Friday, December 18, 2015

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 147

Bringer of hope?
Photo Credit:
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

For the record, his follow-up tweet corrected the "hentai" to "general," which is good because I think hentai is a hopeless genre of film anyway. Ahem. Anyway when Vince McMahon is declared non compos mentis, and Triple H is the filter through which all programming is run through, then things will have to get better. Right? Right? Bueller? Anyway, even if it's false hope, WWE still has hope. As for real life, well, Bernie Sanders still has a shot at taking the Presidency, I guess...

My guess is either the stipulations are total butt, or they involve blood, which is obviously not going to be allowed anyway. If anything, WWE kinda needs to cool it on stipulations in general and build stories involving satisfying plot, character development, and matches where the workers can tell a story on their own merits.

The bunch-taping schedule probably factors into the storytelling, but a lot of its excellence can be derived from the stories the people involved try to tell. Each story is simple (although if I had a minor gripe, sometimes the stories can be too simple), it follows a logical beat, and the matches are allowed to provide satisfying and sometimes epic conclusions to them. Basically, NXT's storytelling paradigm is everything the main roster's isn't, and I suspect it would be the same even if NXT were live every week.

Your assignment is to connect Ax, the first entrant in the first 30 man Rumble to Dolph Ziggler, the 30th entrant in the most recent one through eliminations only. GO.

8. Top Banana was hot fire, and in addition to resolving some long-standing story threads, it cracked open quite a few more. The only thing keeping it from being a full ten is that I am dreading, absolutely afraid of even, the impending Kimber Lee/Jervis Cottonbelly split, especially since it will more than likely involve Lee breaking the heart of the World's Sweetest Man. Still though, I expect Season 16 to pick up right where Season 15 left off. And who knows, maybe this year is finally when CHIKARA ZOMBIES will be introduced...

You're right. If you want to avoid spoilers at all costs, you probably need to be offline. The Internet isn't called the Information Superhighway for shits and giggles. Whether maliciously, like I have seen on Facebook, or accidentally, people are going to spoil the results of movies, wrestling shows, sports, what have you. And the latter is perfectly okay because if you see something, the first urge is to talk about it. Where better to talk about that thing than in the communal meeting place for the entire world?

I think it depends on the state. Washington State has laws in place against money changing hands in goat wrestling because Daniel Bryan was bankrupting everyone who challenged him. But I think if you go to Georgia, all bets are off.

Ahi tuna, sashimi style. Deep Pacific Ocean fish, eaten without any kind of cooking or pickling? I think that's the least Pennsylvania food.

Frankly, I prefer it out of the gravy pot. But if you want to get creative, then brown it and render out the fat. Then add some flour to make a roux before adding some heavy cream and parmesan cheese. Put the sausage back in and let it simmer for a bit. Then blanch some asparagus, cut it up and put it into the sauce for a couple of minutes before putting it over pasta.

I really don't know. The big telegraph has Roman Reigns wrestling against Triple H, but is WWE really that short-sighted to put Triple H in a title program for Mania? If I had to make an educated guess, the big story would be the passing of the torch to Reigns from John Cena. Putting the strap on Reigns right now as a babyface signals that WWE is ready to run with him on top. Reigns/Trips would be good from a story standpoint for now, but it doesn't feel like a Mania program. Reigns/Lesnar II would be a goddamn spectacle, but that rematch feels like a SummerSlam main event. Reigns/Cena, however, is a Mania main event if I ever saw one.

Eric Hinske was at the plate. Brad Lidge was on the mound. The count was 0-2. Hinske swung and missed. The Phillies won the World Series. It was only the second time in my life a team from Philly won it all, and the first time I was actually cognizant for it. I will never forget it as long as my mind is intact as it is right now.

To be honest, if I ever stop watching WWE, it'll be because I need a break from wrestling. But assuming that I do abandon ship, I'd like WWE to run a serious Reigns/Dean Ambrose program for the title. No one has to turn heel. Just let them go for a pay-per-view cycle without having a tournament attached to it.

The former right now sounds better because Owens as the first entrant in the Rumble sounds like such a babyface idea. He's still got so much mileage out of being a big bad that it's not even funny. Conversely, Bayley and Asuka would be such a righteous match. Sign me up for at least three of them, please.

Last night, that dog got a whole piece of chicken breast left over from dinner. He's such a spoiled pooch it's not even funny.

Usually, if you go to prison, you get to keep your belongings, so Martin Shkreli gets to keep the Wu Tang album for now. However, now that he could be going to jail, the time is prime for Bill Murray and the Wu Tang Clan to steal the album back.

If it's on the pre-show again, then I'd book, I dunno, Kane to win because at that point, who the fuck cares? If it's on the main show, then absolutely someone who could use it as a springboard would win. I'm at a loss of who that would be. Maybe Baron Corbin? I don't know. On second thought, just let Kane win the thing and let it be conveniently forgotten by WrestleMania 33.

Main Event: Finn Bálor vs. Bret "The Hitman" Hart
Sami Zayn vs. "The Macho Man" Randy Savage
Baron Corbin vs. The Undertaker
Samoa Joe vs. "The British Bulldog" Davey Boy Smith
Apollo Crews vs. Shawn Michaels
Dash and Dawson vs. Hawk and Animal

Of course, the biggest flaw with this question is NXT is built on strong, female competitors, and WWE was in between dalliances with women wrestlers, so I will take the liberty and book three matches between NXT and AJW:

Bayley vs. Bull Nakano
Emma vs. Manami Toyota
Asuka vs. Akira Hokuto

I haven't seen nearly enough of the indies to make a definitive comment, but my answer leans towards John Cena from the WWE, NXT, and other various things I've seen this year. He definitely stepped his game up during the US Championship Open Challenge. The problem is that his range was still pretty limited, but WWE seems to like its competitors to stay in their lanes? I don't know. Either way, Cena's run of matches seemed to run a gamut, and he seemed surprisingly adaptable during them.

To be honest, if it weren't for the implications in New Japan, I'd probably be utterly bored by the Jay Lethal/AJ Styles match going into it. I haven't seen too much of Lethal in 2015, but what I have seen felt, I don't know, pedestrian. But the creative booking ROH is going to have to use to keep the belt on Lethal without damaging Styles' heat for NJPW is fascinating. Hell, the fact that Lethal keeps getting overtures from WWE is also another wrinkle added into the match. I'll be at attention for sure.