Monday, July 7, 2014

Dispatches from the Lake: Super Saiyan Gyms Are a Thing?!

A woman on the commentary desk? Long overdue.
Photo Credit:
Hello folks! I hope you all had a happy Fourth of July! Hopefully you spent it outside enjoying a hot dog with traditional Chicago toppings or other grilled deliciousness with a frosty beverage of your choosing. If you’re not from the States, sorry you had to be stuck at work, unless ketchup was going on your hot dog. In that case, I’m happy you were stuck inside.

The lovely and talented Renee Young would be joining Tom Phillips at the commentary table from now on. Byron Saxton was on backstage interview duty. It was awesome to see a woman at the desk. I thought she did a great job, though I’m pretty sure Vince isn’t the Superstars commentators’ ears. So plusses all around!

First match on the show was Big E Langston against Titus O’Neil. This episode’s most egregious failing was that each of the matches was only a few minutes long. I realize I complain about that every week, but what the hell? The episode ended with thirteen minutes left until the next show. Would it have been so terrible to throw an extra match in there? They could have filmed it before they went live with Main Event. Or shit, why not film some studio stuff like they did back in the day? Show the matches, and then hit me with some new content. Don’t just show me what happened on RAW, throw some talking heads in front of me (preferable Paul Heyman and whoever the hell else you have lying around) and chat about what happened this week. Don’t just make this a throwaway hour. Make it something people want to see.

Anyway, this was a fine little HOSSfest while it lasted. O'Neil still really doesn’t look like he cares, but he seemed a bit more into this match then the one he was in a few weeks ago. At the very least, he was doing his barking taunt. These are steps in the right direction. Big E was really into it, and the crowd was all about him. Big E eventually won with the Big Ending.

Second match of the evening was Alberto del Rio vs. R-Truth with Xavier Woods. This was nothing special. Both guys were working hard, but I had a hard time paying attention to the match when Woods was wearing a shirt that is advertising a Super Saiyan Gym. That’s not even fair. All I could think about was how soon I could get my hands on that shirt. I need it LIKE I NEED OXYGEN.

Moving on, del Rio heeled it up through the match. He tried to flip Truth into the cross arm breaker, but Truth jumped weird, so he landed on his head before falling into the submission. It looked terrible, but del Rio picked up the win, which in the long run will mean bupkis.

Wuthering Recaps

Loads of recaps this week, but Raw was actually pretty good, so these weren’t as torturous as they normally are. I still maintain they are largely pointless, but I’m not up to screaming at that brick wall this week.

The Miz and Chris Jericho came back! I really hope they have something in mind for the Miz. This Hollywood jag persona he’s got going on could really work. I’m not the biggest Miz fan, but if he’s going to be a part of the roster, give the poor guy something to do that doesn’t include hosting the show. As for Jericho, he’s always a welcome sight. Here’s a guy who actually seems to cares about building up the next generation of wrestlers. I’m really looking forward to what Bray Wyatt and he put together. And I think we can all say with confidence that Wyatt won’t end up like poor Fandango.

AJ Lee’s back! I’m not crazy about her winning back the title so quickly, but if they make a proper feud of it with Paige, I’m down. I’d love for Paige to just decimate every one she faces from now until she gets her rematch. Let the crowd really see what she’s made of. They spent a little time recapping the start of Raw.

I really like the idea of Triple H and Steph subverting Cena in his attempts to rebel. We all know Cena is the system. He can’t rebel against himself.

I still don’t get what THE DEMON KANE is doing in these main events. It makes sense in terms of the story they’re telling. Stick another Authority guy in there to help Randy Orton win, but there isn’t anyone else? Kane is the anti-threatening. If I saw him walking down a dark alley, I’d go right up and ask if he needed help finding his way home.

What I do really like is how all the Authority stories are dovetailing into each other. A faction working together for their own betterment is great, even if I think THE DEMON KANE is a big pile of useless. It builds from the previous stories, even without Daniel Bryan (more surgery? ::SOB::). Seeds are being planted for future stories, which is always a positive. I’m jazzed about where we’re heading, even if Jorts is our Champion.

Random Thoughts

  • All about the guy in the Viking helmet in the front row. We need more people just walking the Earth in these things.
  • I got a real excited for a few minutes thinking that we were going to get a new show on the Network about factions, but it’s just a new DVD. I think that’s one of those topics that’s rich enough they could do a whole series on it.
  • Renee dropped a Fresh Prince reference on us. She continues to be great.
  • I’d like Cena a lot more if he had a different way of setting up the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Just a little variation can go a long way.
  • From me to you, WWE: Exclusive ikĖˆsklo͞osiv/ noun: exclusive; plural noun: exclusives 1. an item or story published or broadcast by only one source.