Thursday, April 2, 2015

The 2015 TWB Tournament of Champions, Sweet 16: ECW and WCW Regions

Will Flair be as successful in the tournament as he was here against the Mastodon?
Photo Credit:
The first half of the Sweet 16 is in the books, and the winners from yesterday's action are Randy Savage, Steve Austin, Kurt Angle, and AJ Styles. Today, the second half of the regional semifinal matches are in play in the ECW and WCW regions. It's all late '90s Big Three action from here, non-WWE division.

ECW: 1. Raven vs. 4. Terry Funk, SCOUTING REPORT
RAVEN - Raven is a tough nut to crack because his attack is so layered. He's smarter than the average MENSA member, let alone wrestler, so he knows what you're gonna do before you're gonna do it. But he can also get down and dirty with the roughest and most tumble brawlers in the world. And if all else fails, he has any number of cronies and lackeys waiting in the wings to give him the assist. If you're preparing for Raven, you need to prepare for the Flock as well.

FUNK - Terry Funk is a goddamn legend, and he didn't get to his 70s still active in the ring without being tougher than a two-dollar steak. If you punch him, you'd better be prepared to do it again, because his upbringing on the Double Cross Ranch has allowed him to grow a thicker skin than the steer his family raises there. On offense, he's hell with a punch, but watch out most for his legendary spinning toe hold. If you get caught in that hold, you're not walking right for the next week.

14. Bam Bam Bigelow vs. 2. Sandman, SCOUTING REPORT
BIGELOW - The agile HOSS category of wrestler begins with Bigelow. If you think you can land a few punches or wrangle him for a big move because he's slow, think again. He'll whip away quicker than a hiccup and then land a surprise bomb with his favorite weapon, his bald, tattooed skull. No one utilized the headbutt better than Bam Bam, and once he's gotten you dazed and confused with a few shots, he'll finish you with the Greetings from Asbury Park.

SANDMAN - Sandman may not have ever been sober for a wrestling match, which makes his prowess in the ring even more extraordinary. The more Budweisers he consumes, the more focused and brutal he tends to be, especially if he's got his trusty Singapore cane in his hand. Not only does he know how to whack a man with the weapon, but he's a master at implementing it in wrestling holds, like his signature White Russian leg sweep.

WCW: 1. Ric Flair vs. 5. Big Van Vader, SCOUTING REPORT
FLAIR - WOO! Does a more gifted technical master exist? OF course one does! Flair's not the best at trading holds. However, he's good enough to get by and is dirty enough to be able to outwit the most proficient mat generals in the world. The man didn't get the name "Dirtiest Player in the Game" because he never showered. His styling and profiling may give off the aura that he doesn't care, but once your guard is down, that's when he peppers your chest with stiff knife-edge chops.

VADER - One word describes Vader perfectly - reckless. He charges into battle with fists wailing and nostrils flared, daring his opponents to land their best shots. The thing is few of them ever do because Vader's attack is so lethal. If it's not his fists, it's using his massive frame to crash down on you. And if that's not impressive enough, he can do a goddamn moonsault.

6. Goldberg vs. 2. Sting, SCOUTING REPORT
GOLDBERG - The Man didn't get to 173-0 by the skin of his teeth. He's a wrecking ball of a man who runs at really fast speeds, using the scientific principle of momentum to knock bones in his foes loose. Dodging his attacks is easier said than done, and once he hits you with one high-energy attack, you're already on your way to spear/jackhammer city.

STING - Sting may not be the smartest wrestler, but he could be the most resilient. In his first main event, he went 60 minutes with Ric Flair at time when the Nature Boy spat out jabronis at a regular clip. He may be easy to betray, but he'll never stop fighting until he gets what he wants, and usually, that means you on the business end of a Scorpion Death Drop.

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