Monday, June 9, 2014

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, June 9

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Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Paige (Last Week: 1) - Paige not only showed that she's a formidable WWE Divas Champion, she showed that even the daughter of a demonic warrior can know the value of friendship. You know Bayley was certainly appreciative that Paige made the save for her.

2. Kevin Steen (Last Week: Not Ranked) - HUGE HUGE HUGE Steen update: He installed his air conditioner today! DOES ANYTHING EXIST THAT THIS MAN CANNOT DO?

3. Candice LeRae (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Not only did she and Joey Ryan win the Dreamwave Tag Team Championship, they apparently also won the old WWF Tag Team Championships too. Oh wait, the Dreamwave Titles just LOOK like those belts? Ah dang.

4. Alicia Fox (Last Week: 2) - Now that she's reunited with Aksana to reform FOXSANA, no Diva in WWE is safe. Literally. They will break everyone's arms. And orbital sockets. And skulls.

5. Mark Henry (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Mark Henry would have joined The Shield, but he still remembers them fuckin' with him way back without getting them back for it. Like The North, Mark Henry remembers.

6. Hafþór Björnsson (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Not only did he "win" the Trial by Combat on last week's Game of Thrones, he dressed up as the Incredible Hulk and actually put the real Hulk to shame with his muscles.

7. Taco Bell Quesarito (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Every time I try to get out of eating fast food, Taco Bell has to go and drag me back in...

8. Maria Sharapova (Last Week: Not Ranked) - She won the French Open this past weekend at the ripe old age of 27. That sounds young, sure, but in women's tennis terms, she's like 78. Impressive.

9. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 7) - Shame he had to go down and lose his title without losing it, but at least we'll have the memories of his combined title reigns... uh, on second thought...

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: She is currently giving Bayley special lessons on how to properly hug a wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man.