|Not only is he deadly with his elbows, he'll beat you with a boot too|
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
1. Chris Hero (Last Week: Not Ranked) - AT the Five Boroughs Wrestling show on Friday night, Hero wrestled Drew Gulak, and at one point during the match, beat Gulak with his boot. I ain't even mad. That move is some next-level grumpy old man shit. Hero may be the closest thing the indie scene will ever get to an American Tenryu, and it'll be fabulous once he becomes fully actualized in his curmudgeonly glory.
2. Sasha Banks (Last Week: 1) - She named her team with Becky Lynch BAE. Best. At. Everything. ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US.
3. Falafel (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Middle-Eastern cuisine has become one of my staples over the years, mainly because falafel is so goddamn tasty. It's crunchy, earthy, and it pairs well with the herby and spicy harif sauce that you can find at most joints. Highly recommend.
4. Becky Lynch (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Not only is she one of the best wrestlers in the world with a vast and rich resume that stretches three continents, her hype-man swag levels are off the charts. I mean, did you see her pumping up Banks in the background and around ringside? She could get a crowd fired up for the fuckin' Icy Hot Stuntaz.
5. Aaron Rodgers (Last Week: 7) - Y'know, I could be all bitter about his absolute ownership of the Eagles, but then I'd just be getting way too serious about sports again. I can't hate on the best quarterback in the NFL right now. Just can't.
6. Heidi Lovelace (Last Week: 8) - Sure, Missile Assault Ant may have sent a message by defeating Lovelace's friendly rival Kimber Lee in somewhat short order, but Lovelace replied by doing this. OOH.
7. Grumpy Cat (Last Week: Not Ranked) - I'm not down at all on Grumpy Cat's appearance on RAW tonight, mainly because I'm holding out hope that I can say super cool and my weird celebrity crush Aubrey Plaza was once on RAW. Also, everyone is dying for the Tyson Kidd segment, but I think I'd rather see the Cat come out to "Somebody Call My Mama" and do a karate demonstration with Ernest Miller.
8. Karl Stefanovic (Last Week: Not Ranked) - He wore the same suit every day for a year to prove a point about sexism, and judging by what he observed, hoo boy, he did prove it. But no, "misandry" isn't some imaginary thing and is the real problem. Right.
9. Mark Henry (Last Week: 5) - I'm not sure what he was doing with that Dolph Ziggler match on Monday, but I'm sure he went back to his hotel and beat the shit out of the Big Show, just to keep appearances up.
10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: She celebrated her birthday by allowing Alexa Bliss to start having some offense. She's a magnanimous teacher.