Monday, December 1, 2014

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, December 1

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Team Tremendous (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Dan Barry and Bill Carr may have won the third Tournament for Tomorrow, BUT WHEN WILL THEY FINALLY FIND MY SON????

2. Sasha Banks (Last Week: 1) - Look, all she's doing is showing Bayley some tough love, that's all.

3. Heidi Lovelace (Last Week: 4) - Her epic encounter with Missile (!) Assault (!) Ant (!) is nigh, and things look bleak with the Flood circling the wagons around its competitors. Additionally, her plans to bring a can of RAID with her backfired when she realized blowback might end up hitting the GOOD wrestling ants. However, I have faith she can bring the Young Lions Cup home to the side of good.

4. Grumpy Cat (Last Week: 7) - So I went to see Mockingjay, Pt. 1 last week, and the pre-trailer trailer featured Aubrey Plaza getting into her role as the voice of Grumpy Cat. I really have nothing else to add here except that my impossible celebrity crush on Plaza was not abated.

5. Turkey (Last Week: 8) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - The best thing about turkey is the sheer amount of leftovers one can gain, which means leftovers sandwiches! Turkey tetrazzini! TURKEY POT PIE!

6. Fletcher Cox (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Cox led an Eagles defense that made the Cowboys shit out turkey bones on Thanksgiving in their own house. Cox spent so much time in the Dallas backfield that Jerry Jones tried to sign him to back up DeMarco Murray, who was held to under 100 yards for only the second time all year and under four yards a carry for the first time this season.

7. Mark Henry (Last Week: 9) - Well, at least he didn't have to work concessions, or else everyone would've gotten mustard on them.

8. Bayley (Last Week: 3) - Look, I know Charlotte told her not to jump in BAE's face last week, but just because Bayley's bubbly and friendly doesn't mean she's a complete pushover. Gotta stand up for yourself.


10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: She turns her Thanksgiving leftovers into chewing gum so she can have the flavor all year long.