Monday, June 13, 2016

I Listen So You Don't Have To: Steve Austin Show Ep. 330

Austin gabs about Ospreay/Ricochet and takin' a shit
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If you’re new, here’s the rundown. We listen to a handful of wrestling podcasts each week. Too many, probably, though certainly not all of them. In the interest of saving you time — in case you have the restraint to skip certain episodes — the plan is to give the bare bones of a given show and let you decide if it’s worth investing the time to hear the whole thing. There are many wrestling podcasts out there, of course, but this feature largely hews to the regular rotation we feel best fit the category of hit or miss. If we can save other folks some time, we’re happy to do so.

Show: Steve Austin Show — Unleashed
Episode: 330 (June 2, 2016)
Run Time: 1:36:02
Guest: Ted Fowler (15:23); Kristin Austin (59:10)

Summary: Austin opens alone, discussing the Ricochet/Ospreay match. Then he calls Fowler to discuss the quality of windows and noise outside his house, idiots who take “gun selfies” and the show Bloodline. Fowler tells a story about a grease fire at a small party he attended and thanks Austin for his tip about hiding spare keys. Austin confronts Fowler about the rib he got him with recently, then they break down the mechanics of a burn pit and catch up on Austin’s physical therapy. The last segment is a conversation with Austin’s wife, which covers pool maintenance, a trip to the vet that required Austin to perform emergency work on a dog leash and an update on Austin’s hopes to master neon clock construction.

Quote of the week: “When she says pooping, I’ll translate for you roughnecks out there. The damn ducks were shittin’ everywhere. Shittin’ on the ledge of the hot tub, shittin’ on the edge of the pool. We have a potted plant right there in the corner, and one of ’em would get on one side, and the other one would get on the other side, and they’d shit everywhere. And then they decided it was time to go for a swim, because that’s what ducks do. And there’s a swimming pool, and these are smart ducks. So they jump in the water and they start swimmin’ around because ducks like water. … And while they’re in the swimmin’ pool, they were shitting. They were shitting so much that the next Wednesday when our pool guy came by to clean the pool … he goes, ‘Man, those ducks back here, I know they’re crappin’ all over the side of your pool, that’s not an issue for me, but they’re also crappin’ inside the pool and it’s getting inside your equipment.’ He goes, ‘You gotta get those ducks outta here or they’re gonna ruin your equipment.’ ”

Why you should listen: The most relevant portion is the open where Austin explains his (mostly positive) feelings on the world’s most-discussed wrestling match. Transcripts don’t quite to his opinions justice, so while I almost always advise people skip the open on such shows, this is an instance where the main course is served first. After that there’s absolutely nothing of consequence, but Austin is rolling with decent stories and a great attitude, largely avoiding the uncomfortable topics that sometimes arise when Fowler is on the second microphone.

Why you should skip it: There’s very little substance. Not that a lot of folks come to Austin’s podcast for consistency, but if you’re the sort who prefers interviews with an old wrestler or a detailed breakdown of the current WWE product, then mosey along because you won’t find a lick of anything to your tastes here.

Final thoughts: I happen to love episodes like this because they hearken back to the earliest days of the Austin podcast wherein he was establishing Steve Austin the podcaster as distinct from Stone Cold the wrestling character. It peels back the curtain on the global icon and national treasure so we get a sense of his “regular guy” life while seasoned with the salt and pepper that remind folks of the natural charisma that made his performing career so successful. The guy’s a damn good storyteller, and sometimes all you need in life is to spend a few minutes laughing along with your old buddy Steve.