Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Rollins' Reasons for Splitting: A Scientific List

Hey, Rollins had his reasons...
Photo Credit: WWE.com
As I’m sure many of you are probably aware, Seth Rollins left the Shield on Raw Monday night. This clearly was something that had been brewing for some time and it was one of life’s many inevitabilities. The list below is some of the reasons Sethford Rollins, IV betrayed his partners and “brothers,” Deanward Ambrose and Romanus Reigns.
  1. All three fought over time in the shower, leading to arena tardiness
  2. Dean never defended his United States Championship
  3. Roman borrowed Seth’s DVD copy of Road House and never returned it
  4. Dean forgot Seth’s birthday
  5. Roman lifted the seat and never closed it
  6. Dean and Roman ditched Seth while he was competing in one of his Crossfit events
  7. Dean forgot Seth’s birthday again
  8. Roman accidentally knocked Seth’s framed autograph photo of David Hasselhoff off the wall
  9. Dean never stopped chasing cars on the street
  10. Roman poked fun at Seth’s music selection
  11. Dean used all of Seth’s sriracha sauce for his burrito
  12. Roman won’t stop saying “butts” on car rides
  13. That one time when Dean ran around naked at Seth’s pool party
  14. Seth getting the blame by Dean and Roman for dyeing Batista’s gear blue
  15. Dean and Roman go rollerskating, leaving Seth to hang out with Michael Cole
  16. Seth always being delegated with dry cleaning
  17. Dean and Roman ruined Seth’s casserole dinner plans by ordering pizza
  18. Dean and Roman spend their nights playing video games, while Seth wants to play board games
  19. The fishing trip that NOBODY speaks of
  20. Dean constantly posting Instagram photos of Seth sleeping
  21. Roman shooting spitwads at Seth during car trips
  22. And last but not least, Triple H offered more money
Now look, maybe you feel Seth shouldn’t have betrayed his partners like that. All I’m doing is simply offering a list. Please try and understand this from Seth’s viewpoint.