Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Dispatches from the Lake: Ineffective Power Up Dancing

DIVA CLASH kicked off Superstars this week
Photo Credit:
Superstars kicked off last week with Emma vs. Alicia Fox. I really liked this match. It was sloppy in spots, but they busted out some cool moves. They also wrestle as their characters, which I really enjoyed. Fox doesn’t stop being a hyper narcissistic maniac when the bell rings. You can see it in all her moves. Same with Emma. She walks down to the ring as a dancing weirdo, and leaves the same way. Her power up dancing is just great. I’m going to start doing it before I’ve got something heavy to lift. It didn’t help Emma win, though. Fox killed her with a scissor kick and pinned her.

How can you not be happy with the state of the Women’s division right now? They actually have storylines, and the wrestling is a ton better than it was when I started watching regularly again back in 2011. Let’s just teach Justin Roberts how to say Diva and toss the butterfly belt and we’ll be in business. Keep improving; we’re moving in the right direction.

Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel was the second match of the evening. They mentioned NXT, acknowledging that Sin Cara’s in the tag tournament they have going on right now. They should mention it more. That’s a key selling point for the Network. It’s little stuff with the commentating that would go a long way, like when Gabriel grabbed Sin Cara’s arm and hooked the leg when Gabriel pinned him close to the ropes. Just a little mention of what he was doing would really add that extra salt to spice it up.

This match was just meh. There was some neat stuff, like Sin Cara’s flip onto the apron early in the match, but for a match that was hyped as being between two high fliers, I didn’t get much high flying. I really like the idea of Sin Cara’s C4 from the top rope, but it takes FOREVER to set up. It slows down the match and looks really unnatural. He hit that for the win over Gabriel.

The Recaps of Madison County

I enjoyed the desperation in John Cena’s voice during his segment. I could just be imagining it, but it makes this story more compelling. And god damn, we need something to make John Cena overcomes the odds Chapter 51,874 compelling. I’ve been crazy down on it since Cena came out that one RAW, was totally uninjured from the Brock Lesnar fight, and showed how powerful and great he was by decimating Bray Wyatt.

I hope all this Cena ruthless aggression shit leads up to him being destroyed again at Night of Champions. WWE can’t be stupid enough to put the belt back on him. They can’t be. Though, they did feed the Wyatts to Cena, so the company can be pretty fucking stupid. But can you imagine a contemplative, shaken Cena after failing to beat Lesnar? A story about him dealing with the fact that he’s not king shit of the mountain anymore could be really interesting. Join me in holding your breath for that one, won’t you?

The Bella Twins business is another story. I’m pleased that it’s an attempt at a deep story for the women’s division, but Brie Bella’s got to do something besides not be able to fake cry. I’m sure she has some valid talking points. Stop making scrunch faces in an attempt to get tears to leak out of your eyes and fire back with something, girl! Nikki Bella’s burning you on the microphone and you’re just standing there in a really stupid shirt. Biggest thing? This is all fallout from events that happened over a month ago. THIS IS A HUGE STEP FORWARD. Not every story you tell needs to be built on past events. I’m not looking for Chikara levels of continuity here, but the WWE audience is capable of following a long form narrative.

Or, they can just keep replaying Nikki Bella hitting Jerry Lawler in the face over and over. I’d be cool with that too.

Random Thoughts
  • I had a complaint here about the commentary not calling the matches, but what’s the point? You know it, gentle reader, and I know it, so let’s just stop screaming at that brick wall.
  • Is the Highlight Reel really the most controversial show in WWE history? And why does everything have to be the most _____ in history? We’re not stupid. We know when moments are important.
  • If you’re going to smoke up before you head out to the ring, Chris Jericho, might want to hit your eyes with some Visine.
  • Commercials during matches on pre-recorded shows are the dumbest thing ever.
  • Anyone else annoyed that they don’t acknowledge Cena and Nikki Bella’s relationship? I mean, Total Divas is cannon, right