Thursday, October 15, 2015

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 142

Not only the best wrestler in WWE, but the best theme song in NXT too
Photo Credit:
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

  1. Sasha Banks
  2. Finn Bálor
  3. Emma (original)
  4. Tyler Breeze
  5. Sami Zayn
  6. Bayley
  7. Charlotte
  8. Asuka
  9. Vaudevillains (original)
  10. Eva Marie (no @s, plz)

In my mind, no, but one has to understand that a veritable pastiche of opinions make up this fine wrestling community we have here in our corner of the Inter-tubes. Some of those people will find John Cena, Roderick Strong, or Prince Puma/Ricochet to have had stronger years than Sasha Banks, and they wouldn't be wrong. I don't think anyone can have a right or wrong answer when it comes to judging in-ring work unless they come to that conclusion under shitty pretenses they believe to be factual. While I feel that Banks is running away from the pack, it's hard not to consider the year some of the other stronger candidates, especially Cena, have been having. So, yeah, even though I find it unfathomable, I don't expect her to sweep the top.

Try some of these:

  • Malice Lopez
  • Alex Lopain
  • Jack-O-Lopez
  • Halexoween
  • 2016 Presidential election winner Ted Cruz
Okay, that last one's a bit too scary for Twitter. But I hope those are a good start for your brainstorming session.

In the spirit of the season and with my disdain for Hell in a Cell being used as a pay-per-view theme instead of a feud-ender, I'm going to go with Halloween Havoc, especially if the wrestlers are encouraged to dress up in costume. The possibilities would be endless, and maybe those schmucks on the main roster could have a little fun for once.

Honestly, asking me "who goes over" is a tricky question because if Big Paul L. was going to deign himself to work with an indie promotion, he'd probably want all of his dudes and dudettes going over on pain of death. But I'm going to pretend that I have control of this and that Triple H has no say in the results:

  • Champion vs. Champion - "Absolute" Ricky Starks vs. Finn Bálor: The Demon appears and of course goes over in an athletic, sportsmanlike match where the crowd is titillated and satisfied regardless of finish.
  • Champion vs. Champion, Pt. 2 - Veda Scott vs. Bayley: Bayley appears to win the match, but Scott successfully argues to the referee citing the landmark decision of Baxter vs. the state of South Dakota that she deserves a restart, and gets Bayley with a handful of tights.
  • "Dirty" Andy Dalton vs. Tyler Breeze: Breeze nearly forfeits because Dalton is too much of an uggo. After being coaxed into wrestling, Dalton wins by catching the Beauty Shot and then giving him a piledriver.
  • Matthew Palmer vs. Samoa Joe: Dream match of sorts, with Joe getting the duke with the Coquina Clutch.
  • Jojo Bravo and Cherry Ramones vs. the Vaudevillains: This call isn't hard to make since the Vaudies have gold and Bravo and Ramones don't. But it would be an entertaining affair nonetheless.
  • Jessica James vs. Sasha Banks: Regardless of the result, these two would throw the fuck down for the best match of the night. Banks would win in a squeaker though.
  • Franco D'Angelo vs. Baron Corbin: Two big hosses throwing down, but give me Corbin here.
  • Delilah Doom and Asuka vs. Angelus Layne and Dana Brooke: Who said it had to be all NXT vs. Inspire Pro? A mixed up tag sees Asuka and Doom combining forces to further push down the threat of Brooke and Layne.
  • Keith Lee vs. Apollo Crews: This match would be one hell of an opener, and Lee scores the upset with the big win over the new number one contender.

Oh, not a whole lot, just this one:
Photo Credit:

Well, he probably did none DURING the match, but beforehand, I wouldn't be surprised if he did them all. And the utter shittiness of that finish is about 10,000 out of ten. Just a sickening beginning to the political hit on the Hart family that would culminate with the Montreal Screwjob.

It should be Samoa Joe. I'm hearing Joe isn't earmarked for the main roster, which is utter bullshit. he has history with John Cena, and they'd go balls out to make that moment work. The guy who will win the title form Cena, however, is probably going to be his opponent at Hell in a Cell, Dolph Ziggler. Even though I've cooled off substantially on Ziggler in the last year or so, both as a worker and especially as a character, he's not a bad choice to take the rehabbed  US Title off Cena. He's just not Samoa Joe.


TJ as Ravishing Rick Rude. Josie as Stunning Steve Austin. Amanda as Madusa. Buddy as Larry Zbyzsko. AND YA BOY TH AS PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY. THE DANGEROUS ALLIANCE IS COMIN' TO TAKE YOUR CANDY.

I'm hella awkward around strangers, so I'd probably just go about my day. I'd make a mental note about it, especially if it were an indie tee, but I just don't feel comfortable talking to people on the street, even if they outwardly show the same interest.

I wouldn't do it, but it's not wrong. It's also a good way to see who's wearing the Bullet Club shirt cuz they saw someone else do it, and who actually watches wrestling among them.

I haven't seen the most recent episode yet, so I don't know how things go down. However, I'm pretty sure Bill Cipher is gonna possess Wendy and make things hella difficult for the Pines twins, especially Dipper, whom I'm not sure is completely over her yet.

My one quibble about the show is the animation. I don't like that everyone looks like they're in the Family Guy universe. Other than that, I think it's a solid show. It keeps up with the Scooby-Doo ethic and has a lot of amusing-to-humorous moments. It's a great fit on the Cartoon Network's lineup right now.

Is GO BACK TO SLEEP an option? I'm really tired. Oh, I have to do something? Well, I gotta be somewhere in an hour, I will try to MOVE and then...

*falls into a boundless chasm*

Sadly, nearly every single wrestling account I follow posts spoilers, because sometimes, that's all you've got to talk about. If you're just talking about wrestling news sites? Then I'd stick with following the official WWE/TNA/ROH/etc. accounts. Even then, NXT posted news of James Storm appearing on the show before his episodes were due to air, but if it comes from the official account, does it count as a spoiler? I don't know.

I'd say all of them are in a tie for last place because they seem to be formulated by pissbabies who can't take fun invading their sport. Although, is getting mashed in the face with a shaving cream pie after you've won the game for your team an unwritten rule? If so, I choose that one.