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1. Tim Howard (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Howard was pretty much the only reason the United States Men's National Team took Belgium to extra time in the World Cup knockout round. His 16 saves are a World Cup record, and he proved that he could pretty much save everything. Ned Stark's head? Tim Howard could've saved that. The InVasion angle? Yup, Howard would have saved it. YOUR PARENTS' MARRIAGE? I'm not sure Howard could have saved that one, but he sure would have saved your psyche by reassuring you that it was certainly not your fault.
2. Santino Marella (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Marella announced his retirement at a house show this past weekend. His recent work may have been enough to dismiss him from memory, but I still think back to the time he and Vladimir Kozlov tried to make peace with Sheamus by hosting a tea party for him in England, and I smile. I am playing the invisible trombone for the man who gave the world the Honk-a-Meter today.
3. AJ Lee (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Surprise! Lee's return to RAW was pretty much a shock, mainly because all the "sheetz" thought she was pregnant or something. As fate would have it, she just took some time off to enjoy her honeymoon. I look forward to her and Paige showing everyone how it's done once they get to have more than five minutes in a cooldown segment.
4. Paige (Last Week: 2) - Speaking of Paige, she should probably know by now that wrestling, like a lot of other forms of entertainment/arts, tends to be symmetrical in catharsis. She'll bounce back, and Paige and Lee will have rad matches along as Kevin Dunn is hogtied and gagged when the grownups backstage discuss the course of action with which to take it.
5. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 9) - He's gotten so big in WWE that he's getting dedications from Bo Dallas. What a lucky guy!
6. Vickie Guerrero (Last Week: 1) - I don't know how she spent her first week of non-WWE life, but hopefully, it didn't involve getting recoil fears of having gravy or Jell-o or pudding dumped on her out of humiliation.
7. The Rooster Soup Co./Federal Donuts (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Kickstarters are a fickle thing for me, but Rooster Soup Co., which is a project backed by the same people who have rocked Philly's house by selling donuts AND fried chicken in the same store in Federal Donuts, hits a soft spot for me. I've had a tureen-sized hole in my heart since Doc's closed sometime last year. No soup, no peace. Well, not only is the Rooster Soup Co. gonna fill that void again, but it's going to do it charitably as well. Can't beat that.
8. Zack Danger Brown (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Speaking of Kickstarter, if you're going to abuse the service, you might as well go big. Hopefully, this guy, who got 100,000% of his stated goal for making potato salad, will make enough to share with the rest of the country.
9. Mark Henry (Last Week: 5) - Henry bought a ticket to Brazil last night and was rumored to have been fitted for a soccer kit. I'm not saying he's the one who's going to replace Neymar on the Brazilian side, but I'm not saying that the host country's officials didn't ram through his Brazilian citizenship and naturalization just to get him on the team and unleash the HALL OF PAIN on the Germans.
10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: Her favorite animals at the zoo are capybaras because they are graceful swimmers.