Thursday, September 3, 2015

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 136

Are highways as parking lots in order for getting to Trios this weekend?
Photo via Wikipedia
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

I haven't seen or heard about lane closures on either I-76 or I-476 this weekend, to be honest. The Northeast Extension (I-476 north of the main Turnpike) has had ongoing construction, but that's usually inactive on the weekends. However, if you're coming from the Philadelphia area, you can take a few alternate routes that may be a bit out of the way but still effective in getting the job done. You can take PA-611 all the way up, which might be the least convenient but it'll get you closest to Easton on the eastern side of the state without having to get on US-22 or I-78. PA-309 also will get you there, and it runs kinda concurrently with I-476. If you don't mind going REALLY roundabout the route, however, you can always hit the Jersey Turnpike and take I-78 westbound from there, but you'd really be going out of your way.

How are you going to exclude those two and leave the absolute best answer in play? It's Kazuchika Okada, dawg.


At the time, it just seemed like a regular WWE fuck-up, because Punk was still bulletproof and at the peak of his creative oeuvre. However, in retrospect seeing how everything turned out? I struggle to think of anything WWE has done to screw up worse. Punk was a layup. He was a folk hero and an excellent counterweight to the corporately produced John Cena. They could have been Batman and the Joker. But WWE fucked up the Summer of Punk 2: PUNK HARDER, and then they further obfuscated his rise by clearly presenting him as a sideshow attraction to anything John Cena or The Rock were doing. WWE could have had another bona fide megastar on its hands. Instead, it pushed Punk away and tried diluting him at every turn.

It depends on what impact the person calling the match has. If that wrestler has the free reign to improvise, and the layout is terrible, then he/she should have blame heaped on him/her, but at the same time, bad matches aren't necessarily due to bad layout all the time, and if they are, it could depend on whether it's on the person calling it or the agent who laid it out. It's hard to give a hard and fast rule on what blame or credit should go to the match caller when that role isn't as defined, especially in modern graps.

Only the NXT Championship or the NXT Women's Championship should ever be defended on the main show, and Night of Champions is probably the best venue to hold a match for either title outside of WrestleMania. The NoC shot could be used as a carrot to dangle in front of the NXT roster AND it could be used as a way make that event feel more important than its B-pay-per-view status allows it to be.

The stock answers are either Shawn Michaels or the Young Bucks, but I think the key to having a great superkick is structure and control, which puts it in the court of the martial arts-influenced guys. So I'd pick Glacier, actually.

Not at all, because the meaning of titles has changed over time, and because the nature of how WWE treats Cena is different than how the NWA and WCW treated Flair. Back in his prime, Flair was the man because he was the Champion. Today in WWE, Cena is the man because he's Cena. Therefore, the number of titles partially defined Flair, while with Cena, it's just a bauble he has, a counting number that means roughly as much as the number of Make-A-Wishes he's granted or some other stat of whatever providence.

I love Daniel Bryan, but if Roman Reigns isn't big and strong enough to take down Braun Strowman, Bryan won't be either. It's no crack on Bryan's size vis a vis how he can compete with bigger guys, but his bread and butter is as a gutty underdog. The Broken Shield needs one HOSSY motherfucker to step in. Honestly, that makes the perfect choice Samoa Joe. He's not as big as Strowman, obviously, but you send him down the aisle with the towel over his head and counter out of the hanging choke into the Coqina Clutch, and boom, he's made as an equalizer. Of course, he'll never be brought to the main roster in that capacity because Vince McMahon is a big dummy, but Joe makes the most sense.

"IF I HAD A DIME FOR EVERY DAY STING IS GONNA HOLD THE WWE CHAMPIONSHIP, I'D HAVE... ZERO DIMES." -- Enzo Amore

In all seriousness, WWE has to be setting up shenanigans for Night of Champions either way. In a good and just world, Lex Luger or the next closest approximation of an ally Sting once had will show up and turn on him. If Luger can't do it, then hell, WWE's exiled Hulk Hogan, right? If it really wanted to rub Hogan's face in it, Scott Steiner would be the one to stab Sting in the back. I don't have enough faith in WWE to do it right, so it'll be someone underwhelming like Kane or transparent like Ric Flair. If Sting DOES win the title, which isn't that far-fetched, my guess is he'll hold it until Survivor Series, where he'll either drop it back to Seth Rollins or be victim of a Sheamus cash-in.

"Martial Arts Kick" is something lazy announcers use to describe cravate kicks or spinning roundhouses or anything else that doesn't have official wrestling nomenclature, and it's worse because it's vague. Wrestling announcing shouldn't be vague in matters of the nuts and bolts of matches and stuff, only when the story calls for obfuscation of the facts.

