Friday, September 2, 2016

Best Coast Bias: NXT In 60 Seconds

Bow before The Ninth, lowly commoners
Photo Credit:
Trained Medical Professional: You know that part where it looked like Shinsuke dislocated Joe's jaw in the title change at BK2TO?  That's because he did.  With that being the biggest of his injuries, I can't clear this man to wrestle.
Samoa Joe: storms off seething

Tye Dillinger: 10!
Full Sail: 10!
Buddy Murphy: At least I'm still a Dubstep Cowboy.  At least I won that much.
10ye: See, it's funny because that's the only thing you're going to win since your last name is synonymous with bad luck.  Also? The back of your skull is going into my knee.
Murphy: ...
10ye: ...
Murphy: ...that takes two segments?
10ye: shrug

Tomasso Ciampa: Well, Johnny's all hea, ah, hell.
The Revival: ...
Ciampa: ...screw it.  fights
The Revival: fights better since there are 2 of them and 1 of him
Scott Dawson: Team Indie must not take cash since we just gave them a reality check in Brooklyn and, still?
Ciampa: Yup.
The Revival: Actually, nope.  Shatter Machine!

Steve Cutler: I'm a thing now!  I will literally take anything resembling a reaction, but you WILL respect me.
Kenneth Crawford: Can I be a thing now, too?
Cutler: No.
Crawford: But...but I have a nice running Shooting Star Press and I
Cutler: I said NO.   Fisherman's Michinoku Driver called correctly because NXT is awesome!

Hideo Itami: If Taurus Midland doesn't want to take the express to Nap-a Valley, he'll stay out of my ring. Wahhh my eardrum I WAS GONE SO LONG LITERALLY THE ENTIRE IMPRINT CHANGED IN MY ABSENCE SUCK IT UP, CAPE BOY


TM61: We are the mighty, and despite that not being our Stateside name anymore, you know the rest.

No Way Jose: dances 
Angelo Dawkins: tries to be MVP, more accurately resembles MVC-
NWJ: And you thought *I* was in gimmick hell.  Uncle Slam!  Everybody dance now!

Cien: Well, I
Cien: wait what
A Double: People steal the spotlight from me so I'm gonna do it to you!
Cien: But I
A Double: Damn Itami, kneeing me so hard my eardrum ruptured...
Cien: Spanish
A Double: What?  ENGLISH!
A Double: What?  Ruptured eardrum!  Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Liv Morgan: I'm from Jersey!
Aliyah: I'm really into Ariana Grande!
Liv: That can't possibly hurt me in any way, shape or form.
Aliyah: intricate submission hold
Liv: ow.  And still I rise!  Roundhouse kick, mostly kinda sorta!

NWJ: I have the hair AND the heart of a lion!
Bobby Roode: Nice head.*
Everybody Reading This Realizing The Ex-TNAers Have Essentially Switched Takeover Opponents: They're getting the Dirty Heels back together to go against the Stereotypes Who Like To Have Fun BUT WILL ALSO FIGHT YOU, aren't they

The Rising Sun: is still awesome
Lee England Jr.: Hey, I'm in the opening credits now!  Cool.
Shinsuke Nakamura: I did everything I could in Japan, but the best competition's here, so here I came.  I have now beaten the best competition to hold the most important belt of my career, the Big X.  It's the Era of Strong Style now.  YeahOh!
Waiter: Your check, sir.
Me: This, this is an order for a nothingburger.
Waiter: nods