Friday, February 19, 2016

Best Coast Bias: Looking Good, Sis

", fiddlesticks."
Photo Credit:
When Asuka walked down to the ring to tee off on helpless red shirt Deonna Purrazo, Tom Phillips' commentary did a great job of describing the former's appeal and ineffable "it" factor in a mere four words: "Here comes impending danger." As the former (...wait, former?) Most Dangerous steps between the ropes there's a particular buzz she carries in alongside her Purge mask and her coat of a thousand colors, simply elucidated as such: while she's a lock to win -- at least to date -- there's also the potential her opponent could be outright embarrassed. And honestly, forget embarrassed: there's the very real possibility this impending victim could find themselves taking the one-way express to KTFO Junction.

Purrazo put up a very brief fight, but in a flurry of urakens followed by the increasingly signature roundhouse she was disposed of again. When she slapped Asuka and Phillips' response was a quiet "Oh, no" it was a reinforcement of the previously laid out signs that if you walk up to the undefeated newcomer and try to purchase a bit of trouble, she's going to make you buy the store while the paramedics cart you off so you can sip your dinner. She puts the fear of Asuka into everybody around (well, maybe not Nia Jax -- yet) and everybody knows, you know?

It was that sense of being afraid in conjunction with the thrill that someone could walk in and not be able to walk out that was strangely absent from the dream match main event for the #1 contendership between Sami Zayn and Samoa Joe. At first, you could be forgiven for thinking that there would be shenanigans afoot to conclude the show since before the main event Baron Corbin made a vague threat to William Regal since he wasn't reincluded for title shot consideration, but the Lone Wolf was merely a red herring to what actually took place, the results of which you see above.

And let us point out it was not as if this match was bad, or even not good. The word cromulent was invented for moments like these, and in Joe's increasingly sadistic bully and Zayn's perennial fighting from underneath you couldn't ask for a better dichotomy of opposites to play off of on numerous levels. It's just that if Mr. Carter's crime was doing 55 in a 54, than this match should've been ticketed for doing 30 in a 35. Dare we use the phrase "wrestling for the sake of wrestling" in 2016? But obviously, if the outcome was to serve as a bridge to get towards the fireworks factory of one of these men competing against Full Sail's resident Daemon for the Big X in a Big Match Situation then this was the best way to keep the controversy train rolling while not cribbing the previous iteration of this culling the herd of contenders that Corbin was a victim of a few weeks ago. It solved nothing, but then again it wasn't supposed to. And given E's weird predilection of not booking three-way dances of double elimination so that there's a definitive winner, it leaves the door open to a lot of possibilities while not tipping their hand towards anything besides a certain rematch.

Besides the sheer joy of seeing the now sadly injured "Perfect Ten" Tye Dillinger get a surprise flash pinfall over human landfill Alex Riley, the best wrestling on the program might've opened it in a fun 8-man tag with the Bridge and Tunnel boys pairing with American Alpha in opposition against Dash and Dawson and The Dubstep Cowboys, and hopefully the latter set continues on as a unit if for no other reason than for NXT to make cool if even horribly late to the dance Helvetica shirts. In the eyes of the unenlightened this might come off as a sight, but the opposite is intended when we say that as long as they have some NXTenure, Big Cass and Enzo Amore need to kick off every show they wrestle on. The crowd's automatic good will for the ones they named tag team of 2015 rolled over into Alpha coming out in bastardized Steinerized singlets and really piqued in the opening chunk of the match when a Pier Eight was teased long enough to be desired by virtually all and then enacted with the white hats cleaning house. In the back end of the contretemps everybody affiliated with the Bad Part Of Town proved successful at stymying attempts to Save The Gable, but this couldn't last forever. Once they retook control late the once and future tag team title challengers overwhelmed their opposition culminating in both a Grand Amplitude and a Rocket Launcher to get the win, though it's Chad Gable and Jason Jordan who'll see BAMF yet somehow tragically not Mama Bliss next week.

That's lined up alongside Baymella going in against Eva Marie and Nia Jax, and you'd have to assume we'd get some sort of resolution to the number one contenders' situation as well. If we don't, we should get a Kickstarter together or something and see if we can put the fear of Asuka in them.