The indies pretty much are the evolution of the territorial system. The talent sharing might belie that comparison, but in the age of digital media, widespread DVD releases, and the Internet, a guy in Portland is going to be known outside of Oregon, for example. However, due to monetary restrictions and such, each region of sorts has its own guys, and the bigger names, the ones that are worth flying in, act as the bigger draws, kinda like how Ric Flair would barnstorm as NWA World Champion, even if his homebase technically was in Carolina.

For one, all of them will probably get signed at some point, even if they're not going now like the leaks on Twitter seem to suggest. Under the assumption that LeRae isn't being offered now but that she's been on WWE's radar (I've heard she turned an offer down in '14, but I'm not too sure of the source so pinch of salt), all of them seem like they're fits for WWE's oeuvre. Clearly, the company has good taste in wrestlers, Gargano being the most polarizing exception. Killing WWE for signing him is not my bag because he is popular enough.

Realistically, all of them have a chance to get over. Ostensibly though, some of them are going to have obstacles. Vince McMahon still cannot be trusted with getting black folk over. Even though I have my doubts about Swann or Athena getting to the main roster unscathed, they'll at least get a shot in NXT, which could be good if it becomes its own brand that isn't solely developmental. Realistically, Busick, Gulak, Ciampa, and LeRae will get their chances to shine. Taylor, however, is the one who could be the brightest shining star out of all of them because of how unique his personality is and how much it connects with crowds, which is the most important thing.

To be fair, I've always liked Goldberg. But the matches I've watched recently of his, especially the Diamond Dallas Page match, weren't particularly as bad as his rep would precede. When you have a guy like him who's a solid slab of granite with legs who hits people really hard, you have to temper expectation. He's not going to chain submissions or do topes. However, do his big power moves have gusto? When he has to sell, is it commensurate with what's expected? Does he act and react like a human being and not some kind of robotic automaton? Goldberg wasn't perfect, obviously, but I thought he was better than the talking points laid on him.

Dave amended this to include all merch later on, so that is how I will proceed. ANYWAY, Los Ice Creams ice cream is a must. How is that even a question? Second, if Ashley Remington has any captain's hats on sale, you should probably get those, although I'm not entirely sure if that's part of his merch package. As for shirts, I haven't been to a Chikara show since National Pro Wrestling Day, so I'm not entirely up to date on the designs. However, based on sentimentality and the current rumors floating in the wind, the focus should probably be on Chuck Taylor and Drew Gulak first. Even if they're not signed, both, especially Taylor, still have pretty good shirt designs. Princess Kimber Lee and Jervis Cottonbelly are two more you should look into because they're just swell. Also, even though he's fighting an uphill battle, I'd also see if Kevin Condron has any merch to sell. I mean, his team is a deep underdog, but tactics aside, he's fighting a noble fight at least.

The invasion has been happening slowly, for sure, but it's been happening for longer than most realize. For example, Sha Samuels and Martin Stone appeared at the 2008 King of Trios. Zack Sabre, Jr. actually appeared in the 2011 Rey de Voladores tournament before he really took off. MK McKinnan is another import who did some things for Chikara, notably in the Hurricane Irene-troubled 2011 Young Lions Cup.

Now that Progress Wrestling has blown up and other promotions like IPW: UK, Southside, Preston City, and Bellatrix are attracting more and more Yanks, I expect the exchange to grow stronger. British nationals like Sabre, Mark Andrews, Will Ospreay, and Marty Scurll as well as continental Europeans who've made waves in England like Tommy End have already made their landfalls. If this means more talented folks from the United Kingdom, Ireland, and other parts of Europe come over to America, then so be it. The UK is the next big thing in world wrestling, and I for one want them to show their wares.

I won't tell you how you're wrong because wrestling is a deeply personal experience that changes from person to person. You were rocked by Bayley/Banks in person, which is understandable. It was one of the greatest professional wrestling matches of the year, if not the decade or all-time. But you will still need to watch more wrestling eventually, right? You have to recalibrate your system, and even if nothing on the three night slate comes close to that Women's Championship match, it can still be enjoyable. For example, the Bullet Club/Battle Hive match on night one will be the hottest fire unless the Nightmare Warriors/Snake Pit match exceeds it. They can both be worth the admission even if they're not life-changing. Even the other matches will have their fun parts.

But going to Trios and being underwhelmed is okay too, even if everyone else seems to like it. Again, no one can tell you what wrestling to like but you. As long as you go to have a good time and keep your mind open, nothing you can do is necessarily wrong.
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