Thursday, November 6, 2014

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 99

Charlotte in the Rumble? Why the heck not?
Photo Credit:
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday morning (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

I think NXT entrants in the Rumble are safe to assume going forward until NXT ceases to be a thing. Furthermore, WWE may place more than one developmental talent in the Rumble this year if rumors of it going to 40 participants in order to erase from the record books the VILE NAME OF ALBERTO DEL RIO WHOSE CRIME WAS, uh, standing up against a gross racist who got fired afterwards, anyway are true. Anyway, I'm assuming this week's Main Event was Sami Zayn's main roster debut until I watch it and see whether or not it was just another NXT refresher teaser like the one WWE booked on RAW right before 2akeover, so he's out. With that in mind, the smart money would be on Adrian Neville getting the nod, especially if he happens to lose The Big X at Tak3over to the aforementioned Zayn. Really, what else remains for Neville to accomplish down there at Full Sail?

However, Neville wouldn't be my pick for the Rumble spot, or at least the only Rumble spot. Again, I book these things with my idealistic mind working overtime, and if I were in WWE, I would be working to drag it kicking and screaming past the 21st Century into a hypothetical future where gender really isn't a big deal anymore. I find no reason past cosmetics why Charlotte shouldn't be in the Rumble and get treatment commensurate to her size and ring style that Rusev got in the match this past year, i.e. maybe she doesn't eliminate someone, but her showing dictates that she belonged there.

I say that I'm too into Pokemon X to do another parallel game, but everyone knows full well that I'll at least play through the Hoenn region remade. Honestly though, I am torn between two of the three starters when I finally get one of the Gen III remakes. Usually, I pick the Grass-type starter, which in this case would be Treecko. I picked Treecko when I played through the original Gen III games, and it's my second-favorite among the Grass starters behind the sacred and beloved Bulbasaur. However, if I play through more than one game in a given Gen, I tend to switch it up for the second game, and really, Mudkip is by far my favorite Water-starter. It evolves into the Water/Ground-type Swampert, and I have a soft-spot for the Mud-types. So the only concrete answer I can give right now is "Not Torchic."

  1. Cup of coffee, ooh yeah
  2. Hard times, daddy
  3. You either tap or you snap
Obviously, if you want to bring back the Nexus, you want it as a vehicle for Wade Barrett. The problem is one of the former members, Daniel Bryan, has already eclipsed the current Bad News a billion times over. Besides, he already broke his ties (no pun intended) with the Nexus way back at SummerSlam 2010, when he came back to WWE, tapped two members with the YES! Lock, and then went onto become the biggest fuckin' deal in all pro wrestling.

Another former member, Ryback, has the potential to be huge in his own right at the current time and without the need for his former group helping him. But Barrett recruiting him as muscle is a good jump-on point for a big feud between the two. Barrett is one of the few guys on the roster who seems like he can carry a bigtime match as a heel, and both wrestlers need signature rivals to stand out in this era, especially against the backdrop of Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins, John Cena vs. CM Punk, and Triple H and Stephanie McMahon vs. smart-ass fans of Twitter. I would have a quick trigger finger on booting Ryback from the group, maybe have the deed happen the night after the Rumble when he refuses to clear the ring for Barrett, and then build towards a Mania match that way.

Sorry, he comes at $7.99/lb, or if you want bulk, $500/100 lbs.

Protected user @MrsKillerRoo:
@tholzerman Favorite Phillie of all time. Can be past or present, but not a minor leaguer. #TweetBag
I could choose Mike Schmidt or Jimmy Rollins or Darren Daulton or Lenny Dykstra or Cole Hamels or Chase Utley. But man, I will always, ALWAYS have a soft spot for The Gimp. Pat "The Bat" Burrell, bane of Mets fans, he of inconsistent yet powerful stroke, got a bad rep because of his propensity to alternate between on and off years. However, he never posted a negative bWAR until after 2008, and I'm not sure the Phillies could have made the playoffs without his 33 homers in the World Series year, let alone won it all.

I have zero expectation, because I have not sat down and watched a complete New  Japan show ever. I've seen spot matches here or there from a couple of years ago, but if I end up tuning in, I will be doing so with a rasa tabula. If you're asking what my expectation of its reception is, however, I think its ceiling at this point would be TNA's old pay-per-view audience, give or take 10K. The NJPW brand name is strong, but is it enough in America to get people to watch en masse? Eventually, I can see WrestleKingdom as a Global Force Wrestling branded event doing some good business in America, but I think both entities need to grow their presence here first.

I'm not their marketing department, and really, the week-to-week product borders on suck every Monday. Get someone else to sell you.

I have not, but it is only because I fear I have not the fortitudination to amblimate down the righteousing path of the Warrior. Plus, I don't think my body can handle the drugs, man.

You not getting that raft is, by far, the greatest injustice in pro wrestling history. The problem is now availability. You were denied the raft back when they were in stock in the WCW warehouse. Do you think Vince McMahon kept them when he bought the company? DO YOU? If he did, they're all at his Connecticut home, for use by his grandchildren when they come over for pool parties. Aurora Rose Levesque has YOUR INFLATABLE RAFT. I don't think Hulk Hogan is the one you need to be mad at here. I think you need to get to the Nutmeg State and kick some McMahon-Helmsley ASS.

It's the Second Oldest Pay-Per-View in WWE History™, and this year, it's #FreeFreeFree because Vince McMahon hired his marketing department from Friends Hospital as a rib on everyone else in the company WWE Network is the future and you need to see it for free!

