's injury is the fact there's the possibility with the upcoming Money in the Bank match for the Unified Championship that darkness -- maybe even an Authority-endorsed iteration of the same -- may rule again over the landscape where the Summer of Yes! was supposed to go.

It's tragic and entirely possible everybody's pet goat may be remembered by pro graps historians the way the '86 Rockets are recalled by pro ball historians of the Western Conference - an intriguing anomaly that briefly shook up a timeline that sputtered out due to reasons both in and beyond their control.  That said, with three slots remaining for the opportunity to make history come the end of the month and Orton having already being (rightfully, it must be said) gifted entryway into the match, it sure would be nice for the Authoritah to have some sort of high profile insurance plan going into it and holy crap look at the smug look on this guy's bleeping face I hope Roman Reigns punches him so hard it knocks the streak out of his greasy hair.

The show started improbably with the dulcet tones of Motörhead and ended predictably, at least to the 48 people who still follow Smackdown.  However, in the interim, Triple H smugged his way through getting what he wanted in the Unified Championship situation before introducing his latest corporate sycophant, the ex-Architect.  Rollins, like Triple H before him, proved that power corrupts absolutely and spoke of being connected to it in a way that confirmed Kanye West's chorus with the only person who could even possibly hope to relate at this point being the COO.  Certainly not his ex-"business associates", which made them Just Like Each And Every One Of You.  (You can tell he's a WWE heel now when that phrase comes a cropper.)  Dolph Ziggler came out with a rebuttal, and said all the right things: self-centered, scumbag, traitor, et al.; but having just failed in this attempt on SmackDown it was going to be hard convincing someone that he was really going to win to close out the show considering two years ago for similar reasons to Daniel's that he'd fallen off the rocket that Seth had just cashed out to get onto.

So the Showoff/Sellout main event was set, but you could see any traction the wheels on the Ziggler winning bandwagon might've had dwindling towards nothingness when he went Full Ziggler into the corner and over and out to the floor to punctuate going to the last commercial break.  Most of the match's tail end was Seth taunting Ziggler with "playful" slaps and short kicks, with the crowd trying to rally Dolph at a few points before he went down to a turnbuckle powerbomb ^ Curb Stomp combo.  It seems only logical given his own propensities for aerial derring-do and (in-character) ((??)) Triple H's propensity to have his fingerprints all over everything to the point that his backup plans have backup plans that Rollins could have a major role to play and as improbable as it may've seemed on the first of the month that he may be the new golden boy of the company.  Of course, how that'd play with his ex-brothers in black in a no-disqualification situation, let alone the fact Orton never got pinned or tapped out to lose the belts in the first place or ever got a rematch in the second place, well -- it is not a flawless option, by any means.  But Plan C may already be in the works; just keep your eyes peeled for that.

The rest of the show wasn't much besides recaps, sorry to say.  Jimmy Uso and Luke Harper had a fun little sprint of a match, but given how many times we've seen both teams they represent go after each other in hard-hitting tags getting under five minutes and ending with a surprise rollup off a superkick couldn't help but disappointed.  Kofi Kingston went after Ruseahahaahahahahahahahahaahahaha. Sorry.  At this point the retrofitted Russian by way of Bulgaria is worse for black people than sickle cell anemia and Tyler Perry's continued existence combined, and the only difference between Kofi and Zach Ryder at this point is the seasonal battle royal highspot the former gets.  And the less said about Layla jumping Summer Rae with a box of kitty litter before pouring it on her and receipting her milk bath from Monday night, the better.  That's probably a conversation for the Pornhub forums and not the Bias.

That silliness aside, for everything everyone around him's been doing lately, it was interesting to see the one trope Rollins didn't give into through the night: looking overhead where the belts of WWE hung in the balance.  It was almost as if somehow he'd gotten it into his head when they finally landed they'd be in his hands anyway, and good things come to those who stab their friends in the back.