I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 285

Austin and Ted Fowler shoot the breeze
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show
Episode: 285 (Dec. 29, 2015)
Run Time: 1:13:19
Guest: Ted Fowler (2:22)

Summary: Austin and Fowler are driving around the Broken Skull Ranch in the 1996 Ford Bronco with the recorder rolling. That means almost all of the conversation is about the ranch’s deer herd and hunting, though they also spend a fair amount of time discussing the Mona Lisa. Other topics include the beer Austin’s youngest brother drinks, the phrase “all intents and purposes” and each guy’s preferred personal care products.

Quote of the week: Austin: “You know, they always talk about how good of a painting the damn Mona Lisa is? It didn’t impress me one bit. I mean, was she supposed to be smokin’ hot or what? Because I must be missing something. I would call her about, well, I’d call her about a four, according to the painting. Teddy, it’s a world-famous painting, the Mona Lisa. You’ve heard the songs about it. David Allan Coe wrote the song: “Mona Lisa lost her smile, the painter’s hands are trembling now.” Am I missing something? I didn’t think she was that hot! And we gonna get back to puttin’ the deer heads on the wall, but I gotta talk about the Mona Lisa. We got 45 hard minutes to kill here, Teddy, work with me!”

Why you should listen: Every wondered what the redneck version of “Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee” might sound like? Wonder no longer.

Why you should skip it: Animals die. Well, not during the recording, but the process is discussed in a fair amount of detail. Also, Fowler is usually a guest on the Thursday uncensored show, and he’s just better working blue.

Final thoughts: I’ve never hunted, but I do find the discussion about the BSR herd fascinating. I’m more interested in the parts about cultivating healthy stock than I am the harvesting side, but the entire process — at least as Austin and Fowler present it — is thought-provoking for a lifelong suburbanite such as myself. Further, as an Austin show devotee since day one, the rhythm of his life throughout the year is familiar to be, and the Austin you get during winters on the ranch is perceptibly different from the one at home in Marina Del Rey or on location shooting his two reality shows in either the California desert or near Lake Hartwell, GA. That kind of nuance appeals most to completists, I imagine, so it might not influence your decision to listen to a given episode (in this case, Austin and Fowler are running out of things to say to one another), but it must be said that Austin more than any other regular host does a good job of drawing his listeners in to his personal life in a way that makes the audience feel somehow invested in even the most banal conversations.