Monday, March 14, 2016

The 2015 TWB 100: Meet Your Voters and Guidelines

It's beginning!
The ballots have been sent in. The votes have been tabulated. The blurbs are being written as I am typing right now. The TWB 100 for 2015 is in the process of coming together, but before the results can trickle out, the time has come to introduce the intrepid panel of voters who have deigned to send in votes this year. The number dropped from last year's total by 11 (79 last year to 68 this year). Additionally, I am disappointed that I only received 68 ballots and not one more before the deadline, as I would have been hooting and hollering if 69 ballots were turned in. Did you know that 69 is a sex number and thus is nice? Well, if you don't know, now you know.

Still, despite the drop, I am pleased with the number and breadth of ballots received. While the total number was lower, this year set the high-water mark for ballots with 100 wrestlers. In fact, while 28 ballots did have 100, that number could have been higher if not for duplicate votes and/or ineligible wrestlers on at least two big ballots. While larger ballots are a bit harder to process, the effort needed to tabulate is far exceeded by the value in data and uniformity that they provide. So pat yourselves on the back, voting public.

Anyway, as is tradition, I shall name everyone who submitted a ballot along with any project with which they are associated as well as fun facts about them. Please give a round of applause to this year's TWB 100 voters:

TH - Caretaker of no fewer than four dependent, carbon-based lifeforms, three-quarters of which are warm-blooded

Rich Thomas - Amateur photographer, third-string goalie for the 1986 Detroit Red Wings

Andrew Smith - TWB fanatic, still nursing hangover from Super Bowl L party

Charles Humphreys - Freelance amateur writer and podcast guest, fetches Triple H's coffee and receives one lash for every degree over 165°F it is

Okori Wadsworth - TWB staff writer, can tell the difference between a llama and an alpaca

Brian Brown - Mysterious Philadelphia man-about-town, will never learn what the elusive and unadvertised 12th secret herb and/or spice is in the Colonel's Original Recipe Fried Chicken no matter how hard he searches

Nick Malone - TWB connoisseur, caught a totally legit Mew in Pokémon Blue by throwing sodium hypochloride at a Zubat and using a net instead of a PokéBall

Rich Fann II - Football writer at Buffalo Wins, is actually a sequel

Bill Bicknell - Twitter bon vivant, teacher, is still really mad Nintendo removed Roy from the Super Smash Bros. series

David Kincannon - Thespian, once overcame crippling agoraphobia by taking bath salts and chasing whom he thought was David Alan Grier through an open meadow (it was really Charles Nelson Reilly)

Antonio Cruz - TWB sommelier, currently working on an Eddie Vedder-singing-voice-to-English translator

Elliot Imes - TWB staff writer, must live with the shame that Chris Christie roots for his favorite football team

Jamie Girouard - First man to pay his way onto The Wrestling Podcast, actually lives in Teddy Roosevelt's nostril on Mount Rushmore

Greg Johnson - Freelance amateur writer, spearheading drive to get the Chargers to move not to Los Angeles but to Pocamoke City, MD for no other reason than it would be a ripping good laugh

Willow Maclay - Cinephile and movie blogger, is for some reason jealous of Spider-man villain Sandman on account of his beach body

Jeff Stormer - Chikarmy foot soldier, once bet a man a beer that Dalton Castle couldn't fit 50 gumballs into each of the earholes of The Boys (he lost)

Alex Torres - Occasional reviewer at Free Wrestling, wasted all three of her genie wishes on new hats for her siblings

Henry Casey - TWB savant, favorite Tame Impala song is "Nangs"

Matthew Hollinger - Professional pro wrestling show attendee, will slice a man's Achilles tendon for blood sausage and a cold beer

Bob RT - Philadelphia Twitter occupant, is currently on his 20th year of being angry at Alanis Morrisette because rain on your wedding day without any further context is NOT ironic

Chris McGibbons - TWB devotee, also has retired from the Detroit Lions this offseason

Nick Ahlhelm - TWB disciple, has producer credits on three of the first five Police Academy movies under the name "Jus le Boeuf"

Chris Harrington - The man behind Wrestlenomics, currently raising awareness that the grass is NOT greener on the other side of the fence if you're colorblind

Rene Sanchez - Former TWB staff writer, played for Chip Kelly at Oregon

Joey O. - Y-Not Radio DJ, is actually the next-to-last Son of Krypton

Sean Orleans - Honest-to-God professional wrestler, is planning on going back in time to change history and be the man to bodyslam Yokozuna because forget Lex Luger, that's why

Ryan Kilma - TWB partisan, now comes in five flavors, including savory pork and cucumber-cilantro-lime

Frank McCormick - Twitter wrestling icon, still cannot decide whether Drew Gulak or Soldier Ant has the finer set of buttocks

Mat Morgan - Chikarmy consigliere, is working on a Twitter bot that corrects people who incorrectly identify a "golazo" from a regular goal

Bill Hanstock - SB Nation, Cageside Seats, and Progressive Boink bigwig, keymaster of Gozer

Butch Rosser - TWB staff writer, is on eternal probation for mocking the East Coast office with his fish tacos and balmy weather in December

Sean Williams - Lawyer and former e-fed standout, has successfully gotten two tens for a five

Francis Adu - Twitter court holder, still trying to talk himself into the Giants paying all that money for Janoris Jenkins a year after Giants fans ruthlessly mocked the Eagles for the Byron Maxwell contract

