Thursday, October 29, 2015

Twitter Request Line, Vol. The End of Your Multiplication Tables

Could a demon be nigh at Survivor Series?
Photo Credit:
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

I don't know. Finn Bálor is NXT Champion right now, and he's got a program set up for Takeover: London with [SPOILER]. That being said, debuting him as the Demon, a savior character for Undertaker and Kane, would be a great way to introduce him to the world AND have great symmetry with this whole 25 years of Undertaker thing WWE is building Survivor Series around. If you want me to ballpark a number, I'd say Bálor has a 40% chance of showing up at Survivor Series, good enough to get a little excited, but not too good that one should expect him there.

Paul London as a legit alien, or at least an Earthling who has gained the INTREPID TRAVELER power of space travel, would be a start. Like, he gained some kind of cosmic power, and he can now make Mil Muertes sell for him. I would also find some way to show Drago's dragon form, even if just once, but that's depending on how much cash they freed up either from Alberto del Rio's departure or that MYSTERIOUS SOURCE that has given them funding.

I didn't go to either one of them, and neither you nor Bill have sent me reports yet, SO I CAN'T SAY. But I will attempt to make a wise and fair judgment based on the matches that are listed on Chikara's website. You can see the cards here and here. Judging on paper, I'd go with the Columbus show if just because it has "Smooth Sailing" Ashley Remington on it and the Chicago show didn't. But then again, the Chicago show had the Farmer Frog and Columbus didn't. WHAT DO I PICK? Ah, I guess I'll flip a coin and say... King of Trios? This coin is broken.

Samoa Joe on the main roster is tantalizing because of his history with John Cena. If Cena ran his mouth enough, he could probably get a good feud with Joe going, one where the matches would be ++. But James Storm is a guy who should probably stick to being a big fish in that small pond. I doubt any former TNA main eventer who isn't Joe or previously with WWE or WCW would get a fair shake on the main roster. Storm would be royalty in front of a crowd that appreciates him.

Certainly not Kevin Nash's character! But without having seen either movie, I'm gonna go with Channing Tatum's character because he's a total body guy with likable charisma.

I want to say he'd have been the guy to get the push Sting got in 1988, but it feels to me like Magnum would have gotten a push to the NWA World Championship before the first Clash of the Champions in early 1988 had he not wrecked his car. That happened in 1986 though, and he was probably going to get the shot at Ric Flair at Starrcade '87. Ronnie Garvin almost certainly never would have won the title, that's for sure. Magnum would certainly have been a successful Champion, but as a victim of the Southern "heels on top booking," his cache might not have been fully realized until he jumped to the WWF.

I could see him taking an offer from Vince McMahon sometime in 1990 after the Ultimate Warrior experiment started proving unsuccessful, and instead of Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter at WrestleMania VII, the big main event would have pitted Hulk Hogan against his counterpart from the South, Magnum TA, which wouldn't be for the title. I'd imagine the Warrior/Randy Savage career-threatening match would have had the title attached to it, but also that Warrior would have lost the belt to someone shortly after at a Madison Square Garden event to someone like Flair or possibly a freshly-turned Jake "The Snake" Roberts.

Magnum would never win the title for McMahon, and I see him never really fitting in at Titan despite the money. He'd leave to go bail out WCW after it stupidly fired Flair and sent him packing Up North. I could also see WCW stupidly putting him in the New World Order because of his associations with the WWF, even if he was born to hold the banner for his home company. He'd stay with WCW until the very end, and he'd also be one of the stalwarts who wouldn't come aboard to the WWE until after the Invasion had ended. He'd have a career coda in WWE before bouncing back and forth between legends appearances in WWE and in-ring stints in TNA.

Nah, I'd rather fly away, yeah.

Reigns wins the WWE Championship at Survivor Series after cooler heads prevail and the front office sees that spite-booking Seth Rollins to break CM Punk's modern record is asinine. Cena then returns at TLC and wins the United States Title from del Rio in a hard-fought match reminiscent of his bouts in the past with Punk and Daniel Bryan. The night after, after WWE realizes it made a terrible mistake giving Sheamus the briefcase, and through some maneuvering that involves Zeb Colter and del Rio invoking xenophobia against a dirty European immigrant, del Rio takes the Money in the Bank briefcase, which he uses that night to take out Reigns, who'd just fought a war with Rollins in the rematch the night before. Reigns' rematch the next week ends with del Rio getting Reigns disqualified over dubious circumstances. del Rio promises not to give Reigns a rematch ever unless he earns it by winning the Royal Rumble. To further complicate things, Reigns starts the match from the pole position. Of course, he wins.

Then, at WrestleMania, del Rio retains the Championship clean as a whistle in the middle of the ring with the corner tree of Joey Lawrence stomp. The next night, WWE executes a double turn with Reigns mercilessly thrashing Colter, del Rio, Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Kane, and everyone else who tries to get in his way. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon then announce the new Authority has Reigns as a centerpiece.

Only if the Eagles fire him. Seriously, this is one of the most short-sighted talking points and the most blatant example of wishful thinking from college football super fans and curmudgeonly NFL "purists" alike. Kelly won't leave for college, where he has to answer to an athletic director, deal with boosters, and engage in the cutthroat world of recruiting with all the rules and regulations involved when he has total control of a NFL franchise with the only limiting factor being a salary cap. He's with the Eagles until the Eagles tell him to get the fuck out.

If you're talking about just in the business? Now that Sting has signed with WWE, it's a full circle. WWE is the only place where one can make money in America, and I doubt that anyone in New Japan Pro Wrestling, WWE's only real major competitor worldwide right now, hates McMahon. Not a lot of room to be sanctimonious and stick to your guns when the only place to get cash in a business where EVERYONE is in it to get paid is working for Papa Vince.

The Young Bucks are the answer that come to mind except that I'm not sure WWE or Triple H could have done anything more than they could have to get them outside of giving them true independent contractor status. The Bucks are the anomaly, the only people in wrestling who can make money without Vince McMahon's help, but a lot of that has to do with their ability to work dates with NJPW. With that in mind, WWE should have tried a lot harder to get Adam Cole. The company was rumored to have wanted him along with Sami Callihan at the time Callihan got signed. The rumored reason why he didn't get in was because WWE had too many guys who looked like Cole and not enough guys with the look and ability of Callihan. Look how far that got Solomon Crowe (although to be fair, Crowe was hampered a lot by injuries too). Cole should be the king shit of fuck mountain right now. WWE blew it on him.