Friday, July 31, 2015

John Cena's Gonna Miss Some Time, Y'all

Cena's gonna miss some time thanks to some impromptu rhinoplasty
Photo Credit:
Thanks to the amateur nosejob Seth Rollins gave him on this past Monday's RAW, John Cena will be out for a few weeks at the very least. He needed emergency surgery after RAW to correct his breathing paths, and he's been pulled from WWE live events up to and including the August 10 episode of RAW (via WrestleChat). Any chance of seeing Cena drop the United States Championship will right now have to wait until the go-home RAW for SummerSlam on August 17, but even that date feels hairy at this point.

The feeling seems to be that Cena will be ready for SummerSlam, but as an easily-panicked pessimist of a wrestling fan, I'm wondering what the doomsday scenario is if Cena happens to need to miss the extravaganza from Brooklyn. WWE already has plans for the two next logical contenders to the title, Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar. Maybe Dean Ambrose can step in, since WWE seems non-committal in putting him in a program. One day, he's stanning for Reigns against the Wyatt Family, and another, he's playing the valiantly overmatched punch-drunk fool against Big Show.

Then again, Cena seems to have superhuman mutant healing powers. He seems to have come back from every single injury he's had in his career ahead of schedule, whether it be the torn pectoral muscle that led up to his surprise return at the 2008 Royal Rumble, or the triceps tear that took him out of action between SummerSlam and Hell in a Cell 2013. He'll probably be fine. Still, that injury suffered was pretty gnarly. At least he got to be in Trainwreck when he still had his good looks, eh?