Kris Zellner - Lucha whisperer and podcaster, is owed 50,000 pesos from Mil Mascaras for bullfighting debts

Brandon House - Chikarmy reconnaissance, once threw a party just so he could have an excuse to fire Skyline Chili at Cleveland from a high-powered cannon

Bob Godfrey - TWB habitue, has never paid market price or above for shock absorbers

Joey on Earth - Proprietor of Wrestling On Earth, is not the Big Dog but has given the Big Dog snacks

Andrew Hewitt - Former e-fed icon, considering dropping his cache of nuclear warheads on Villa Park on grounds no one would blame him outside of struggling BPL teams looking for an easy win to avoid relegation

Joe Ellis - Philly resident, has never been owned despite taking on the appearance of a corncob

Angelo Castillo - TWB's resident reader from the Philippines, still waiting to send me a goddamn good recipe for lumpia, dammmit

Dylan Hales - Freelance amateur writer and podcast host/guest, broke the Fifth Seal of the Apocalypse by not deadlining his ballot this year

Tanner Teat - Freelance amateur writer and podcast host/guest, hides a secret shame of being an Ole Miss fan despite his status of undergrad studies at Alabama

Devon Hales - Twitter wrestling pundit, has ghostwritten every Kanye track since "Gold Digger"

Scott Raychel - Twitter sage, will never, ever Heart Powerviolence again, EVER

Jesse Dlugosz - TWB superfan, the rarely-publicized sixth member of the Teen Titans

Mike Pankowski - Emissary from Strong Island, was once pulled over by Officer Warren Barksdale for doing a piledriver in a lucha match

Stygimoloch - TWB well-wisher, recently re-did 11 of Hercules' 12 Labors on a larf, omitting only the Augean Stables (would you wanna clean up that much shit for kicks?)

Keith Campbell - Twitter cognoscente, cannot tell the difference between eggshell and mother of pearl

Christopher Zinn - Philly Twitter indweller, is heading up Nick Gage's legal defense team

Jesse Powell - TWB appreciator, once caught a swim-training Brock Lesnar while ice fishing

Ryan Foster - Twitter occupier, learned how to waterbend from Avatar Korra, but forgot how when he got hit in the head with a cabbage

Joe Drilling - Co-host of the What A Maneuver podcast, was the touring flautist for The Replacements on their infamous Saturday Night Live performance that got them banned

Brock Lutefisk - Former TWB staff writer, Horb Flerbminber's only friend

Scott Holland - TWB staff writer, sold Triple H his first shovel

Patrick Kay - Twitter cohabitant, is the only person in the state of Arkansas who's licensed to give eye transplants

Andrew Rosin - Writer at Bucky's Fifth Quarter, will only play Monopoly if he's allowed to bring along a dart gun with horse tranquilizers in it

Cam Is Like - Twitter boarder, you know the guy who blocks your path in Pokémon Red/Blue/Yellow in Viridian City because he hasn't had his morning coffee yet? Yeah, Cam has nothing to do with that at all

Courtney Rose - Wrestling With Makeup proprietor, currently is co-holder of the WCW World Tag Team Championships

Hayley Erin - Sister of the above voter, is mad at aforementioned sister for picking Scotty Riggs to be her tag team partner instead of her

Brandon Rohwer - Cinephile, has on more than one occasion served hors d'oeuvres on porcupine quills

David Murphy - TWB observer, once flew from Claymont, DE to Provo, UT without his arms ever getting tired

Bill DiFilippo - Staff writer at UPROXX Sports, once saw me belly-laugh while watching a now-deleted Trill Ball Ins video at Pica Pizza (this one's true!)

Matt Conley - Twitter participant, is going on a hunger strike until Big Daddy is put in the Observer Hall of Fame

Joshua Browns - Chikarmy covert ops, does a killer Adele in karaoke

Stacey Costabile-Wenslauskis - Part of the Wrestling Librarian Clan, has won a gold medal in shushing in the Library Olympics for the last three games

Kevin Newburn - Twitter townsperson, Azarath Metrion ZINTHOS. Now you're a toad, just like Kevin likes it

Kenn Haspel - Twitter scion, hasn't met a cut of meat he won't throw in the smoker, and that includes unicorn shoulder

Brandon Kay - Cosplay fanatic, is angry no one likes his Ted Arcidi cosplay, although that may have something to do with subject matter

And before I get to the people whom the above voted for, just a note about the process. This year, each day will have 25 wrestlers listed, not 20, except for the top quartile. Numbers 6-25 will be listed and each of the top five will have their own entry. Also, the tiebreakers are as follows:

  • FIRST - Who has the higher high vote?
  • SECOND - Who was on more ballots?
  • THIRD - Were they blurbed?
Why the third tiebreaker? Because I feel if I have to decide between two wrestlers, I want the one whom someone cared enough to write something about than just a vote repository. If each wrestler received the same high vote, the same number of votes, and were both blurbed (or not blurbed), then the two (or more) wrestlers will be considered tied for their spot. Only one time has that ever happened in the TWB 100, and the two wrestlers who tied were Fire Ant and Michael Elgin. I wonder if they'll show up in this year's countdown. Tomorrow, I will unveil all the wrestlers who have received votes but did not make the final 100.