Monday, September 29, 2014

Fan Fiction Book Report: Celebrating Christmas With the Wyatts

They like Christmas, who knew!
Photo Credit:
We’re back with another edition of the Fan Fiction Book Report. It has been a few weeks since we did the first one. I’ve been busy, but I hope to do more. For this edition, we head back to the Fan Fiction dot net headquarters and bring you a short story (a flash fiction to be exact) about the Wyatt Family. The story is called “A Very Wyatt Christmas.”

The story starts off on Christmas Day at the dinner table, presumably outside in some Louisiana forest somewhere. The film crew for Southern Comfort probably wasn’t far away.

After Bray Wyatt stared at his colleagues, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan, he immediately got up and walked to the cabinets, therefore ruining my setting narrative by suggesting this story take place indoors. Wyatt took boxes out of the cabinet and handed them to his partners in crime. Both Harper and Rowan were surprised by this. Harper though Wyatt hated Christmas. It turned out he doesn’t. Actually, he still hates Christmas, but didn’t want to deny a chance to give a gift to his two most favorite people in the world.

Who loves Christmas? Why Erick Rowan does! He was so excited that he pulled out two newspaper-wrapped gifts from underneath the table. Bray opened his gift and finds out he received a preserved cicada. Luke meanwhile received a mason jar filled with some weird liquid and a bald baby doll floating inside. Both men thank Rowan, who tried on his new pajamas, but forgot to close the trap door, leading to butt jokes. Wyatt cracked a joke about Rowan “already making an ass of himself.” Rowan was disappointed, but Wyatt cheered him up and said he might buy pajamas for Harper next year.

And...that’s it? That’s the whole story?

I might have hoped too much for a Wyatt Family-Southern Comfort crossover. Get on that, Walter Hill! The world (probably) needs this to happen.