Thursday, January 14, 2016

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 148

The above is in demand, which is why people flock to see it from all over
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It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers!

For one, you are definitely driving to frigging Green Bay to see WWE's main roster. NXT is where the cache is at, brother. RAW is just there to pay the bills. But my guess is that you would rather trek three hours to see NXT because NXT does a great job of keeping your attention and making you interested in it. Triple H and his crew are all about creating demand with a hot roster of hungry workers in stories that make sense. RAW... not so much.

I doubt the well of wrestlers will ever run dry for Vince McMahon to put in his Hall of Fame, but if it ever does, then be prepared for AKI Man, King Slender, and Captain Insano to get their own Hall of Fame rings! A winner is you!

Punk doesn't figure into Bryan's endgame whatsoever. If anyone is recreating the totally not sexual at all vibe between Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed with Bryan, it's William Regal. But no, Bryan's endgame will see him putting some seed in Brie Bella's belly and some more seed of a different kind in his sustainable organic community garden, at least until Vince McMahon comes crawling back to him for just one more job. Bryan will refuse until McMahon opens a briefcase full of cash, flannel shirts, and granola.



'Scuse me, I had to go throw up at the thought of Triple H as the WWE Champion again in 2016. I thought I was okay with Ol' Helmsley, but I guess my vomit nerve is still sensitive. Anyway, Trips and Stephanie McMahon should not be the center of the show, no matter how much they script the show to be such. The best course of action would be to put the title on someone different at the Rumble, like Kevin Owens, Brock Lesnar, or even Darkest Timeline Bray Wyatt. Let the title be its own big story for Mania and then have the big issue between Roman Reigns and Trips be the center of gravity for the second big story.

If I were booking things, I would recycle nearly identically the finish to the 1992 Royal Rumble, which is the last time the prize for the match was the WWE Championship. Triple H plays Hulk Hogan, eliminating Reigns/Sid from outside (Trips can either be eliminated from the match or not even be an entrant), and then the Ric Flair role gets played by Owens or Wyatt or Lesnar. Although I probably wouldn't have the winner triumph directly from it. Let them throw out a few more guys and get a signature spotlight for their big title win.

But no, Triple H needs to be absolutely nowhere near the hardware, which is why he'll totally win the Rumble and head to Mania as Champion, allowing Reigns to win the belt back. The RAW narrative is made to be both predictable and unsatisfying. I hope I get proven wrong though.

I honestly don't watch things other than football or wrestling on a regular basis to give a complete answer for them. In football, announce teams are mostly terrible for whatever reason. The worst is NBC's Sunday Night Football team though. Cris Collinsworth has his head lodged so far up his ass that he can eat what he has for dinner infinite amount of times, and Al Michaels has turned into an old curmudgeon. AS for wrestling, well, it's the team everyone watches Monday night for some reason and can't be compelled to turn off. I swear, all of RAW's viewing audience, myself included, are suckers.

I hate forecasting dudes' employment, but honestly, if Heath Slater and Zack Ryder have survived this long, then the Ascension have a great shot of sticking around through the year. They're bodies WWE can take on house shows, and who knows, maybe they can catch fire in the right circumstance, especially if this brand split happens again and they're put on the show that isn't as closely scrutinized by Vince McMahon (so, Smackdown/NXT).