Big Heat's Hot Takes: The American Way

Why don't you just sit back and ENJOY the patriotism????
Photo Credit: WWE.com

This past Monday on RAW, everyone’s favorite xenophobic babyface Zeb Colter decided to define what the American flag actually represented. And, hoo boy, did it get everyone into a tizzy. Apparently, while some people are okay with cheering for former bad guy Colter and his charge Jack Swagger because YAY MURICA, they didn’t take too kindly to what The Real Americans had to say about Old Glory.

So, what did the WWE Universe find to be so offensive? (Possibly paraphrasing here)

“This flag represents a father teaching his son to fish, or a mother teaching her daughter to cook.”

and

“This flag represents pick-up trucks, and pretty girls, and beer!”

Why the issue? GENDER STEREOTYPING, WHAT IS THIS 1870, BRO?

Because in America in 2014, you’re not allowed to wax nostalgic or value tradition. EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE PROGRESSIVE.

As soon as the words about the father/son and mother/daughter passed Colter’s glorious mustache, I braced myself, a la Ned Stark for winter - Liberalism is Coming, I thought. And sure enough, my Twitter feed was littered with people bemoaning the fact that gender roles that had been defined generations ago were being reinforced on a show that predominately features men grappling in their underwear.

“Why can’t the mother and daughter be fishing? Why can’t the father and son be cooking?” the tweets poured in. Well, by that logic, let me ask this: Why can’t the father be teaching his daughter to fish? Why can’t the mother be teaching her son to cook? Why do the men and women have to be segregated by sex? If you’re going to whine about who’s being taught to follow old-fashioned and archaic gender roles, go the extra mile and be offended at who’s teaching the old-fashioned and archaic gender roles to be followed. Only in America can a group of people half-ass being offended.

And what about Colter’s other questioned line, about the trucks, women, and booze? How could this possibly be considered offensive? Well, some folks who claim to be proud Americans don’t drive pick-up trucks, or don’t like women, or don’t drink beer. They take the bus, and enjoy the company of men, or are straight-edge. Their major complaint was regarding the implication that because they didn’t subscribe to the trucks/girls/beer lifestyle, they weren’t “real Americans.”

Here’s what’s getting lost in this whole debate - a babyface is supposed to appeal to the widest possible audience to elicit the largest positive crowd reaction possible. And let’s not forget that Colter and Swagger are both from the South; both men’s hometowns are full of beer and pick-up trucks, and who doesn't love a pretty girl? Most guys want to find one, and most girls want people to think they’re pretty (not all, but most).

In today’s America, it seems to be the trend to be offended by everything. Had Colter said the flag represented apple pie and baseball, people would have responded with, “I’m diabetic,” and, “Baseball is boring, let’s watch soccer!” If we’re not complaining, we’re not happy.

But if Colter said, “This flag represents the right to be offended by everything, and speak your mind about it!” he’s back to being a heel.