Monday, November 24, 2014

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, November 24

Sasha Banks, hype as a wrestler AND a manager
Photo Credit:
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Sasha Banks (Last Week: 2) - She returned the favor for Becky Lynch as her hype-man this week, and she compelled her to win WITH THE POWER OF SATAN. ONE OF US! ONE OF US!

2. Odell Beckham, Jr. (Last Week: Not Ranked) - He's not human. He's not human. He's from Asgard. He's gotta be.

3. Bayley (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Certain things are inalienable. You are born. You die. You pay taxes. And Bayley's gonna hug you. Charlotte found out. You will too.

4. Heidi Lovelace (Last Week: 6) - I heard she's concentrating on training for her Young Lions Cup final by taking magnifying glasses to ant hills. Also, by doing Hindu squats and other major calisthenics. What, she's not stupid.

5. Stardust (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Stardust is clearly in possession of a Red Power Ring, and is the new Red Lantern for the Earth sector. The question is, when will he acquire the other six power rings and become the WHITE LANTERN WWE was destined to have?

6. Naomi (Last Week: Not Ranked) - MY HEAD hurt after seeing her give Paige that headscissor driver last night. Holy shit.

7. Grumpy Cat (Last Week: 7) - See, I told you Grumpy Cat was gonna be awesome last week.

8. Turkey (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - The quintessential Thanksgiving meat has come under fire lately, especially from one Chrissy Tiegen. Look, normally, I ride for the supermodel/Twitter maven, but she's dead wrong about turkey. DEAD. WRONG.

9. Mark Henry (Last Week: 9) - It's alright, guys, it was all Triple H's fault.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: She gained the ability to warg, which is why Cameron looked unoffensive last night.