Photo Credit: WWE.com
1. Paige (Last Week: 7) - I didn't think she'd have it in her, but she broke out the Michael Mizanin Memorial Big Swing Headfirst into the Barricade on AJ Lee last night at Hell in a Cell, which cemented her in this spot at least for a week. Who cares if she didn't win...
2. AJ Lee (Last Week: 5) - Lee escaped with the Championship, of course, but even though she got her dome rocked, she was able to do so with style. Even I want to rock her new top.
3. Dean Ambrose (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The Master of Titties needed three Authority goons and BRAY WYATT HOLOGRAMS OUTTA NOWHERE to take him out of Hell in the Cell. Although I had to dock points for not following through on his promise that everyone was going to die. Bad form.
4. Tortas (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Why isn't every day torta day?
5. Nicole Matthews (Last Week: 1) - As a follow-up act, Matthews is planning on letting a frog loose in Australia's ecosystem. SHE WON'T STOP UNTIL EVERYTHING MADISON EAGLES LOVES IS AT LEAST MILDLY INCONVENIENCED.
6. Michael Elgin on Twitter Only (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Michael Elgin in the ring is a boring slog, but the dude is working some Andy Kaufman-level shit on Twitter. Seriously, how can anyone see this tweet and not think it some performance art?
7. Corgi Puppy I Pet Today (Last Week: Not Ranked) - I PET A CORGI PUPPY TODAY IT WAS SO SMALL AND CUTE AND IT TRIED TO BITE ME WITH ITS STUBBY PUPPY TEETH OMG I AM SO HAPPYYYYYYYYYY.
8. R-Truth (Last Week: Not Ranked) - He has to get some mention for singlehandedly saving tens of thousands of Network subs last night.
9. Mark Henry (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Henry dispatched Bo Dallas so quickly on the preshow that the oil splatter on the canvas Dallas left had time to materialize before Henry's music started playing.
10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: As punishment for coming up short on her suicide dive, she gave Brie Bella fifty lashes with pre-chewed gum. The act hurt del Rey just as much as it did Bella.