Friday, December 2, 2016

NXT In 60 Seconds

Set for the rematch...tomorrow?  Geez.
Photo Credit:
Asuka: adds another victim
Ottawa audience in mixture of fear and respect: Huzzah!
Asuka, later backstage: Again: I wish a chick would.

Samoa Joe: Of COURSE Nakamura gets his rematch already, he's Regal's golden boy. But that doesn't matter, since I have CLEARLY proven myself to be
Tye Dillinger: Somebody who can be interrupted?
Joe: Last time I saw you, you were getting humiliated in your own country.
Tye: Fair enough.  You know last time I saw you, you were getting slapped?  does so and walks off

No Way Jose: ¡Me encanta la bailar!  ¡Fiesta!
Eric Young: sgcwjhcgwjehgchghjge!
Jose: ...dude, that isn't even English.  proceeds to pummel E.Y.
The Purge: Full Sail: ineffective interference
Jose: continues pummeling with a focus on Young
TP:FS: EFFECTIVE interference
E.Y.: Neckbreaker across the top rope!
Jose: ow
E.Y.: iucugujcgeujhduwghgajga!
Jose: ...but you just...
E.Y.: nveudhwdhdwhdiyw!
Jose: I'll figure out your bilingualism later.  Hammer shots!  Hiptoss neckbreaker!  Alley-oop right!
Nikki Cross: incomprehensible gibberish but drawing the referee's attention
E.Y.: approving incomprehensible gibberish in that direction  Wheelbarrow neckbreaker!
Jose: no me gusta :(
Cross: ¡Uno mas! post match Owen Hart style missile dropkick

Tye: This might be my night.
Joe: ...
Tye: Sure, I've been so close so often, and maybe if I can't compete at the highest level here maybe I don't belong.
Joe: You don't!
Tye: But maybe...just maybe...tonight is the night
Joe: How did this matriarch fornicator beat the Wellness Policy?
Tye:  I beat you up and send you to the outside!
Joe: ...did this Negro just make this a two-seg match?  What the hell is going on?
Tye: Citizens!  If only you had a nice round number to count to whilst I pummel this man in the face!
Citizens: 10!  10!  10!  10!  10!  10!  10!  10!  10!  10!
Joe: Yeah, enough of this.  kneebreaker
Tye: Oh, THAT sucked.
Joe: In comparison to what?  This rolling kneebar?  That thing where I chop your back, kick your front & flash elbow your chest?  Or all these corner jabs?
Tye: oh no
Joe: "oh no" is right, you five at best.  Now to get my receipt slap on!
Joe: Whisky Tango Foxtrot more whomping and jabs
Tye: Still here.  Still fighting.
Joe: Ugh I can't believe this poor man's Tyler Breeze took me three segs.
Joe: Ow!  Wait, what?
Tye: This IS my night!  I CAN do this!  I'm going to do it!  I've got him up!  It's TYEBRE
Joe: No, it isn't.  Sit your ass down!  STJOE
Tye: ow
Joe: I'm just going to keep putting you into submissions until you give up after this powerbomb, you overachieving pissant.  Here's a Boston Crab.
Tye: But maybe I can
Joe: Fine, here's a crossface.
Tye: ...if I can just...find...a....counter, I...I that
Joe: NO,IT ISN'T AND NO, YOU CAN'T.  Here's the damn Clutch.  GO TO SLEEP!  Go.  To Sleep.  Do it.
Tye: eventually does 
Joe: Ugh, finally.  Time to catch that flight to Japan.
Tye: slowly draws himself back up
Audience: respectful applause
Tye's hand: waves to adoring crowd
Tye's face: has a sad
Tye's brain: ♬ hello darkness my old friend ♬