|Sexy all over|
Photo via Bryce Remsburg's Instagram
1. Bryce Remsburg (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Look at the above picture. No one parties that hard with Rockstar Spud without getting some dap.
2. AJ Lee (Last Week: 3) - The silver lining in the massive amount of CM Punk chants is that each one brings her closer to her limit break. When she goes into Trance, she will unleash METEORAIN and pretty much turn Chicago into a crater. THAT'S FOR TRYING TO PASS OFF TOMATO CASSEROLE AS PIZZA, JERKS.
3. @GEAUX_SAL (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - The little-known LSU booster came out of NOWHERE and ate 25 tacos for this year's #DoLoThroDo. His total bested the record (set by @PhilKenSaban last year) by four, which makes him the Barry Bonds of the Throwdown. Or would that make him Roger Maris? Mark McGwire? I don't know. Either way, 25 tacos is impressive, even if I'm pretty sure Sal will retain so much water that he could make it across the Sahara with no pit stops.
4. Paige (Last Week: 5) - She got someone to get her logo tattooed on his ass. I don't know if I think that's creepy or awesome.
5. Mark Henry (Last Week: 9) - Honestly, if he had called JBL a puppet and beat the shit out of him instead of taking the heat on RAW, he might have been number one in perpetuity.
6. Dean Ambrose (Last Week: 1) - I would have had him a lot higher if he didn't get his shit tangled in with John Cena. Cena makes everything that isn't a high-profile wrestling match worse.
7. Jim Thome (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Did you know Derek Jeter retired this week? I understand if you didn't since only 325 million of this country's 330 million people were talking about it. But in case you didn't know, Jeter was good, but you know who was better? Jim Thome! Thome's wins above replacement (WAR) were actually higher than Jeter's if you look at Baseball Reference, and although his Fangraphs WAR were slightly lower, Jeter had the benefit of 2000 more plate appearances. And if you say that Jeter won more World Series, well, Thome won more home run titles, one in each league. If your argument is that Jeter wasn't a power hitter, well, Thome didn't play for the New York fucking Yankees. My point? Jim Thome deserves your praise too, especially since he was better than Jeter.
8. Lucy Lawless (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Talk about your ultra troll moves, Lawless signed on for Agents of SHIELD as a guest role, one that was talked up a whole lot, and BOOM, she died in the first episode. Major troll move.
9. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 8) - The hot RUMOR this week is that Vince McMahon hates the show Total Divas and won't let anyone who appears on it win the Divas Championship, which is a striking blow to Bryan's bid to win ALL THE TITLES in the company when he returns.
10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: She doesn't need to be embarrassed by her significant other getting chants at RAW because he never left the company.