Wednesday, November 4, 2015

I'm Not Mad at You, I'm Just Disappointed

Nikki Bella doesn't need your shitty comments
Photo Credit:
Yesterday, I did something I’m not sure if I should be ashamed of. I spend a lot of time – too much time – on Twitter, and someone retweeted a sexist comment about Nikki Bella into my feed; what the tweet said (and I am paraphrasing because the person deleted the tweet) that Bella spent a lot of time on her knees and that’s why she was allowed opportunities other women in the WWE don’t have.

Me being me, I basically called this person out, which is the part I’m not sure if I should be ashamed about because they’re a lot younger than me, although still an adult, and gave them some details about how women are ALREADY viewed in wrestling, up to and including being part of the audience, and how hard it is to not only be a female in wrestling but to be a fan as a woman, and… what I got back was someone calling me a bitch, this same person saying I MUST be Bella’s biggest fan, and – on my part – a whole lot of righteous indignation.

Your jokes about the sex lives of wrestlers, male or female, aren’t funny. Your comments about women being on their knees to get jobs aren’t funny. It may be hilarious to you and your Twitter friends, but to women who HAVE been called sluts at shows – I see you, girl it never happened to! I see you denying it happens, but as I said yesterday, I’ve never been stabbed and I am assured it happens on the daily, almost! – and to women who have rapey comments about being double-teamed and pictures of their asses and tits posted on social media by dudes who seem to go to shows just for that purpose, it’s not funny.

People should be allowed to enjoy wrestling. I don’t want to ever see anyone excluded based on orientation, age, gender, who they like, who they don’t like, their ethnic and racial makeup, nothing. I’m not going to make sexist jokes about how women in wrestling get their jobs because I don’t want anyone to do it to me or to the women I love and consider friends. I won’t mock you based on who you choose to defend. I won’t treat you like a second class citizen because you like someone I don’t. This is not my possession. Wrestling is meant to be shared and enjoyed, albeit with a healthy dose of skepticism because it does have its fair share of chicanery occurring, and I am not here to keep anyone from loving it as much as I do.

What I AM here to do is make sure you know that when you make your snarky little comments about women in wrestling, when you post something negative about a wrestler’s sex life because you don’t like that wrestler, when you go out of your way to be insulting and negative, that people see it and will call you on it. People will hold you responsible for the attitude the community, the fanbase, projects. People like me WILL lecture you about being a jerk because to you it was 140 characters to get hearts and retweets, but to someone else it’s a hateful hurtful bit of speculation that happens all the time in much less public venues.

I am not going to tell you you’re a bad fan, but I will do my best to be as unpreachy as possible when telling you why your comments and your dick-sucking jokes aren’t funny. Maybe that makes me a bad fan. I don’t know. Maybe some folks can’t enjoy wrestling without being sexist and horrible about it. But I would much rather be that kind of bad fan than the ones who make it impossible for someone to be comfortable at a show, or to enjoy wrestling as much as I do.