Easy. Muta's facepaint is the answer 11 times out of ten. Masks are cool until you have to get behind the wheel of a car. Your vision gets impaired way too easily. Of course, you'd have to crank up the air conditioner to make sure your paint doesn't drip into your eyes by sweat, even in the coldest of temps, but at the same time, at least you have a safe point for your vision.

  • SCOTT CONANT - Because I want to see his stupid face get punched.
  • GEOFFREY ZAKARIAN - Because I want to see his stupid face get punched.
  • CHRIS SANTOS - Because I want to see his stupid face get punched.
  • MARCUS SAMUELSSON - Because I want to see his stupid face get punched.
  • AARON SANCHEZ - AARON SANCHEZ TATTED UP. AARON SANCHEZ A HARD MOTHERFUCKER. Er, I mean, I'd like to see him unleashed in the squared circle. He seems like he'd be a tour de force.
I would face them off against a team of Ryback, Mark Henry, Big Show, The Demon Kane™, and Brock Lesnar. Lesnar would also order his Jimmy John's sandwich with extra red onions and then shove it down Conant's throat in addition to punching his stupid face. I have unchecked rage issues, don't I? Anyway, Sanchez is your sole survivor after he hits BEAST MODE and eliminates everyone. Then he celebrates by making a mole sauce, which as he is quick to remind you on the show, does not necessarily have to contain chocolate.
Toph Beifong from Avatar: The Last Airbender/The Legend of Korra is the easy choice. Her story would be inspirational - she's a blind girl who moves around better than those who can see because of her amazing abilities. However, she'd be a natural heel because of her quick wit and sharp tongue. Plus, she also has an in in the business with Mick Foley. However, I think certain concessions should be made to allow her to use her earthbending in more than a sight capacity.

Nope. In fact, the demarcation point should probably be between getting the cheapest tickets and getting a really fuckin' good seat. Anywhere between the second level and the nosebleeds feels like it would be all the same to me. Now, I'm not sure about the sightlines at the new Niners' stadium, but in general, the big stadia tend to be the same. If you're not getting front row or somewhere reasonably close to it, you might as well get nosebleeds.

One of NXT's biggest flaws is that outside the main narrative, other stories tend to stall out. If you're not one of Trips' golden children (and thankfully for the fans at large, those golden children are named Owens, Zayn, Neville, Balor, Itami, Banks, Bayley, Charlotte, and Lynch), you might have some trouble getting meaningful time on the show. Sure, Corbin squashing fools is a sight to watch, but where will he go from that point? The bigger question, actually, may be how long will it take him to get from phase one to phase two?

Look at Bull Dempsey. He's stalled mightily, and it's not because the crowds, as skewed as they are at Full Sail, have cooled on him. So, he may be "stuck" so to speak either squashing dudes on the reg until the International Indie Brigade is fully on the main roster, or maybe he'll end up losing unceremoniously as a sacrifice to that cadre of wrestlers before being forgotten. Or he could be brought up tomorrow and have his narrative told on the main roster. Baron Corbin right now may be the hardest wrestler with an upside to predict because so little has been done with him so far.

As for the Ascension, I'm not even sure they will debut as the replacements for Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. If they are, then they wouldn't necessarily just be Wyatt's muscle. They would help evolve the Eater of Worlds to a more slickly produced, sheenier, less backwoods kind of occult. But even if they're just brought up as "tag team that randomly attacks the Usos," I think they'll be just fine. I liked what I've seen from them in the limited longer bouts they've had. Viktor is main roster-ready right now, and Konor will get there if he's not there already working in prolonged bouts against the Usos or the Dust Bros.

The first one that comes to mind is The Hart Family (Bret, Owen, Bruce, and Keith) against Shawn Michaels and his Knights. Jerry Lawler was originally supposed to captain the Knight team (hence the motif), but he had to miss the event because at the time, he was charged with rape (charges that would be thrown out after the alleged victim confessed to making up the accusations). The match was both taut and goofy at the same time. Michaels showed he could do the stooge comic heel thing in addition to being Mr. Wrestling Dude. Plus, one of the knights was Greg "The Hammer" Valentine.

The second one to seek out is one that I haven't seen, but given the weird but welcome propensity for the mid-'90s WWF to treat women's wrestling with deference and respect, I would feel good about recommending the joshi elimination match from 1995. Bertha Faye, Aja Kong, Tomoko Watanabe, and Lioness Asuka took on Alundra Blayze, Chaparita Asari, Kyoko Inoue, and Sakie Hasegawa. This match was famous for setting up Kong as a challenger to Blayze's WWF Women's Championship, but that match never happened thanks to Blayze jumping ship and dumping the title on Nitro before the scheduled match at the Royal Rumble. Either way, that many joshi powerhouses in one match seems like one to watch, even if it's just for historical curiosity.

Finally, Team Kingston (Kofi Kingston, Christian, MVP, Mark Henry, R-Truth) vs. Team Orton (Randy Orton, CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, Ted DiBiase, Jr., William Regal) at Survivor Series 2009 stands out. Despite the fact that the final seven or so minutes had Kingston working in a glorified handicap match, he held his own. OF course, working against Punk and even 2009, pre-Super Worker™ Orton will help matters out, but it felt like Kingston was a big deal here. Of course, everyone knows how that feeling fizzled out, but it was nice for a time to believe WWE was going to push someone exciting to the top in the stagnant, pre-Pipe Bomb days.