Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Mark Madden Doesn't Know How Observer Balloting Works

Bryan is a WON HOFer according to Madden, but for what specious reason?
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Mark Madden is an easy target for criticism, but sometimes, you have to take the easy fruit, especially when he's advocating completely wrong things. Sometimes, those wrong things are subjective. Other times, like in his current column explaining his Observer Hall of Fame ballot, it's objectively advocating the wrong thing. I will dive into his shortish column.

But WWE’s business is in the tank. You deny, but the numbers don’t lie. You like WWE, but your ranks are dwindling.

Ah yes, give it to me, give me the stark condescension from a man writing about wrestling who obviously hates it and the people who watch it. Oh, I missed this so much.

Has WWE suffered by the notion that “anybody can do it?” That’s a legit question.

No, I'd say it's suffered because Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns is on the booking sheet for the next three years straight, and Seth Rollins is still cutting a whiny promo that started sometime around quarter hour number six on Monday night.

It’s amusing that Bryan’s WWE stardom was bestowed so reluctantly. WWE hated Bryan, diluted Bryan and diminished Bryan, but he still got over. So they gave Bryan’s catchphrase to everyone, trying to prove that “the catchphrase is the star.”

But Bryan loves to wrestle, and was so appreciative of a chance to do it on the wrestling world’s biggest stage that he let WWE defecate all over him, then showered off and did his best, which was always very good. The machinations never seemed to rattle Bryan, and that’s doubtless what really pissed off WWE.

Punk, by contrast, didn’t stand for it. Both approaches impressed me.

*poses question that the introduction of guys who look like everyone else being pushed may be hurting WWE*

*praises the two dudes with normal bodies to high heavens*

Good to see Mark Madden's writing style of self-contradiction is more reliable than the tides.

Bryan is on my WON HoF ballot. I also voted for Brock Lesnar, Ivan Koloff, Perro Aguayo Jr., Gene and Ole Anderson, and the Assassins.

Good look from Madden voting for the Andersons when they fell off the ballot last year, thanks to the new rule instituted by Big Dave Meltzer that if you're on the ballot for more than 15 years that you need more than 50% of the vote to stay on (thanks to Keith Harris for passing that note on to me). But then again, did anyone expect Madden to take his duties as WON HOF voter anymore seriously than his gig writing about wrestling?

I don’t follow Mexican wrestling closely, but Perro is an obvious choice.

"I know nothing about Mexican wrestling, but this dude died, so let me patronize him."

Koloff, the Andersons and the Assassins won’t ever get in. I’m tired of explaining why they should, but that won’t stop me from voting for them.

That's right, the Andersons won't ever get in because they're not on the ballot anymore. Try to keep up here, Marky Mark. Although I do give Madden credit for keeping on fucking that chicken. He makes Meltzer's stumping for Sting year in and year out look tame by comparison.

Lesnar is automatic: A huge star and difference-maker in WWE and UFC. Lesnar is currently WWE’s only legit star, with zero disclaimers. The company could go a long way toward solving their problems by paying Lesnar what’s required to work full-time from now ‘til WrestleMania. Maybe he would, maybe he wouldn’t.

The reason why Lesnar is a huge star and a difference-maker in WWE right now is because he's not around every week for Vince McMahon, Kevin Dunn, and the rest of the writers and bookers to ruin with the stink of trading wins and humiliation booking. If WWE really wanted to spend money on a whole heap of nothing, it would be better off buying TNA at this point. Maybe the company should save some money by keeping Lesnar's appearances sporadic and impactful and then maybe streamlining the writer's room. Or mainly, hire someone to hit Vince McMahon with a riding crop every time he has the urge to change the script and say "NO! Bad Vince! BAD!" It would cost way less than paying Lesnar to ruin his mystique.

Up next: Who didn’t get my vote for the WON HoF, and why.

For the first time in my life, I am psyched to see what Madden has next, if for the wrongest reasons.