Thursday, June 11, 2015

I Listen So You Don't Have To: The Ross Report, Ep. 69

Cornette was on the JR Podcast this week
If you're new, here's the rundown: I listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are better wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but these are the ones in my regular rotation that I feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If I can save other folks some time, I'm happy to do so.

Show: The Ross Report
Episode: 69 (June 10, 2015)
Run Time: 1:16:35
Guest: Kimbo Slice (9:26); Jim Cornette (22:08)

Summary: Ross and Slice talk for less than 10 minutes, and nearly every second is Slice promoting his SpikeTV fight against Ken Shamrock. Cornette’s second appearance on Ross’ show begins with reminiscing about the recently deceased Tommy Rogers. They talk a bit about working extended time off for wrestlers into the regular weekly schedule before a lengthy promotion of an upcoming NWA Legends event in Charlotte. Ross then abruptly switches topics to the rumors of Tammy Sytch agreeing to work in pornography. Ross asks Cornette to clarify his thoughts on Kevin Owens. Then they lament how hard it is to be a heel in 2015 and rant a bit about how certain moves are overused.

Quote of the week: Ross: “What do you make of Sunny thinking about doing porn?”
Cornette: “Well, you know, uh [nervous laughter], boy that one just came right up there. Um, well, it sounds like a lucrative offer. You know, I might take a hundred grand, but I’m not sure, I might have to do a little more tanning first before I —”
Ross: “Well, you know. Well If you need a good fluffer…”
Cornette: “But hey, she can’t be worse than Chyna was.”

Why you should listen: If you’ve been dying to hear Cornette try to add historical context to the recent flap about his take on Kevin Owens, well, he does his damndest to try. And if you have a pressing need to hear him take a sideswipe at the Young Bucks, if you wait long enough, you’ll get your wish. Beyond that, the best things I can say is the monologue is short and the total episode clocks in close to an hour shorter than usual.

Why you should skip it: I still don’t understand why Kimbo Slice was on the show. The brief speculation about the cause of Rogers’ death stains anything positive they have to say about his life, the Legends event pimping is more about Ross and Cornette congratulating each other for having long careers than anything else, the Sytch segment is flat out appalling and the heel/move ranting couldn’t be more played out. This episode should be melted in a toaster oven.

Final thoughts: When Cornette appeared on The Ross Report back in March (Episode 57), the kindest thing I wrote was “If you go in fearing the worst, you might be pleasantly surprised at how tolerable each guy is for the better part of the conversation.” By comparison, if you go into this fearing the worst, I think there’s a chance you’ll be surprised when it fails to meet even those low hopes. The best part truly is the fact it’s over quickly. For the love of all things you hold dear, please spend your time better than with this week’s show.