Monday, September 22, 2014

Smackdown: Friendship is Magic

Bad Bunny, bad friend
Photo Credit:
Most Stable Friendships—Jimmy and Jey Uso, and Goldust and Stardust
The tag match between the Usos and the Dust Bros. was over before I had fully realized it was even happening, but as far as I'm aware nothing untoward happened to threaten the stability of either team. In fact, I'm putting the Usos' apparently fully healed injuries down to the power of friendship.

Should Be More Than Friends—Sheamus and Cesaro
At this point, I'm not even the only one who has noticed that Sheamus and Cesaro's interactions have a flirtatious tinge. And seriously—Sheamus kneeling with the US championship in front of him and beckoning to Cesaro while the latter faces him, stretched out in the ring? They're just blatantly trolling me now. As expected, the powers that be are probably going to run the “R-Truth is Dolph Ziggler's double!” gag into the ground, but other than that Ziggler and Sheamus' match against the Miz and Cesaro was probably my favourite of the night. It was hardly a fresh match-up, but everyone looked great. One million bonus points to Damien Sandow for not only putting Miz's discarded sunglasses on over his own, but also for clutching his own chest as if in pain while Miz was being beaten by Sheamus. Damien Sandow is too good for this world.

Does Not Deserve a Friend—The Bunny
Adam Rose had a match against Heath Slater and the Exotic Express' resident rabbit once again got involved, attacking Titus O'Neil at ringside for no good reason. I've said before that I don't find the bunny's antics amusing, and I'll say it again: Fuck off, bunny. Also, costumes that obscure the wearer's face are so creepy. Why would anyone want to hang out with that thing?

Most Unexpected Friendship—Big Show and Los Matadores
Los Matadores showed up to help Big Show take on Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, and Erick Rowan. It was nice to Los Matadores. I've never been a huge fan, but we haven't seen them for a while and, on a purely aesthetic note, I appreciated their bright apparel. The match was pretty fun too.

Should Be Friends—Paige and AJ Lee
First of all, everything surrounding the women's match was streets ahead of the mess last week (and most weeks, come to think of it). Paige and Nikki Bella had a good, decently long match that showcased an aggressive and (dare I say it?) entertaining Bella. AJ Lee was on guest commentary again, but the menfolk hardly spoke to her at all (a vast improvement). All in all, this was a great way to illustrate that Paige and Lee are only shooting themselves in the feet by focusing their enmity on each other and ignoring Nikki Bella. If Paige and Lee don't work something out and realize that they need to stop messing around, the title that they both hold so dear could very well be in the hands of an Authority stooge by the time you all read this. (Ed. Note: This scenario did not play out, although if WWE had decent storytellers in Creative, maybe it would/should have...)

Probably Going to be Friends and I'll Just Have to Deal with It—Bo Dallas and Jack Swagger
This time around, Bo Dallas taunted Jack Swagger by stating that if the latter isn't careful, he's going to end up exactly like Zeb Colter, which may have struck a chord with Swagger (though it would be easier to tell if his face ever showed the slightest hint of emotion). If we keep going down this path of Dallas gradually recruiting Swagger...whatever. I'll deal with it, but I probably won't like it.

Worst Friend—Mark Henry
Rusev and Roman Reigns had a perfectly passable match that ended when Rollins interfered. After he and Reigns brawled into the crowd, Mark Henry showed up to humiliate and confront the Russians. And this is my problem with these hyper-patriotic feuds—yes, Lana and Rusev looked like smug jerks for celebrating a win achieved via disqualification, and I don't doubt that they are truly villainous villains. However, it was pretty shitty for Mark Henry to show up and attempt to physically confront Rusev after Rusev had just had a taxing match (in fact, due to Reigns' continued inability to show that he's taken any damage, Rusev looked far worse off than his opponent) and then been caught between two men who want to murder each other.

I mean, confronting an injured enemy when you are fresh as a daisy? That's how you want to represent your country? Not very sporting. How could I possibly be angry at Rusev for then defending himself? Rusev was tired and hurt, yet still found fire enough within himself to fight back, and that's way more admirable than Henry ending up standing tall at the end of the show. You've got terrible taste in friends, America. (and this is all very painful for me, because I actually love Mark Henry)