Thursday, November 17, 2016

Wrestling Six Packs: Opponents for a Newly Sprung Nick Gage

Who should step to the King? I have six ideas...
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein
Have you heard the news? Nick Gage is back out of prison and ready to fuck shit up again. When he was initially released from prison last year, he went on a whirlwind tour of the independents that was a combination of both brutal matches and self-promotion. He became a must-see wrestler, even though he didn't fit many preconceived molds of what must-see should be. Then, he violated his parole by testing positive for marijuana (LAME) and went back into the klink. Well, he's back out, and I assume he's ready to pick up where he left off. If that is the case, the following is a list of six matches that I would love to see him wrestle in, whether or not they're actually feasible or likely.

1. Chris Hero - Hero is on a lot of people's short lists for "Best Goddamn Wrestler on the Planet," but his resume of stellar matches isn't why he tops this list, oddly enough. It's how he carries himself in those matches that makes this potential match so intriguing. Hero's motif at the present moment is working as the American Genichiro Tenryu, the grumpy old man wrestler so to speak. Gage is loud, brash, and violent, which makes the prospect of Hero cramming an elbow down his throat all the more enticing. Gage talking shit to Hero, only for Hero to have none of it and blasting him three quarters of the way back to jail would be the definition of comedic wrestling without the curse of being boxed in as comedy. Of course, Gage's comebacks and his unique onslaught of violence would be worth seeing as well. This match would overall be the kind of spectacle that even someone like myself on a dearth of free time would take time out of his or her day to see. Potential Host(s): IWA Mid-South, Beyond Wrestling

2. Matt Tremont - Gage and Tremont run in the same crowds, and I'm pretty sure they've met before in the ring. But Tremont even since last year has gained so much more of a reputation. Besides, Tremont/Gage is the feud the hardcore world needs and deserves. In fact, short of John F'n Zandig ending his latest retirement, this contest should pretty much be the thing that Combat Zone Wrestling builds to. If not, I'm sure several other promotions would love to have it on the flagship. Needless to say, the contest would have oodles of violence, both serious and comical at times. However, it would be well worth the price of admission. Potential Host(s): Combat Zone Wrestling, IWA Mid-South, Beyond Wrestling, Hybrid Wrestling

3. The Goddamn Ryback - The wrong recent WWE castoff is on a prestige indie tour right now in my opinion. Cody Rhodes has a lot of fans, but Ryback feels like the guy who'd get more out of these random appearances in companies large and small. I guess a reputation among "smart" fans and a hefty booking fee aren't conducive to getting a lot of dates, but I know at least one company that could afford him and another that would do as much as it can to get him on a card. And no opponent would be more perfect for him than Gage, who has both the DIY ethos tha twould make him sympathetic against one of Vince McMahon's former body guy golden calves, but also the capacity for violence that would make for great theater with The Big Guy. Potential Host(s): WrestlePro, Beyond Wrestling

4. Minoru Suzuki - Gage/Suzuki is probably the least likely match on this list to happen. I doubt Gage can leave the country right now, and Suzuki may be bound to work for Ring of Honor in the US if he should come over here. ROH isn't interested in keeping interesting non-death match talent (see ACH, Lio Rush), so it taking a chance on Gage feels hilariously short. Still, these two masters of physical carnage would beat the holy hell out of each other and probably keep asking for more. Potential Host(s): I dunno, maybe one of those English promotions coming over on Mania weekend?

5. Keith Lee - Lee has become a national phenomenon thanks to ROH booking him and Shane Taylor in the tag division, but more accurately to Beyond for taking a chance on flying him in from Texas... err, I mean The Moon. Lee is a mammoth of a human being who both uses his girth as a storytelling device in the ring but also moves like a guy half his size, with the swagger and bravado to back. People say contrasts and styles make matchups; well, Lee and Gage are different stylistically but fit together like a glove on a hand. I would pay good money to see this match, no matter where it happened. Potential Host(s): Beyond Wrestling, Limitless Wrestling

6. Zack Sabre, Jr. - Look, I am a huge fan of ZSJ, but I just wanna see if Gage can make him kiss his own ass. Does that make me a bad person? Wait, it does? Well, I'm strangely okay with it then. Potential Host(s): Hybrid Wrestling, Combat Zone Wrestling, Beyond Wrestling, Absolute Intense Wrestling